Does your car really affect your dating life?

[musicjenny]

My first actual date with now bf was in his car. Seriously. We were to meet up later but I was free early so we spent 4 hours delivering pizza for his second job. 
It was a year or two old Civic maybe? He's a car guy so it wasn't quite a ricer but very zippy. It was clean and smelled like pizza the whole time so I was in heaven.
4 years later and living together he's downgraded to a beater and a moderately nice second car. Living together has changed his priorities and he's much more responsible with money now.

[HoneyBBQ]

Not to me. Mostly what milee described. I wouldn't like a showy car, I wouldn't like a disgusting pile of crap. A car is just a car to me for the most part. Gets you from A to B. 

[milee]

May 7, 2015 7:35:43 GMT -5 dannylion said:

I am reminded of some of the young men I encountered when I was in the Air Force, the ones who spent all their money to buy a Corvette.  After they had announced "I drive a 'vette" they generally didn't have much left to say because they had exhausted their entire conversational repertoire. 

I had the coolest friend in high school; she had the best sense of humor.  She'd assume a smarmy expression and tell people that she drives "a 'vette."  We'd all burst out laughing because it was a doo-doo brown Chevette. 

[greeniis10]

May 7, 2015 8:57:33 GMT -5 Phoenix84 said:

Interesting, so splurging on car washes is more important than splurging on the car itself.

Surprisingly, there is a balance to this aspect as well.  Yes, keep it clean inside and out.  However, I've known people who obsessively keep their vehicles clean to the point that it's like a direct reflection of themselves.  Or they are afraid to drive it certain places or times of the year.  Or they will probably kill you if you spill something in or on it. 

A clean, nice looking vehicle is great, but if the person gets irate at a bird dropping or a smudge on the paint, look out!

[Green Eyed Lady]

I keep my car clean on the outside simply because parking at work is tight.  I have to dress up for work and I dont' like getting my pants or dress dusty when I have to squeeze through and brush up against my car.  Keeping the outside clean is a courtesy I appreciate when someone picks me up.  However, it doesn't matter if its a BMW or a 1990 whatever.

[flamingo]

When I was dating, what I cared about was that you were employed, had your own car and you didn't live in your parents basement. A lot of guys didn't get a second date because they failed at one (or more) of those criteria. I was so focused on college/law school, and I needed someone who was focused as well. And, I wasn't in it to be the chauffeur all the time. I figured if I could live on my own, own a car, hold down an (almost) full time job while going to school, you should be close to that. I didn't care what your job was, what kind of car you drove, or where you lived, just have that much figured out. I could pay my own way on dates, I didn't mind that, but if I was always paying for both of us, and driving everywhere as well, then too bad. I was moving on. And, yes, I dated plenty of guys who heard "law school" and thought I was going to be their ticket to riches. Clearly this was before all the bad press about how going to law school makes you poor 

[kent]

It made a difference for me many decades ago. It was an introduction (actually a set up) at a friends house and this absolutely gorgeous woman showed up. I was taken back to say the least.

We ended up dating and at one point she asked me if I knew why she agreed to go out with me in the first place. Me, like the dummy I am, said I had no idea. She said that at the lunch intro she noticed I was driving a Ford LTD 9 passenger station wagon (I was a single parent raiding two girls) and NOT a Corvette or Porsche. That spoke volumes according to her.

[mojothehelpermonkey]

I once dated a single dad who drove a BMW. I admired that he was raising his daughter all by himself, but the BMW was kind of a turnoff. I couldn't help myself from thinking that the payments could have been a college fund for his daughter.
However, my friend was just complaining to me that a guy (a somewhat mutual friend) she went on a date with had a car so old that it didn't even have seat belts. That's a little extreme, but if I were in her shoes, I would be thinking that he must be really good at fixing cars if it's still running. (Also, this guy lives within walking distance from where he works and probably doesn't drive much.)
I guess my point is that different women want different things. If you are on this message board, you probably don't want the kind of woman who is going to be turned on by a really expensive car. For most reasonable women, a well-maintained car that can get you where you need to go should be sufficient.
Disclaimer: I know a few women who are just really into cars, so they would get excited about a sports car the same way any gearhead dude would. These women would probably be disappointed if they found out your main reason for buying your car was to impress women.

[weltschmerz]

May 7, 2015 13:11:09 GMT -5 greeniis10 said:

May 7, 2015 8:57:33 GMT -5 Phoenix84 said:

Interesting, so splurging on car washes is more important than splurging on the car itself.

Surprisingly, there is a balance to this aspect as well.  Yes, keep it clean inside and out.  However, I've known people who obsessively keep their vehicles clean to the point that it's like a direct reflection of themselves.  Or they are afraid to drive it certain places or times of the year.  Or they will probably kill you if you spill something in or on it. 

A clean, nice looking vehicle is great, but if the person gets irate at a bird dropping or a smudge on the paint, look out!

I dated a guy with OCD. I had to take my shoes off and put them in a bag before I could get in his car.

Needless to say, that didn't last long.

[tskeeter]

Obviously the women who wrote comments and responses to this post were mature and wise beyond their years.

However, any young buck knows that in order to attract the opposite sex, you've gotta show some flash.  And the way to show their flash is by creating the appearance of being a good provider.  Until the last few years, girls didn't generally ask to see a statement of your net worth.  Instead, they made an assessment of your abilities as a provider by watching how you spent money.  Big spenders are more desirable partners than a guy who uses coupons to pay for your dinner.  (I know this has been a YM topic in the past and most of the women who participated in that discussion indicated they wouldn't go on a second date with coupon boy.)  Guys who wear expensive clothes are considered more attractive than guys who wear battered jeans and t-shirts.  And guys driving a Mercedes or a Jag have got it all over the guy with the Yugo.  In fact, I read an article several years back that discussed a study that showed that women were attracted to big spenders, even when the woman knew that the big spender was spending beyond his means.  So, regardless of what we'd probably like to believe, it's about the plumage, baby, it's about the plumage.

    

[CarolinaKat]

May 6, 2015 19:03:40 GMT -5 Phoenix84 said:

I've heard it said that having a nice car is key to a successful dating life? Is this true in your experience?

It doesn't have to stop at cars though. What about house or other posessions? Do these things help in your love life?

When you date/dated/chose a spouse, did you take into consideration the quality of their car or other possessions?

Haven't read the thread but let me tell you about DH:

He rolled up to pick me up for our first date in a true POS. Clear coat peeling on every major surface, bumper cracked, the bumper also in primer. Hubcaps, what are those?? Seats ripped, air vent covers missing, oil stains on the backseat and in the floor. Shifter knob cracked. passenger side window didn't work. The trunk only opened if someone laid the back seat down and crawled into it to release the catch. This thing could break down at any second.

Do you know what I thought?

SPOILER: Click to show

Yep, this one is a mechanic (he is). Mechanics always drive POS cars that you have to look at just right so it will do what you want. My grandfather owned and ran an auto shop, so I was at home in the 'Green POS' as it was called. The car had been cleaned and vacuumed so at least he was trying.

If possessions and houses and cars were my thing, DH would've had no chance. He came to me with nothing, no assets, no house, no savings, no debt. Also he has a profession that I don't particularly care for (uniforms freak me out). He moved in with his clothes, game system, and his favorite books. We've been building a life together for going on 6 years now. I don't regret my decision to choose the content over the wrapper.


Also DH has an old civic now 

ETA: Some context, We met through internet dating (long story). I was working as an Chem. Engineer. He was an Army Private. There was quite the income discrepancy. Although one one the things I really found attractive about him is he was very kind to the waitstaff and tipped well. That meant more to me than the 'Green POS.' Always be good to the waitstaff on the early dates!!!

[weltschmerz]

May 7, 2015 18:42:22 GMT -5 CarolinaKat said:

May 6, 2015 19:03:40 GMT -5 Phoenix84 said:

I've heard it said that having a nice car is key to a successful dating life? Is this true in your experience?

It doesn't have to stop at cars though. What about house or other posessions? Do these things help in your love life?

When you date/dated/chose a spouse, did you take into consideration the quality of their car or other possessions?

Haven't read the thread but let me tell you about DH:

He rolled up to pick me up for our first date in a true POS. Clear coat peeling on every major surface, bumper cracked, the bumper also in primer. Hubcaps, what are those?? Seats ripped, air vent covers missing, oil stains on the backseat and in the floor. Shifter knob cracked. passenger side window didn't work. The trunk only opened if someone laid the back seat down and crawled into it to release the catch. This thing could break down at any second.

Do you know what I thought?

SPOILER: Click to show

Yep, this one is a mechanic (he is). Mechanics always drive POS cars that you have to look at just right so it will do what you want. My grandfather owned and ran an auto shop, so I was at home in the 'Green POS' as it was called. The car had been cleaned and vacuumed so at least he was trying.

If possessions and houses and cars were my thing, DH would've had no chance. He came to me with nothing, no assets, no house, no savings, no debt. Also he has a profession that I don't particularly care for (uniforms freak me out). He moved in with his clothes, game system, and his favorite books. We've been building a life together for going on 6 years now. I don't regret my decision to choose the content over the wrapper.


Also DH has an old civic now 

Old Civics are in high demand. They have a veritable cult following.

[CarolinaKat]

May 7, 2015 18:48:15 GMT -5 weltschmerz said:

May 7, 2015 18:42:22 GMT -5 CarolinaKat said:

Haven't read the thread but let me tell you about DH:

He rolled up to pick me up for our first date in a true POS. Clear coat peeling on every major surface, bumper cracked, the bumper also in primer. Hubcaps, what are those?? Seats ripped, air vent covers missing, oil stains on the backseat and in the floor. Shifter knob cracked. passenger side window didn't work. The trunk only opened if someone laid the back seat down and crawled into it to release the catch. This thing could break down at any second.

Do you know what I thought?

SPOILER: Click to show

Yep, this one is a mechanic (he is). Mechanics always drive POS cars that you have to look at just right so it will do what you want. My grandfather owned and ran an auto shop, so I was at home in the 'Green POS' as it was called. The car had been cleaned and vacuumed so at least he was trying.

If possessions and houses and cars were my thing, DH would've had no chance. He came to me with nothing, no assets, no house, no savings, no debt. Also he has a profession that I don't particularly care for (uniforms freak me out). He moved in with his clothes, game system, and his favorite books. We've been building a life together for going on 6 years now. I don't regret my decision to choose the content over the wrapper.


Also DH has an old civic now 

Old Civics are in high demand. They have a veritable cult following.

I like it. It's got some body condition issues, but the 'bones' are good. Inside has some wear and tear. FWIW, I drive a newer civic. 

[nutty]

It's not something I even think about. I happen to have a few guys with big ass trucks lately though.

[Apple]

Cars aren't my thing.  If I see someone driving an older car, I don't bat an eye.  If anything I think "other priorities", which would actually be a bonus.  My car is 13 years old and has a lot of rust.  It's not financially worth it to me to get it all repainted, and I don't want to buy a new car, because that would cut into my vacation and "life" funds.  Besides, it's just cosmetic.

If the inside is not trashed, I'm good.  I don't date much at all, but it's never been the car/truck that turned me on or off a person.  One guy had a really nice car, but lived with his parents.  I bought my first house when I was 19, the living with the parents was a turn-off.  Another guy drove a big pickup, not new, but a crew cab so he had room for his big dog.  That was kind of awesome, that dog went pretty much everywhere with him, even dates.  

I don't mind if a guy is into cars, but if it's a "to impress people" thing more than "it's what I like" thing, we probably have different priorities.

[truthbound]

May 7, 2015 9:07:34 GMT -5 yogiii said:

May 7, 2015 9:03:23 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

Actually, millennials are more likely to not own a car at all and instead rent one when they need it. 

Because more millennials are hipsters

IT is hard to occupy when you have to keep refilling the parking meter.

[midjd]

I could see men being attracted to a beautiful blonde in a red convertible, but a jeep?

My husband is a Jeep guy, and this would definitely work on him (or his fellow enthusiasts).

Of course, the downside to using a Jeep to lure a guy is that you then end up with a Jeep lover... which is kind of like being married to a member of a very expensive cult. 

[CarolinaKat]

May 8, 2015 9:11:15 GMT -5 midjd said:

I could see men being attracted to a beautiful blonde in a red convertible, but a jeep?

My husband is a Jeep guy, and this would definitely work on him (or his fellow enthusiasts).

Of course, the downside to using a Jeep to lure a guy is that you then end up with a Jeep lover... which is kind of like being married to a member of a very expensive cult. 

I always got more male attention driving my rusty old jeep than my zippy little convertible YMMV

Was driving the Civic when I met DH, both the jeep and the convertible had bitten the dust.

[MJ2.0]

I look at it this way:
If you have a car, it should work and shouldn't be filthy. I don't care if it's old/new/luxury/economy/whatever. I also agree with Milee on most of what she said. If you think just pulling up in a Rolls Royce is gonna get you the cookie, you are sadly mistaken. 

Now if it was a bright red 1978 Pontiac GTO....



X had a 1985 Mercury Cougar when we met... super old, barely worked, but it was clean. We were both broke college students so it would be kind of unfair to expect him to have anything flashy.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I don't even remember what DH was driving, all I remember is it was a POS.

What was of more concern was how DH treated his car. He blew the headgasket by not checking his radiator and not paying attention to the warning signs. It went up with a giant fireball like the movies.

He proceeded to get another car and promptly blew the head gasket in that car. He thought taking a sports car off roading to mushroom hunt was an awesome idea. He got stuck and instead of calling for a tow figured if he floored it hard enough the car would become unstuck.

We had a talk b/c I didn't want to be with someone who doesn't take care of his stuff and treats it all as disposable. We're not made of money, we can't keep replacing cars.

He got the message and didn't destroy the truck he got next (the truck got 'totaled" when it was in a wreck. We took the deal and bought the Pontiac). He's also taking good care of the Pontiac.

It helps that he has a mechanical whiz as a FIL now.  But that still hinges on DH being responsible and reporting problems as they arise.

To me it's more important that DH recognize some things aren't disposable.   You can't treat them like crap and just go buy a new one.  It's a giant waste of money that could be going to other things like retirement or an emergency fund.

His treatment of his cars signaled to me a much deeper incompatibility issue.   It wouldn't have mattered to me if he was blowing head gaskets in BMW's or an old POS.   He shouldn't be destroying his car period.

[8 Bit WWBG]

I'd really have to think about how I'd feel now if I was dating...  I do enjoy cars to a point.  If a date had a similar like for cars, that could be a good thing.  If she had a girly Fiat or Mini with flowers, that could be good or bad depending.  There are certainly guys out there who are intimidated by successful women, and would be afraid to date someone who made more money than they do.

As a YM'er, we have our own special interpretations as well.  Yes, if she is blowing all her money on spending now (regardless of what it is) that certainly signifies an incompatibility.

But I also agree with tskeeter to an extent.  There is no doubt that people associate image with success.  I can't say whether or not it'll get you married (since as was pointed out, by that time other personality traits have come into the picture).  But I'd bet that overall, the guy who looks successful has a much easier time/greater chance getting the first date, than the scrub.

[zibazinski]

I think at this age, I might judge. I know I judged the guy I dated for a long time because he let his check engine light go on forever until his engine blew up because he was too lazy to make time to get his oil changed.   So instead of a half hour and 20 bucks, it was 3k plus.  DH is better because it's already paid for and they give him a loaner but I'm under no illusions that he would do something silly given the right set of circumstances. He's used to being the smart one but he's met his match!!