No Christmas?

[tractor]

Am I the only one who doesn't do Christmas? It's not for religious reasons (I'm not Jewish, Muslim, etc), I just don't get the need to spend all kinds of money to buy gifts for people, including immediate family. I see all these pleas for $ so every kids can have a gift under the tree, but my kids don't get gifts, why should I buy something for some other kid? It's not a money issue, we can and have bought everything we needed, and many wants over the year. If we even do a tree it will be a big deal, at this point I doubt we will. We will spend some time with my family, but no gift giving, and my wife's family doesn't get together so it's just another laid back weekend.

It's not that I don't like Christmas, I don't like the over commercialization of Christmas. I see/read about so many people getting stressed out about the holidays and buying the right gift, or worrying about offending someone. I just don't get it.

[yogiii]

I like Christmas but I agree that the gift thing is totally out of hand.  It's nice for kids but I've given up stressing about what to give adults.  I wish there could be an unsaid rule that adults don't exchange gifts, so instead they all get gift cards from me.  I don't have time to wander around malls searching for the perfect thing. 

As I've gotten older I've totally turned into a weird person who hates holidays but that's due to the fact that I'm now involved in the drama of having to cater to multiple sides.  I've already told my DH, we'll be the ILs that do Christmas, Thanksgiving, etc.. when the kids and their spouses have the free time.  I won't force them to go multiple places on one day or pick me first.  I don't see anything special about having to see people Christmas Day vs 2 days later. 

[violagirl]

I don't celebrate Christmas for religious reasons but I've never felt like I was missing anything. 

I understand people wanting to get together with family and friends and all of that kind of stuff. It is the one time of year when almost everyone has a few days off all at once so it is relaxing. We are going to a friends house for brunch.

If I feel like giving a gift to someone - I'll just give it to them. No special occasion required other than I saw something that I thought they would like or I was thinking of them, so bought something. No reciprocal gifting required. 

I also find the older my friends and I get - the less things we "need". Don't get me a punch bowl or a knickknack just because you had to get SOMETHING. 

[chiver78]

I would prefer not to do Christmas, but my family seems to like it. I'm buying a gift for my sis, BIL, and something for my parents together. if I spend $200 I'll be shocked. last year, they all pleaded no gifts b/c $ was tight for all of them. don't have to twist MY arm, really. and then this year again with the gifts. oh well.

for me, I am a recovering Catholic, so I'm just along for the ride. I love that they are moving toward doing the family dinner on the 24th. that means I have the 25th to myself, and I'm going skiing again this year.    honestly, I expect this to be the last Christmas that I need to humor their need to have me at a Christmas dinner. it's just another day to me.....and I'll be 2+ hours south of my sis/BIL once I buy my house.

I totally hear you about the over-commercialization of the holiday. just like Valentine's Day is a Hallmark holiday, Christmas has become something completely different than what it used to be. not even going to touch how different it used to be from what it originally was (b/c that will get this post zapped ) but even just comparing to the middle of last century - it doesn't seem like it's so much about spending time with loved ones as it is who can get the best gifts. sorry, but if I want something, I'm going to just go buy it for myself.

[Deleted]

Dec 9, 2014 10:22:46 GMT -5 tractor said:

Am I the only one who doesn't do Christmas? It's not for religious reasons (I'm not Jewish, Muslim, etc), I just don't get the need to spend all kinds of money to buy gifts for people, including immediate family. I see all these pleas for $ so every kids can have a gift under the tree, but my kids don't get gifts, why should I buy something for some other kid? It's not a money issue, we can and have bought everything we needed, and many wants over the year. If we even do a tree it will be a big deal, at this point I doubt we will. We will spend some time with my family, but no gift giving, and my wife's family doesn't get together so it's just another laid back weekend.

It's not that I don't like Christmas, I don't like the over commercialization of Christmas. I see/read about so many people getting stressed out about the holidays and buying the right gift, or worrying about offending someone. I just don't get it.

so you never did christmas even when your kids were little?

and the reason for the pleas for every kid to have a gift is because for most of them, it's probably the only time of year that they get something for them to enjoy.

[ArchietheDragon]

Dec 9, 2014 10:22:46 GMT -5 tractor said:

Am I the only one who doesn't do Christmas? It's not for religious reasons (I'm not Jewish, Muslim, etc), I just don't get the need to spend all kinds of money to buy gifts for people, including immediate family. I see all these pleas for $ so every kids can have a gift under the tree, but my kids don't get gifts, why should I buy something for some other kid? It's not a money issue, we can and have bought everything we needed, and many wants over the year. If we even do a tree it will be a big deal, at this point I doubt we will. We will spend some time with my family, but no gift giving, and my wife's family doesn't get together so it's just another laid back weekend.

It's not that I don't like Christmas, I don't like the over commercialization of Christmas. I see/read about so many people getting stressed out about the holidays and buying the right gift, or worrying about offending someone. I just don't get it.

In the words of Maeby Fünke, "Marry Me". 

[Bonny]

Meh, it's what you make of it.

This may sound strange but I work with the structure. Christmas forces me to pause and take stock of what we've accomplished during the year and what we can look forward to the next year. It also makes me take the time to send the Christmas cards and find out what's going on with people I care about during a slower time of year (for me). It makes me take time to count my blessings.

We don't have kids and we're not big gift givers. In many ways I dread getting gifts because we have way too much crap as it is.

The only really annoying thing for me is my "in" box and mail box getting full from all the "deals" and catalogues.

[tractor]

Dec 9, 2014 10:37:00 GMT -5 @singlemominmd said:

Dec 9, 2014 10:22:46 GMT -5 tractor said:

Am I the only one who doesn't do Christmas? It's not for religious reasons (I'm not Jewish, Muslim, etc), I just don't get the need to spend all kinds of money to buy gifts for people, including immediate family. I see all these pleas for $ so every kids can have a gift under the tree, but my kids don't get gifts, why should I buy something for some other kid? It's not a money issue, we can and have bought everything we needed, and many wants over the year. If we even do a tree it will be a big deal, at this point I doubt we will. We will spend some time with my family, but no gift giving, and my wife's family doesn't get together so it's just another laid back weekend.

It's not that I don't like Christmas, I don't like the over commercialization of Christmas. I see/read about so many people getting stressed out about the holidays and buying the right gift, or worrying about offending someone. I just don't get it.

so you never did christmas even when your kids were little?

and the reason for the pleas for every kid to have a gift is because for most of them, it's probably the only time of year that they get something for them to enjoy.

We did a very limited Christmas when the kids were young, meaning one or two small gifts. My kids are both teenagers now and if you were to ask them, they also feel Christmas is overrated. Nothing on their list this year. I will say that even though we often don't have a tree, they both get the same present that they enjoy every year, a can of black olives. So we might spend $2 on them this year.

Strange I know. We stopped adult gifts years ago, more hassle than it was worth.

[Deleted]

I just have to say, I hear everyone complaining about all these gifts that they have to buy for everyone, and I would love to have people that I have to buy gifts for.  My only family (other than kids) is my sister 12 hours away from me. so everyone needs to quit their bitchin'

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I love Christmas. I don't run around spending thousands and stressing about "perfect" gifts because I don't buy into the idea that I need to spend that much or that the "perfect" gift is whatever Wal-mart tells me I need to buy on Black Friday.

If we had to shop for adults in DH's family that would suck, there are way too many people. They are also the types to constantly try to one up each other. I HATED secret santa with his family and was so relieved when they decided to stop and do gifts for the kids only.

Then that became a problem because the kids are spoiled rotten for the reasons above. I stopped participating and nobody noticed. But now I feel pressured to do so because they buy my kids presents.

That doesn't mean I am going to even bother trying to compete, I don't care. I decided I am stealing the idea of movie boxes from the SS thread. One box for each family, boom done.

I like shopping for DH. I put a lot of time into his presents, but tend to spend very little. This year I made him a collage with photos ranging from when we started dating to Abigail's birth. I think he's really going to like it and it only cost me $28.

I love decorating the house.  My mother loves Christmas and so did my maternal grandmother.  Decorating for me isn't giving into commercialism but sharing something with my family and remembering people.  Pretty much every Christmas ornament I own has a story attached to it.  I enjoy passing down the traditions to Gwen.

I'm starting to get into holiday baking.  My mom does cookies and decorates fabulous gingerbread men.  I figured out a couple of years ago how to make kolaches.  My great grandmother used to make them but the recipe got lost years ago.  I decided to give it a try.  My dad, grandma/great uncle were all thrilled when I handed them each a batch.

[Deleted]

Dec 9, 2014 10:58:00 GMT -5 tractor said:

Dec 9, 2014 10:37:00 GMT -5 @singlemominmd said:

so you never did christmas even when your kids were little?

and the reason for the pleas for every kid to have a gift is because for most of them, it's probably the only time of year that they get something for them to enjoy.

We did a very limited Christmas when the kids were young, meaning one or two small gifts. My kids are both teenagers now and if you were to ask them, they also feel Christmas is overrated. Nothing on their list this year. I will say that even though we often don't have a tree, they both get the same present that they enjoy every year, a can of black olives. So we might spend $2 on them this year.

Strange I know. We stopped adult gifts years ago, more hassle than it was worth.

so what does not doing gifts have to do with decorating and making cookies and having parties?  I love love love christmas decorating and wish I had a bigger house so I could decorate more.

[ArchietheDragon]

Dec 9, 2014 10:58:00 GMT -5 tractor said:

Dec 9, 2014 10:37:00 GMT -5 @singlemominmd said:

so you never did christmas even when your kids were little?

and the reason for the pleas for every kid to have a gift is because for most of them, it's probably the only time of year that they get something for them to enjoy.

We did a very limited Christmas when the kids were young, meaning one or two small gifts. My kids are both teenagers now and if you were to ask them, they also feel Christmas is overrated. Nothing on their list this year. I will say that even though we often don't have a tree, they both get the same present that they enjoy every year, a can of black olives. So we might spend $2 on them this year.

Strange I know. We stopped adult gifts years ago, more hassle than it was worth.

can't they buy their own can of olives?

[tractor]

Dec 9, 2014 11:04:26 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

Dec 9, 2014 10:58:00 GMT -5 tractor said:

We did a very limited Christmas when the kids were young, meaning one or two small gifts. My kids are both teenagers now and if you were to ask them, they also feel Christmas is overrated. Nothing on their list this year. I will say that even though we often don't have a tree, they both get the same present that they enjoy every year, a can of black olives. So we might spend $2 on them this year.

Strange I know. We stopped adult gifts years ago, more hassle than it was worth.

can't they buy their own can of olives?

Yes, I might suggest that this year so I can spend the money on scratch-offs

[tractor]

I get the decorating, we just don't do it. At this point the only thing we have that's "Christmasy" is a card we got in the mail sitting in the table, does that count?

[NancysSummerSip]

I'm Jewish, so Christmas was what the other kids in my neighborhood celebrated when I was a kid. They were jealous of us anyway, because we got gifts on eight days and they got them on only one.

Now, DH and I do an exchange. I don't buy them for my brothers or SILs. My nieces and nephews get gift cards and cash. I do tip some personal service providers (and I am a very good tipper, because these people are doing things that I cannot, will not or don't have the time to do). That's it. We do decorate, but not extravagantly. We do indulge in some special eats over the holidays, but that's about as crazy as it gets.

[giramomma]

When my mom was depressed, we didn't really do Christmas growing up.
I didn't say anything, but as it turned out, as a child, it was important for me to have a tree, have some cookies, etc. Actually, writing this out, I'm reminding myself that I need to remember this perspective for my own children. I've been slacking a little bit. (We didn't decorate Halloween cut out cookies, and the kids noticed that..)

I think there's a happy medium between buying a mountain of gifts, and driving to visit 9392 family members in 48 hours and doing nothing.

I wouldn't not giving gifts. I tell family I appreciate them and thank them. Gift giving is just another way to say "thank you."

We also are not in a position to buy our children wants routinely. I mean, I guess my kids get all of their wants met in terms of activities. But, they don't get most of their "stuff" wants. So, for one day, I am happy to indulge. Even if we had more money, I'm not sure every time my kids wanted something, I'd say "OK." Things like ipads, smart phones, would no longer be special. I'm not sure I want to start teaching my 10 and 7 year old that these are every day items. But, I'm also fighting against sending them to a school where most parents are affluent. (SAHMs have nannies.)

And, as an adult, frankly, it's nice to have someone else indulge me. I figure this year, I spent about $100 on my "wants." and put off spending on needs, because of other financial things that have come up.

So, my kids get 3 gifts from us, and one from Santa. We buy gifts for extended family, mostly consumables (favorite restaurants, experiences) to not add to the clutter.

When our first came along, we made the rule that Christmas morning would ALWAYS be spent at our house.

This year, more of holidays are being sucked up for family obligations. But, my BIL is *hopefully* only getting married once, and other relatives we see once a year.

[Deleted]

I'm not crazy about Christmas.  If it wasn't for the kids, I could totally see blowing it off. 

[giramomma]

Dec 9, 2014 11:10:22 GMT -5 NancysSummerSip said:

I'm Jewish, so Christmas was what the other kids in my neighborhood celebrated when I was a kid. They were jealous of us anyway, because we got gifts on eight days and they got them on only one.

My neighbors are Jewish. They do Hanukkah and Christmas. But they don't do St. Nick. Stockings. I told the oldest he should try to do St. Nick as well, and get gifts for half of December

[NastyWoman]

I love Xmas, the decorating, the cooking, finding presents for everyone on my list. And most of all I love having my family with me for a few days. The exact day we celebrate is not that important and as a result this year Xmas will fall on Dec 20th.

It helps that gift buying is not stressful ( thank you Amazon and all of your ilk), my family is happy just be together and everyone enjoys the little time we have all together in one place - not an easy feat when you live on two different continents and the closest family member lives > 900 miles away.   -christmasangel-Let the celebration begin 

[swasat]

We are THAT family that celebrates every holiday, no matter what the religion. LOL

You'll find us lighting candles during the Hindu festival of Diwali, the kids decorating and lighting a menorah during Hanukkah, eating sweets during Eid, celebrating Chinese new year  and what not.

So of course Christmas is celebrated   The tree has been up for a week now. Christmas lighting put up. There is very little adult gift giving that happens in our families, so its mostly a few gifts for the kids. The kids and I will bake and decorate cookies near to Christmas and decoerate a gingerbread house. Other than that its pretty cool. A few parties to attend. Thats all. Since I am not hosting any parties life is cool for me  Even when I host I never go overbaord so never felt the pressure.

[Abby Normal]

I love christmas.  I love decorating and making my house look different for a whole month.  I love the smell of the tree.  We don't do too much in the way of presents.  We buy for each other and DS of course, a couple nieces, and our parents.  That is it.

But it gives me something to focus on while the days are getting shorter and shorter.   I hate it when I come to work and it's dark and I go home in the dark.  Sucks.  Focusing on christmas keeps me from getting light depression.  Because by the time christmas gets here the days are getting longer.  

[gooddecisions]

I took a good 15 year break from Christmas because I didn't have kids and don't go to church. Now, I have two little ones and love making the magic come alive for them. We pick out a tree, deck the halls, put up lights, go caroling, make cookies and salt dough ornaments, have fun with elf on the shelf, take pictures with Santa, fill stockings and open presents on Christmas morning. I spend maybe $100 on gifts, not a big deal. It's fun to finally have a family to create these memories with.

[cael]

I love Christmas, but mostly the decorating, baking/food, music, and pretty tree! I could do with very little in the way of gifts and not even notice if I had the atmosphere I love with music and lights and the tree and all.

Re: music, which is possibly the most important thing to me - I'm happily getting my fill this year!! Between this past Saturday and next Sunday, I have 3 rehearsals and 4 concerts to play, and tonight we're going to the Boston Pops (at least I get to just watch this one). Tomorrow's my only night off from music this week... and I'll probably practice anyway. As long as I have all this music craziness, the Christmas eve service at my church, and a nice tree and decorations at home, I'm happy. Gifts are pretty low on the list of things that make Christmas for me, although I do like watching DH open his things lol.

[Regis]

Dec 9, 2014 10:58:28 GMT -5 @singlemominmd said:

and I would love to have people that I have to buy gifts for.

I have college tuition bills due for both my son and daughter right at Christmas.  If you're really looking for a gift to give, those are available!  

[Deleted]

Dec 9, 2014 12:52:25 GMT -5 Regis said:

Dec 9, 2014 10:58:28 GMT -5 @singlemominmd said:

and I would love to have people that I have to buy gifts for.

I have college tuition bills due for both my son and daughter right at Christmas.  If you're really looking for a gift to give, those are available!  

I have 2 of my own in college but thanks for the offer....

[daisy]

Dec 9, 2014 11:13:25 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

I'm not crazy about Christmas.  If it wasn't for the kids, I could totally see blowing it off.  

I'm a Bah Humbug Christmas kind of person, DH is a Christmas-aholic. He would spend twice our annual income at Christmas if he could. Last year I think he did! He kept bringing gifts out of hidden places for everyone. It's us, my two, his two -one is married with a 12yo and my mom. There were so many presents I wanted to just scream. It reminded me of my ex-in laws. I think they spent a minimum of 1k on each person. Most of which got returned or donated because she didn't put much thought into the purchases.

My aunt, cousins and family go to Hawaii every year and that's Christmas. I'd vote for that if I could.

[zibazinski]

The good thing is that my kids are older and they tell me what they want. DS wants a new mattress and a blender. Sigh DD wants new sandals and a purse and a necklace. Sigh. Christmas is easier but not as much fun as when they were little.

[Angel!]

I love Christmas. I like getting together with my family for dinner. I like doing a reasonable amount of gifts. I like the decorations.  I really like it so much more now with young kids & experiencing Santa & presents through their eyes.

For me it totally isn't about the religious aspects of the holiday (I'm atheist) so I could care less about the commercialization. It is fun & festive.

[movingforward]

I don't really do Christmas.  I don't really care for the whole gift exchange thing.  I kind of have the Sheldon Cooper syndrome when it comes to gifts.  Why do we need to exchange $50 gifts when we can both just save our money or we can go buy what we want .  I just don't see the logic in it.  I convinced my brother about 4 yrs ago for us to stop exchanging gifts but his new wife is now insisting that we send each other something  .  I saw my dad at Thanksgiving and told him not to send me anything.  When I talked to him Sunday I reiterated for him not to send me anything.  I have a couple of friends that insist on giving me something so I will, of course, get them something in return.  Also, I am not religious so I don't get into that aspect of Christmas. 

All that being said there are things I DO enjoy about Christmas.  Let's put days off from work at the top of that list - LOL!  We are closed Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and the day after Christmas (whoop whoop).  My BFF and I have planned a spa day for the day after Christmas.  I also love looking at Christmas lights/decorations.  I enjoy all the Christmas gatherings (both personal and work related).  I like some of the Christmas movies, music and live Christmas productions. 

[Abby Normal]

Dec 9, 2014 14:06:12 GMT -5 movingforward said:

 Let's put days off from work at the top of that list - LOL!  We are closed Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and the day after Christmas (whoop whoop).  My BFF and I have planned a spa day for the day after Christmas.  I also love looking at Christmas lights/decorations.  I enjoy all the Christmas gatherings (both personal and work related).  I like some of the Christmas movies, music and live Christmas productions. 

We are technically open on the 26th, but always  the day off.  My boss is Canadian so he laughs when I celebrate "boxing day".   It's the day we purge our house and donate a bunch of stuff.  I like it nearly as much as Christmas.