Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 4, 2014 20:22:40 GMT -5
So, building off Lena's thread, is there any topic/issue/practice where you completely reversed or changed course based on either new information or a life changing event?
I didnt want to hijack.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Nov 4, 2014 20:25:28 GMT -5
Yes. Homeschooling. When then-boyfriend, now husband said that he wanted his kids to be homeschooled, I seriously considered pulling the plug on the relationship bc it sounded too wacky and too extremist to me and I started having questions about his mental state.
It took me years to change my mind, though.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 4, 2014 20:40:08 GMT -5
Being a SAHM. I had been working 2 or 3 jobs at a time my entire life when I got pregnant with DS and all through my pregnancy I stuck by the fact that I would return to work. Then I changed my mind after he was born. Of course a few years later, I did another 180 back to my original thinking and there is no freaking way I would ever agree to be a SAHM again.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Nov 4, 2014 20:42:34 GMT -5
Basically everything I said I would never do when I had kids (before having a kid). ETA -- I said I would breastfeed, not cosleep, no electronics, and yes to cloth diapers and public school. So far I have exclusively pumped for 11.5 months, coslept for 10 months, and used disposable diapers. I have 5 different Fisher Price games on my iPhone. I'm planning to keep her at the Montessori school where she goes to daycare. If not, probably a charter or private school. I guess I never truly realized how much of parenting is just making shit up as you go along!
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Nov 4, 2014 21:18:08 GMT -5
Sure - lots of stuff. Nothing I can think of. Maybe I never have.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Nov 4, 2014 21:36:03 GMT -5
Not due to a life event but I used to be against gay marriage and now I don't care who someone chooses as a spouse. Why should straight people be the only ones bitter and miserable??lol
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Nov 4, 2014 21:39:18 GMT -5
I used to be Christian - but I left that world and hide out in a non-prophet organization now called atheism.
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Sunnyday
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Post by Sunnyday on Nov 4, 2014 22:35:22 GMT -5
I said that I would never get married and have kids. I am now married and have kids. But I don't think that I did a 180. I think that I just got turned around and when through a personal crisis, and decided to do something different. Here I am. I think that I knew my heart better when I was 12-26 years of age. Here is one thing that I did change 180 degrees on. When I was young, I was so open, romantic, idealistic, trusting, sure of myself, loving, accepting, non-judgemental, love everyone la-dee-da kind of person. Then, something very dark came over me. And, I became very cynical. A friend who I met when I was transforming to the dark side told me that I must be a romantic, because only a true romantic could go so "dark." I thought that what she said was true enough. Sometimes what we think are complete transformation or not really just that, but more of a natural evolution of whatever our "beings" are or our complementary sides. Ying to our Yang kind of thing.
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Peace Of Mind
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[font color="#8f2520"]~ Drinks Well With Others ~[/font]
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Nov 4, 2014 23:41:45 GMT -5
Off the top of my head: I said I'd never marry or have kids and that I'd never not work. I guess 1 out of 3 isn't bad. I never had kids but I was once a step parent so that probably doesn't really count either. And I married twice! Like parenting - life is also just making shit up as you go along. Isn't it a woman's right to change her mind? But I prefer to look at it as maturing and growing. And obtaining new information works.
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milee
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Post by milee on Nov 5, 2014 2:27:16 GMT -5
Here is one thing that I did change 180 degrees on. When I was young, I was so open, romantic, idealistic, trusting, sure of myself, loving, accepting, non-judgemental, love everyone la-dee-da kind of person. Then, something very dark came over me. And, I became very cynical. It's been gradual, but I've had the opposite 180. The younger me was very distrusting, judgmental, suspicious of people, harsh and intolerant. As I've aged, I think there's more good in people and am more open to finding it, more willing to listen, slower to judge, less rigid.
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quince
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Post by quince on Nov 5, 2014 2:31:51 GMT -5
Kids. Letting someone else be the breadwinner. Monogamy.
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truthbound
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Post by truthbound on Nov 5, 2014 2:45:20 GMT -5
So, building off Lena's thread, is there any topic/issue/practice where you completely reversed or changed course based on either new information or a life changing event? I didnt want to hijack. Had to think for a minute. As hard to believe as it might be no.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Nov 5, 2014 8:39:52 GMT -5
I never thought my kids would be in our public school system. And yet, here we are.
I'm sure there are others.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Nov 5, 2014 10:17:17 GMT -5
I wanted to be a professor. All thru high school and college I was going to go into academic research and become a professor/PI. I was VERY focused on this idea.
I realized three years into academia research that I'd rather chew glass than be a professor. After watching my bosses scramble for grants and having them explain to me how their pay structure works I am not really keen on heading an academic research lab either.
Now I have no clue what I want to be when I grow up.
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Formerly SK
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Post by Formerly SK on Nov 5, 2014 10:38:46 GMT -5
I used to be very driven career-wise and money was my goal. This all radically changed 7 years ago when DS1 was dx with autism. It's gotten even more pronounced since DS2 came out as transgender this summer. Now all I care about is making the world more kind/honest/supportive. Now I work PT tutoring math with low income kids and I *love* it even though I make pennies.
Go figure.
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happyhoix
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Post by happyhoix on Nov 5, 2014 10:54:43 GMT -5
Didn't want to have kids, then I did.
Became very anti-religious during my teens, due to a very radical fundamentalist Christian church my mom dragged me to (women have to be subservient to men because God only talks to men, etc) and because I read Elmer Gantry at a fairly young age and it had a very corrosive effect on my view of religion in general.
Since then, I realized while I may not be a fan of organized religion - especially certain extreme types of organized religion - I can still be a Christian.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Nov 5, 2014 10:59:23 GMT -5
I realized you can't care more about something than the person who supposedly wants to do it. There are people that choose to slam their own hands in the car door and you just have to step back and let them.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Nov 5, 2014 11:00:43 GMT -5
I don't think Washington and National Politics are really all that important really in your life. Yes, it is prominent and in our faces. But, our real lives are lived where we are and with our friends and neighbors and towns regardless of what the politicians do.
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Ryan
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Post by Ryan on Nov 5, 2014 11:01:38 GMT -5
I went from being really easy going and kinda didn't care about much, to being pretty judgmental and unemphatic, to the wise old kind man I am today (at the age of 36). ...mostly due to having kids.
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shanendoah
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Post by shanendoah on Nov 5, 2014 11:05:40 GMT -5
In high school, I identified as Republican.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 5, 2014 11:33:47 GMT -5
I managed to hold on to my Republican, Ayn Rand upbringing through college. Took less than a year teaching special ed in a rural district to obliterate that fairy tale.
Others:
I used to be very, germs make you sick, being cold or wet isn't what makes you sick grandma, i don't like coats. it doesn't matter. One day the school nurse where i taught was like, yeah, but if your body is using all its energy to regulate your body temperature (a first tier task)... then its not going to have the resources to also fight off invading germs. Ok, that makes sense to me, put on a coat.
I used to think sex change operations should not be covered by insurance... i mean it seems a bit 'personal desire' there, not something we all need to be supporting. However, i think it was a person on this board who talked about how the psychological problems associated with feeling you are in the wrong body is one of the only things we actually can CURE physically... and all the benefits, medical and societal that come from that... and so i immediately changed my opinion on that as well.
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HoneyBBQ
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Post by HoneyBBQ on Nov 5, 2014 11:44:20 GMT -5
Wanting kids.
I didn't want any when I was younger. I think I was too screwed up from my own childhood.
Now I wish I could have more, but it's not going to happen.
Happy to have DD. She's all I could want.
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GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
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Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on Nov 5, 2014 13:24:25 GMT -5
I have some very strong opinions on some issues and those opinions haven't changed at all. What I have done is become less openly vocal about them. I don't volunteer or advocate for those opinions as readily anymore. If asked, I will discuss the issues, but I don't let them define me anymore. The funny thing is that the issues aren't personal to most people and my views are not all that revolutionary or contentious, but they do seek some change in certain practices. Yet, my vocalism used to make some narrow-minded, self-centered, selfish people angry beyond reason or need, and sometimes even violent. Nowadays, those same folks erroneously read my relative silence as a 180 degree change. (But they've been wrong about me since day one anyway.) I prefer to call it quiet confidence.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 5, 2014 18:40:39 GMT -5
I can't think of anything I've done a 180 on, but I can think of several subjects that I've become either more open minded about or more jaded about. For example, I've never been homophobic, I've always been a myob kind of person. But I also never really thought about how so many other people like to try to mind gay and lesbian people's business for them. Over time and for a couple of reasons, I've moved from neutral to being more supportive of people's right to be who they are. It's become one of the few issues I'll speak up to defend when I hear certain things in conversations now.
I'm more jaded about people. I use to think my standards for how people should act were pretty normal. Now I think maybe I had too much faith in humans' ability to care about doing the right thing.
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Artemis Windsong
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Post by Artemis Windsong on Nov 5, 2014 20:35:58 GMT -5
I did a 180 on going to church. I stopped because people treated each other badly. Not showing the love. A friend got me started going to studies with her and her friends. They had a no gossip policy in the church.
I did not join that church but another one. I would say that is a 180.
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cronewitch
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Post by cronewitch on Nov 7, 2014 13:15:04 GMT -5
I matured some and changed my mind about things slowly not suddenly. I remember thinking buying a home was much more expensive than renting. My brother had a mortgage of 227 a month my rent was only 180 and he had to mow the lawn and by fertilizer. Years later my rent was 240 his mortgage was still 227, years more and his mortgage was 227 my rent was 380 so I bought a house with a mortgage of 422.
Now I am in the middle of changing my mind about minimum wage. I think $15 is too much but when you think about someone making 7.25 working 1,000 hours a year or half time it is hardly worth doing. So many minimum wage jobs are half time, odd schedules that giving them an extra dollar an hour or even two seems more reasonable. Doubling their pay doesn't. Our state has 9.32 so most jobs start at $10 even children's jobs. Cost of living some places is low so a lower wage is not so bad. I could support a $9 minimum wage for adults. I don't like what Seattle is doing making the wage depend on things like the size of the company just too confusing so I don't want a children's wage.
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shanendoah
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Post by shanendoah on Nov 7, 2014 13:26:01 GMT -5
Once upon a time, my dream vehicle was an F-350 4 door truck. Then I started paying for gas...
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swasat
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Post by swasat on Nov 7, 2014 13:33:41 GMT -5
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Nov 7, 2014 14:43:22 GMT -5
Those darn kids sure do have a knack for making you eat crow. I take back anything I ever said about having/raising kids before I actually had them. It's like they came programmed to make sure I understood how wrong I was.
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lynnerself
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Post by lynnerself on Nov 7, 2014 14:48:15 GMT -5
I am a very easy going person. I am a good teacher. I am a laid back Mom. I thought I would not have any problems teaching my kids to drive.
Turned out I was a disaster at it. I had to let their Dad do it.
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