MJ2.0
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Joined: Jul 24, 2014 10:27:09 GMT -5
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Post by MJ2.0 on Feb 25, 2015 8:13:09 GMT -5
thanks guys. I also talked to my mom for a bit afterward. Then I ate a big glazed sticky bun, sat in bed, and watched Downton Abbey and some other shows on Netflix for a few hours. Later that night I did go on a date. I didn't plan for it to be yesterday specifically, but it was scheduled and rescheduled twice already so I just sucked it up and went. Turns out that was exactly what I needed - not to be on a date specifically, but to just eat, drink, and laugh with someone. (Yes, it went well ) I'm going to PA this weekend to visit some girlfriends and my mom, so I'm looking forward to that. In about two weeks I'll be going to Orlando for a few days to escape this stupidly cold and dreary weather. The one thing I've learned from everything I've been through in the last 2 years is that my list of things I would "never" do is slowly shrinking. There are some pretty standard things I'd never do (kill someone on purpose, molest/abuse a child, etc.) but a lot of things in life fall into a grey area. A lot of what people "would" and "wouldn't" do really depends on the circumstances and their frame of mind. Saying that, I really don't know what will happen with XH and me. We may stay apart, we may eventually get back together after we've worked on ourselves for a while - I'm not ruling anything out. But I know right now we need to be apart. We'll all be okay eventually, but eventually is pretty far away at the moment.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 25, 2015 8:35:13 GMT -5
thanks guys. I also talked to my mom for a bit afterward. Then I ate a big glazed sticky bun, sat in bed, and watched Downton Abbey and some other shows on Netflix for a few hours. Later that night I did go on a date. I didn't plan for it to be yesterday specifically, but it was scheduled and rescheduled twice already so I just sucked it up and went. Turns out that was exactly what I needed - not to be on a date specifically, but to just eat, drink, and laugh with someone. (Yes, it went well ) I'm going to PA this weekend to visit some girlfriends and my mom, so I'm looking forward to that. In about two weeks I'll be going to Orlando for a few days to escape this stupidly cold and dreary weather. The one thing I've learned from everything I've been through in the last 2 years is that my list of things I would "never" do is slowly shrinking. There are some pretty standard things I'd never do (kill someone on purpose, molest/abuse a child, etc.) but a lot of things in life fall into a grey area. A lot of what people "would" and "wouldn't" do really depends on the circumstances and their frame of mind. Saying that, I really don't know what will happen with XH and me. We may stay apart, we may eventually get back together after we've worked on ourselves for a while - I'm not ruling anything out. But I know right now we need to be apart. We'll all be okay eventually, but eventually is pretty far away at the moment. Amen to that.
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justme
Senior Associate
Joined: Feb 10, 2012 13:12:47 GMT -5
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Post by justme on Feb 25, 2015 9:33:31 GMT -5
I probably shouldn't tell you it's gonna to be dreary here the next four days raining? Monday looks nice though...back to our usual winter weather in the 80s. So hopefully you're coming then.
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cael
Junior Associate
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Post by cael on Feb 25, 2015 9:33:53 GMT -5
MJ!
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NoNamePerson
Distinguished Associate
Is There Anybody OUT There?
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Member is Online
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Post by NoNamePerson on Feb 25, 2015 9:57:32 GMT -5
thanks guys. I also talked to my mom for a bit afterward. Then I ate a big glazed sticky bun, sat in bed, and watched Downton Abbey and some other shows on Netflix for a few hours. Later that night I did go on a date. I didn't plan for it to be yesterday specifically, but it was scheduled and rescheduled twice already so I just sucked it up and went. Turns out that was exactly what I needed - not to be on a date specifically, but to just eat, drink, and laugh with someone. (Yes, it went well ) I'm going to PA this weekend to visit some girlfriends and my mom, so I'm looking forward to that. In about two weeks I'll be going to Orlando for a few days to escape this stupidly cold and dreary weather. The one thing I've learned from everything I've been through in the last 2 years is that my list of things I would "never" do is slowly shrinking. There are some pretty standard things I'd never do (kill someone on purpose, molest/abuse a child, etc.) but a lot of things in life fall into a grey area. A lot of what people "would" and "wouldn't" do really depends on the circumstances and their frame of mind. Saying that, I really don't know what will happen with XH and me. We may stay apart, we may eventually get back together after we've worked on ourselves for a while - I'm not ruling anything out. But I know right now we need to be apart. We'll all be okay eventually, but eventually is pretty far away at the moment. Change that list to a list of things I will/need/can do. Focus on the positive things ahead for you.
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MB-NY
Senior Member
DOH!
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 20:48:03 GMT -5
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Post by MB-NY on Feb 25, 2015 12:04:06 GMT -5
MJ; it's been a really long time since we chatted, and I don't post too often in this section, but I just had to say something. I can't add anything to what's already been said, but I did want to wish you all the best. I went through this too over 30 years ago, and I was sure at that time, I was done with relationships. Then I met the current DW, and I was proved wrong. We dated for two years, and have now been married almost another 27 years. I'm not saying rush out and grab someone, but it proves life will go on.
That's all I wanted to say. Take care of yourself, treat yourself to something now and again, and I know you'll be just fine.
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Feb 25, 2015 15:39:03 GMT -5
But if someone hot and grab-worthy comes along, by all means latch on for a bit. You can always let go when you've worn him out.
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Jaguar
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Fear does not stop death. It stops life.
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Post by Jaguar on Feb 25, 2015 15:44:43 GMT -5
Just take it one day at a time, hon. Much love and peace to you.
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sapphire12
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Post by sapphire12 on Feb 25, 2015 18:40:49 GMT -5
Sorry you are going through this but, I don' think you made this decision easily. It will get better in time. Celebrate a new beginning.Your son is evidence that all was not bad. Take care of yourself.
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weltschmerz
Community Leader
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Post by weltschmerz on Feb 25, 2015 23:48:21 GMT -5
Hang in there! The first time my ex and I split up, I was devastated. I was an absolute mess. I jumped at the chance to get back together again. It lasted about 2 years, and it wasn't pretty. The same problems came back with a vengeance. People really don't change that much. When I left again, it was the best decision of my life. It was truly liberating. You'll be OK. One day at a time, going forward. Leave the past in your rear-view mirror. Learn from it, but don't yearn for it.
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Knee Deep in Water Chloe
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Post by Knee Deep in Water Chloe on Feb 26, 2015 0:08:19 GMT -5
And I feel like the shittiest person to walk the earth. I've felt that way too. It took a few years for me to get over it. I would imagine it takes longer for those of us who have to co-parent because we have to interact still. Is the co-parenting going okay?
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MJ2.0
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Joined: Jul 24, 2014 10:27:09 GMT -5
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Post by MJ2.0 on Feb 26, 2015 8:49:49 GMT -5
it's going alright. We can still talk to one another civilly so that really helps. He is DS's favorite so that still sucks, but it's getting better each time I pick him up from preschool (he only whines for Daddy a little bit instead of full blown crying now).
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