Women in 40's, talk to me about aging.

[moneymom]

I am in my early 40's.  I look like crap and feel like crap more often lately.  The biggest changes are:  huge bags under my eyes, dark circles and it looks almost like snake skin, heavily increased grey hair, weight gain, and muscle/joint aches after sitting for a bit.  

My question is, does this seem normal for aging in early 40's??  I almost feel like I'm going to enter midlife crisis!  If you have these issues, what do you do to try to improve things?  I never thought I'd consider botox but after my daughter imitated me today by pulling her skin under her eyes out, I think I may consider it.  Ugh.

[zibazinski]

You shouldn't feel that bad that early or at all. Get thee to a doctor and get some blood work done. I'm almost 60 and I feel and look great. Yes, I've got grey, well white actually, so I do color my hair but other than that, I'm a happy camper as far as my health and looks. Are you taking vitamins? Drinking water? Getting enough rest?

[resolution]

I am 45. My grey hair accelerated quite a bit at 40 and I have to follow a 6 week schedule at the salon to maintain my hair color. I also had to pretty much double the exercise I was doing to stop gaining weight. It is much more of a struggle to lose it than when I was in my 30s. Other than that things seem mostly the same.

I agree its a good idea to go to the doctor for a check up. The issue with your eyes sounds more like stress and lack of sleep than aging.

[msventoux]

I haven't hit 40 yet, but I've been going grey since my 20's and it's really ramped up the last couple of years. I should start coloring it.  I've also gained some weight, but that's because of bad habits and letting the emotional upheaval of the last couple of years get to me. 

A doctor's visit wouldn't hurt.  I realized a year or so ago that my eating habits weren't the greatest and that my complete lethargy could be caused in great part by unhealthy eating habits and nutritional deficiencies.  A friend got the results from her blood work back and she was very low on vitamin D and iron.  I realized that was probably part of my problem as well and started taking supplements.  Since then I haven't felt so exhausted, which in turn allowed me to be more active, which led to me feeling better overall. 

I'm still not as active as I'd like to be, but I'm working on it.  Now I'm just battling my innate laziness rather than the overwhelming feelings of complete exhaustion brought on by nutritional and vitamin deficiencies. 

[Deleted]

Do an elimination diet. We become sensitive to more foods as we age.

Thyroid check is a good idea too, but I'd do elimination and maybe see a holistic doc first. 

[swamp]

I color my hair and work out regularly. I also make sure I get enough sleep amd drink a lot of water. 

I have arthritis and a herniated disk. If I don't keep moving, I hurt more. 

[Shooby]

I think part of it is accepting that when you are 40+ you are no longer going to look like you did when you were 20. Doesn't mean you can't look good but we are all aging.   So, just do things to improve your overall health, diet, sleep, exercise, good haircut, makeup, etc.  Go and buy some new clothes and shoes. It might be time to change your style a bit as well.  Maybe you were jeans and tshirts in your 20's but now you might look for a bit different look. Change it up and have fun with it.

And, if you decide you want some plastic work, then consider that too as there is nothing wrong with that either as long as you are truly doing it to enhance yourself and don't become overly obsessed with it.

[Deleted]

I third or fourth the drinking water too.

[thyme4change]

You might also want to reconsider the products you use.  Your skin and hair change - you get less moisture / oily as you age.  You might want to look around for different products that work better for you.  

I've considered signing up for Birch Box to see if I could find some additional products I like.  Maybe you can get samples from the department store counters or something.

[moneymom]

Jan 19, 2015 7:33:41 GMT -5 Shooby said:

I think part of it is accepting that when you are 40+ you are no longer going to look like you did when you were 20. Doesn't mean you can't look good but we are all aging.   So, just do things to improve your overall health, diet, sleep, exercise, good haircut, makeup, etc.  Go and buy some new clothes and shoes. It might be time to change your style a bit as well.  Maybe you were jeans and tshirts in your 20's but now you might look for a bit different look. Change it up and have fun with it.

And, if you decide you want some plastic work, then consider that too as there is nothing wrong with that either as long as you are truly doing it to enhance yourself and don't become overly obsessed with it.

I appreciate all the responses here and am going to make an appointment with my doctor.  

Just wanted to say that after I read your post I went and got an expensive haircut (major change) and I already feel 10 years younger!  Whoa...what a difference a good haircut can make.  Thanks for the suggestion!  I also started eating better starting yesterday, drinking more water, and started vitamins.  Hoping I get past this uncomfortableness soon and prevent a mid-life crisis! 

[kittensaver]

moneymom - I HIGHLY recommend this book:

www.amazon.com/What-Your-Doctor-About-Premenopause/dp/0446673803/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1421787595&sr=8-1&keywords=what+your+doctor+may+not+tell+you+about+premenopause&pebp=1421787611401&peasin=446673803

It changed my life - literally. Good luck to you.

[Deleted]

Jan 20, 2015 16:01:19 GMT -5 kittensaver said:

moneymom - I HIGHLY recommend this book:

www.amazon.com/What-Your-Doctor-About-Premenopause/dp/0446673803/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1421787595&sr=8-1&keywords=what+your+doctor+may+not+tell+you+about+premenopause&pebp=1421787611401&peasin=446673803

It changed my life - literally. Good luck to you.

I threw this in my cart.  I have all kinds of weird shit going on with me the past few years. A NP put me on some meds for the migraines I was getting and that was a phenomenal change, but still the hair, the motivation, the just general blahs...  Getting a little sick of that.

[Deleted]

I'm almost 50. I have arthritis in my feet that I'm learning to manage and my metabolism has slowed down so I need to adapt to that. But so far the big health problems haven't hit. As for how to age, I'm trying to take my inspiration from these ladies Advanced Style. I don't want to look young, I want to look great.

[Deleted]

It shouldn't be that bad in your 40s; I agree you need to see a doctor. I don't remember much changing in my 40s except hair going greyer, eyesight deteriorating to the point I needed glasses (I worked with computers all my life) and the frown lines between my brows deepening. I did develop migraines but those disappeared after I divorced.

I'm now 62.  I'm blessed with good genes and have been very active all my life, both of which help.  I'd gained about 15 lbs. over the years but lost it a few years ago and have kept it off.  Hair greyer, frown lines deeper, now developing jowls.   Menopause hasn't been a biggie for me; I live with hot flashes but they're minor, and had no problem with mood swings or other symptoms at all.  I do find that I need to take a day off from the gym once in awhile (every few weeks or so) because my joints complain, but my workouts are usually 75-90 minutes so I guess that's to be expected.  From the neck down, I'm actually happy with what I see in the mirror!

I've been determined that I'd never chalk sudden changes to "old age"; they usually have an underlying cause.  The "old age" stuff sneaks up on you.

Patstab- congratulations on your weight loss- you look great! 

[zibazinski]

Athena, try glucosamine. I had to start it or I could never work out because my knees were killing me. It doesn't work for everyone I am told but it sure worked for me.

[Jake 48]

DW is 53, was going through all the same symptoms you described, tired, feeling like crap, weight gain, crazy menstrual cycle, hot flashes etc.. her blood work shows her thyroid is low, her dr is treating her symptoms, not the #, lot of drs only treat the #, It has been a slow process, she is on a low dose thyroid med, to improve the #'s, she feels better, still a work in progress, gym 5 days a week, personal trainer, ran a marathon this past fall. Her biggest bitch is not losing weight, she loses inches. So get the thyroid checked, good luck 

[Deleted]

Feb 1, 2015 10:00:55 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

Athena, try glucosamine. I had to start it or I could never work out because my knees were killing me. It doesn't work for everyone I am told but it sure worked for me.

Thanks I'll give it a try. I really value being able to stay active so I don't want to over-stress my body.

[bean29]

MoneyMom, 

I am 51, my thyroid was removed about 7 years ago.  My Endocrinologist suggested seveeral years ago that due to my thyroid being gone, I would start Menopause earlier.

After discussions re:  menopause here and estrogen replacement therapy here, I decided to push for some type of estrogen thereapy repalcement drugs.  It took me several years to get the OB/Gyn to listen to me.  Apparently it is very hard to tell if you are in menopause if you are on B/C hormones.  If you stop the B/C to do the test and you are not in menopause you could get PG.

Anyways, I first got a prescription for Premarin about a year ago.  It helps, but I am not really faithful about taking it, so I still suffer hot flashes at night sometimes.

I have very fair skin, my veins are close to the surface of my skin.  We had our passport photos taken about 5 years ago and I also noticed I had dark bags under my eyes.  I went to a plastic surgon and they did several rounds of laser therapy on the veins under my eyes.  I think it was $75/treatment and 4-5 treatments.  I look much better now, and I think it was noticible b/c a co-worker went and had it done too.  

I have no idea how much grey hair I have.  I now get my hair colored at the salon every 4 weeks.  I asked my beautician a few weeks ago how much grey hair I had, and she said what grey hair, it's all white.  

I have 2 SIL's one 40 and the other maybe 45 that swear they are in menopause.  I agree with the others, you should consult your Dr.  There may be something else going on.

I stopped exercising about a year ago.  My feet just hurt too much after I excercise.  I have not gained weight, I lost weight (worked on it).  My Dr said my Thyroid level was too high, which I think could contribute to my foot pain, and she lowered my synthroid dose to .1 MG.  I have gained a little weight, but not bad...I want to try excersicing again, and up my water intake.

Good Luck, Glad you are enjoying the new haircut.

[moneymom]

Feb 1, 2015 13:19:15 GMT -5 Jake 48 said:

DW is 53, was going through all the same symptoms you described, tired, feeling like crap, weight gain, crazy menstrual cycle, hot flashes etc.. her blood work shows her thyroid is low, her dr is treating her symptoms, not the #, lot of drs only treat the #, It has been a slow process, she is on a low dose thyroid med, to improve the #'s, she feels better, still a work in progress, gym 5 days a week, personal trainer, ran a marathon this past fall. Her biggest bitch is not losing weight, she loses inches. So get the thyroid checked, good luck 

Thanks for this.  I am requesting to get my levels checked again.  I had to go in for a thyroid ultrasound (preventative, family history) and they found a nodule.  They said just wait and watch.  But my levels were normal when checked approx 11 months ago.  We'll see!

[moneymom]

Jan 20, 2015 16:01:19 GMT -5 kittensaver said:

moneymom - I HIGHLY recommend this book:

www.amazon.com/What-Your-Doctor-About-Premenopause/dp/0446673803/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1421787595&sr=8-1&keywords=what+your+doctor+may+not+tell+you+about+premenopause&pebp=1421787611401&peasin=446673803

It changed my life - literally. Good luck to you.

will check that out, thanks!!

[Artemis Windsong]

Some of your symptoms sound like an allergy.  I don't have a resource where you can try eliminating foods then reintroducing them to see if they cause a reaction.  I know Dr. Oz had some recommendations on how to do that but navigating that site to find old information is difficult. 

One of the best things that I learned for myself was to control my allergies everyday.  Not just when they were bad.  Our local hospital had what is called Doc Talk as a public forum is where this information came from.

The first big clue to this journey of finding information was a friend asked for a cold tablet on the golf course.  I gave her one of my allergy tabs which was all I had.  She said she was cured after the tablet kicked in.  She was further helped when she found out what the costs were to do allergy tests in the clinic and contacted her insurance provider to check coverage.  Finding her allergies reduced her RA symptoms.  Not completely; just reduced.

[zibazinski]

Athena, give it about two weeks and I find the minute I stop, my knees start hurting again.  They've got me hooked!!

[mikosmommy]

I'll be 40 in August but don't look it. A customer of mine swore he was older than me and he'll be 35 this year! My knees do hurt but I need to lose weight and standing on a concrete floor all day doesn't help. I have white stands in places but they're hard to see. 

[mmhmm]

Good advice here! The absolute first thing to do is to get to your physician and have a full physical with all labs. I agree it sounds like you may have some allergy issues, but you need to be sure everything is in good working order and running smoothly. The month of February in our hemisphere is infamous for leaving people feeling wrung out and crabby. It's the end of winter and we're all bloody sick of it!

Once you know where you are physically you can start to work on the other stuff, like make-up, hair color, maybe even a style change to give you a boost. I'm 73, no chronic diseases, no meds other than a beta-blocker for a congenital tremor. Daily multi-vitamin, vitamin D3 in the winter, extra calcium and extra B complex just because. I also drink a lot of water and don't drink coffee or tea. Don't need the caffeine as it exacerbates the tremor. Good diet is really important.

Keep us posted on how you're doing and what you find out from you physical.

[trimatty471]

Feb 6, 2015 16:45:16 GMT -5 @patstab said:

I've been reading on some forums here and there about many women starting to have issues with their skin and hair in their 40's.

I'm wondering if all the stuff they are adding to food is causing some of this. I would feel bad too if this stuff was hitting me that young,

at my age is to be expected.

I will be 40 this year.  I have the joint issues and last year my hair started to shed badly.  I even have a bald patch.  

I did a full blood work.  And the only thing they found was that I was low in vitamin D.

[mmhmm]

Apr 5, 2015 11:19:48 GMT -5 trimatty471 said:

Feb 6, 2015 16:45:16 GMT -5 @patstab said:

I've been reading on some forums here and there about many women starting to have issues with their skin and hair in their 40's.

I'm wondering if all the stuff they are adding to food is causing some of this. I would feel bad too if this stuff was hitting me that young,

at my age is to be expected.

I will be 40 this year.  I have the joint issues and last year my hair started to shed badly.  I even have a bald patch.  

I did a full blood work.  And the only thing they found was that I was low in vitamin D.

How's your stress level? Are you under a lot of stress at this time? That could explain some of the hair loss. Do supplement your vitamin D. Salmon and tuna both are good sources. Vitamin D is very important for your bones and not having enough can cause muscle weakness and bone pain. You might also want to start increasing your exercise a bit at a time. That can help with a lot of issues.

[Deleted]

Apr 5, 2015 11:19:48 GMT -5 trimatty471 said:

Feb 6, 2015 16:45:16 GMT -5 @patstab said:

I've been reading on some forums here and there about many women starting to have issues with their skin and hair in their 40's.

I'm wondering if all the stuff they are adding to food is causing some of this. I would feel bad too if this stuff was hitting me that young,

at my age is to be expected.

I will be 40 this year.  I have the joint issues and last year my hair started to shed badly.  I even have a bald patch.  

I did a full blood work.  And the only thing they found was that I was low in vitamin D.

I lost a massive amount of hair a couple years ago at 44.  Had all the blood work done and nothing came up, so they chalked it up to stress and said it would start coming back in 3 months.  Well, it took a lot longer than 3 months, but now 2 years later it's a lot better.  About 6 months ago my NP told me to start taking Vitamin D and biotin every day.  Not sure how much that contributed to it.

[trimatty471]

Apr 5, 2015 11:53:35 GMT -5 mmhmm said:

Apr 5, 2015 11:19:48 GMT -5 trimatty471 said:

I will be 40 this year.  I have the joint issues and last year my hair started to shed badly.  I even have a bald patch.  

I did a full blood work.  And the only thing they found was that I was low in vitamin D.

How's your stress level? Are you under a lot of stress at this time? That could explain some of the hair loss. Do supplement your vitamin D. Salmon and tuna both are good sources. Vitamin D is very important for your bones and not having enough can cause muscle weakness and bone pain. You might also want to start increasing your exercise a bit at a time. That can help with a lot of issues.

I do not remember being stressed out at the time.
I do a lot of walking.  I purchased an exercise bike, but I haven't used it much...

[PauletteG]

My straight, fine hair is lank now, 30 hours after washing it. I alternate among Neutrogena clarifying shampoo, Garnier Fructis Volume Extend, baking soda/water solution, and Whole Foods 365 Citrus Shampoo. I don't use a heavy conditioner, twice now I've used apple cider vinegar diluted with water as a rinse. I'm taking a multivitamin and 2 Fish Oil gelcaps daily, also getting Vitamin D. The fact that my hair attains lankness within 48 hours, no matter what hair cleansing product I use, makes me wonder if this is hormonal and I should take progesterone, or if I should reintroduce 3x/day consumption of virgin coconut oil.

Asking the perimenopausals who've had hair texture change issues: what's worked for you?

[moneymom]

May 3, 2015 22:51:32 GMT -5 @patstab said:

I take the hair, skin, and nail vitamins. Right now I'm shedding some but I think its the fact

I got my thyroid meds messed up.

I'm 69 and take premarin also, do not dye my hair, has some gray around the front but looks

frosted. Hair stylists told me not yet, I'm still fine.

omg... is that you in the profile pic??  You look FANTASTIC!!!!!   get out of here LOL!  j/k.  I would love to "age" like you.