giramomma
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Post by giramomma on May 8, 2015 22:16:47 GMT -5
I would also suggest finding back up care.
We relied on family to care for our youngest one day a week for 9 months. We still had scheduling issues. I'm glad we aren't doing it again...
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on May 8, 2015 22:22:01 GMT -5
Congratulations! It sounds like you got it all figured out. Sometimes I feel like the only person who having a kid didn't cost anymore. Instead of spending crazy amounts of money on clothes and going out- I spend it on daycare.
From birth to 3, our first kid cost us under $100/month. We cloth diapered and formula fed. Paid nothing for the birth. DH was a complete SAHD. We could afford to have a kid AND take really nice vacations, go out, etc. We also bought a new car, because the 14yo car we were driving needed to be replaced... Shoot, once the peanut is done with diapers, she's cost us less than $50 if we didn't send her to preschool. More like $25, since more of her clothes are from DD1. So, yes, for us, having young kids did not really increase our costs in a meaningful way.
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siralynn
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Post by siralynn on May 8, 2015 22:35:58 GMT -5
Definitely buy as much as possible second hand. Especially clothes.
Ours is just turning two, and the second is due in a couple of weeks. Daycare is by far our biggest expense ($1400/mon in VHCOL). Maybe $30/month in diapers and $300-400/yr in clothes/toys/books, mostly used. Initial startup costs for gear (car seat, crib, stroller, furniture from IKEA) was probably $1000ish.
Aside from doubling the daycare bill, second will be cheaper because we don't need any additional gear and won't need much additional clothing.
Congratulations! Someone told me that being a parent makes your lows lower, but your highs so much higher. I've found it to be totally true. It's a lot of work, but so worth it, and ultimately much more fun than I expected.
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siralynn
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Post by siralynn on May 8, 2015 22:44:47 GMT -5
I've found Kirkland brand diapers at Costco to be the most cost effective.
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cronewitch
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Post by cronewitch on May 9, 2015 1:15:39 GMT -5
I was shopping for diapers and found great prices on huge boxes at Amazon mom subscribe service. I got all the sizes and donated to the local food bank a few times because they said nobody donates diapers so I proved them wrong. I found they had enough food so I liked to donate feminine hygiene products, diapers and TP, I was trying to get my own shelf.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 9, 2015 2:22:00 GMT -5
Congratulations!! Look into hiring a mother's helper to work part time to assist Grandma. Grandma can do all the coddling, cooing, feeding and playing; but hire someone to do the laundry, take out the garbage (stinky diapers), clean the kitchen, tidy up and maybe even make Grandma's lunch and tea. This can also be your back up person for when grandma has other obligations or is ill. Hire this person a couple months before wife returns to work, to make sure you are both comfortable with her/him. I love my grandchildren to pieces, but they wear me out. It surprised me and I would not have predicted how tired keeping up with all the activities & foodings made me (these kids must be part Hobbit). Make this fun and a terrific experience for grandma without overwhelming her!
Update your wills and assign guardians for the child's physical and financial care (might be two different people). Review life insurance(s) and make sure it is sufficient now that there is a little one in the mix. Create a baby emergency kit & keep one in each car. Extra diapers/wipes/set of clothes/formula/bottle/blanket. Think stranded in your car for a couple hours, to being somewhere unexpected overnight. Set "Date Nights" on your calendar now for future months. Take a little time for yourselves. Remember to be a couple as well as a mom & dad. Diaper Bag: Get one of the backpack style ones so you don't feel silly carrying it around. I like the Lands End ones. You only need one & it lasts a long time. Get a high quality baby monitor. You will use it for a long time! Baby Carrier so you can wear your baby - You are going to need one that is comfortable for your wife, you, and Grandma. Shop together to pick one out. You might need more than one in the end. Sleeping - discuss whether your new baby will sleep in a moses basket, bassinet, crib or co-sleep for the first few months (and in which room since feedings are frequent when they are tiny). You might want a twin bed in the baby's room with the crib so mom can lie down with baby. High Chair (for after they are sitting up): Get a portable high chair that hooks onto the table. This is life saver when you are visiting others or travelling or if you like to go to restaurants with your child. I kept one in my car at all times. www.target.com/p/inglesina-fast-table-hook-on-high-chair/-/A-15764682#prodSlot=medium_1_2Get a Baby Food Grinder: They are awesome, you can grind up anything you are eating for the kid. Babyfood in the jars is icky tasting, at least everything but the puddings! Making your own food is more cost effective than buying jarred food and if you eat healthy, then it is better for the child. How up to date is your digital camera? Will the quality be good enough for the billions of photos you are about to take? Decide if you want pregnancy or birth portraits done & book your photographer now. Decide who's health insurance the baby is going to be covered under. Make sure you call them as soon as the baby is born/named to get them added to coverage (insurers do not do this automatically & if you miss the sign up deadline you are out of luck). Fill out your FMLA paperwork timely with the employer, so leave is pre-approved and pay/job is protected.
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steph08
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Post by steph08 on May 9, 2015 7:33:39 GMT -5
I use Amazon Mom for diapers and wipes. I don't have to worry about running out and pricing out diapers in the middle of Walmart.
Kids are fairly cheap. Just don't go crazy and spend $60 on one outfit that is just going to get pooped and puked on. Watch your clothes too and treat spit up patches immediately so they don't stain.
I also found burp clothes to be too small and worthless. We used receiving blankets as burp clothes - covered more of our clothes and wiped up more spit up than dinky burp clothes.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 9, 2015 8:58:16 GMT -5
I have been baby shower shopping for my sister and my cousin this week, and HOLY CRAP diapers are getting spendy! It cost me $50 for two cases of on sale Huggies. I mostly cloth diapered my oldest, youngest was about 40% cloth (he went to daycare, oldest didn't). I have a big tote of great condition (many new) all in one diapers but neither of them wanted to even entertain the idea when I offered to give them to them, so I guess I'll sell them instead.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on May 9, 2015 9:18:23 GMT -5
You can find great deals at children's consignment shops and yard sales. Don't buy Newborn size clothes. Some larger babies are born too big for that size. Size 0-3 months is fine. Not to mention that infants spend a good part of at home time in a onesie anyway. Yes, you dress them in other cute stuff, especially when going out with them. At home time it's much more important to get diaper access to quickly change it and something you can quickly pull off and replace when a diaper leaks or a bottle comes back up. Babies are drippy.
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Artemis Windsong
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Post by Artemis Windsong on May 9, 2015 15:08:13 GMT -5
Look at the latest brands of baby gear then go to garage sales or 2nd hand stores.
Find out if friends have hand me downs of baby clothes. They are softer after many washings.
Look at your health insurance policy to know what they cover.
I agree that cloth diapers are a huge money saver.
Best wishes of love and light for this great adventure into parenthood. The adventure never ends.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on May 9, 2015 15:21:50 GMT -5
I tried cloth with my first. Diaper rash like crazy plus getting wet made him cry. Switching to disposables. No diaper rash and better sleeping.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on May 10, 2015 16:44:22 GMT -5
My bit of advice: No matter what it is you decide to . .. it's wrong. This will start from the moment people find out your wife is pregnant to the day your kid graduates college. So grow a thick skin now.
My money advice is make a registry just about everywhere that offers one. Most stores offer 10-20% off coupons for anything remaining on your registry once the baby arrives.
I made two for my second kid even though we weren't having a shower. I stocked the registry with things like bottle liners, nipple pads, diapers, wipes so I could get it all with a discount.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on May 10, 2015 18:23:57 GMT -5
I agree with finding alternative care. We had now ex-MIL doing full time care for DS for about 14 months.... it was nothing but a hassle. Also join a wholesale club - they have good diaper and wipe prices. Also budget for formula - I thought I'd pump for about 9 months but I didn't produce a lot once I left the hospital and DS was a big eater (still is sometimes).
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jackb1117
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Post by jackb1117 on May 10, 2015 19:41:03 GMT -5
My bit of advice: No matter what it is you decide to . .. it's wrong. This will start from the moment people find out your wife is pregnant to the day your kid graduates college. So grow a thick skin now.
My money advice is make a registry just about everywhere that offers one. Most stores offer 10-20% off coupons for anything remaining on your registry once the baby arrives.
I made two for my second kid even though we weren't having a shower. I stocked the registry with things like bottle liners, nipple pads, diapers, wipes so I could get it all with a discount.
Will definitely keep this in mind when we do a registry!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 10, 2015 22:27:32 GMT -5
I tried cloth with my first. Diaper rash like crazy plus getting wet made him cry. Switching to disposables. No diaper rash and better sleeping. Cloth diapers from the last 10 years or so are nothing like the prefolds and pins and plastic pants that I was raised in. Moisture-wicking liners and velcro closures for starters. We never had rash problems and younger son has the most sensitive skin around. They're pretty cute too.
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siralynn
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Post by siralynn on May 10, 2015 22:36:41 GMT -5
Side note that has nothing to do with finances - the shoulder flaps on onesies aren't just because some babies have giant heads. They're also so the onesie can be pulled downward over the body if necessary. You can thank me after the first major poop blowout.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on May 10, 2015 22:52:46 GMT -5
You can find great deals at children's consignment shops and yard sales. Don't buy Newborn size clothes. Some larger babies are born too big for that size. Size 0-3 months is fine. Not to mention that infants spend a good part of at home time in a onesie anyway. Yes, you dress them in other cute stuff, especially when going out with them. At home time it's much more important to get diaper access to quickly change it and something you can quickly pull off and replace when a diaper leaks or a bottle comes back up. Babies are drippy. When the kids were newborns, we didn't even go the onsie route at home. We went with the t-shirt with side snaps route. All we had to do is unswaddle to access the diaper. Plus, then, nothing to pull over the kid's head, which was easier sometimes.
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Post by Deleted on May 11, 2015 6:45:24 GMT -5
I tried cloth with my first. Diaper rash like crazy plus getting wet made him cry. Switching to disposables. No diaper rash and better sleeping. Cloth diapers from the last 10 years or so are nothing like the prefolds and pins and plastic pants that I was raised in. Moisture-wicking liners and velcro closures for starters. We never had rash problems and younger son has the most sensitive skin around. They're pretty cute too. This. Check it out. It's really not like it used to be and especially if you have more than one can be money saving.
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busymom
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Post by busymom on May 11, 2015 7:44:20 GMT -5
Don't buy a lot of baby clothes before your baby is born. One of our kids was a big one, & was too large to fit in the 0-3 month clothing. That one was also too big for those cute newborn booties.
Also, I'd skip buying a changing table. IMHO, they're a waste of money.
Enjoy your free time. You'll wonder what you used to do with all of that time once the baby arrives. Congratulations!
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on May 11, 2015 8:18:29 GMT -5
Ah, well DS is almost 32 so that makes sense they improved cloth. When he was born I had a hard time even finding cloth. My Grandma suggested a diaper service but they used chemicals that DS's skin reacted to.
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justme
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Post by justme on May 11, 2015 9:04:42 GMT -5
Not a parent, but be aware that it's really easy to get sucked into buying the expensive stuff - especially if you/wife already have a tendency to do that. Even more so if you plan multiple kids so you say a 200 highchair is worth it because it'd last for all your kids (because apparently you never have two kids in a highchair at once lol). My niece is almost 9 months and my parents have about a grand of baby stuff stored at their place that she's already grown out of. But they got it at 20 off with that registry trick They don't know my plan is to hopefully have kids when they're done so I can get all the fancy stuff to borrow lol
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cael
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Post by cael on May 11, 2015 9:05:39 GMT -5
Congrats, neighbor! Nothing to add except as we're hoping to be in the same boat by the fall or winter. I appreciate the caution on family members as daycare... my mother insists she will watch my kid(s) full-time but I'm hoping to send it/them to daycare once or twice a week, to give her a break and so she doesn't burnout.
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on May 11, 2015 9:21:47 GMT -5
I breastfed my first for 15 months and cloth diapersed for 2 years. I only breastfed for 5.5 months with my second and did disposable diapers the entire time with her. I did not save that much using cloth. If you are looking for a huge money saver cloth diapering didn't do it for me. Too much money trying to find something DH was happy with, that worked overnight, etc. We do still use cloth wipes (wash clothes) because I prefer using just water to clean a bum unless out and about. Now breastfeeding on the otherhand, I saved a freaking fortune. I even bought a pricey pump off of ebay the second time and it still more than paid for itself.
Diapers run $45 every 6 weeks ordered at diapers.com. I found they have better deals and for a while they had better shipping than amazon. Formula easily ran $100 a month. Usually more like $125 a month and that was getting it 25% off most of the time (which made gerber cheeper than generic). I don't know how people do it for less than that. But that was my experience.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on May 11, 2015 10:25:50 GMT -5
this is just my personal opinion, but if you have a girl please please PLEASE don't treat her like a living doll like one of my FB friends is doing to her infant girl! That girl has about 100 headbands, pierced ears, and twice as many shoes and outfits as I have. Babies pee/poop/vomit on themselves on a regular basis (not to mention that they grow like weeds), so if you're trying to save money, make Walmart/Kmart/Target/consignment stores your best friends for apparel and shoes.
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ArchietheDragon
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Post by ArchietheDragon on May 11, 2015 10:30:34 GMT -5
Wash out your baggies.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on May 11, 2015 10:44:14 GMT -5
also I don't know if this was just me or it happened to other people, but I saved absolutely no money/time/mommy guilt by blending my own baby foods. I did come up with an avocado mango blend that DS loved for a while, but other than that the jarred baby food was just fine (no additives). On the plus side, the Baby Bullet now makes excellent smoothies that DS and I enjoy.
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yogiii
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Post by yogiii on May 11, 2015 11:44:39 GMT -5
I think the baby food thing is very kid dependent (like most things). Both of my kids were fine with chunks when we started solids at 6 months, so neither of them ever had food from a jar. They would just eat the stuff we were having if I mushed it with a fork. Yes, they were both very easy with foods, don't worry, they made up for it by never sleeping.
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on May 11, 2015 11:50:23 GMT -5
Just some random thoughts: Both of my boys lived in sleep-n-plays for the first 6 months of their lives, at least. The zippered kind were awesome. They didn't wear shoes until they started walking outside. I guess doctors recommend babies go barefoot when walking. Better foot/arch development, or something... We used double-sized cans of generic formula from Sam's Club. They were the same price as the regular sized named-brand cans, so effectively 50% less in cost. Started out BF-ing with both. It was too hard on me to do exclusive BF, but with the generic formula, it wasn't too terrible price-wise. Before kids, we used to do stuff regularly that would inevitably cost money. After kids, doing stuff takes a back seat to getting some rest, which is generally free.
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on May 11, 2015 12:17:36 GMT -5
this is just my personal opinion, but if you have a girl please please PLEASE don't treat her like a living doll like one of my FB friends is doing to her infant girl! That girl has about 100 headbands, pierced ears, and twice as many shoes and outfits as I have. Babies pee/poop/vomit on themselves on a regular basis (not to mention that they grow like weeds), so if you're trying to save money, make Walmart/Kmart/Target/consignment stores your best friends for apparel and shoes. By the time they are 6 months babies have their own opinion on headbands and bows. My mud and truck loving 2 year old loves to wear bows and have her hair done. She wouldn't wear headbands from about 6 months to about 18 months so I didn't buy any. Then I bought one for her Halloween costume last year and it has all been all pretties all the time. Fortunately my nieces got rid of a bunch around that time. So there isn't a lack of them at our house.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on May 11, 2015 12:22:18 GMT -5
Before kids, we used to do stuff regularly that would inevitably cost money. After kids, doing stuff takes a back seat to getting some rest, which is generally free. I think this depends on the kid's temperment and what you did before you became parents.
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