Son, 4 year Computer Science degree, and the military-edited

[Deleted]

if you are experienced, you could then give your son mock interviews. Give him feedback on his answers. he could then update them.

It would be MUCH better if a neighbor / friend / colleague could do a mock interview instead of / in addition to the OP / mom. I think the interviewee needs a certain distance to perform well and interviewing with Mom doesn't necessarily provide that. (Mom can definitely help him practice/rehearse, but ideally somebody else should do it too, at least once, IMO.)

[mmhmm]

I hope DS has a good talk with the military recruiters. Air Force might be the best fit, but he could talk to all branches. If he's having problems with social skills, the military might be of a lot of help to him. He'll be around others and can learn from them. It sounds like a lot of good possibilities might open up for him if he takes this route. Good luck to him! 

[❤ mollymouser ❤]

I'm slightly biased, but my suggestion is that your son speak with an Air National Guard recruiter.

[Deleted]

Best of luck to your son!!!

[luckyme]

Jan 20, 2015 19:50:15 GMT -5 luckyme said:

Jan 20, 2015 0:19:59 GMT -5 stillmovingforward said:

Thank you all for your responses.

Yes, son has a 'real' degree from a state 4 year college. Jobs are still competitive, he's looking everywhere in the U.S., but is very socially awkward and 'geeky' so I don't think he is interviewing well. He is also not good at social networking. And he isn't taking advantage of the help I've tried to direct him to. I could be more demanding but, honestly, I'm still raising his siblings and he needs to 'step up' without my becoming demanding, nasty, or obnoxious.

I help hire engineers at my company and its pretty hard for someone with no experience to get in the door. Although I love the 'no experience' kids, they are easier to train but you still have no idea how they are going to handle the actual job vs school.

bump:

Did the school offer internships or co-ops?   From my understanding, that is the new demand for college kids.  


Are others with his major also having problems?  Do you think he should have gone to a better college?  Would the added expense have been worth it?


Interesting how many here are encouraging him to enter the military.  We looked at that also, but I was told my many guardsmen, reservists, and retired military to avoid doing that if at all possible. 

[luckyme]

Jan 21, 2015 8:57:01 GMT -5 luckyme said:

[stillmovingforward]

His college was a state college but the program is well though of. There were internships but his 'home from college' job paid SOOOO much more that he decided to not get an internship (I didn't agree with this but he did put himself thru college on his own so I have no grounds to say anything). Again, he is VERY shy (borderline Asperger's) and, for whatever reason, unwilling to accept help in the 'closing the sale' portion of his interviews. He got lots of hits on his resume, lots of 1st and 2nd interviews but just couldn't make that final cut. The unwillingness to accept help is most likely what doomed him.

We have had a 'come to Jesus' talk. In which I laid down that he needed to move on with an alternative plan. Go, explore what the military can offer, continue to job hunt for a few more weeks, then he will need to decide 1) got a job 2) military 3) whatever but not in my house without significant rent payment. Interestingly enough, he had a really great interview this afternoon (2nd one for this company), and is going in soon for a 3rd one. In the hours prior to the interview (he only had 6 hours warning), he asked for suggestions, told me what he does in an interview, etc. FINALLY!

Regardless, I really thank everyone for their views and ideas. I also spoke with some of the professionals at work who did 'a stint' in the military and how it affected their careers (most said it did them and their careers a world of good). I guess what I am aiming for it to NOT have a 'failure to launch' kid. He is going to stand on his own two feet because I think, in the long run, he will be happier, mentally healthier, etc. Like I told him, he can do it because he already put himself thru college.

I'll update this thread now and again. Maybe the thought of the military was enough to get him more serious about getting help for his interview skills. Or he joins the military. Whatever happens, he has 4 weeks to make up his mind!

[bobosensei]

I'm curious.  What has he been doing in the interviews?  

[beergut]

When is the 3rd interview?

[stillmovingforward]

Thanks Ratchets!  He had 2 strong, in-person interviews this past week.  After getting thru the 3 phone interviews for each.  He should hear on both this coming week.  He is finally coming around, asking about how to interview better, and (OMG!) shaved his beard REALLY close.  He looks much more professional! 

Once interviewer asked him why he still hasn't found a job.  My son was honest and told him that he hadn't been that good at interviewing at first but was getting better the more he did it.  Also asked if he has a current job and did he like it.  Answer: yes, I do but I don't like it.  It's a menial labor job at a hotel but it got me through college and gives me money to live off of until I find a proper job.  I was very proud when he told me the questions and his answers.  He wanted to know if he answered the questions correctly.

However, if nothing pans out, he'll be to the recruiting office.  He is accepting that and understands why he needs to.  Ratchets, I'll let you know what they say and hook the 2 of you up if/when it gets to that point.

[Phoenix84]

Three interviews is pretty intense. But I guess that's what people have to do these days.

[stillmovingforward]

That was just to get an in-person interview. Both jobs really have him excited as he finds the work fascinating.  One of the jobs will require travel in and out of the country. He would like to do that! He's shy, has a touch of Asperger's, hates to drive, but loves to travel and is great about finding alternative transportation. Go figure!  I have my fingers and toes crossed for him!

[stillmovingforward]

I am 'bumping' this thread with a note to let everyone know what happened:

Son came to the understanding that he did need to start coming up with an alternative 'game plan' and was hearing the clock tick towards having to pay BIG TIME to stay at our home or move out.  So he took a few steps that he kept thinking 'wasn't necessary'. 

He ended up with 2 job offers in the same week!  He is moving the 'the big city' a few hours away with the job he thought would be the most interesting.  I'm so excited!  He's nervous as they only gave him 2 weeks to relocate and he gave his current job 2 weeks notice.  So he (and I) are hustling to find an apartment and move him, while working.  He's almost out!

 

[billisonboard]

[stillmovingforward]

Yes, and we found an apartment that he can afford on his salary, plus his student loans, savings, and play money. As he is well aware from college days that we will NOT be subsidizing his lifestyle. Its a 45 minute day commute, one-way, via bus. He'll be fine. I told him it was an incentive to work hard, get good raises, save money, and then he could get a closer place.

He had saved enough money that he doesn't need any money from SDH or I for moving, last until he gets his first paycheck, etc.

[Jaguar]

Awesome news and wishing him lots and lots of good luck.

[Deleted]

That's fantastic news! Best of luck to him!

Congratulations to your son, and to you for giving him the push he needed!

[dannylion]

Yay! That's great news.  Wishing him much success!

[gacpa]

Very happy and excited for all of you.