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Post by Deleted on Dec 23, 2014 10:15:31 GMT -5
Do you have to deal with anyone on a daily basis that is emotionally unstable?
I have one coworker that can literally be laughing during one sentence and bawling the next.
I have another one that has TERRIBLE mean days. You can tell by the look on her face when you see her in the morning.
I try and keep my distance, but that is hard to do when they come around me or I have to work with them.
How do you deal with it?
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movingforward
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Post by movingforward on Dec 23, 2014 10:28:55 GMT -5
Stay as far away as possible! There is one in my office who will bust out crying because "someone yelled at her." Uh, no the person was talking to you in a completely normal voice. Anytime anyone confronts her about something she did wrong they are "yelling at her" . She will also start arguments with people in the office for no reason at all. It is like she is auditioning for the Jerry Springer show or something. Our CEO has talked to her numerous times and finally told her she is going to be let go if there is one more incident. She has been a lot better the last month or so but I doubt she can keep this up much longer. The crazy is bound to come out again. Honestly, I would never have hired her to begin with. She started as a temp employee and there were issues but since it wasn't my call... I only interact with her when I absolutely have to do so; otherwise, I stay as far away as possible. The only problem is that my office is small (only 10 people) so staying away from someone can be difficult. At least I have my own office.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Dec 23, 2014 10:36:48 GMT -5
Stay away unless you have to deal with them. We don't have issues like that where I work, but I have been in offices where there were. I try and stay as far away from the crazy as possible.
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Dec 23, 2014 10:39:22 GMT -5
Stay as far away as possible! There is one in my office who will bust out crying because "someone yelled at her." Uh, no the person was talking to you in a completely normal voice. Anytime anyone confronts her about something she did wrong they are "yelling at her" . She will also start arguments with people in the office for no reason at all. It is like she is auditioning for the Jerry Springer show or something. Our CEO has talked to her numerous times and finally told her she is going to be let go if there is one more incident. She has been a lot better the last month or so but I doubt she can keep this up much longer. The crazy is bound to come out again. Honestly, I would never have hired her to begin with. She started as a temp employee and there were issues but since it wasn't my call... I only interact with her when I absolutely have to do so; otherwise, I stay as far away as possible. The only problem is that my office is small (only 10 people) so staying away from someone can be difficult. At least I have my own office. Your coworker must be related to mine somehow. Similar issues, same numerous chats with the boss. It's like watching a time bomb in the corner, just erratically ticking away. You never know what sets it off. I say as little as possible to her and keep looking for a new job.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Dec 23, 2014 10:39:29 GMT -5
Sometimes its fun to play with the mean ones!
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billisonboard
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Post by billisonboard on Dec 23, 2014 10:48:18 GMT -5
... I have another one that has TERRIBLE mean days. You can tell by the look on her face when you see her in the morning. ... How do you deal with it? I had a boss like that. There were just the two of us in the place, an empty office between us. I would communicate with her only by email on those days.
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happyhoix
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Post by happyhoix on Dec 23, 2014 11:06:48 GMT -5
We had a woman like this.
Weird situation - very concerned about doing a good job, but so OCD she spent far too much time getting her work done, and thought she was the only capable person in the office, so she was constantly scolding everyone else for not following her demands exactly, yet had hysterical melt downs in the bathroom if someone dared to suggest she made a mistake.
She cycled through the different departments as each manager tried to pass her off to the next manager. Once she'd run through all the different departments she announces she's far too good for our company and she found a job that would truly reward her excellent work - but was back a year later when they canned her (all her co-workers were either quitting or looking for a new job). Came back to us thinking we would hire her back, but we weren't taking that crazyness back on.
Scariest part- at some point she got scared at home and decided to purchase a gun for protection. I had the office closest to the front door and always wondered if she snapped and came to work with her gun if I would have enough time to jump up and lock my office door before she started blazing away.
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Dec 23, 2014 11:09:17 GMT -5
I had one assigned to me once. Total whack job who was convinced everyone was out to get them.
Seriously paranoid to the point where (no kidding) I notified (after a discussion with their prior manager) corporate legal that I was concerned about a workplace violence incident.
The behavior escalated to the point where the individual was terminated.
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on Dec 23, 2014 11:12:23 GMT -5
I have two co-workers that are difficult to work with, but I don't think either one is emotionally unstable.
One tends to be moody, and will snap your head off or not even respond when you ask for something. She is extremely competent at her job, and even though I may not get a response when I ask for something, I will get what I asked for. I decided early on, this was something I could easily live with. I have told other employees this when they complain about her behavior, and I think we are all pretty much in agreement.
Another employee takes on too much, and probably could delegate more and he very thoughly documents everything to the Nth degree. If you ask him for something when he is late for another appointment or is trying to get something done on deadline, you might get your head bit off. He will come back an appologize and ask what I neeed later on. I have other co-workers who will blow me off and just refuse to help resolve my issues. Again, I can live with this personality disorder.
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billisonboard
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Post by billisonboard on Dec 23, 2014 11:15:44 GMT -5
Had an employee who did a good job generally but struggled with customer relations during times of stress. The job, when it went well, was at the limit of her abilities. I would explain to people we could deal with her or I could fire her and they could pay her through public assistance with their tax dollars.
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haapai
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Post by haapai on Dec 23, 2014 11:25:33 GMT -5
I think that one of my coworkers has NPD.
I deal with it badly. I avoid any interaction with the self-serving, possibly soulless, one. I've retrained my brain not to respond to her mammalian distress signals, even if it means blunting myself to all other social interaction.
Some of my coworkers take different approaches to her but don't seem to come out any better. Dealing with her takes a heck of a toll out of us, no matter which strategy we use.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Dec 23, 2014 11:26:16 GMT -5
Do you have to deal with anyone on a daily basis that is emotionally unstable? I have one coworker that can literally be laughing during one sentence and bawling the next. I have another one that has TERRIBLE mean days. You can tell by the look on her face when you see her in the morning. I try and keep my distance, but that is hard to do when they come around me or I have to work with them. How do you deal with it? Pseudobulbar affect? Pseudobulbar affect
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Sam_2.0
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Post by Sam_2.0 on Dec 23, 2014 11:52:31 GMT -5
Yep. Didn't drink until I had this job . Thankfully I've moved departments and now don't have to interact with that person on a daily basis. So far I've not had any issues with the new job, and I will enjoy it for as long as it lasts
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Tiny
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Post by Tiny on Dec 23, 2014 12:25:08 GMT -5
I have a couple of people that I support technically that are a little scary - one is ANGRY and takes everything as a personal attack. The other one is a 'martyr' with a mean vindictive streak. They are both often 'ugly' to me - and they NEED my help. Just so you have some perspective here. I go the 'behavioral science' route when dealing with them. I stay calm and polite and attempt to NOT let them get me flustered. it's the old "people tend to mirror other people's reactions" and they do generally mirror back my 'polite calmness' when I don't mirror back their unpleasantness. The Angry Guy always starts out looking for a battle - but then usually settles down when I don't 'add to the fire'. Angry Guy is actually not a 'bad' or 'evil' person. He's just got really bad coping skills. He makes the effort to be polite/nice in non-confrontational areas - like the Pantry or when passing in the hall. There's no hope for the martyr. This person is just unpleasant ie 'evil'. And I suspect doesn't like me (I'm not one of his cronies). So, I stay calm and polite and non-flustered even when they get insulting or vindictive. I fall back on the Buddhist story about how 'anger is like a hot coal that you hold in your hand and attempt to throw at people or give to people'. I'm on the recieving end of this and as such I can choose to NOT attempt to catch the ugliness or I can just politely say "no" to the ugly gift. It's not my problem - it's theirs. I try to limit my exposure to this person. I've been a team member on projects where the martyr is also a team member. I've had several different Project Leaders who couldn't deal with the martyr and who discovered that I could get the martyr to do his job. The PL's would start communicating with the Martyr thru me. Since it wasn't a big time suck for me - I've done it. I hate manipulating people and I figured I'd use my 'powers' on the people I was already use to manipulating instead of adding new people to the list - like the Project Leaders who needed better manipulation skills. I'm gonna die and go to Hell. I know it.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Dec 23, 2014 12:31:42 GMT -5
One lady I worked with was just a mean beyotche. She often had other people in tears. I did directly confront her one time but that only intensified her. So, I found that it a passive aggressive approach worked very well.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Dec 23, 2014 12:33:16 GMT -5
There are all kinds of personalities, the hysterical ones, the mad ones, the lazy ones, the BSers who talk a lot of schite and go on and on promoting themselves, the organizer who has to turn Aunt Edna's bunionectomy into an occasion for everyone to donate and so forth.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 23, 2014 12:44:42 GMT -5
I brief poll of close proximity coworkers has revealed that I'm the unstable one. They seem to be dealing with it fine.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Dec 23, 2014 12:50:31 GMT -5
I brief poll of close proximity coworkers has revealed that I'm the unstable one. They seem to be dealing with it fine. You too?! Seriously though, when my thyroid meds are not at the right levels you sure can tell. I really am pyschotic. It's not pretty. :S
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Dec 23, 2014 12:56:15 GMT -5
I think that one of my coworkers has NPD. I have never met someone so self-centered and unaware of others as my coworker. Says unbelievable insulting stuff, but seems unaware of it. Only asks about your weekend so you will reciprocate so he can brag about his. Always makes comments about his self-proclaimed awesomeness & constantly complains about all the extra hours that he supposedly works. And unbelievably entitled, never met someone who thinks they deserve so much.
It has become funny though because we all know & basically don't put up with it. Waiting for the day that he pisses off a specific coworker who will tear him a new one
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happyhoix
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Post by happyhoix on Dec 23, 2014 13:03:27 GMT -5
I think that one of my coworkers has NPD. I have never met someone so self-centered and unaware of others as my coworker. Says unbelievable insulting stuff, but seems unaware of it. Only asks about your weekend so you will reciprocate so he can brag about his. Always makes comments about his self-proclaimed awesomeness & constantly complains about all the extra hours that he supposedly works. And unbelievably entitled, never met someone who thinks they deserve so much.
It has become funny though because we all know & basically don't put up with it. Waiting for the day that he pisses off a specific coworker who will tear him a new one
Unfortunately your NPD guy won't learn from having someone tear him a new one. I've got some NPD folks in my family and they are completely unable to stand outside themselves and look at their own behavior with a critical eye - which means nothing is ever their fault and they never had any part in causing any problems, whatever. And if someone seems to be mad at them - it's just because they are so insanely jealous of how fabulous they are! However, it will be fun to watch him get caught between your co-worker's cross hairs. NPD are always so astonished when someone blows up them.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 23, 2014 13:19:42 GMT -5
This one woman in the next cube would sing at the top of her lungs from time to time. If it was quiet in the office suddenly she would start meowing like a cat. Or blurt out "totally Cool dude". She was nuts. It drove me crazy, and I finally got an office when the boss was pleased with my work.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Dec 23, 2014 13:21:06 GMT -5
What's odd is that these are hostile work environments and companies can and have been sued for not dealing with toxic coworkers. DF has an employee that everyone can't stand, including him. I've told him when his two key people walk out the door don't come crying to me.
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Tiny
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Post by Tiny on Dec 23, 2014 13:24:28 GMT -5
One lady I worked with was just a mean beyotche. She often had other people in tears. I did directly confront her one time but that only intensified her. So, I found that it a passive aggressive approach worked very well. You have to wonder what kind of friends or family life someone like that has. If their responses to people in the work place are like that - odds are they are the same at home (or with any friends they might have). I had an Evil Manager, who couldn't figure out that punishing people wasn't always the way to get them to behave the way you want them to, especially not at the office. I can't imagine being able to turn on and off that kind of response/behaviour/expectation when dealing with people - so I suspect she relies on punishing family/friends when they don't meet her standards (no matter how unrealistic her standards are). I suspect her home life was relatively empty and that she had few true friends. A couple of my coworkers coped with her by being toadies and suck ups. They'd take the abuse while telling her how wonderful/right she was. It was very Junior High. I couldn't take it. I quit that job when I realized I wasn't going to be able to outlive the manager. I thought for sure she'd get re-assigned(this is back in the day when it was common to keep promoting incompetent people) or quit on her own (she often voiced how miserable her job was) or get fired. It was horribly obvious that our department was broken - but upper management let it be.
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Dec 23, 2014 13:34:53 GMT -5
I have never met someone so self-centered and unaware of others as my coworker. Says unbelievable insulting stuff, but seems unaware of it. Only asks about your weekend so you will reciprocate so he can brag about his. Always makes comments about his self-proclaimed awesomeness & constantly complains about all the extra hours that he supposedly works. And unbelievably entitled, never met someone who thinks they deserve so much.
It has become funny though because we all know & basically don't put up with it. Waiting for the day that he pisses off a specific coworker who will tear him a new one
Unfortunately your NPD guy won't learn from having someone tear him a new one. I've got some NPD folks in my family and they are completely unable to stand outside themselves and look at their own behavior with a critical eye - which means nothing is ever their fault and they never had any part in causing any problems, whatever. And if someone seems to be mad at them - it's just because they are so insanely jealous of how fabulous they are! However, it will be fun to watch him get caught between your co-worker's cross hairs. NPD are always so astonished when someone blows up them. Yes, it will be awesome to watch I don't expect it to change him. He has already had conversations with the boss where he has been told to be more caring & aware of others feelings. It hasn't made a difference. At least the boss is now starting to see the problem. Before we used to get lectures on being more nice to him & more understanding (because he is so sensitive)
Sorry that we don't want to be nice to the guy that says stuff like "that's why they pay me the big bucks" or "I don't understand why I am level X & being compared to other level X employees, I'm better than every other level X employee in the company" and my favorite "I wish I could wear headphones & work, but I don't have mindless work like you do, no offense". When he was asked to not talk about bonuses because one employee didn't get one due to their start date (which was only like a month after his) he said "why shouldn't I talk about it? I totally deserve this, I've been working hard!"
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Sam_2.0
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Post by Sam_2.0 on Dec 23, 2014 15:43:55 GMT -5
What's odd is that these are hostile work environments and companies can and have been sued for not dealing with toxic coworkers. DF has an employee that everyone can't stand, including him. I've told him when his two key people walk out the door don't come crying to me. You would think. We've been to HR several times over one lady, stating it was a hostile work environment, and no one cares. They are just hoping she will retire soon and save them the trouble of firing her. She's a bully and everyone knows it. But she gets away with more & more because everyone is too scared to make her mad for some reason.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Dec 23, 2014 15:46:30 GMT -5
Nope, HR will do nothing. My principal would do nothing. We had great employees leave/transfer because of him. I tried to escape and she sabotaged my chances. Finally when she was forced to retire, she got rid of him. On her way out she had no more to lose.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Dec 23, 2014 15:50:50 GMT -5
What's odd is that these are hostile work environments and companies can and have been sued for not dealing with toxic coworkers. DF has an employee that everyone can't stand, including him. I've told him when his two key people walk out the door don't come crying to me. You would think. We've been to HR several times over one lady, stating it was a hostile work environment, and no one cares. They are just hoping she will retire soon and save them the trouble of firing her. She's a bully and everyone knows it. But she gets away with more & more because everyone is too scared to make her mad for some reason. I worked with a professor who was a bully. His lab committed a federal animal care & use violation, yet his lab is still running. He got professional harassment charges brought against him by another professor. .. he's still working.
I'd love to know what dirt he has that keeps him employed. He is tenured so that's probably a huge reason he's untouchable.
DH is working with a woman who is the professor's female equivalent. Despite the vice president himself saying he's tired of her shit after the latest fiasco she's still employed.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 23, 2014 15:51:16 GMT -5
" You can tell by the look on her face when you see her in the morning" I have one like this at work. You can tell if she's possessed that day from a good 20 ft away. I can usually avoid her easily and appreciate the warning signal in her eyes.
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cael
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Post by cael on Dec 23, 2014 15:59:04 GMT -5
We have a terrible, toxic person in my office currently for going on 3 years now. Our boss and HR have apparently stopped caring or trying to do anything, because in our opinions they're afraid of a lawsuit, because she is that type. She's a drama queen, a liar, will throw anyone under the bus to get her way, thinks she knows everything, NEVER takes any personal responsibility for anything, pushes the envelope any chance she gets. I am really not a person who likes being nasty to people but i ignore her as best I can because otherwise, she'll think I like her and she'll talk to me like we're girlfriends, and I just can't. I have no interest in her life and honestly no interest in anything she's going through, because half of it or more is all lies, we're convinced. I can't get further into it or this would be a 2000 word post and my blood pressure would get insanely high, but at this point she's planning to move out of the country in June - she lies pretty much about everything but this one we're hoping is actually going to happen. (she's planning on moving to Europe for a guy she knows online - our hope is that since she did this when she moved up here to MA, it happens again this time) oh and she's 44, btw, acts like a 16 year old at best most days. Oh and the best thing is, my coworker tried to warn my boss about her during her 6 month probationary period and he could've cut her loose - he didn't and we're stuck with her. And she's accused my boss of things (that probably didn't happen) so he screwed himself too, not just the rest of us. Yet she was laughing and touching his arm and carrying on at our Christmas lunch like she loves him - and she always talks about how much she hates him. Phony asshole. Ok I'm actually done now.
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Happy prose
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Post by Happy prose on Dec 23, 2014 18:00:25 GMT -5
My boss. And her friend who has the same position as me in another department. They are both evil and crazy. Our boss(appointed official) brought them with him when he came. I can't win. We are all just waiting for a new administration so karma can pay a visit to the two evil ones.
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