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Post by Deleted on Mar 2, 2015 12:31:06 GMT -5
Those people, I still don't answer the phone for them a lot of times. They've learned that if they really want something specific, it's best to text me. I'll respond to that but I probably won't answer a call. I still think dating is a different kind of situation. I'm not against texting, it's actually more convenient in some circumstances. I just don't think it should completely replace conversations when you're getting to know someone. You still get the conversations when you are out on dates. Texting just allows another aspect of communication. Now I don't have to call to say I'm on my way. I can still chat when in an environment where I would never make a call, like when at work or on a bus. Also, it allows me to talk about stuff when my kids are present that I can't say in front of them. Like this weekend I vented about my ex to my BF, but I certainly would not have wanted the kids to overhear what I was saying, so I opted to text. Those are what I would consider circumstances where it's more convenient to text. But that's also your BF, who you know well enough to call him your BF. If I'm communicating regularly with someone that I'm just getting to know, I don't want that communication to be limited to texting. I'm not hanging out all the time with someone I just met, but that doesn't have to mean we can't have conversations between dates. His conversation might make me decide I don't even want to go on a date with him. But that's just me.
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Mar 2, 2015 13:38:14 GMT -5
You still get the conversations when you are out on dates. Texting just allows another aspect of communication. Now I don't have to call to say I'm on my way. I can still chat when in an environment where I would never make a call, like when at work or on a bus. Also, it allows me to talk about stuff when my kids are present that I can't say in front of them. Like this weekend I vented about my ex to my BF, but I certainly would not have wanted the kids to overhear what I was saying, so I opted to text. and I understand all that... and I do text in those circumstances. I'm talking about if I'm alone not doing anything, and the person I'm texting with is alone and not doing anything, then wouldn't a call just be easier? I guess in those circumstances I would want to talk. I just rarely run into that in my personal life anymore. I work full time & have 3 kids...He works 1 full time job & 1 part time job & has 3 kids. I think the only time we've really done the phone things is when he has been out of town for work & then my kids really need to be in bed. My kids tend wait until I am on the phone & then choose that opportunity to run around screaming until someone gets hurt.
This is how rarely we talked on the phone in the beginning of the relationship - he called one time when I was at a party & I excused myself from the room to answer because I thought something must be wrong simply because he was calling. Normally I never would answer in those circumstances, but I really thought it might be an emergency simply because he never calls out of the blue.
I guess I can't really comment on what is normal for dating. My entire existence is no longer what I would consider normal.
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Mar 2, 2015 13:45:42 GMT -5
and I understand all that... and I do text in those circumstances. I'm talking about if I'm alone not doing anything, and the person I'm texting with is alone and not doing anything, then wouldn't a call just be easier? I guess in those circumstances I would want to talk. I just rarely run into that in my personal life anymore. I work full time & have 3 kids...He works 1 full time job & 1 part time job & has 3 kids. I think the only time we've really done the phone things is when he has been out of town for work & then my kids really need to be in bed. My kids tend wait until I am on the phone & then choose that opportunity to run around screaming until someone gets hurt.
This is how rarely we talked on the phone in the beginning of the relationship - he called one time when I was at a party & I excused myself from the room to answer because I thought something must be wrong simply because he was calling. Normally I never would answer in those circumstances, but I really thought it might be an emergency simply because he never calls out of the blue.
I guess I can't really comment on what is normal for dating. My entire existence is no longer what I would consider normal.
Brady Bunch, much? But yeah, I understand completely where you're coming from. I just think it's odd that calling is seen as not the norm anymore. And damn, I don't know how you have time to breathe with 3 kids, let alone date!
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Post by Deleted on Mar 2, 2015 13:58:16 GMT -5
It's interesting because the people I used to talk to on the phone with all the time before texting came along, (mainly my Mom and first ex) I will still call now. They both are techno geeks so it's not like they don't text, but 90% of my phone calls are to those two people. Second ex we always texted from the start and I honestly don't think I've had more than an hour or two total on the phone with him in the past 8 years.
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CarolinaKat
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Post by CarolinaKat on Mar 5, 2015 13:17:15 GMT -5
I feel like we're going to get to a point where people don't know how to have conversations with actual human beings anymore. Sure I don't mind texting, but if it's just me and that person talking for hours, it's sooooo much easier to just talk. We have gotten to that point! Have you tried holding a conversation with anybody under the age of 30? Oh wait...never mind :-P. I'm going to go bitch about kids kicking their ball in our yard now... *goes to get a ball to kick into Ratchets's yard*
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8 Bit WWBG
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Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Mar 5, 2015 13:42:13 GMT -5
Great topic!
I think texting has its place, and I'm OK with having conversations by text to a point. If its someone I already know, thats fine. Sometimes I re-read old texts and they make me smile. It can build anticipation, even -- especially if you are having the conversation secretly like during a meeting or something.
A prolonged text conversation in a scenario with high-detail, time-sensitivity grates on me to no end. I can talk much faster than I can type, and if I have to ask a lot of questions to get the information I need, I'd rather do that verbally.
I guess it also depends on whether the other person is an equal contributor too. Conversations over text or instant message lose their appeal if you are writing meaningful thoughts and all you get is a "heh" or a "kewl".
I also wonder if some people are that committed to retaining control. A text can be used selfishly to send out your piece, but then ignore what comes back.
I'm also noticing that some people are incapable of being idle even for a few seconds, and whip out phones. I watch people at work walk the halls like zombies, with their eyes on down and phones in their hands. Naturally, I'm the jerk if I run into them. Good grief people, I know its a long corridor, but are you that bored you can't walk it without checking status updates? Or maybe you just want to prove you are so efficient, you don't even waste your walking time?
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Bob Ross
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Post by Bob Ross on Mar 5, 2015 17:09:50 GMT -5
But damn, I drove 2 hours to see your ass Now that sounds like an ass worth seeing. Was it round? Was it like BAM in your face! If not, why not?
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jkapp
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Post by jkapp on Mar 7, 2015 9:32:16 GMT -5
I only really see people talking on the phone when they drive...otherwise they are just constantly typing away with their thumbs.
People suck, that's my motto
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jkapp
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Post by jkapp on Mar 7, 2015 9:36:43 GMT -5
MJ, I totally agree with you. I think the coming of the digital age has meant the loss of the true social age. We are losing the art of face to face conversation (and don't even get me started on the art of letter writing) because it's easier not to talk to other humans and have to see them and tell them things we'd rather not tell them. Hook ups and break ups are so much simpler to do now. Just a few lines of text, and there's nothing personal about any it. You never see the tears and never hear the "Whys?" Not even just letter-writing...I can't understand some people's emails sometimes. I'll get an email at work with just a bunch of random letters: GTG MTG T2 CU K?
ANd I just have to email back with, "What the f' is that?"
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ZaireinHD
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Post by ZaireinHD on Mar 7, 2015 14:02:55 GMT -5
in my area - the answer is yes - people do talk on the phone you can also catch them in the background on the news talking on their cell if we are only speaking personal phone calls businesses definitely of course
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Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Mar 7, 2015 21:07:45 GMT -5
If people actually did pick up the phone and talk into it, it would take less than 1/2 the time of texting.
I'd rather just have the conversation, or make plans in one session (which would probably take less than 5 minutes - instead of the back & forth keying in a message, sending, waiting for a reply, having to pick up phone, read it, and then text back. What an effing waste of time.
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Mar 12, 2015 6:57:52 GMT -5
If people actually did pick up the phone and talk into it, it would take less than 1/2 the time of texting.
I'd rather just have the conversation, or make plans in one session (which would probably take less than 5 minutes - instead of the back & forth keying in a message, sending, waiting for a reply, having to pick up phone, read it, and then text back. What an effing waste of time. Besides all that has already been said, it seems to me that a text message, is for a message. It isn't called text conversation! If you want to have a conversation with me, call me. Why is it that 'your' question/text to me, is so important, requires an immediate answer/reply from me. But my reply/question doesn't get the same attention from you. Meh. Maybe you'll answer in a couple of hours, maybe not. -Thanks. I also have an issue with those on-line "chat" support things/people. On occasion, they can be great. But I hate it when I'm trying to describe my problem, typing it out, and I get 3 messages that interrupt me, asking if I'm still there, or if I need additional help. Really? I didn't interrupt you. And if you would stop interrupting me, I could finish writing my answer, so we could move on. Are on-line customer support agents, helping 3-4 (?) people, all at the same time? That's what it seems like to me. You: ask question Wait 8-15 mins for agent to reply, although screen says agent is typing. You stare at blank screen, in case reply comes. Finally agent's response comes through, but it doesn't answer question. Just welcomes you. Then asks you to describe your problem again. You furiously type away, restating the reason for your contact. Before you can finish, a message comes from the agent, asking if you are still there. Now you have to start over again. Finally you finish and press send. The screen comes to life., telling you the agent is typing their reply. So you wait. The typing stops. Still you wait. After several long minutes of staring at your computer screen, it comes back to life again, saying the agent is typing. You get message, consisting of one or two brief sentences, that still don't address the reason you contacted them. They ask you for your model number or something, so that they can look it up and give you the proper information. While you are trying to locate the model number and serial number, (about 30 seconds after asking for them), you start getting messages from the agent again, asking if there is anything else they can help you with. Each time they do, you have to start from scratch, on your reply. Doesn't their screen tell them you are typing, like it does when they are typing? You haven't stopped. You didn't go on break, or help other customers, while they waited (even though you think that's what they did to you). Now, once again, you have to start over. Entering that 40 digit number etc. Just about them, you lose your internet connection. No one calls you back and you didn't get the first agent's name. So you have to start the whole thing over again, with someone else. UGH! I wouldn't get very far in the dating world, if they couldn't be bothered to pick up the phone and call me. People can be so rude and narcissistic.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Mar 12, 2015 7:47:09 GMT -5
If texting becomes a conversation I just pick up the phone. If you prefer that form of communication I would do that and let it weed out those who you're less compatible with. Grain of salt--I'd never date again if I became single, so likely wouldn't be a problem for me.
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