NancysSummerSip
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 19:19:42 GMT -5
Posts: 36,692
Today's Mood: Full of piss and vinegar
Favorite Drink: Anything with ice
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Dec 22, 2014 16:51:13 GMT -5
A coworker has brought a rambunctious elementary-aged child to the office for the last two days. Kid keeps running up and down the hallway outside my door. We are generally discouraged from bringing children to work unless it is an emergency or a short "hey look at the baby" type trip. You make the same amount I do... hire a f@*&ing babysitter! Sounds like you need one of Tskeeter's customized Give Yourself a Hug Jackets. These toddler to 10 sized jackets come with sleeves that wrap fully around the child, making them feel snuggly and secure, and tie in the front. The jackets are available with a silk screening of Barney, or the super hero of your choice, on the front. The back panel is made of fully functional velcro. Just the acessory for the velcro wall you've had installed in the parent's office. Help your co-workers control their unruly children. Give the gift they will remember for the rest of your life. Tskeeter's Give Yourself a Hug Jackets. A unique gift they won't be getting from everyone they know! Do those jackets come with nice, secure ties that reach to their parents' throats? Or maybe super-duty Velcro so you can stick the kid, jacket and all, to the office wall for a nice game of Pin The Tail On the Brat? Hey, just making suggestions. I like kids just fine. It's the parents I sometimes can't stand.
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tskeeter
Junior Associate
Joined: Mar 20, 2011 19:37:45 GMT -5
Posts: 6,831
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Post by tskeeter on Dec 22, 2014 17:03:16 GMT -5
Sounds like you need one of Tskeeter's customized Give Yourself a Hug Jackets. These toddler to 10 sized jackets come with sleeves that wrap fully around the child, making them feel snuggly and secure, and tie in the front. The jackets are available with a silk screening of Barney, or the super hero of your choice, on the front. The back panel is made of fully functional velcro. Just the acessory for the velcro wall you've had installed in the parent's office. Help your co-workers control their unruly children. Give the gift they will remember for the rest of your life. Tskeeter's Give Yourself a Hug Jackets. A unique gift they won't be getting from everyone they know! Do those jackets come with nice, secure ties that reach to their parents' throats? Or maybe super-duty Velcro so you can stick the kid, jacket and all, to the office wall for a nice game of Pin The Tail On the Brat? Hey, just making suggestions. I like kids just fine. It's the parents I sometimes can't stand. Tskeeter's cumtomized Give Yourself a Hug Jackets are gauranteed to fully support even the most squirmy, chubby/cheribic child you know. Sorry, the velcro is only on the back, so no pin the tail ..... However, for use with front facing children, my fully pneumatic, bazooka styled, food shooter is just on the market. Just mount the handy, reloadable brocolli or bussel sprouts magazine (both included) and start serving lunch or dinner. Or, install our optional three quart buttermilk salad dressing tank for a squirtastic interlude of fun with the child (just the diversion for your coffee break).
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Bonny
Junior Associate
Joined: Nov 17, 2013 10:54:37 GMT -5
Posts: 7,459
Location: No Place Like Home!
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Post by Bonny on Dec 22, 2014 17:13:41 GMT -5
My MIL arrives tonight for a full freaking week. Then she goes back for 10 days and joins us at the cabin for another 5 days. Why did I agree to this? Helllllllllllllp meeeeeeeeeee! I have 8 bottles of wine for the week including three for Christmas dinner. I'm not sure it's enough! Call your favorite Nappa, Alexander, or Anderson valley winery. You can be resupplied by Wednesday. Friday at the latest. And they'll take your order for a follow up delivery now, so that you will be resupplied again on Monday, the 29th. If you call Wilson Creek, Bailey's, Filsinger, or Stewart Cellars, your supplies from Temecula for the week at the cabin can be sitting on the porch when you arrive. Of course, if you needed to do some "grocery shopping" while MIL is at the cabin, you can probably get away for a few (read 6) hours and stock up yourself. And, maybe even fit in a nice lunch at Thornton. Of course, if it snowed, you might have to check in at the B&B and spend the night. Maybe two. You might even be able to pull off a YMer's sleep over with some of the folks from the SD area. Our Dry Creek (Sonoma Co-near Healdsburg) winery will do a two day delivery any where in CA!
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NancysSummerSip
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 19:19:42 GMT -5
Posts: 36,692
Today's Mood: Full of piss and vinegar
Favorite Drink: Anything with ice
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Dec 22, 2014 17:15:12 GMT -5
-rofl-Love it!
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Deleted
Joined: Oct 11, 2024 8:21:02 GMT -5
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Dec 22, 2014 17:17:24 GMT -5
I can't afford what I want! And I come here, so I understand that I can't afford what I want.
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Tennesseer
Member Emeritus
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 21:58:42 GMT -5
Posts: 64,539
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Post by Tennesseer on Dec 22, 2014 17:23:06 GMT -5
My sister sent me an E-Christmas card today and it was cheezy. I suppose this is a step as as she has never sent a real or e-card in the past during Christmas.
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The Home 6
Well-Known Member
Joined: Dec 25, 2010 21:24:57 GMT -5
Posts: 1,906
Location: Bourbon Country
Favorite Drink: Wine. With a wine chaser.
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Post by The Home 6 on Dec 22, 2014 17:24:57 GMT -5
She came on Friday. We mess faster than she can clean. You have kids aka FREE LABOR! Let me tell you how that free labor thing works out. Mom: We are downsizing your room today. Get rid of clothes that are too small. Any stuffed animals that cannot fit in this bin (and it is a large bin) are getting donated. Kids after 10 minutes: why do you hate us and want us to go without clothes? I can't get rid of my toys, I love my toys! That McDonald's trinket that I haven't seen in 8 months is the only thing I've ever loved!!! Mom: I'm going to go drink some wine. When it comes time to unpack all this scheisse in Kentucky, you guys are in charge.
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quince
Senior Member
Joined: Sept 23, 2011 17:51:12 GMT -5
Posts: 2,699
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Post by quince on Dec 22, 2014 17:29:00 GMT -5
I just don't understand why an adult couple with no kids would think that a framed photo of themselves is a great Christmas gift for all their relatives. Or feel the need to send out photo-cards of themselves a few times a year. I have no patience for my husband's family.
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MarleyKeezy78
Senior Member
Joined: Jul 22, 2011 13:20:34 GMT -5
Posts: 3,226
Location: Sittin in the mitten
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Post by MarleyKeezy78 on Dec 22, 2014 17:30:02 GMT -5
Finally told my bitch of a mother I didn't care to see her for the holidays. She told her husband (who is fighting cancer at the moment) she wanted a divorce (she has been carrying on with another man in our home state for at least eight months) This is after she remarried her ex husband (now current) left him alone for the holidays to come back to our home state. She got here last Wednesday and didn't bother to call any family so she could be with her boyfriend and calls my grandma today and acts as if everthing is great Her husband found out yesterday that she has been cheating on him (finally!) Mind you that is why they got divorced the first time She sends me a message on FB this morning asking if we could get together and I finally stood up to her! Told her after six days of being home she couldn't bother to call and let us know what was up so I need some time to myself and if she has time to pull herself away from her boyfriend I will see her on Christmas Eve at grandmas. I also told her she needs to go to grandmas and talk face to face with her about her behavior. My poor grandma has been a wreak for days, crying and upset and at 87 doesn't need to put up with her shit anymore. We haven't heard back from her today and her husband has finally stopped calling 15 times a day. I feel kind of bad but she is a raging alcoholic and I have been through hell with her. She has started to treat DS badly and that's where I draw the line! And no you can't bring gifts and try to buy your way back in, suck it lady!!!!! Sorry! You win...wanna come to my house for the week? <<Packs Bags>> Hope you don't mind a husband and five year old, lol! We won't be any trouble, promise <<imagines myself and Nancy sitting on the beach or by the pool >> I'll be riding this reindeer so keep a eye out
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MarleyKeezy78
Senior Member
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Location: Sittin in the mitten
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Post by MarleyKeezy78 on Dec 22, 2014 17:34:05 GMT -5
I just don't understand why an adult couple with no kids would think that a framed photo of themselves is a great Christmas gift for all their relatives. Or feel the need to send out photo-cards of themselves a few times a year. I have no patience for my husband's family. Are you my SIL! DH parents gave us all framed photos of themselves once
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quince
Senior Member
Joined: Sept 23, 2011 17:51:12 GMT -5
Posts: 2,699
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Post by quince on Dec 22, 2014 17:37:31 GMT -5
I just don't understand why an adult couple with no kids would think that a framed photo of themselves is a great Christmas gift for all their relatives. Or feel the need to send out photo-cards of themselves a few times a year. I have no patience for my husband's family. Are you my SIL! DH parents gave us all framed photos of themselves once It's his brother. His brother's wife also sent out a letter asking for money to help her with starting up her business....My husband's brother makes 6 figures, and my husband was a grad student on a grad student stipend at the time. I have some feelings about these people.
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MarleyKeezy78
Senior Member
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Location: Sittin in the mitten
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Post by MarleyKeezy78 on Dec 22, 2014 17:40:20 GMT -5
Ahh quince Wow!
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The Captain
Junior Associate
Hugs are good...
Joined: Jan 4, 2011 16:21:23 GMT -5
Posts: 8,717
Location: State of confusion
Favorite Drink: Whinnnne
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Post by The Captain on Dec 22, 2014 17:43:23 GMT -5
I'm not sure the 8 bottles will get you through the first DAY! Yeah, especially since I have to share some of it! Better make sure DH has plenty of beer and that MIL opens the 1.75L quart of rum tomorrow night! Fixed. That will take care of all you problems, trust me on this
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TheHaitian
Senior Associate
Joined: Jul 27, 2014 19:39:10 GMT -5
Posts: 10,144
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Post by TheHaitian on Dec 22, 2014 17:44:03 GMT -5
Are you my SIL! DH parents gave us all framed photos of themselves once It's his brother. His brother's wife also sent out a letter asking for money to help her with starting up her business....My husband's brother makes 6 figures, and my husband was a grad student on a grad student stipend at the time. I have some feelings about these people. Wow... The "cohones" of some people is truly mind boggling.
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lynnerself
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 3, 2011 11:42:29 GMT -5
Posts: 4,166
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Post by lynnerself on Dec 22, 2014 17:57:26 GMT -5
let's start with the airing of the grievances.
Go! The same stupid staff making the same stupid mistakes. And I get to explain it to the boss.
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NoNamePerson
Distinguished Associate
Is There Anybody OUT There?
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 17:03:17 GMT -5
Posts: 26,217
Location: WITNESS PROTECTION
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Post by NoNamePerson on Dec 22, 2014 20:31:56 GMT -5
This thread has me I feel guilty that I don't have anything to add. So on that note I will head off for a drink and a smoke Catch ya later!!!!!!
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cronewitch
Junior Associate
I identify as a post-menopausal childless cat lady and I vote.
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Post by cronewitch on Dec 22, 2014 21:37:23 GMT -5
I don't have a job for the first time since 2001 for the holidays. This means I might forget which day is Christmas if I am not careful. I need to shop for nuts to make Chex mix and not forget, it is hard without a job to remember what day it is. I am not buying Christmas gifts for anyone so don't need to shop I have a bunch of Costco and Amazon gift cards $100 each I will randomly give as gifts. I have way to much wrapping paper I will never use because I don't buy gifts. My family is boring, no drunks, no fighting, everyone nice all the time, food always perfect, nothing interesting at all.
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msventoux
Senior Member
Joined: Feb 12, 2011 22:32:37 GMT -5
Posts: 3,037
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Post by msventoux on Dec 22, 2014 21:46:53 GMT -5
I don't have a job for the first time since 2001 for the holidays. This means I might forget which day is Christmas if I am not careful. I need to shop for nuts to make Chex mix and not forget, it is hard without a job to remember what day it is. I am not buying Christmas gifts for anyone so don't need to shop I have a bunch of Costco and Amazon gift cards $100 each I will randomly give as gifts. I have way to much wrapping paper I will never use because I don't buy gifts. My family is boring, no drunks, no fighting, everyone nice all the time, food always perfect, nothing interesting at all. You're retired and have plenty of time on your hands now. Get drunk and show up in a dress fashioned out of wrapping paper, and challenge one or more people to a fight. Or forgo the booze and show up as the Gift Card Fairy decked out in a toga and turban made of wrapping paper.
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Tennesseer
Member Emeritus
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 21:58:42 GMT -5
Posts: 64,539
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Post by Tennesseer on Dec 22, 2014 21:49:00 GMT -5
I don't have a job for the first time since 2001 for the holidays. This means I might forget which day is Christmas if I am not careful. I need to shop for nuts to make Chex mix and not forget, it is hard without a job to remember what day it is. I am not buying Christmas gifts for anyone so don't need to shop I have a bunch of Costco and Amazon gift cards $100 each I will randomly give as gifts. I have way to much wrapping paper I will never use because I don't buy gifts. My family is boring, no drunks, no fighting, everyone nice all the time, food always perfect, nothing interesting at all. Depending how long you have been retired, you will find every day is a saturday and calendars are almost meaningless.
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MarleyKeezy78
Senior Member
Joined: Jul 22, 2011 13:20:34 GMT -5
Posts: 3,226
Location: Sittin in the mitten
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Post by MarleyKeezy78 on Dec 22, 2014 21:56:11 GMT -5
Is it bad I wish I had a metal pole at the moment and not the stripper kind More like the kind to knock the sense into someone!
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GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
Senior Associate
"How you win matters." Ender, Ender's Game
Joined: Jan 2, 2011 13:33:09 GMT -5
Posts: 11,291
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Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on Dec 22, 2014 21:56:23 GMT -5
Let's see, where to begin, where to begin... 1. People who start Festivus threads really irk me. It's like you are practically giving Hallmark a license to create yet another holiday we need to buy cards for. 2. I work in retail. I am working retail at Christmas. Most customers are fabulous and totally understand how busy we are and patiently wait their turn. Some customers are jerks and need to shop somewhere else. Please cut your sales clerk a little slack this week. If you aren't satisfied with the service you receive during your next visit to a store, go ahead and complain. But this week, we're all just toast. 3. We are almost 6 months to the day of living out of suitcases and boxes in our 5th temporary "home". My job, along with everything else I do, is to keep spirits up and remind us all that this is just a great adventure we can laugh about down the road. I am so freaking tired of being the only one who keeps our spirits up. It would be nice for some other member of my family to take over that task for a day or two. I enjoy Christmas for the most part -- the lights, the parties, the brief respite from daily life to celebrate with friends and family. We are having a "different" Christmas this year -- not better, not worse, just different -- so still a joyous holiday. Or, so I thought. I completely failed to contemplate that Christmas would cause all of our stress/aggravation/grief/anxiety to bubble to the surface. Man, are we a cranky, bah-humbug bunch this year. 4. We lost most of our Christmas decorations when the house got crushed. Some were very sentimental, and we are definitely feeling the loss. No one was in the mood to get a tree, but I felt like I would be a complete parenting failure if we didn't at least make an attempt. So, I bought a tree on Friday. DH didn't put it up on Friday. He didn't put it up on Saturday. He tried to put it up yesterday around 5:00 (after considerable nagging by me) only to find that the stand isn't big enough. So, now that the work week has begun again, it will be on me to go find another tree stand. MAYBE we will get the tree up before Christmas. We only have lights and an angel tree topper for it (I don't want to rush out and buy cheap Chinese-made ornaments preferring to find replacements that maybe have some meaning for us). But, it will still be a Christmas tree. Which we will need to put presents under. 5. I wanted DH to use a ladder and hang some decorations outside, too. He just totally couldn't/wouldn't manage it (you know, how people go through some of the motions only to try and show that the ask "can't be done even though it genuinely can). So I used a step stool and hung them much lower than I would like. He kept saying how this whole house thing has been really difficult. Yes it has, but since I have handled ALL of the details since day one, it has been far more difficult on me and I'm still a fully functioning human being. (I can be such a bitch when people focus on the negative and ruin my optimistic mood.) 6. I LOVE Creme Brûlée. I have been out to dinner twice in the past couple of weeks at restaurants that listed Creme Brûlée on the dessert menu. BOTH restaurants were out of Creme Brûlée by the time I ordered dessert. 7. I wanted to order a bunch of gifts from LL Bean and they are sold out of almost everything I wanted to order. How does LL Bean sell out of stuff? They sell the same things year in, year out. There are no new styles coming in. I can buy the same jacket I bought 5 years ago this year, but it is sold out. Unthinkable. Unheard of. UnAmerican. K. Think I'm done for now. If not, I'll be back. In the meantime, next?
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Malarky
Junior Associate
Truth and snark are equal opportunity here.
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 21:00:51 GMT -5
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Post by Malarky on Dec 22, 2014 21:59:41 GMT -5
let's start with the airing of the grievances.
Go! Order deadline was last Thursday, folks. One week in advance of the holiday. Same as it is every year for Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas. I'm already working 12 hour days and a 14 day stretch. We cannot pull stuff out of our asses. We need to schedule staff, order supplies and then produce the product. All baked fresh daily. So I'm sorry/not sorry that you forgot this week is Christmas and you need dessert for 30. Whatever we can produce past the thousand orders we took from the people who ordered before the deadline will be available on a first come/first serve basis. And the words: "Can you just set something aside for me" mean the same thing as "May I order something." No. Just freaking no.
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GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
Senior Associate
"How you win matters." Ender, Ender's Game
Joined: Jan 2, 2011 13:33:09 GMT -5
Posts: 11,291
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Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on Dec 22, 2014 22:03:14 GMT -5
Here Malarky But, take it easy on them. Cuz, you know, the date Christmas falls on is a complete surprise every year. We got no advance warning. It could be ANY day and how can you prepare. I mean, it's not like Christmas is on the same freaking day every single year. Be it baked goods or gifts, people just don't plan ahead.
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Malarky
Junior Associate
Truth and snark are equal opportunity here.
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 21:00:51 GMT -5
Posts: 5,313
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Post by Malarky on Dec 22, 2014 22:05:00 GMT -5
Is there another part to this exercise? I never did watch Seinfeld. After the grievances do we get to wrack our brains for the happy, upbeat shit in life?
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Deleted
Joined: Oct 11, 2024 8:21:02 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Dec 22, 2014 22:06:02 GMT -5
Is there another part to this exercise? I never did watch Seinfeld. After the grievances do we get to wrack our brains for the happy, upbeat shit in life? I don't remember that part.
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swamp
Community Leader
THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 16:03:22 GMT -5
Posts: 45,622
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Post by swamp on Dec 22, 2014 22:12:10 GMT -5
Is there another part to this exercise? I never did watch Seinfeld. After the grievances do we get to wrack our brains for the happy, upbeat shit in life? Next is Feats of Strength. It's where you get to kick some asses.
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Jaguar
Administrator
Fear does not stop death. It stops life.
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Post by Jaguar on Dec 22, 2014 22:17:31 GMT -5
I just wish my BIL would lighten up some. He's a major penny pincher and it's sad to see him berating my sister over her own money that she spends. They have completely separate finances.
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Malarky
Junior Associate
Truth and snark are equal opportunity here.
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 21:00:51 GMT -5
Posts: 5,313
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Post by Malarky on Dec 22, 2014 22:32:06 GMT -5
Is there another part to this exercise? I never did watch Seinfeld. After the grievances do we get to wrack our brains for the happy, upbeat shit in life? Next is Feats of Strength. It's where you get to kick some asses. Awesome!!! I'm lining up all the whiners who didn't know Christmas is coming.
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MarleyKeezy78
Senior Member
Joined: Jul 22, 2011 13:20:34 GMT -5
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Location: Sittin in the mitten
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Post by MarleyKeezy78 on Dec 22, 2014 23:39:44 GMT -5
<<Hands Malarky the aluminum pole>> Have at it!
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Wisconsin Beth
Distinguished Associate
No, we don't walk away. But when we're holding on to something precious, we run.
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 11:59:36 GMT -5
Posts: 30,626
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Dec 23, 2014 9:12:21 GMT -5
Is it bad I wish I had a metal pole at the moment and not the stripper kind More like the kind to knock the sense into someone! Psst - wouldn't that be the multi-purpose Festivus Pole?
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