Re-Gifting?

[Bonny]

Yes, as we approach that time of year someone has to bring up the subject. Might as well be me.

www.msn.com/en-us/money/personalfinance/how-to-win-friends-and-family-while-regifting/ar-BBh0BXd?ocid=AARDHP

Do you do it? What are your "rules"?

I frequently re-gift wine since I'm not a buttery/oakey Chardonnay type person.

I've been doing a little re-gifting of jewelry to my niece. I would love to re-gift some of the silverplate we've gotten from MIL to one of my nephews. Still trying to work that one out in my head.

I'm generally up-front with the re-gifting because there's usually a good story behind it.

Share your stories, especially really funny ones!

[Malarky]

I alway regift candles.  I'm really sensitive to perfumey smells and can't stand Yankee Candles and the like.  Even unscented candles bother me, it's all the crap in the air.

Recently, DS decided to burn on of my candles I was planning on regifting.  
So then I couldn't breathe in my own house and I had to spend more money on a present.

MIL regifts all the time.  For her birthday, SIL got back the belt from an outfit she bought MIL last Christmas.  The siblings have decided that they are no longer spending money buying her or each other gifts.  They're just going to keep circulating the current crop.

[Ava]

My mother is the queen of re-gifting. I'm the princess.

We always attach a label with the name of the person who gave us that gift, to make sure it won't be given back to the same person or someone in the same circle.

I think it's a great idea when you have something you won't use but know someone else would enjoy it.

What's the option, to threw it away or let it gather dust in the basement?

Funny story; years ago I was living in the old country and a friend had just had a baby. I was BROKE but wanted to bring something with me when I visited. Digging around at home I found a hot water bottle in the shape of a bear, it was meant for a child. This was the beginning of summer, so totally inappropriate gift. It was all I had. I gifted that to the baby. Two years later my friend tells me the boy adores that hot water bottle and screams if it's not in his bed at night.

[billisonboard]

Dec 21, 2014 11:03:20 GMT -5 Ava said:

... What's the option, to threw it away or let it gather dust in the basement?
...

Donating to a thrift store is a third option.

[Deleted]

It depends.  If it's a piece of crap gift that no one could ever use or want, it goes to Goodwill.  However, I have re-gifted some of my mother's jewelry to my niece, telling her just where it came from, so she can re-gift to her daughter when she is old enough. 

@Ava, that is a beautiful story!

 

[billisonboard]

Dec 21, 2014 11:18:09 GMT -5 @ezzie said:

It depends.  If it's a piece of crap gift that no one could ever use or want, it goes to Goodwill. ...

Cuz ya know, people less well off shop there. 

[Deleted]

Dec 21, 2014 11:25:43 GMT -5 billisonboard said:

Dec 21, 2014 11:18:09 GMT -5 @ezzie said:

It depends.  If it's a piece of crap gift that no one could ever use or want, it goes to Goodwill. ...

Cuz ya know, people less well off shop there. 

One man's trash is another's treasure.  Just because I think it's a crap gift doesn't mean everyone will!!!!  It has nothing to do with "less well off" and more to do with individual taste!  I did not mean what you thought I meant!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Bonny]

Dec 21, 2014 11:25:43 GMT -5 billisonboard said:

Dec 21, 2014 11:18:09 GMT -5 @ezzie said:

It depends.  If it's a piece of crap gift that no one could ever use or want, it goes to Goodwill. ...

Cuz ya know, people less well off shop there. 

We have theatre and craft groups in town who shop at our "Boutique" (no kidding that's what Goodwill labels it) Goodwill.

You know the old adage, "One person's trash is another person's treasure..."

[Bonny]

Dec 21, 2014 11:32:49 GMT -5 @ezzie said:

Dec 21, 2014 11:25:43 GMT -5 billisonboard said:

Cuz ya know, people less well off shop there. 

One man's trash is another's treasure.  Just because I think it's a crap gift doesn't mean everyone will!!!!  It has nothing to do with "less well off" and more to do with individual taste!  I did not mean what you thought I meant!!!!!!!!!!!!

lol, ezzie you beat me to it!

[billisonboard]

... If it's a piece of crap gift that no one could ever use or want, ...

... "One person's trash is another person's treasure..."

[Deleted]

@billisonboard - I don't quite get you.  But maybe I should have prefaced what I said "in my opinion".  I have shopped in Goodwill, and have been happy as a clam with what I bought; things that no one re-gifted.

[Deleted]

I don't exactly regift. I pass on stuff that is nice but I just won't use. Often things like serving platters. I don't host that many gatherings and somehow I've already acquired a few.

[billisonboard]

Dec 21, 2014 12:47:36 GMT -5 @ezzie said:

@billisonboard - I don't quite get you. ..

I read the words that were posted and responded to those words. The words posted had a negative emotional impact for me. 


Here is another thing to consider:

Before giving your gently used items to us, ask yourself if you would give it to a relative or a friend. Our shoppers are looking for quality second-hand goods, and disposing of items we can’t sell costs a lot of money. Every dollar we spend disposing of unusable donations is a dollar we cannot spend on our services to the community. www.goodwillakron.org/about/environmental/what-happens-to-your-donations

Unfortunately, the article at the link below is not quotable. Hopefully you can read where it states the $150,000 annual expense that the region's Goodwills incur because:  "If it's a piece of crap gift that no one could ever use or want, it goes to Goodwill."   news.google.com/newspapers?nid=1346&dat=20000918&id=vp4sAAAAIBAJ&sjid=ZP0DAAAAIBAJ&pg=5150,6236400

[Bonny]

Dec 21, 2014 13:15:50 GMT -5 billisonboard said:

Dec 21, 2014 12:47:36 GMT -5 @ezzie said:

@billisonboard - I don't quite get you. ..

I read the words that were posted and responded to those words. The words posted had a negative emotional impact for me. 


Here is another thing to consider:

Before giving your gently used items to us, ask yourself if you would give it to a relative or a friend. Our shoppers are looking for quality second-hand goods, and disposing of items we can’t sell costs a lot of money. Every dollar we spend disposing of unusable donations is a dollar we cannot spend on our services to the community. www.goodwillakron.org/about/environmental/what-happens-to-your-donations

Unfortunately, the article at the link below is not quotable. Hopefully you can read where it states the $150,000 annual expense that the region's Goodwills incur because:  "If it's a piece of crap gift that no one could ever use or want, it goes to Goodwill."   news.google.com/newspapers?nid=1346&dat=20000918&id=vp4sAAAAIBAJ&sjid=ZP0DAAAAIBAJ&pg=5150,6236400

OK so @ezzie's language was a little exaggerated and should have been something along the lines of "When I get a gift that neither I nor anyone that I know would like I donate it to Goodwill".

Fixed?

I use the word "crap" a lot.  I'm desperately fighting a sense of feeling overwhelmed and guilty about all this "stuff" I have that I don't have space for and am tired of taking care of/storing. I have my own hoarding issues plus a DH who believes that anything his family ever owned is valuable. Plus looming on the horizon is my MIL's 3000 sq.ft. house which is packed to the gills. The research to investigate value is exhausting.

Yes I have fantasies about taking a dumpster of everything to Goodwill.  No, it's not likely that I will. I'll just keep complaining here.

[Deleted]

If it's a piece of crap gift that no one could ever use or want, it goes to Goodwill.

No, ezzie is getting called out on exactly what she said and what she does. The best response now is "I didn't realise it cost Goodwill that much. I'll throw out my own garbage from now on"

[billisonboard]

Dec 21, 2014 13:33:11 GMT -5 Bonny said:

... OK so @ezzie's language was a little exaggerated and should have been something along the lines of "When I get a gift that neither I nor anyone that I know would like I donate it to Goodwill".

Fixed?

...

If that is what she meant, then she certainly should have said that. If she meant what she said, then she was spot on saying that. Again, I simply responded to what was said. I had no way of knowing she wasn't honestly saying, "I use the Goodwill as a garbage ".  Some people do.

[weltschmerz]

I got a fancy 6-piece set of chocolate-scented lotions and potions and bubble baths.

I loathe chocolate.

That's being re-gifted, definitely.

It's like giving me "Eau de Cat Litter" cologne. No thank you.

[Deleted]

@billisonboard     I was remiss in stating what I meant exactly.  ..and for that I apologize.

I do know the difference between a dumpster and Goodwill.

[Deleted]

Dec 21, 2014 13:36:42 GMT -5 laterbloomer said:

If it's a piece of crap gift that no one could ever use or want, it goes to Goodwill.

No, ezzie is getting called out on exactly what she said and what she does. The best response now is "I didn't realise it cost Goodwill that much. I'll throw out my own garbage from now on"

Later - I can certainly respond for myself, thanks.

[Deleted]

Dec 21, 2014 13:33:11 GMT -5 Bonny said:

Dec 21, 2014 13:15:50 GMT -5 billisonboard said:

I read the words that were posted and responded to those words. The words posted had a negative emotional impact for me. 


Here is another thing to consider:

Before giving your gently used items to us, ask yourself if you would give it to a relative or a friend. Our shoppers are looking for quality second-hand goods, and disposing of items we can’t sell costs a lot of money. Every dollar we spend disposing of unusable donations is a dollar we cannot spend on our services to the community. www.goodwillakron.org/about/environmental/what-happens-to-your-donations

Unfortunately, the article at the link below is not quotable. Hopefully you can read where it states the $150,000 annual expense that the region's Goodwills incur because:  "If it's a piece of crap gift that no one could ever use or want, it goes to Goodwill."   news.google.com/newspapers?nid=1346&dat=20000918&id=vp4sAAAAIBAJ&sjid=ZP0DAAAAIBAJ&pg=5150,6236400

OK so @ezzie's language was a little exaggerated and should have been something along the lines of "When I get a gift that neither I nor anyone that I know would like I donate it to Goodwill".

Fixed?

I use the word "crap" a lot.  I'm desperately fighting a sense of feeling overwhelmed and guilty about all this "stuff" I have that I don't have space for and am tired of taking care of/storing. I have my own hoarding issues plus a DH who believes that anything his family ever owned is valuable. Plus looming on the horizon is my MIL's 3000 sq.ft. house which is packed to the gills. The research to investigate value is exhausting.

Yes I have fantasies about taking a dumpster of everything to Goodwill.  No, it's not likely that I will. I'll just keep complaining here.

Thank you for understanding what I actually meant!  I had the same situation when my mom passed away.  She was a hoarder and hadn't cleaned out since my dad passed in 2005.  I think Goodwill made out like a bandit at all the nice things we donated that neither my sister nor I had space for.  So, bottom line, I am not costing Goodwill a dime!!

[Deleted]

Dec 21, 2014 14:14:20 GMT -5 @ezzie said:

Dec 21, 2014 13:36:42 GMT -5 laterbloomer said:

No, ezzie is getting called out on exactly what she said and what she does. The best response now is "I didn't realise it cost Goodwill that much. I'll throw out my own garbage from now on"

Later - I can certainly respond for myself, thanks.

I wasn't talking for you, I was talking about you.

[Shooby]

I will regift new gifts but not used. So, sometimes I get a duplicate of something I already have. Like I got a brand new rice cooker so I think I will probably regift that because I already have one.

[tloonya]

Not re-gifting story but...
Friend gave me tiny coffee cups with some Chinese décor and tiny saucers.
I had a few from previous friends and family. All was well hidden because I can not
imagine what would be the use if you don't make expresso and having poor taste.
All of those were eye-bleeders.

One day I took all of these boxes when friend came in and she started to laugh
uncontrollably and make fun of all these cups. (about 10 years went by since she
gave it to me).
I said yeah, I do not know what people think when they choose to waste money on
something no one can use...and then she froze, she had opened hers...and I could see
she remembered...and I stared her down and we had time of our lives ROFLOAOffff 

I still have them all, they aren't even suitable for donations.

[sesfw]

Cuz ya know, people less well off shop there.

I shop thrift stores all the time and I've found some amazing things.  I can afford to buy new ...... I choose not to if I can find it elsewhere.

I give things away on the free section of Craigslist, to various thrift stores .... and I used to give things away on Freecycle until this local group started micro-managing too much.

Just makes YM sense to me.

[Phoenix84]

I've never re gifted. I've always viewed it as a bit tacky. But I can see certain situations where it might be fine, like as a joke or spoof, or if there's something of yours that someone else might genuinely want.

[Shooby]

If I received a duplicate of something new I don't have a problem regifting a new gift.

[Deleted]

I am definitely a very careful re-gifter.  Sometimes I receive truly lovely items that are simply not my taste, a duplicate of something I have, or something we don't eat.  Those unused goodies go straight to my gift closet and will be shared at some point with a friend who will appreciate them.  Even though I love a good bottle of wine better than most  , I really don't need three electric corkscrews, do I?

Fortunately, I participate in several White Elephant gift exchanges that give me a great opportunity to pass along some gifts. Several years ago a participant in one group put an inherited mink jacket into the mix and things got pretty rough.  Today I upcycled some Bath & Body Works body lotion and fragrance mist in a fragrance I already had a good supply of.  Better in someone else's home for enjoyment than sitting unused in my linen closet.

[kittensaver]

I'm a careful re-gifter too. No sense in a nice (new) gift sitting endlessly in a drawer or closet just because I don't want it or can't use it. I also tag everything (who gave it to me/us, and when) to avoid embarrassing situations (sorry, no funny stories to tell ). Stuff that is not pristine but still useable goes to charity, not to re-gifting.

I don't consider passing down family jewelry to be re-gifting. That is an inheritance . All the women in my family have always been very clear that if you don't want the piece of family jewelry, you are to give it to a family member who DOES want it. I'm talking about the good stuff (diamonds, gold, platinum, pearls), not costume jewelry.

[Bonny]

Dec 23, 2014 19:01:03 GMT -5 kittensaver said:

I don't consider passing down family jewelry to be re-gifting. That is an inheritance . All the women in my family have always been very clear that if you don't want the piece of family jewelry, you are to give it to a family member who DOES want it. I'm talking about the good stuff (diamonds, gold, platinum, pearls), not costume jewelry.

LOL, most of the "family" jewelry I have from my side of the family IS costume jewelry. I took one piece to a jeweler that my grandmother talked about for years and finally gave to me when I was 21 and 'responsible enough"   . This was clearly a piece that was made for a young girl, say 14 or 15. She kept going on about the diamond chip et cetera. The metal was pot metal and the chip was some kind of crystal. I gave it to my niece on her 15th birthday and told her the story. Even though it wasn't monetarily valuable she loved the fact that she had something from her great grandmother.

[qofcc]

I've been known to bring a bottle of wine to a party that someone else brought to my house but I don't normally regift random stuff.

My mom does it all the time & it drives me nuts. First she'll call me & say money is tight for everyone so the adults shouldn't exchange gifts & just buy for their own family and she'll only buy for the kids (this is supposed to apply to me and my sister not buying for each other or each other's kids). Then as the holiday approaches she'll say well if you're going to get me something I'd like x... (and she knows I normally have my shopping done by the first of Dec so this means I have to go get that or tell her it's too late she's already getting something else) and she says she's giving me something from her house. This year she said she was sending my daughter & I two bracelets and we could choose which we liked better... one was a hideous gold chain bracelet that was a gift with purchase from Victoria's secret (I assume from the 80s) and a "handmade" crystal bead bracelet (that looked like it came from one of those boxed craft kits marketed to pre-teen girls.... we agreed they're both bring donated to goodwill but the gift box is nice. If I abide by the no gift rule and don't get anything for my sisters family I get something from them & have to go out & get something that will arrive late and if I do send something I'll get a call asking what I want. Then I get a call from my mom complaining about how much it cost to ship this stuff abd now she has some more stuff gor the kids that won't arrive until after Christmas because the line was too long at the post office.

Can I adopt a normal family who puts money or a gift card in a card for out of town adult relatives, mails it to arrive on time, doesn't request something specific a week before Christmas & calls it good? And I'm not being greedy but I think it's ridiculous for a woman who inherited a quarter of a million dollars a few years ago to cry poor & put us through all this hassle.