"I've seen your driving and..." Awful Things Your Kids Say

[milee]

My oldest son will turn 15 and be eligible for his driving learner's permit at the end of March.  To get him thinking about driving tips and strategies, over the past 5-6 months I've been starting to talk about what I'm seeing and doing while I drive - decisions I make and why, what's likely to happen, things to look out for - things like that.  It was going really well for the first few months we did that.  He was excited to talk about it and interested in learning. 

In the last month or so, however, he's downloaded some driving simulation, done and little reading and is now an expert that is not interested in or in need of any further input. 

I've been still trying to gently work with him, dropping most of it and only talking once a week or so about something unusual that I see while driving.  Last night, we were in a very busy parking lot and I explained how since it's tough to see out of the back of the SUV and likely to be pedestrians, it's safer to back into the space to park (so you don't have to back out later) while you're in the main aisle and can clearly see the people.  He gave a dismissive grunt and I asked if he disagreed or if this was something he already knew.  He told me he disagreed and we talked a little back and forth, with him basically saying I had no clue and he would have no issues backing up blind and me trying to calmly listen and also try to explain.  It all came to a screeching halt when he put up a hand and said:

"Mom, I'm going to be honest with you because I'm sure you'd want that."  Me thinking... well, maybe.    He continued on, "I've been riding with you for years now.  I've seen your driving and it's not something I wish to emulate."

[milee]

On the bright side, I'm going to be saving a lot of money and aggravation because until his attitude turns around, he won't be driving at all.

Oh, and my husband thinks this is all hilarious.  I think he's getting me a t-shirt made with this saying on it.  Or maybe a bumper sticker. 

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Your 15 year old son used the word emulate?

I'm impressed!

[Tennesseer]

Why not eliminate backing into spaces as much as possible.  Why not simply drive forward into the parking space in front of you (assuming there is another lane of parking in the lot).

[The Captain]

Jan 15, 2015 17:15:09 GMT -5 milee said:

My oldest son will turn 15 and be eligible for his driving learner's permit at the end of March.  To get him thinking about driving tips and strategies, over the past 5-6 months I've been starting to talk about what I'm seeing and doing while I drive - decisions I make and why, what's likely to happen, things to look out for - things like that.  It was going really well for the first few months we did that.  He was excited to talk about it and interested in learning. 

In the last month or so, however, he's downloaded some driving simulation, done and little reading and is now an expert that is not interested in or in need of any further input. 

I've been still trying to gently work with him, dropping most of it and only talking once a week or so about something unusual that I see while driving.  Last night, we were in a very busy parking lot and I explained how since it's tough to see out of the back of the SUV and likely to be pedestrians, it's safer to back into the space to park (so you don't have to back out later) while you're in the main aisle and can clearly see the people.  He gave a dismissive grunt and I asked if he disagreed or if this was something he already knew.  He told me he disagreed and we talked a little back and forth, with him basically saying I had no clue and he would have no issues backing up blind and me trying to calmly listen and also try to explain.  It all came to a screeching halt when he put up a hand and said:

"Mom, I'm going to be honest with you because I'm sure you'd want that."  Me thinking... well, maybe.    He continued on, "I've been riding with you for years now.  I've seen your driving and it's not something I wish to emulate."

Ummm...how do I phrase this nicely...

Is there any chance there is sound reasoning behind his statement?

I have a very dear BFF who has totaled two cars and is only alive due to modern crash technology.  I.will.not.get.in.a.car.with.them!

Think is, they don't think their driving is ALL that bad!

[milee]

Jan 15, 2015 17:25:15 GMT -5 The Captain said:

Jan 15, 2015 17:15:09 GMT -5 milee said:

Ummm...how do I phrase this nicely...

Is there any chance there is sound reasoning behind his statement?

I have a very dear BFF who has totaled two cars and is only alive due to modern crash technology.  I.will.not.get.in.a.car.with.them!

Think is, they don't think their driving is ALL that bad!

I'll readily admit I'm not a fantastic driver.  That said, I've only had one accident in over 20 years, so the driving gets me where I need to be in one piece. 

[milee]

Jan 15, 2015 17:19:52 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

Why not eliminate backing into spaces as much as possible.  Why not simply drive forward into the parking space in front of you (assuming there is another lane of parking in the lot).

Definitely a great strategy. Unfortunately, around here, they're big fans of fancy medians so I can only think of one parking lot where that's even an option.

[Bonny]

What's that bumper sticker?

Move out now while you know it all?

[Tennesseer]

Jan 15, 2015 17:29:05 GMT -5 milee said:

Jan 15, 2015 17:19:52 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

Why not eliminate backing into spaces as much as possible.  Why not simply drive forward into the parking space in front of you (assuming there is another lane of parking in the lot).

Definitely a great strategy. Unfortunately, around here, they're big fans of fancy medians so I can only think of one parking lot where that's even an option.

That does make it a problem, doesn't it.

Another tip you may pass on (if your son is willing to listen) if traffic is stopped at a stop light. Sometimes while the light is still red, the cars in front of you may start creeping forward filling the spaces left in between each other. It's recommended you do not creep forward too as the car behind you might think the light has changed to green and speed up and hit your car in the rear. Not moving will keep the car behind you in place.

I hope that makes sense.

[Deleted]

Jan 15, 2015 17:29:05 GMT -5 milee said:

Jan 15, 2015 17:19:52 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

Why not eliminate backing into spaces as much as possible.  Why not simply drive forward into the parking space in front of you (assuming there is another lane of parking in the lot).

Definitely a great strategy. Unfortunately, around here, they're big fans of fancy medians so I can only think of one parking lot where that's even an option.

I can't stand getting stuck waiting for someone to back into a space.  park at the edge of the lot if you can't back out of a spot.

that's one of the things on the MD driving test - backing into a spot.  I would rather they spend their time making sure everyone knows how to merge - I've managed to drive for 32 years without having been taught to back into a spot.

[milee]

Jan 15, 2015 17:35:37 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

Jan 15, 2015 17:29:05 GMT -5 milee said:

Definitely a great strategy. Unfortunately, around here, they're big fans of fancy medians so I can only think of one parking lot where that's even an option.

That does make it a problem, doesn't it.

Another tip you may pass on (if your son is willing to listen) if traffic is stopped at a stop light. Sometimes while the light is still red, the cars in front of you may start creeping forward filling the spaces left in between each other. It's recommended you do not creep forward too as the car behind you might think the light has changed to green and speed up and hit your car in the rear. Not moving will keep the car behind you in place.

I hope that makes sense.

Makes sense to me and I agree. Whether The Expert will be open to that input is another story.

[Formerly SK]

Jan 15, 2015 17:15:09 GMT -5 milee said:

My oldest son will turn 15 and be eligible for his driving learner's permit at the end of March.  To get him thinking about driving tips and strategies, over the past 5-6 months I've been starting to talk about what I'm seeing and doing while I drive - decisions I make and why, what's likely to happen, things to look out for - things like that.  It was going really well for the first few months we did that.  He was excited to talk about it and interested in learning. 

In the last month or so, however, he's downloaded some driving simulation, done and little reading and is now an expert that is not interested in or in need of any further input. 

I've been still trying to gently work with him, dropping most of it and only talking once a week or so about something unusual that I see while driving.  Last night, we were in a very busy parking lot and I explained how since it's tough to see out of the back of the SUV and likely to be pedestrians, it's safer to back into the space to park (so you don't have to back out later) while you're in the main aisle and can clearly see the people.  He gave a dismissive grunt and I asked if he disagreed or if this was something he already knew.  He told me he disagreed and we talked a little back and forth, with him basically saying I had no clue and he would have no issues backing up blind and me trying to calmly listen and also try to explain.  It all came to a screeching halt when he put up a hand and said:

"Mom, I'm going to be honest with you because I'm sure you'd want that."  Me thinking... well, maybe.    He continued on, "I've been riding with you for years now.  I've seen your driving and it's not something I wish to emulate."

OMG I would die laughing if my kid said that to me!  Then I'd buy a t-shirt that says, "My mom is a better driver than me" and make him wear it when he gets his first speeding ticket.  Game on! 

[moon/Laura]

Jan 15, 2015 17:19:52 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

Why not eliminate backing into spaces as much as possible.  Why not simply drive forward into the parking space in front of you (assuming there is another lane of parking in the lot).

I try to avoid having to back out whenever possible, even if it means I park a little further away from the door. There's someone I see at work that NEVER pulls through to the front spot and it just flabbergasts me. It's 6 am, and the lot is empty. There's no need to park in a rear space and back out later.

ETA- too bad it's really not an option.

[whoisjohngalt]

3 things:

1.  I found his statement hilarious (no offense to you Milee)
2.  I hope my kids are as well spoken and as honest with me when they are 15
3.  I ALWAYS back into spaces and did so when we lived in MD.  Who knew I was irritating Singlemominmd even before the YM

ETA:  on the things my kids said to me

"mommy, don't worry about giving me an answer, I'll just ask daddy, he is smarter than you, he'll know"

[milee]

Jan 15, 2015 19:06:49 GMT -5 whoisjohngalt said:

3 things:

1.  I found his statement hilarious (no offense to you Milee)
2.  I hope my kids are as well spoken and as honest with me when they are 15
3.  I ALWAYS back into spaces and did so when we lived in MD.  Who knew I was irritating Singlemominmd even before the YM

ETA:  on the things my kids said to me

"mommy, don't worry about giving me an answer, I'll just ask daddy, he is smarter than you, he'll know"

No offense taken. It was hilarious. And I was trying not to laugh when I responded.

He's well-spoken and honest, but could use a little more tact.  (Not a shock - that's genetic!) 

[taz157]

Jan 15, 2015 19:06:49 GMT -5 whoisjohngalt said:

3 things:

1.  I found his statement hilarious (no offense to you Milee)
2.  I hope my kids are as well spoken and as honest with me when they are 15
3.  I ALWAYS back into spaces and did so when we lived in MD.  Who knew I was irritating Singlemominmd even before the YM

ETA:  on the things my kids said to me

"mommy, don't worry about giving me an answer, I'll just ask daddy, he is smarter than you, he'll know"

to 1-3

to the ETA.

[tskeeter]

Jan 15, 2015 17:15:09 GMT -5 milee said:

My oldest son will turn 15 and be eligible for his driving learner's permit at the end of March.  To get him thinking about driving tips and strategies, over the past 5-6 months I've been starting to talk about what I'm seeing and doing while I drive - decisions I make and why, what's likely to happen, things to look out for - things like that.  It was going really well for the first few months we did that.  He was excited to talk about it and interested in learning. 

In the last month or so, however, he's downloaded some driving simulation, done and little reading and is now an expert that is not interested in or in need of any further input. 

I've been still trying to gently work with him, dropping most of it and only talking once a week or so about something unusual that I see while driving.  Last night, we were in a very busy parking lot and I explained how since it's tough to see out of the back of the SUV and likely to be pedestrians, it's safer to back into the space to park (so you don't have to back out later) while you're in the main aisle and can clearly see the people.  He gave a dismissive grunt and I asked if he disagreed or if this was something he already knew.  He told me he disagreed and we talked a little back and forth, with him basically saying I had no clue and he would have no issues backing up blind and me trying to calmly listen and also try to explain.  It all came to a screeching halt when he put up a hand and said:

"Mom, I'm going to be honest with you because I'm sure you'd want that."  Me thinking... well, maybe.    He continued on, "I've been riding with you for years now.  I've seen your driving and it's not something I wish to emulate."

Since DS is now an expert, it might be a good time to bet him $1,000 that he won't have his driver's license 90 days before he's involved in an accident.  Odds are you'll be able to use his money to help pay for his college.

[Deleted]

Awful things kids say? Remember what I do for a living. Where do I start?

• New outfit?  I see a lot of older women wearing that.
• Nice Christmas sweater. I wish I had a sweater like that! (Um, no one wears Christmas sweaters any more.)
• You have a flip phone?  Really?  Can I see it?  I've never seen a flip phone before.  And why do you have your phone number taped to the back of it?
• After telling stories about one of my kids . . . how old is your daughter/son?  Almost 40?  You know that my mom is younger than them, right?  You could be my grandmother?
• When they curse in class and I ask them what their grandmother would say if they used that word . . . "My grandmother is way cooler than you!"

Should I continue?  Lol.  You learn to laugh, laugh, and laugh more.

[Deleted]

We rode with a friend today and Son commented after we got home, 'You might not be a great driver, but that Helen is worse... '.   

[NoNamePerson]

Jan 15, 2015 17:19:52 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

Why not eliminate backing into spaces as much as possible.  Why not simply drive forward into the parking space in front of you (assuming there is another lane of parking in the lot).

You took the words out of my mouth. I never park unless I can pull thru. Sometimes that mean parking a ways away but then I get a little exercise in the mix. To me parking lots are more dangerous than our six lane street.   

[Apple]

I know how to back out of a space, but IMO, it's 10x safer to back in.  And, I'd rather wait for someone to back in than someone who can't see anything keep trying to back out in front of everyone.

Teen boys can be tactless jerks, but hilariously so.

[taz157]

Jan 15, 2015 21:37:31 GMT -5 Apple said:

I know how to back out of a space, but IMO, it's 10x safer to back in.  And, I'd rather wait for someone to back in than someone who can't see anything keep trying to back out in front of everyone.

I back into spaces about 95% of the time if I can't pull through.

[Deleted]

I find it easier to back out, there is lots of space. Backing into a space I need to judge the centre between two other vehicles to allow space for opening the doors etc. It's easier to judge that going forward.

And when GW was in driving classes she would correct my driving. "You didn't use your signal light on that turn" "That was a rolling stop at the stop sign" "That is a bike lane, not a turning lane." Honestly it was less aggravating to let her drive!

[Formerly SK]

Jan 15, 2015 19:06:49 GMT -5 whoisjohngalt said:

3 things:

1.  I found his statement hilarious (no offense to you Milee)
2.  I hope my kids are as well spoken and as honest with me when they are 15
3.  I ALWAYS back into spaces and did so when we lived in MD.  Who knew I was irritating Singlemominmd even before the YM

ETA:  on the things my kids said to me

"mommy, don't worry about giving me an answer, I'll just ask daddy, he is smarter than you, he'll know"

I've got you beat.  In the shower:  "Mom, wow your butt is soooooooooooooooooo jiggly!" 

[milee]

Jan 15, 2015 22:14:48 GMT -5 laterbloomer said:

I find it easier to back out, there is lots of space. Backing into a space I need to judge the centre between two other vehicles to allow space for opening the doors etc. It's easier to judge that going forward.

Oh, definitely.  It's technically much, much easier to back out of a space.  You don't need to be as precise and the maneuver is much less difficult.

What I'm trying to teach him is that in driving, there are some things you can control and some things you can't control.  So evaluate the situation to assess risk for the things you can't control and try to do your best with what you can control to minimize the risk from those uncontrollables.  In a parking situation where there are many oblivious pedestrians (think Florida - hordes of old people and tourists), you can't control who will wander out behind your car unexpectedly.  Plus, in my SUV there are some blind spots that can hide a pedestrian approaching.  Add that to the risk that you may be parked in between two vans or other vehicles that block your rear/side vision and you may be stuck backing out somewhat blindly just hoping nobody steps behind you at the wrong time.  Again, because you can't control that. 

So I want him to learn the technical skills he needs (backing up precisely - it's not that hard with a little practice) so that he can minimize the risk from the things he can't control (unseen pedestrians and tall, vision blocking vehicles parking next to you).  When you're in the center aisle, you have a pretty good view of what is around and can choose your time to back into a space.  Once you're parked head-in to a space, you've lost that good line of sight and with the added blind spots and lack of control over pedestrians and tall vehicles next to you, you're doing a much riskier move to back out. 

Highly dependent on type of car you drive (some have very few blind spots when backing) and likelihood of frequent pedestrian traffic in the location.

[Deleted]

We spend a fair amount of time in empty parking lots pulling forward and backward and into the right rear/left rear, forward,  etc spots. 

[Chocolate Lover]

Truly trying to not be snarky, but why would you buy a vehicle with such a blind spot that you can't back out safely??!??  I've never backed into a parking space and never hit anyone either, oblivious old people or not. (I work and shop at the Walmart in a very popular retirement area that's already in a popular vacation area)

[milee]

Jan 16, 2015 10:03:31 GMT -5 Chocolate Lover said:

Truly trying to not be snarky, but why would you buy a vehicle with such a blind spot that you can't back out safely??!??  

A good percent of vehicles out there have those blind spots whether the drivers realize it or not. They're a result of large C pillars, dramatically upward sloping side panels and other styling silliness.  SUVs have them, but so do smaller cars. The Prius is a great example of a vehicle that is small, but has HUGE blind spots... plus since it's almost silent, pedestrians are unlikely to hear your car = recipe for smooshiness.

[Chocolate Lover]

Jan 16, 2015 10:12:53 GMT -5 milee said:

Jan 16, 2015 10:03:31 GMT -5 Chocolate Lover said:

Truly trying to not be snarky, but why would you buy a vehicle with such a blind spot that you can't back out safely??!??  

A good percent of vehicles out there have those blind spots whether the drivers realize it or not. They're a result of large C pillars, dramatically upward sloping side panels and other styling silliness.  SUVs have them, but so do smaller cars. The Prius is a great example of a vehicle that is small, but has HUGE blind spots... plus since it's almost silent, pedestrians are unlikely to hear your car = recipe for smooshiness.

I won't buy one with huge blind spots, not killing people because I can't see them is a high priority. 

I'm aware of the blind spots my vehicles have and make sure my mirrors are positioned to help compensate. And look 15 times before I move.

[Deleted]

I think all vehicles have blind spots. My Flex has a huge one, but in some ways it might work better, in that I never take it for granted. I check and recheck if it happens to be relevant.