Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 10, 2014 22:57:48 GMT -5
I've been to all kinds of weddings and I agree it's more a function of the tastes and budget of the couple. I'm pretty adaptable but there are a few things that grind my gears,
1. Long, drawn-out entrance introducing the whole wedding party.
2. Overly long cocktail hours so they can take 5,000 pictures. Even if you're well fed and it's open bar, dinner is an afterthought.
3. Music so loud you can't keep up a conversation.
4. "Champagne toast " where it's already poured and on the tables so it's lukewarm and flat by the time you drink it.
5. Any part of the ceremony or reception where someone says, "And now may I present for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Groom's name!" I just can't get into the bride's last name disappearing and I have never let anyone address me as Mrs. Husband's first name Husband's last name.
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marvholly
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Post by marvholly on Nov 11, 2014 6:34:04 GMT -5
I am from metro Chicago. Weddings around here have NEVER been cake & punch in the church social hall. All have been some kind of meal – sit down (dinner) or buffet (lunch or brunch). I did attend 1 or 2 cake/punch receptions in small towns WAAAY outside the metro area back in the day. Those of us from the BIG city thought it was cheap & tacky.
I married in 1969 and then ‘everyone’ hired a wedding planner/consultant. My kids did all the planning/booking vendors themselves (2003 and 2005). I was at the wedding of a cousin last May. The only thing on your list they did was the ‘save the date’ cards.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 11, 2014 8:42:37 GMT -5
I am from metro Chicago. Weddings around here have NEVER been cake & punch in the church social hall. All have been some kind of meal – sit down (dinner) or buffet (lunch or brunch). I did attend 1 or 2 cake/punch receptions in small towns WAAAY outside the metro area back in the day. Those of us from the BIG city thought it was cheap & tacky. I married in 1969 and then ‘everyone’ hired a wedding planner/consultant. My kids did all the planning/booking vendors themselves (2003 and 2005). I was at the wedding of a cousin last May. The only thing on your list they did was the ‘save the date’ cards. You do what you can afford. I've never been to a cake and punch reception and would consider it tacky only if it were at a point in the day when people naturally expected to eat (say, after an 11:30 AM ceremony) or if it was out of scale with the rest of it (bride wore $4,000 designer dress and carried orchids, 6 bridesmaids, gift registry at Tiffany's and Williams-Sonoma). If a couple is just starting out and they don't want to go into piles of debt to put on a show, good for them. DS and DDIL married in a church in Iowa that was a converted warehouse or something else big and dark. The reception was in the church hall afterwards and, since it was brunch, there was no alcohol. I wasn't particularly impressed with the venue or the food, but it was the church they both attended and there was so much love and happiness in that ceremony you could feel the presence of God. They didn't ask for a dime although I contributed all the flowers and made the bouquets (8 of them if I remember!) and boutonnieres. I did my thing at the rehearsal dinner- nice but kid-friendly venue (there were a lot of kids) and open bar. I made a short, heartfelt welcome speech and a good time was had by all. I planned both of my weddings but each was about 50 guests and I really enjoyed doing it. DH found areas he wanted to take over (printing invitations and RSVP postcards, baking cookies instead of having a wedding cake at the reception) so the second wedding was more of a partnership.
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Bob Ross
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Post by Bob Ross on Nov 11, 2014 9:57:53 GMT -5
'Round my parts, a "fancy" weddin's one where the bride ain't of the four legged persuasion.
*hawks and spits*
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bobosensei
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Post by bobosensei on Nov 13, 2014 4:07:40 GMT -5
In the rural, Georgia town where I grew up I went to a couple of potluck weddings. It wasn't like bring dish to get into the reception, but something that the church ladies would do for the couple and maybe some of the close family friends. It was more like Wednesday night dinners that the churches usually had except there would be a wedding cake. Also most weddings did not have alcohol as we were in a super fundamentalist, baptist area. I don't think the methodists did alcohol either because of the most part you couldn't buy it anywhere in the county anyway, and most people didn't have the money to do it even if the church allowed it and you could find a caterer to do it.
DH and I spent about 8k on our wedding. We had a photographer and a sit down meal in the afternoon (sit down was cheaper than buffet). We had a full, open bar but the caterer allowed us to provide all the liquor, beer, and wine. We piped music in the sound system instead of having a DJ, and the photographer helped keep the wedding on track with the cake cutting etc. We also didn't have a limo. We did the decorations ourselves at the church and reception site. I ordered several hundred roses from a place and did all the centerpieces, bouquets, and boutonnieres myself. Mom did the flowers and bows for the church and made sure to get them on while DH and I had pictures made before the wedding. We have the memories, and most of the stuff that gave me anxiety or was upsetting has faded and only the good stuff remains.
I am sure some people looked down on parts of our wedding, and some might have thought we overspent. In the end it wasn't all what I wanted, but I am happy we did it.
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cronewitch
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I identify as a post-menopausal childless cat lady and I vote.
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Post by cronewitch on Nov 13, 2014 11:53:41 GMT -5
The last wedding I went to was at the bride's mother's home on the waterfront. The bride's third wedding and the groom's third wedding. She wore a beautiful champagne colored dress and the wedding was under an arch with the water in the background on the patio. They had a cupcake wedding cake her sister made and tables of homemade food all excellent. Almost all guest were family so lots of children, 4 children of the bride and groom. The alcohol was on the far end of the patio in an alcove so many of the older men hung out there. It wasn't fancy just bottles, many of the guest were Mormons and some of us just don't drink so the drinkers were kinda separate. Everyone had a good time. The mother of the bride used to be married to my brother but married to her new husband about 30 years. I was surprised he remembered me I hadn't seen him in many years since that daughter and her sister were given away at first marriages by him. My brother goes to his daughters weddings but their stepdad gives them away and is a wonderful stepfather to them.
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kittensaver
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We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love. - Mother Teresa
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Post by kittensaver on Nov 13, 2014 14:14:56 GMT -5
Agree with others here about tradition. You know the old cliché that says "all politics are local"? All weddings (IMHO) are local. I think the biggest difference I've noticed in the time since I got married and 20 years later when the first of our girls got married was not the details of the ceremony and reception so much as it was the elongation of the celebration into an entire weekend-plus.
Girl #1 had a bridal brunch (separate from her bridal showers) two days before the wedding, where she, her bridesmaids and the moms all got together for several hours while we ate, drank champagne and assembled the decorations and party favors. When that was done, the entire group went off to the nail salon for pampering. When THAT was done, we took about 40 people to a concert with fireworks at the Hollywood Bowl. The next morning, she and her maid and matron of honor went off to the local day spa for practically every imaginable treatment, and got back just on time to dress for the rehearsal and dinner. That was a very nice, formal sit-down event including an open bar for about 60 people, because all of the out-of-town family and the spouses and guests of the wedding party were included. The wedding was the next day (150 people, at a private mansion in the Hollywood Hills), followed by an after-party at a local hotel bar. THEN a few hours later we hosted a garden brunch (again for family and out-of-town guests) at our house, where they opened their gifts and said their goodbyes.
So: 4 days, 5 pre-wedding events and 2 post-wedding events, all with family, guests of the wedding party and out-of-towners invited. That is "normal" for a wedding in our area - - but then again, this is La La Land.
Girl #2 had a similar but somewhat scaled-down version of this type of weekend. It was in a very nice location but out-of-town for us, so we had to plan accordingly.
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