I am going to be a grandmother!

[Deleted]

Ok, I am already a grandmother X eight.  So this makes nine ... five for my daughter (0,2,4,7, and 9 when this one is born.). My son will have 2, 3, 9, and 11.

I am stunned although I am happy for my daughter and her family.  She makes having kids look easy.  And they can afford them.  She did say, though, that the private school her kids attend allow the fifth one to be free.  Way to be a good YMer!

Mostly, I am worried.  

[Jaguar]

Awesome and congrats !

[Artemis Windsong]

[mmhmm]

Wow! Congratulations, but why are you worried? Is something not right somewhere?

[Deleted]

I am worried because of her age.  She will be 38 years old.  That is pushing it for a problem like Down syndrome.  And what if something happens to her or them?  It is one thing to arrange a guardian for two kids in addition to someone's own.  Five kids?

It will be fine.  I just worry.

[Formerly SK]

[taz157]

Feb 7, 2015 21:41:23 GMT -5 Artemis Windsong said:

Yeah that!

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

Congrats on being a grandma x 9 soon. Wishing a comfortable & uncomplicated pregnancy for your DD, and a happy, healthy baby in a few months.

[teen persuasion]

Feb 7, 2015 21:54:16 GMT -5 @southernsusana said:

I am worried because of her age.  She will be 38 years old.  That is pushing it for a problem like Down syndrome.  And what if something happens to her or them?  It is one thing to arrange a guardian for two kids in addition to someone's own.  Five kids?

It will be fine.  I just worry.

I was a few weeks shy of 38 when I had DS5, and I was a bit concerned about risks for things like Down's Syndrome, too.  But it is not like you turn 35 and suddenly odds are against you, it is just that odds gradually creep up each year.  Actually, my doctor told me that having a baby at older ages (naturally conceived) is a good sign of general health and correlates to a longer lifespan.  I'm hoping that means I've got good genes - my grandmother had my mom at age 42, and her youngest child (number 9) at age 46!

Congrats!

[mmhmm]

Feb 7, 2015 21:54:16 GMT -5 @southernsusana said:

I am worried because of her age.  She will be 38 years old.  That is pushing it for a problem like Down syndrome.  And what if something happens to her or them?  It is one thing to arrange a guardian for two kids in addition to someone's own.  Five kids?

It will be fine.  I just worry.

Ahh. I do understand. She's a bit older but not so much as to be in the real danger zone. Just on the edge. I can understand your concern, though. Hugs!

[Deleted]

Feb 7, 2015 22:08:38 GMT -5 teen persuasion said:

Feb 7, 2015 21:54:16 GMT -5 @southernsusana said:

I am worried because of her age.  She will be 38 years old.  That is pushing it for a problem like Down syndrome.  And what if something happens to her or them?  It is one thing to arrange a guardian for two kids in addition to someone's own.  Five kids?

It will be fine.  I just worry.

I was a few weeks shy of 38 when I had DS5, and I was a bit concerned about risks for things like Down's Syndrome, too.  But it is not like you turn 35 and suddenly odds are against you, it is just that odds gradually creep up each year.  Actually, my doctor told me that having a baby at older ages (naturally conceived) is a good sign of general health and correlates to a longer lifespan.  I'm hoping that means I've got good genes - my grandmother had my mom at age 42, and her youngest child (number 9) at age 46!

Congrats!

I will hope the same thing.  DH tried to make me feel better by reminding me this isn't her first child at this age.  She was over 35 when her last child was born.

it will be fine.  Silly as it seems, I worry just as much about what will happen to her kids if something happens to her.  That may seem silly but her ex-SIL died suddenly from an asthma attack.  Her BIL was a druggie.  None of the grandparents wanted to take custody, and my daughter was trying to figure out if they could.  The mom's parents finally stepped up because they didn't want the kids to change schools.  (The kids were 15 and 17.). 

My daughter has said her other BIL and SIL will be guardians.  And yet they weren't willing to step up for the other two kids?  They are childless, by the way.  I am just not impressed.  I think my son and DIL would, but NINE kids?

 This isn't a new worry.  I worried when my daughter had her third and fourth child.  

[teen persuasion]

Feb 7, 2015 22:36:39 GMT -5 @southernsusana said:

Feb 7, 2015 22:08:38 GMT -5 teen persuasion said:

I was a few weeks shy of 38 when I had DS5, and I was a bit concerned about risks for things like Down's Syndrome, too.  But it is not like you turn 35 and suddenly odds are against you, it is just that odds gradually creep up each year.  Actually, my doctor told me that having a baby at older ages (naturally conceived) is a good sign of general health and correlates to a longer lifespan.  I'm hoping that means I've got good genes - my grandmother had my mom at age 42, and her youngest child (number 9) at age 46!

Congrats!

I will hope the same thing.  DH tried to make me feel better by reminding me this isn't her first child at this age.  She was over 35 when her last child was born.

it will be fine.  Silly as it seems, I worry just as much about what will happen to her kids if something happens to her.  That may seem silly but her ex-SIL died suddenly from an asthma attack.  Her BIL was a druggie.  None of the grandparents wanted to take custody, and my daughter was trying to figure out if they could.  The mom's parents finally stepped up because they didn't want the kids to change schools.  (The kids were 15 and 17.). 

My daughter has said her other BIL and SIL will be guardians.  And yet they weren't willing to step up for the other two kids?  They are childless, by the way.  I am just not impressed.  I think my son and DIL would, but NINE kids?

 This isn't a new worry.  I worried when my daughter had her third and fourth child.  

Yes, DH and I have had the fun of trying to figure out who might take in our five.  And if tables were turned, would we take our sibs' kids?  Honestly, it would depend on the sibling and their kids.  I'd take my sister's boys in a heartbeat, but some of the others?  That'd be a tougher decision.  Ultimately we'd always take them in to be sure they had a home, but we'd be relieved if someone else wanted to take them.  So, sometimes it does depend.

[Deleted]

I was 41 when my second was born.  I love my doctor.  He never was concerned about my age and made sure I didn't worry too.  I remember once he said, "yeah, your odds are 10X higher of having a baby with Downs than they were when you were 21, but they're still less than 1%, so I'm betting things will be just fine". 

[zibazinski]

I know a 31 year old with 2 healthy boys who tried for that girl one more time and got another boy WITH downs. It's rare but age isn't always a factor. She can be tested of course. Funny enough because of her the ob groups lowered their testing from 35 to 33. Still wouldn't have caught hers, though.

[suesinfl]

Congrats!! I think it is natural that we (mothers) worry about our children when they are having children of their own. I'm sure she will be fine, like others have said she is just at the border line age.

[alabamagal]

Congrats on the news. Now you will have a whoe baseball team!

Feb 8, 2015 2:10:52 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

I was 41 when my second was born.  I love my doctor.  He never was concerned about my age and made sure I didn't worry too.  I remember once he said, "yeah, your odds are 10X higher of having a baby with Downs than they were when you were 21, but they're still less than 1%, so I'm betting things will be just fine". 

Risks are higher for older moms, but a LOT of holders moms have healthy babies.

[Happy prose]

Congratulations, and much health to all! I can understand worrying...my DD is 23, not married yet. If she were to have children, I'd be a wreck. I'm one of those people that worry about every aspect of her life! Lol

[Deleted]

Feb 8, 2015 10:26:29 GMT -5 @tbird said:

congrats!











Have you started up that 529 yet?

Lol.

[travelnut11]

As a soon-to-be first time mom at 38 I actually find my age to be an advantage in many ways because the doctors skip all the crappy tests with high false positive rates and go straight to the good ones with better accuracy.  And as a bonus because of my age they're covered by insurance.  Amnio is rarely done anymore and usually only if they detect an issue in a prior screening test.  The test for chromosomal abnormalities is now a simple blood draw on the mother and has accuracy rates in the 95-99% range.  Also, I get sent to the hospital for Level 2 ultrasounds right off the bat which are more accurate and more detailed than the regular ultrasounds done on younger women.

I found it amusing that everyone thinks the minute you turn 35 everything goes to hell.  It's an arbitrary cut-off chosen by doctors a million years ago and while in fact the risks do increase as we get older it's on a smoother curve and the risks are actually still quite small.  Down syndrome rates in a 38 year-old are about .5%.   So 99.5% chance of a healthy baby.  Even at 45 it's still over a 95% chance of a healthy baby which are still great odds in my eyes. 

[zibazinski]

I'm always glad to see intelligent people having large families. Better than the alternative. Although between us, DH and I have 5 kids but still only 4 grandchildren. Because the 2 are from his EX and she had them in her teens so they have reproduced. We are curious as to how bio grandchildren, if we have any, turn out. I'll be a nervous Nellie if DD or a wife to DS have them so I'll be right there with the OP.

[Lizard Queen]

I like to see intelligent people have kids as well. It seems too many of them opt for no kids.

As far as age is concerned, I was 37 when I had my first and 40 for my second.  No problems with them other than being...hmm, how should I say this?...kind of naughty. . I keep trying to convince DH that if we had a girl, she would be good (like I was  ), but he's having none of it. 

[zibazinski]

[giramomma]

I was AMA (advanced maternal age) for my third kid. Honestly, I did just fine.

The only thing that I noticed is that I couldn't handle not sleeping like I could when I was 20.

I'm happy for you, and a little jealous. I would have loved to have another child. It's not in the cards for us, for many reasons.

I'm sure everything will go great!

[Wisconsin Beth]

I had our first at 38 and 2nd at 39 so I too got bumped straight into the AMA with more tests and U/S.  When we did the tests for my son (the younger of the 2), they said I had the eggs of a 20 something.  I have no idea how they reached that conclusion but it was flattering somehow to hear. 

DH and I didn't want more kids - he didn't think we could/should afford more and I didn't like the odds for being pregnant after 40.  If the kids had been born a few years earlier, I may have had serious discussions with him about a 3rd. 

My older brother and sister have kids in the same time frame, roughly 7 years.  It was always understood that they'd take each others' kids if anything happened.  My younger sister has made it clear that if anything happens to us, she's taking our 2.  Her 3 are teenagers now.  We need to get that legally in place though. 

[Wisconsin Beth]

Oh and Congratulations!  Best wishes for an easy pregnancy and a happy and healthy baby at the end. 

[CarolinaKat]

Feb 7, 2015 21:54:16 GMT -5 @southernsusana said:

I am worried because of her age.  She will be 38 years old.  That is pushing it for a problem like Down syndrome.  And what if something happens to her or them?  It is one thing to arrange a guardian for two kids in addition to someone's own.  Five kids?

It will be fine.  I just worry.

My cousin had her 4th a few months after she turned 40. Everyone was fine. As for who would take the kids if something happened? Her sister would, or DH and I would. Yes, there are 4 of them, but they are family and we'd make it work somehow.

[siralynn]

The new old pregnant lady blood testing is pretty cool too. They draw some of your blood at 10 weeks, pull fetal DNA out of it, and you get your screening results a week or two later. As a PP said, amnio is pretty rare these days.

Someone told me once that 35 became the AMA cutoff because that's the point where the risk of birth defects becomes higher than the risk of miscarriage from having an amnio.

Congratulations!!