Borrowing Money From My Daughter

[giramomma]

May 15, 2015 17:48:12 GMT -5 @southernsusana said:

May 15, 2015 16:29:37 GMT -5 giramomma said:

I can't like this enough.

This is exactly where we are (but we do have more savings..but holy crap, more costs.).

Just because we have a fairly decent sized taxable account doesn't mean we are free and clear, easy, peasey.

I literally just found out today that our school is giving iPads out to all the middle school kids. As if beginning of the school year stuff wasn't expensive enough, we now found out we're going to be shelling out an extra $175 every year for the next 9 years. Stuff like this, it seems, is happening on a weekly basis.

Our school gave out Ipads about three or four years ago.  Our insurance is $50 a year.  It is an extra $15 "rental" for the kids to take them home for the year. 

According to our district, they gave the middle school kids Chrome books instead because you must be 13 to buy from the Itune store.  How is your district getting around this?

What is the $175 a year for?  You could buy your middle schooler his/her own Ipad for that X 3.

Private school. I don't know what the money is for. There's a meeting we're all supposed to go to to find out. We are likely going to miss it,

I'm pretty upset about the whole thing. We're talking about a population where DS, at age 10, was one of the last in his class to get an iPad/iTouch. So it's not like they don't have access to technology. The kids have been using the iPads in school for a few years now.

There seems to be the attitude that the kids need to use more technology so that they can grow up to productive members of society. Never mind that they can't write a solid five sentence paragraph..who needs those skills...it's much more important to use Wikipedia and have the kids be experts in technology that won't be around in college and beyond.

I also find it amusing that they are on a big health kick: parents going around saying that if the kids 20 cupcakes over 9 months, then they can't give their kids deserts at home. Yet, they are encouraging extra screen time at home (or if they limit screen time to two hours a day, not complaining that their kids won't be able to go on minecraft because all the kid's screen time will be used for school only.)

[Deleted]

One of you needs to go to the meeting.

[quince]

If straits were truly dire, dipping into the kids funds wouldn't be an awful thing, especially if an eventual payback was committed to.

I agree with those who object to the idea of drawing money from the kids' accounts, unless there is an intent to pay it back with interest with a repayment date committed to, at which time if positive cash flow isn't achieved, some of the taxable accounts are liquidated to do so.  This would be achievable if the only reason to draw from the accounts was to avoid dipping into the taxable accounts, and everything was on track as expected. if things don't go as expected, obviously the family has resources, so tightening the belt, treating the money as debt to be repaid, and tapping other resources makes sense.

 Kids are part of the family, but as someone without desperation driving me, I treat financial gifts to my son as belonging to him, and am matching them with my own funds when they are deposited.

[Deleted]

I feel almost horrible that my dad borrowed money from me to get our kitchen stairs replaced but didn't "pay" me back. The quotes are because he let me live at home free after I flunked out of my first college although he made me take classes at NSCC (cael knows the school), while I worked full time, until I got off my ass and went back to school for a degree at Salem State. Took awhile but I did it. I'm not going to begrudge him that. Of course, I was supposed to inherit the house with the spiffy new stairs and all that fun stuff but he dropped dead 6 months after I got married and before we had the pow wow to change everything and Lynn is a shitty city to live in anyway. 

[8 Bit WWBG]

What is the impact of letting the CC ride for a month or two?  Would paying only a portion of the balance free up enough cash to close the gap, or minimize what you had to borrow?

Otherwise, it seems Archie has already made up his mind.  He's been pretty clear that borrowing from the kids account is the most convenient, pain-free solution.  Regardless of how its justified, I just hope it is a one time thing.  I'm sure he'll be fine and he'll repay it with interest.

[ArchietheDragon]

May 16, 2015 8:31:27 GMT -5 8 Bit WWBG said:

What is the impact of letting the CC ride for a month or two?  Would paying only a portion of the balance free up enough cash to close the gap, or minimize what you had to borrow?

Otherwise, it seems Archie has already made up his mind.  He's been pretty clear that borrowing from the kids account is the most convenient, pain-free solution.  Regardless of how its justified, I just hope it is a one time thing.  I'm sure he'll be fine and he'll repay it with interest.

Letting the cc balance ride would do it. Our balance thus month is about $4500. But I really don't want to do that either. Interest on a credit card seems worse to me than borrowing from dd

[8 Bit WWBG]

And there isn't $1,500 (or close to it) of cash that can be freed up in the short term through cuts?  Yeah, you don't "want" to.  But is it doable?

I get it.  Your daughter has cash.  Borrowing her cash means minimal sacrifice now, and when your wife gets paid again, maybe a $200/mo payment to replenish what you borrowed.  Easy, done.

I think you've already made up your mind.

[Ombud]

So you're going:

May 15, 2015 11:49:51 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

from cash flow negative $1500 a month to cash flow positive $1000 a month when she starts getting paid

in July. We're only talking 2 months so borrow from the kid! It's for her benefit too. And then pay the 3k back over the next year or pay her college (probably would get fed grants)

[ArchietheDragon]

May 16, 2015 9:42:45 GMT -5 8 Bit WWBG said:

And there isn't $1,500 (or close to it) of cash that can be freed up in the short term through cuts?  Yeah, you don't "want" to.  But is it doable?

I get it.  Your daughter has cash.  Borrowing her cash means minimal sacrifice now, and when your wife gets paid again, maybe a $200/mo payment to replenish what you borrowed.  Easy, done.

I think you've already made up your mind.

I am hoping so. I let my wife know that we will have to borrow from dd next month so hopefully she will use that as a catalyst to save. Also if my bonus comes in before the end of June that should cover it to. But I am not banking on either of those things.

[Ombud]

May 15, 2015 14:07:01 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

May 15, 2015 14:05:09 GMT -5 @rockit said:

What's the plan - take grandparents' retirement away from them?

That is actually part of the plan, if the worst did happen.  I think both my parents and hers would step up to the plate. 

willingly! Gladly! But unless they are wealthy enough to pay for a second set of kids college education (yes I think it's the parents obligation to cover that), then they'll need that term in$urance injection

[973beachbum]

I borrowed from my DD's account when she was young.  But unlike Archie our problem was high earners with high spending.  We were really poor!  We made enough it seemed but our net was only a few hundred more than our expenses.  There were months where unexpected bills blew our budget to shit.  We had a small EF but think $1000 not anywhere near what people here talk about.  So one even not so big thing comes up and we were in a tizzy.

And we never took vacations like people here do.  We were more like the car trip to see relatives types.  So I don't understand the need to take a big vacation but I do understand that some people do do that every year.  So while saying personally I would have kept older kid home for the year, not taken a vacation or a very small one, and put the deck off for at least another year probably doesn't mean much since I clearly live a much more scaled down life.

But that is a long story to say yes we did borrow from DD and for much smaller things.  They were more along the lines of visiting family during the summer and we had just paid to replace all 4 tires or had to in order to actually drive there type of thing.  Looking back I think she would agree that she was happy to spend those times with family instead of never going to see them.

I don't know which was worse having to tell my 4 year old we didn't have the money to buy an ice cream cone or having to tell my family we couldn't afford to put gas in the car to drive up to visit them. 

[Miss Tequila]

IM really shocked at how many of you think it is a major issue to borrow from your child for short term. I've never had to do it beyond not having $20 for things that pop up (I dont have an ATM card). But if it was between borrowing money from my dd or making a more costly choice, I'm borrowing from my dd!!

[Lizard Queen]

Having your kid spot you a $20 temporarily is very different from $4000.

[Ombud]

Yeah but it sounds like a temporary thing .... better than cashing something in and taking a capital gains hit

[TheHaitian]

May 17, 2015 10:01:18 GMT -5 Ombud said:

Yeah but it sounds like a temporary thing .... better than cashing something in and taking a capital gains hit

X 2

[Deleted]

May 17, 2015 9:58:14 GMT -5 Lizard Queen said:

Having your kid spot you a $20 temporarily is very different from $4000.

I think it's all relative to your financial situation.  If the parent borrowing $20 is a broke crack-head, chances are the kid will never see it again.  I'd rather loan 4K to Archie.

[Ombud]

Broke crack-heads have little kids with $20?

I took 1k out of the GKS & my joint savings to buy the family a new computer rather than taking it from monthly income and cutting back a month or two. Guess I'm a horrible GM (yes they live with me) & YM failure

[Lizard Queen]

May 17, 2015 10:10:29 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

May 17, 2015 9:58:14 GMT -5 Lizard Queen said:

Having your kid spot you a $20 temporarily is very different from $4000.

I think it's all relative to your financial situation.  If the parent borrowing $20 is a broke crack-head, chances are the kid will never see it again.  I'd rather loan 4K to Archie.

That's assuming he asked you if he could borrow it, and you had a choice to make the çall.  Did he ask his DD if he could borrow it? Silly me thinks that he should ask for permission. I think she's probably old enough to understand.

[Lizard Queen]

I gave my 17 yo niece cash for her birthday, because~ 17 yo girl.  She had to use it for gas money for her to drive herself and her 2 younger brothers to see my DB for his custody weekend.  Is that cool?  No.  The child support my brother pays should cover that.  Why doesn't it?  My exSIL bought herself a house with an indoor pool 2 years after declaring bankruptcy.  Was it my intention to contribute to covering for SIL's bad decisions? No.  I don't have the extra cash right now to indirectly support them in that way. The gift was intended for my niece to get something personal to her, as gifts often are.

[Deleted]

May 17, 2015 10:47:51 GMT -5 Ombud said:

Broke crack-heads have little kids with $20?

Sure, why not?  Broke crack-heads still have family that may gift to their kids.  My ex-SIL is an addict with two daughters and her oldest (age 12) probably has more disposable income than her due to a regular babysitting gig.  I never gifted her kids money since I didn't want to risk it going to their mom, but I know other aunts and uncles did.

[Deleted]

I had a kid I was teaching tell me once that one of the worst parts of mom being out of prison (for drugs) was having to hide his money cause she always stole it. (He lived with alcoholic, illiterate, grandma... Who was worlds better than mom.)

side note I also had both of his siblings and one of his cousins in my years teaching special ed. He was the only one diagnosed with an addiction at birth, which happened in a stairwell... He was the brightest. I wined where he is now?

[Miss Tequila]

May 17, 2015 11:28:01 GMT -5 Lizard Queen said:

I gave my 17 yo niece cash for her birthday, because~ 17 yo girl.  She had to use it for gas money for her to drive herself and her 2 younger brothers to see my DB for his custody weekend.  Is that cool?  No.  The child support my brother pays should cover that.  Why doesn't it?  My exSIL bought herself a house with an indoor pool 2 years after declaring bankruptcy.  Was it my intention to contribute to covering for SIL's bad decisions? No.  I don't have the extra cash right now to indirectly support them in that way. The gift was intended for my niece to get something personal to her, as gifts often are.

I have no idea what that has to do with Archie borrowing money from his dd. My daughter inherited about $5k when her grandmother died. I've never needed to borrow it but I can assure you that before I took money from somewhere that would trigger taxes, I would borrow it from her. She has no concept of money so me asking her wouldn't mean anything.

I honestly don't know why so ma y of you think this is so wrong. If Archie took it and didn't give it back that would be wrong. But to borrow something InThe short term is not some major parenting faux pas. Yes, he should not have overspent (revoked Archie's YM card) but the did and is doing what he can to stay afloat until the wide gets a check

[Lizard Queen]

May 17, 2015 15:19:26 GMT -5 Miss Tequila said:

May 17, 2015 11:28:01 GMT -5 Lizard Queen said:

I gave my 17 yo niece cash for her birthday, because~ 17 yo girl.  She had to use it for gas money for her to drive herself and her 2 younger brothers to see my DB for his custody weekend.  Is that cool?  No.  The child support my brother pays should cover that.  Why doesn't it?  My exSIL bought herself a house with an indoor pool 2 years after declaring bankruptcy.  Was it my intention to contribute to covering for SIL's bad decisions? No.  I don't have the extra cash right now to indirectly support them in that way. The gift was intended for my niece to get something personal to her, as gifts often are.

I have no idea what that has to do with Archie borrowing money from his dd. My daughter inherited about $5k when her grandmother died. I've never needed to borrow it but I can assure you that before I took money from somewhere that would trigger taxes, I would borrow it from her. She has no concept of money so me asking her wouldn't mean anything.

I honestly don't know why so ma y of you think this is so wrong. If Archie took it and didn't give it back that would be wrong. But to borrow something InThe short term is not some major parenting faux pas. Yes, he should not have overspent (revoked Archie's YM card) but the did and is doing what he can to stay afloat until the wide gets a check

Eh, it should have probably gone on the other thread.  There's 2 parallel threads going on.

[Ombud]

minnesotapaintlady, sorry to hear that you've got practical experience in this area. I don't think ArchietheDragon is in that position, but we never really know on these boards

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

Ombud, my daughter worked at my mother's house doing chores for several hours one day. My mother gave my daughter $20. My daughter then went to her dad's house for the evening. He took the $20 and gave it to his GF. They never paid it back. My XH isn't even a crack head; he's just an idiot. 


Personally, I wouldn't borrow it from my kids' accounts, but not because I think it's a problem. I wouldn't borrow it because I'd just leave it on the card for two months. Probably because I'd be too lazy to move the money over. 

[Ombud]

Yeah, that's a hard one to justify

[GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl]

Archie, washing and ironing your shirts is just a drop in the proverbial bucket.

You need to get a second, and maybe, a third, job to bring in more income to cover the shortfall.  

[Peace Of Mind]

Did anybody think to ask how much interest his daughter is charging him for this loan?  Just the title of this thread cracks me up.  You go, Archie!!  Don't forget to start her college fund.  You may need a vacation home when she's ready to attend. 

[NoNamePerson]

Have you considered moving to a LCOL area. That seemed to be the mantra sometime back about folks with money issues     Just pull up and move em along cowboy   

[ArchietheDragon]

it does piss me off a little (I try not to get too pissed) when I look at the transaction that have posted so far in the this credit card billing cycle (cycle started May 7) and see LL Bean $42, Gap $109, Starbuck reload $25, Etsy $21 and Minted LLC $75. Lots of unneeded crap that doesn't seem too expensive, but adds up.