weltschmerz
Community Leader
Joined: Jul 25, 2011 13:37:39 GMT -5
Posts: 38,962
|
Post by weltschmerz on Apr 1, 2015 12:51:50 GMT -5
I keep thinking of the parenting mistakes I made with my child. However, he grew up to be a wonderful, hardworking, compassionate adult, so I must have done something right. He tells me he loves me every single day.
|
|
ArchietheDragon
Junior Associate
Joined: Jul 7, 2014 14:29:23 GMT -5
Posts: 6,380
|
Post by ArchietheDragon on Apr 1, 2015 12:57:05 GMT -5
I keep thinking of the parenting mistakes I made with my child. However, he grew up to be a wonderful, hardworking, compassionate adult, so I must have done something right. He tells me he loves me every single day. that's hot.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 11, 2024 23:29:05 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Apr 1, 2015 14:06:20 GMT -5
Hmm.... For one, I wish I would have not quit the band in 7th grade when I got braces. I played the trumpet and it was hurting so I decided to quit. And, in retrospect, I think I would have especially enjoyed marching band. I play other instruments but think the Band thing would have been fun.
I wish I would have grown out my hair long when I was younger. My mom cut it when I was a kid and I always just left it that way without much thought. DD has long hair and it is actually much more fun and versatile. Did you you put wax on your braces. That's what I did. I wasn't given the option of dropping out of band. It was a family thing and by damn, I was staying in whether I wanted to or not. I wanted to play the drums. I got the trumpet. I hate the trumpet. I suck at Taps. Should have done the trombone.
|
|
thyme4change
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 26, 2010 13:54:08 GMT -5
Posts: 40,774
|
Post by thyme4change on Apr 1, 2015 18:26:08 GMT -5
Honestly, my biggest regrets are when I was mean, or even just totally inconsiderate to other people. I didn't gain from most of those - I should have been nicer. Your honesty and openness is so freaking refreshing. I guess the mistakes that I made, I have had to live with, and they are all part of my fabric. I like where I ended up, so if I went back and monkeyed around with my study habits or self esteem or whatever, I might be somewhere completely different, and that place could easily be worse. But when I was mean to other people, that overstepped my bounds. I can mess up my life, but I shouldn't inflict others. Who knows how long people carry some of that hurt around. Hopefully everyone that I was mean to realized that I wasn't worth getting worked up about, but I carry the strangest things around with me, and I'm sure someone out there has a little scar on their heart that they don't deserve because I was insecure or just a bitch.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 11, 2024 23:29:05 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Apr 1, 2015 18:39:39 GMT -5
I regret not rocking trashy clothes when I was 18 and had the body to pull it off. I want to yell out the window every time I drive by the HS "Wait till you have children!" Trashy clothes can look good on all kinds of women.
|
|
reader79
Well-Known Member
Joined: Dec 30, 2010 8:48:07 GMT -5
Posts: 1,053
|
Post by reader79 on Apr 1, 2015 19:38:12 GMT -5
I regret not finishing school. I just was struggling with working full-time and a full class schedule, so when my financial aid got cut, I made the easy (stupid) decision to drop out. But I may go back this summer, or fall. I just have to figure out my work situation first. I regret my 401K loan. Guess who is going to owe taxes on it now
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 11, 2024 23:29:05 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Apr 1, 2015 19:54:25 GMT -5
I regret my 401K loan. Guess who is going to owe taxes on it now How did that happen- did you leave the company and not pay it back? DS wanted to take out a 401(k) loan to pay of DDIL's car loan. He decided not to when I told him it would be taxable if he left his employer and didn't pay it back within 90 days.
|
|
TheHaitian
Senior Associate
Joined: Jul 27, 2014 19:39:10 GMT -5
Posts: 10,144
|
Post by TheHaitian on Apr 1, 2015 20:07:16 GMT -5
Not trying to have kids at an earlier time/age
|
|
msventoux
Senior Member
Joined: Feb 12, 2011 22:32:37 GMT -5
Posts: 3,037
|
Post by msventoux on Apr 2, 2015 0:57:53 GMT -5
Too much existing and not enough living. I'm the boring friend who has no wild tales of youth or stupidity...always the responsible one.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 11, 2024 23:29:05 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Apr 2, 2015 1:06:37 GMT -5
Procrastinating on keeping the main things in life that made the difference, the main thing.
|
|
reader79
Well-Known Member
Joined: Dec 30, 2010 8:48:07 GMT -5
Posts: 1,053
|
Post by reader79 on Apr 2, 2015 13:11:48 GMT -5
I regret my 401K loan. Guess who is going to owe taxes on it now How did that happen- did you leave the company and not pay it back? DS wanted to take out a 401(k) loan to pay of DDIL's car loan. He decided not to when I told him it would be taxable if he left his employer and didn't pay it back within 90 days. Yes, my last day was in Feb. So it's going to be treated as an early withdrawal from what I understand. I have the cash to pay it back, but I don't have a new job yet, so....
|
|
Works4me
Senior Member
Someone responded to your personal ad - a German Shepherd named Tara wants to have you for dinner...
Joined: May 5, 2012 12:11:37 GMT -5
Posts: 2,555
|
Post by Works4me on Apr 2, 2015 13:25:32 GMT -5
My biggest regret is never having had children. I was married for five years in my early twenties and never re-married. Then at 42 I was diagnosed with lupus and made the decision to have chemo so that was that. The only peace I find from it is that I would rather regret not doing something like that in my life versus regretting having done so in a bad situation.
|
|
Peace Of Mind
Senior Associate
[font color="#8f2520"]~ Drinks Well With Others ~[/font]
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 16:53:02 GMT -5
Posts: 15,554
Location: Paradise
|
Post by Peace Of Mind on Apr 2, 2015 13:32:18 GMT -5
I think my biggest regret is that mom died before we got back to being the best of friends again. But then I wonder, had she not changed back to who she was, could it have ended horribly? I'm glad it didn't end horribly so that's good. My entire life is a catch 22!
|
|
swamp
Community Leader
THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 16:03:22 GMT -5
Posts: 45,622
|
Post by swamp on Apr 2, 2015 13:38:44 GMT -5
I regret not rocking trashy clothes when I was 18 and had the body to pull it off.
I regret not liking myself earlier, and not realizing how hot I was.
|
|
shanendoah
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 19:44:48 GMT -5
Posts: 10,096
Mini-Profile Name Color: 0c3563
|
Post by shanendoah on Apr 2, 2015 15:01:23 GMT -5
I have some "what ifs" in my life about paths not taken, but not really many regrets. I love where I am in my life and with my family, so I don't really regret anything that brought me here.
Like thyme4change, most of what I honestly regret is how I handled certain situations. The outcome wouldn't have been any different, but things didn't have to be so difficult, I didn't have to be so focused on myself to not see how others were affected. Being nicer to either of my step-parents would not have hurt anyone. Calling my grandfather more often would have just made an old man a little happier.
I'd like to say I regret losing my scholarship when I was in college, but honestly, if there was one part of my life I could go back to and live over, just the way it was, it would be those first couple of years of college.
|
|
Tired Tess
Well-Known Member
I'm so ready to wrap it up.
Joined: Jan 16, 2011 8:47:41 GMT -5
Posts: 1,313
|
Post by Tired Tess on Apr 6, 2015 11:52:17 GMT -5
All my life I've heard the expression "playing the game" and I truly didn't know what it meant. People would say they weren't game players, or would accuse others of being a game player and I would just nod and listen.
Then the light bulb went off. My MIL said to me, "well you know how the game is played. You go along to get along." and I swear the fog was lifted from my brain.
Now I do that quite a bit. I don't agree with you, I smile and sympathize. It makes me look good, as if I care, and I get invited to the pool party.
I totally ask my boss the right questions about her life, I fake concern. She gives grunt work to the other secretaries.
I wonder how many school friendships were formed this way? I was true to myself and very lonely. For years at work I had no work friends because if I was asked for an opinion I told my honest one. I didn't agree with the big fishes so I got tossed to the sharks.
Now, I have a wonderful family, Friends that, for the most part, see things the same way. We are there for each other. We have the same issues, We truly are a support system. When we disagree they don't ignore me as if I were a weirdo; we just agree to disagree and learn from each other. We also laugh alot.
"Go along to get along." Who knew?
|
|
GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
Senior Associate
"How you win matters." Ender, Ender's Game
Joined: Jan 2, 2011 13:33:09 GMT -5
Posts: 11,291
|
Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on Apr 6, 2015 21:34:26 GMT -5
I'm not really the type who engages in woulda/coulda/shoulda kind of thinking. But, I do regret not having more confidence in my parenting and my own knowledge of my children when they were in elementary school. ODS was in Special Ed for 10 years. While there are many, many gifted and compassionate folks working in Special Ed, I, unfortunately and unwittingly, placed ODS in programs that were staffed and run by unethical slimeballs. It cost ODS dearly -- and still does to this day. Eventually, I found my balls and spoke up and called them on their crap. They retaliated with bullying and intimidation and exclusion. I called in the police (who believed me!). I became a "threat" to the district's way of doing things, so so-called "friends" kept their distance. In time, we moved out of town -- to a new town with wonderful, genuinely kind people who we are honored to call friends. We made the choice to not seek an IEP for ODS in the new town, instead paying for services and tutoring out of our own pocket, and he has thrived and succeeded in ways his old school district never envisioned. Sadly, much of the turmoil in our old town was targeted at YDS (because to target ODS would only bolster my case). I believe some of the trauma still lingers for him and I've struggled with how to explain the situation to him without increasing his pain. I was new to parenting. My own mother was gone, as was my MIL. There were no experienced, trusted, mothers to bounce concerns off of or to gather reassurance from. So, for years, I believed the outright, nasty, lies that school folks wrote in my son's Progress Reports and IEP. Until I finally saw through their lies and found a loud, clear voice to speak up and correct the record for ODS. So, long story short, the one regret I have in life is that I didn't see through the bullpoop sooner and save my children years of unnecessary drama and trauma. If there is any silver lining, it is that I am wiser for it all and no longer automatically bestow my faith and trust in school folks. They simply have too many hidden agendas and too much self-interest. I am courteous and pleasant. But, I am now a proud mother bear and they created the problem.
|
|
Jaguar
Administrator
Fear does not stop death. It stops life.
Joined: Dec 20, 2011 6:07:45 GMT -5
Posts: 50,108
Mini-Profile Background: {"image":"https://cdn.nickpic.host/images/IZlZ65.jpg","color":""}
Mini-Profile Text Color: 290066
|
Post by Jaguar on Apr 6, 2015 21:40:03 GMT -5
I'm not really the type who engages in woulda/coulda/shoulda kind of thinking. But, I do regret not having more confidence in my parenting and my own knowledge of my children when they were in elementary school. ODS was in Special Ed for 10 years. While there are many, many gifted and compassionate folks working in Special Ed, I, unfortunately and unwittingly, placed ODS in programs that were staffed and run by unethical slimeballs. It cost ODS dearly -- and still does to this day. Eventually, I found my balls and spoke up and called them on their crap. They retaliated with bullying and intimidation and exclusion. I called in the police (who believed me!). I became a "threat" to the district's way of doing things, so so-called "friends" kept their distance. In time, we moved out of town -- to a new town with wonderful, genuinely kind people who we are honored to call friends. We made the choice to not seek an IEP for ODS in the new town, instead paying for services and tutoring out of our own pocket, and he has thrived and succeeded in ways his old school district never envisioned. Sadly, much of the turmoil in our old town was targeted at YDS (because to target ODS would only bolster my case). I believe some of the trauma still lingers for him and I've struggled with how to explain the situation to him without increasing his pain. I was new to parenting. My own mother was gone, as was my MIL. There were no experienced, trusted, mothers to bounce concerns off of or to gather reassurance from. So, for years, I believed the outright, nasty, lies that school folks wrote in my son's Progress Reports and IEP. Until I finally saw through their lies and found a loud, clear voice to speak up and correct the record for ODS. So, long story short, the one regret I have in life is that I didn't see through the bullpoop sooner and save my children years of unnecessary drama and trauma. If there is any silver lining, it is that I am wiser for it all and no longer automatically bestow my faith and trust in school folks. They simply have too many hidden agendas and too much self-interest. I am courteous and pleasant. But, I am now a proud mother bear and they created the problem. Go get em' Tiger !!!
|
|