swamp
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THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
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Post by swamp on Jan 7, 2015 9:26:10 GMT -5
I'm pretty f'n spiteful. I would pick up and move and let him try to pursue the issue. If i had nothing to garnish Im not sure what they could collect. Not sure if I could get away with it but inside as hell would try God knows I know enoguh people who can't collect from dads so I can't imagine courts in PA would take more action for alimony than they do for child support Lol you are spiteful! But that is the man you would have shared the best 40 years of your life with if that's the best 40 years, her life sucked.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jan 7, 2015 9:29:51 GMT -5
I'm pretty f'n spiteful. I would pick up and move and let him try to pursue the issue. If i had nothing to garnish Im not sure what they could collect. Not sure if I could get away with it but inside as hell would try God knows I know enoguh people who can't collect from dads so I can't imagine courts in PA would take more action for alimony than they do for child support They take less. Unless the spouse applies for welfare. They the state sends the hoards to track you down and extract every penny from you. And that makes sense.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jan 7, 2015 9:30:25 GMT -5
Lol you are spiteful! But that is the man you would have shared the best 40 years of your life with if that's the best 40 years, her life sucked. Lmao! I was going to say if they were the best 40 years I wouldn't have gotten divorced!
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jan 7, 2015 9:32:54 GMT -5
I'm pretty f'n spiteful. I would pick up and move and let him try to pursue the issue. If i had nothing to garnish Im not sure what they could collect. Not sure if I could get away with it but inside as hell would try God knows I know enoguh people who can't collect from dads so I can't imagine courts in PA would take more action for alimony than they do for child support Lol you are spiteful! But that is the man you would have shared the best 40 years of your life with I am. I believe is doing what is right but being forced to support someone forever just isn't right. Alimony isn't common in PA so it blows my mind that someone can get support forever (outside of the kajillionaires who marry their little gold digging whores...). I just would never get married because I'm too practical. People get divorced and I shouldn't have to pay for it for the rest of my life
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swamp
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THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
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Post by swamp on Jan 7, 2015 9:33:49 GMT -5
Lol you are spiteful! But that is the man you would have shared the best 40 years of your life with I am. I believe is doing what is right but being forced to support someone forever just isn't right. Alimony isn't common in PA so it blows my mind that someone can get support forever (outside of the kajillionaires who marry their little gold digging whores...). I just would never get married because I'm too practical. People get divorced and I shouldn't have to pay for it for the rest of my life actually, lifetime alimony is pretty rare.
ETA: At least where I practice. It's pretty common to award it for a few years thought while the dependent spouse goes back to school for job training. I've most often seen it when a professional had a stay at home/low wage spouse who married them while they were going to school/building up a practice and definitely put the high earning spouse's interests above their own.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jan 7, 2015 9:42:39 GMT -5
I am. I believe is doing what is right but being forced to support someone forever just isn't right. Alimony isn't common in PA so it blows my mind that someone can get support forever (outside of the kajillionaires who marry their little gold digging whores...). I just would never get married because I'm too practical. People get divorced and I shouldn't have to pay for it for the rest of my life actually, lifetime alimony is pretty rare.
ETA: At least where I practice. It's pretty common to award it for a few years thought while the dependent spouse goes back to school for job training. I've most often seen it when a professional had a stay at home/low wage spouse who married them while they were going to school/building up a practice and definitely put the high earning spouse's interests above their own.
Short term support I can' understand. While I would never support someone shole married, if a person hasn't worked in years it is going to take time for them to get up and running in a career. It is the lifetime alimony that blows me away
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Jan 7, 2015 12:10:28 GMT -5
Man I am nervous.
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Jan 7, 2015 12:12:06 GMT -5
Thanks Sam, that made me cry. I am trying to keep positive but I am still hurt and devastated. Thank you for your kind words.
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greeniis10
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Post by greeniis10 on Jan 7, 2015 12:48:20 GMT -5
Slow, deep breaths... Interview is tomorrow, right? Try to relax as much as possible and maybe read over some interviewing tips online. And, if at all possible, completely forget about your personal situation during your interview. Try to have the mindset that you are now in control of your life, you are making changes because you want to, and be confident (even if you have to fake it a little bit). Good luck and keep us posted!
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HoneyBBQ
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Post by HoneyBBQ on Jan 7, 2015 19:06:15 GMT -5
Don't forget you have to pay taxes on that.
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Jan 7, 2015 20:57:26 GMT -5
Yes that was acknowledged by me several times during earlier posts honeyBBQ.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Jan 8, 2015 7:44:07 GMT -5
I am resigned to the fact that people see alimony as a negative, do I want alimony NO I want an intact marriage however that is not happening so I will take the help I can get for the moment based on what the court or he/I decide. Has it already been decided? Do you know and have in writing what u will be getting?
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NoNamePerson
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Is There Anybody OUT There?
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Post by NoNamePerson on Jan 8, 2015 7:54:55 GMT -5
actually, lifetime alimony is pretty rare.
ETA: At least where I practice. It's pretty common to award it for a few years thought while the dependent spouse goes back to school for job training. I've most often seen it when a professional had a stay at home/low wage spouse who married them while they were going to school/building up a practice and definitely put the high earning spouse's interests above their own.
Short term support I can' understand. While I would never support someone shole married, if a person hasn't worked in years it is going to take time for them to get up and running in a career. It is the lifetime alimony that blows me away Heck, I was unemployed when I got divorced and I didn't ask for any alimony support. I just wanted out and was afraid if that came into play it would delay things (against my attorney's advice I might say) I had worked off and on during 18 yrs married so wasn't totally out of job market. I found a job about 4 weeks after divorce. Lifetime alimony is something I don't understand
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jan 8, 2015 8:21:47 GMT -5
The only time I ever saw lifetime was when the man pissed the judge off by not agreeing to the settlement that all parties had agreed to. I got 7 years because of his schooling that I supported and paid for. I only collected Maintenance support during the divorce process. The minute it was final, not another dime.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Jan 8, 2015 8:28:26 GMT -5
Is alimony your long term plan? Is it for life? How do you know he will come through on the payments? I think instead of focusing on your retirement, you need to focus on your next act in life and what you want to do with the rest of your life other than contribute to retirement plans. Do you WANT to be a bank teller? If so, then great, you should be a bit more focused on getting back in the workforce and doing a great job and learning new skills than worrying about putting all of your salary into a 401K which you are not going to be allowed to do anyway.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 8, 2015 8:53:35 GMT -5
She need to start somewhere and bank teller has some familiarity. She get used to working again and then she can think of what is path for her life.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Jan 8, 2015 8:55:29 GMT -5
Yes. I agree. Just making the point that launching a new career is really more of the main focus than the retirement package.
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Jan 8, 2015 9:25:20 GMT -5
Yeah alimony is my life plan...
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Sam_2.0
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Post by Sam_2.0 on Jan 8, 2015 9:40:05 GMT -5
I hope it helps bridge the gap while you work on your job skills and move back into something you enjoy. Did you have your interview already?
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jan 8, 2015 12:17:27 GMT -5
What a judge awards you and what you collect can be very different.
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Jan 8, 2015 12:38:50 GMT -5
I can only think positive, I have plans for all contingencies.
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quince
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Post by quince on Jan 8, 2015 18:24:51 GMT -5
I think nutty is doing pretty well. She's already hopping on employment, no taking a break to gather her wits, aware that what she earns will be subtracted from alimony, and still gung-ho for getting self sufficient. Aware she needs to take care of herself and making plans to put as much as humanly possible into her 401k...fucking awesome. So if she needs to back off on contributions, she will be starting at max then backing down- living lean to do her best instead of just contributing what she has "leftover". Man. I have been out of the workforce for 2 months and I don't know that I'd hop right back in. (fuck you, STBX, I'm going back to school for a couple of years. ) Not really, but I'd entertain the thought pretty warmly. After reading this thread I reminded my husband that I offered to do a prenup that limited alimony/my share post-possible-divorce since I knew he'd have higher earning potential than me. He refused, even when I pointed out that we'd probably be moving to CA. Luckily for me, his default state is that what is ours is ours to share, and whatever the state guidelines are he'd be happy to work with. The man has no personal attachment to money, and that does make life easier. Good luck, nutty!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 9, 2015 0:44:34 GMT -5
Yes. I agree. Just making the point that launching a new career is really more of the main focus than the retirement package. I think she working for medical/dental benefits primary. Then for retirement saving. Then contingency if husband go dead-beat on her. She does not have to think beyond getting job with benefits today. After she is in job 6 month then she be good feeling to create life plan!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 9, 2015 0:46:11 GMT -5
nutty, how you feel about interview? not asking if you got job or they like you. only care how you feel and manage thru interview.
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