Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on May 6, 2015 19:03:40 GMT -5
I've heard it said that having a nice car is key to a successful dating life? Is this true in your experience?
It doesn't have to stop at cars though. What about house or other posessions? Do these things help in your love life?
When you date/dated/chose a spouse, did you take into consideration the quality of their car or other possessions?
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quince
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Post by quince on May 6, 2015 19:15:07 GMT -5
I guess that if my husband had a car he couldn't afford, it would have been taken into consideration? I did think the fact that he biked everywhere until he needed a car to drive cross country to relocate was kind of sexy and gave him awesome thighs, and that he bought his used car for cash, and it was over 10 years old, cosmetically lacking, but reliable?
...I also like how he doesn't spend money on items for "status" but will pay for function. Our training weapons are high quality and fairly expensive, and he bought extra to support his dojo and have loaners available. Frugal, but not even a tiny bit stingy.
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milee
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Post by milee on May 6, 2015 19:24:53 GMT -5
Depends on what you're looking for in a date. Some women definitely do want a certain level of car, house, income, whatever - you just have t decide if that's the type of person you're going to want to date.
For me, it would be more about finding someone who had things that were appropriate to their finances and also took care of those things. Examples-
If a guy were an artist and drove a 20 year old Toyota because that's what he could afford and it was worth it to him to have fewer possessions in order to be able to pursue his artistic career I wouldn't find that odd at all. Similarly, if it had paint stains from hauling around his art supplies, that would be fine. On the other hand, if it were filled with McDonald's wrappers, dirty clothes and stunk - that would be a sign we might not be compatible.
If a guy were a millionaire and drove a 20 year old Toyota for no obvious reason, I'd want to know why. If it was because he didn't like to drive, drove less than 1000 miles a year and just kept it around for emergencies, I'd think it odd but OK. If he was one of those Scrooge type stingy guys that would worry me not because I'd need his money (I have my own), but because generally I find those types to be tough to be around since they're more focused on money than people.
If a guy were a midlevel manager and drove a 20 year old Toyota because he was saving for his dream house, I'd find that attractive. If it was clean, that would be more attractive.
If a guy of any financial status drove a very expensive flashy car, I'd want to know why. If he's a car guy and that was his passion, I'd find that attractive. If he was one of those guys who just likes to show off, I'd find that a huge turn off.
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on May 6, 2015 19:25:42 GMT -5
As an 18 or 19 yo, my brother bought himself a Z28, and it got him a lot of attention, and landed him his ex-wife. I'm not sure it was a good thing, seeing how it ultimately turned out. My DH drove an old Camry when we met. As long as it was clean and not a complete piece junk, cars didn't matter to me so much. I think the cleanliness on the inside was the most important to me.
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kittensaver
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Post by kittensaver on May 6, 2015 19:27:56 GMT -5
When I was choosing DH, it was important to me that he had a reliable car, a good job with a decent paycheck that covered his expenses (was self-sufficient), and had his own place (an apartment with roommates/was not living in mommy's basement). I didn't care that those things weren't Top Drawer - we were both young at the time and it was more important that his career and personal life trajectories were in solid, rather than him trying to impress me by flaunting fancy stuff. Because he had his life in order, I knew that possibilities for us would grow over time (and I was right). I found out LATER that he had the down payment for a house in the bank .
If I had to start over (please God, no; leave DH here for several more decades ) I think I would look for the same things: proof that you are solid and have your act together - but you don't need to be rich. A quality person has little or nothing to do with the possessions they own. Sez me. YMMV.
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
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Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on May 6, 2015 19:35:16 GMT -5
His car would be low on my dating criteria. If it's a reliable vehicle in good working order, he may be investing/saving money for more important things.
If he's spending a lot on possessions for status symbols or appearances, that would be a red flag for me if the relationship had moved into the serious/exclusive stage.
I wouldn't put too much importance in their cars or possessions when still in the dating phase. There's plenty of time for marriage, and it's better to get to know the person and their spending habits & priorities for the future before making any life-changing decisions such as marriage.
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steph08
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Post by steph08 on May 6, 2015 20:34:31 GMT -5
My DH was driving a decent Toyota Tacoma when we met.
However, we met working in a cabinet factory and he came to work everyday in gym shorts and t-shirts that had holes in them.
I dated...and married...and had a child with...him anyways.
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MarleyKeezy78
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Post by MarleyKeezy78 on May 6, 2015 21:04:19 GMT -5
DH drove a very nice Ram when I met him, he traded it in less than a year later for a Civic (gas was too much $$$). I have to admit, it was sexy! I had always dated guys who drove ok cars(one or two rust buckets). I grew up in a household that drove rust buckets and I swore I would not do that to my kid if I ever had one (I don't know why it was such a source of shame for me as a child) but as an adult I have not owned a rusted out car. It doesn't matter what you drive though, just keep it clean.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on May 6, 2015 21:58:40 GMT -5
It depends: stuff would never sway me one way or another.
Why the stuff was purchased would. I wouldn't marry a spender. I'm lazy.
We were pretty broke when we were dating. One isn't going to have a nice car working 15 hours a week at the campus library earning 4.15/hour.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on May 6, 2015 22:25:22 GMT -5
The type of car didn't matter so much, but how well it was kept did.
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NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on May 6, 2015 22:40:24 GMT -5
I met xH while in college. Between us we had two bicycles. We dated married, added three more bycicle (two fo racing, one tandem) and had a kid. Still no car. While DS was an infant we used public transport or walked. Later -> on the bicycle he went. Only after we started moving abroad did we add a car and DS2 (in that order). And both kids had graduatated/was off to college before the bicycles (as well as sH) went.
I still don't like cars but wouldn't do without now. Would the type of car influence a dating decision: you betcha. Too much of a flashy car and I'm gone!
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Works4me
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Post by Works4me on May 7, 2015 1:48:20 GMT -5
I'm the wrong guy to ask. I was married at 18. I basically dated as a teen and that was it. I like to tell myself that all the good ones get snatched up first, so I must have been a fucking rock star! ETA - Now that I think about it, maybe I was out of Loop's league. I'll mention it when she gets home and get back to you. Well, it's been nice knowing you. Please tell Loop to schedule your funeral for the afternoon so that those of us from out of the area can comfortably attend.
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truthbound
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Post by truthbound on May 7, 2015 5:25:32 GMT -5
I've heard it said that having a nice car is key to a successful dating life? Is this true in your experience?
It doesn't have to stop at cars though. What about house or other posessions? Do these things help in your love life?
When you date/dated/chose a spouse, did you take into consideration the quality of their car or other possessions? I heard the same thing too. But I don't date Millennial losers who think what you own determines what you are worth.
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emma1420
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Post by emma1420 on May 7, 2015 6:56:36 GMT -5
The type of car didn't matter so much, but how well it was kept did. ICAM. if the car is clean and maintained then I couldn't care less if it's a brand new Mercedes or a 1980's dodge. Although the guys with the nicest cars, that are still single at my age, are typically douche canoes. i have one friend who freely admits his car payment is more than his mortgage payment. I'm not a fan of that, primarily because I'm not a fan of investing in a depreciating asset to that extent. I'd rather have a rental property if I've got enough money for two mortgage payments.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on May 7, 2015 7:19:46 GMT -5
I think having a clean car is more important that having an expensive car. That being said, nothing wrong with old as long as it's reliable and in good shape. As in tires are good and brakes are working. Running on fumes wouldn't set well with me, either. DH lives out of his car and it looks like it. Every so often I clean it up and out. But he's not a slob in other areas so it's all good. When we were dating 40 years ago, he always made sure his cute little mustang was clean.
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dannylion
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Post by dannylion on May 7, 2015 7:35:43 GMT -5
I am reminded of some of the young men I encountered when I was in the Air Force, the ones who spent all their money to buy a Corvette. After they had announced "I drive a 'vette" they generally didn't have much left to say because they had exhausted their entire conversational repertoire.
Don't be that guy.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on May 7, 2015 8:08:29 GMT -5
No kidding-ugh.
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justme
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Post by justme on May 7, 2015 8:51:34 GMT -5
Yes I will admit cars do affect how I see the guy. The guys that drive ricers make me roll my eyes and I have no desire to get in a car that loud or low. Same for the guys with thousands of dollars in a sound system that takes up half the car - I like my hearing and I don't think our money priorities line up. And the low riders, especially with hydraulics or whatever it's call just makes me laugh out loud. So do those garish rims.
I live in Florida so we're going to have a problem if your car doesn't have a.c. But the rust bucket beaters make me wonder about their financial health as much as really expensive cars.
Though I ain't gonna lie, it's nice to be driven around in a really nice car. FWIW all my bfs had run of the mill cars.
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on May 7, 2015 8:57:33 GMT -5
Interesting, so splurging on car washes is more important than splurging on the car itself.
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ArchietheDragon
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Post by ArchietheDragon on May 7, 2015 9:03:23 GMT -5
I've heard it said that having a nice car is key to a successful dating life? Is this true in your experience?
It doesn't have to stop at cars though. What about house or other posessions? Do these things help in your love life?
When you date/dated/chose a spouse, did you take into consideration the quality of their car or other possessions? I heard the same thing too. But I don't date Millennial losers who think what you own determines what you are worth. Actually, millennials are more likely to not own a car at all and instead rent one when they need it.
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yogiii
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Post by yogiii on May 7, 2015 9:07:34 GMT -5
I heard the same thing too. But I don't date Millennial losers who think what you own determines what you are worth. Actually, millennials are more likely to not own a car at all and instead rent one when they need it. Because more millennials are hipsters
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on May 7, 2015 9:08:57 GMT -5
Hmmmm....DH was driving Porsches when we met. It didn't hurt. Owns a Mustang now. Still has a WOW factor to it, just in a different language. But truthfully, it may not matter. A good date/potential life partner can still that good person, regardless. The car they drive may be a good indicator of where their money goes and how they prioritize spending/saving, though. If always having a hot new car matters to them, and they will buy it no matter what, it would be a red flag for me; that means they would put that want above genuine needs. If they want that hot new car, but are willing to save for it, that tells me they like that kind of toy, but not to the extent of putting it above more pressing needs.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 7, 2015 9:24:19 GMT -5
As long as it is clean & maintained (and not a rust bucket) the car is a non factor. I think the car 'expectations' probably change with age. If you are 20 and driving a rust bucket, that doesn't really matter because most everyone living on their own is broke when young. If you are 35 and driving a rust bucket I would want to know why. If you asked me to get in a SmartCar, I might think twice. They are so tiny compared to all the SUV and Trucks on the road here, I would be really scared to be on the highway in one. I think I'd offer to drive instead
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happyhoix
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Post by happyhoix on May 7, 2015 9:25:14 GMT -5
Depends on the person.
I have known women who judged a man by the car they drove. One woman only wanted a man who drove a BMW, and it had to have heated leather seats. They were looking for someone with a high income and good taste, and they assumed if a man had a nice car, he had a nice income and would provide them with the high end lifestyle they wanted.
I also knew a woman who bought a Jeep Wrangler hard top which she specifically designed to be 'man-bait' on the assumption that men would be attracted to her because they would love her car. Can't really tell how successful that was. I could see men being attracted to a beautiful blonde in a red convertible, but a jeep?
Personally I think judging someone by the car they drive is not a useful measure of their personality or character. DH had a 20 year old sedan that was falling apart when I met him. He called it "Bitch." I still married him anyway.
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Tiny
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Post by Tiny on May 7, 2015 9:54:18 GMT -5
Interesting, so splurging on car washes is more important than splurging on the car itself. Actually, it's not so much the car or how dirty outside it is... if the inside of the car is littered with TRASH (as opposed to actual stuff from maybe their hobbies or their jobs) it's a big turn off of me. I really hate sitting in the middle of a Trash Pile. I totally understand the mess that comes from small children - I'm not really talking about that - so much as the left over debris from last nights dinner (and possibly dinners from weeks ago), the endless empty (I HOPE they are empty) cups, bottles, whatever, bits of papers,broken sun glasses, and other unidentifyable stuff... you know stuff that if you were to clean out the car - there would be no doubt it was TRASH. Ok, a clean outside of the car is nice - because it means if I accidentally brush up against it my clothes won't be getting dirty.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on May 7, 2015 9:54:52 GMT -5
One of the tough lessons in life for guys to learn is that most girls really don't care much about the cars they drive. Even though (back in the day) it was a SERIOUS thing for the guy. This is very true. I loved DH's mustang from so many years ago. I don't like his Audi at all. But I do like mine! Mine is cute!!
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PK Bucko
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Post by PK Bucko on May 7, 2015 10:09:31 GMT -5
The Suburban could use a good vacuuming.
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cktc
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Post by cktc on May 7, 2015 10:15:27 GMT -5
I think things like car and clothes matter more in online dating when you only have so much time to make a good impression. Once you get to know a person that stuff ceases to be important because you have other character traits that will override whatever favorable or unfavorable impression you may get from a vehicle.
Most women just want to know that you can take care of yourself, both financially and physically. Your car is one of the first clues. So being reliable, and reasonably well kept should be enough. Some women might be looking for a man who can take care of himself +someone else, if your car hints that you can, and it isn't actually a priority, you will have to weed through some chaff. If a women doesn't care if you can take care of yourself, she is probably a financial train wreck with a couple DUIs and you should just run.
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sarcasticgirl
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Post by sarcasticgirl on May 7, 2015 10:21:40 GMT -5
Yes- My husband usually has the car. it makes it difficult for me to drive to meet dates in other places.
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wyouser
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Post by wyouser on May 7, 2015 10:30:13 GMT -5
I couldn't afford anything but a motorcycle before I graduated from high school. I was already dating my future wife when I bought it. A 1965 Chevy Biscayne 4dr with a big dent in the right rear quarterpanel. (I got $50.00 off the purchase price because of that dent) An inline 6 banger with no airconditioning and no radio! (the guys driving the babe magnets all had 55 or 57 chevys)
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