Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 28, 2014 22:22:37 GMT -5
I am so sorry for your loss quince. What you're feeling is normal. If you must take his ashes, then do so and scatter them someplace you think he might like (Starbucks comes to mind - jk).I was thinking take him to Colorado, for that Rocky Mountain high, and put him in a Starbucks cup. This is disturbing. Quince, I am very sorry about your ex and as everyone else has said, you are a very kind person. It takes a special heart to be able to care and empathize as you do.
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quince
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Post by quince on Sept 28, 2014 22:26:57 GMT -5
My husband made a joke about getting rid of the ashes one teaspoon at a time and I informed him I did not plan on eating them. Not tasteful, but it fits our sense of humor. The ex would have appreciated it. He and I used to joke about being baked into cookies, served at our funerals, and the closing remarks would be how close we were to everyone who attended.
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Bonny
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Post by Bonny on Sept 28, 2014 22:35:45 GMT -5
My husband made a joke about getting rid of the ashes one teaspoon at a time and I informed him I did not plan on eating them. Not tasteful, but it fits our sense of humor. The ex would have appreciated it. He and I used to joke about being baked into cookies, served at our funerals, and the closing remarks would be how close we were to everyone who attended. I will warn you that cremains are not going to fit in a Starbucks cup. There's actually quite a bit of material and it's not just pretty ash. Figure on between 1/2 to 1 gallon of material.
DFIL was a sailplane instructor during his later years. He wanted to be sprinkled from a sailplane over the mountain where our cabin lies. DH sprinkled as much as he could but not everything. He later told me that he dumped the remains (about 1/3) in the trash. I would have buried the rest him at the cabin but I didn't know about it until too late.
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quince
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Post by quince on Sept 29, 2014 0:21:47 GMT -5
Yup...less ash and more pounds of pulverized bone remnants. Cookies are right out.
Hopefully his aunts and uncles take it from here. I know that one of them did visit him once or twice.
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Works4me
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Someone responded to your personal ad - a German Shepherd named Tara wants to have you for dinner...
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Post by Works4me on Sept 29, 2014 0:49:10 GMT -5
My husband made a joke about getting rid of the ashes one teaspoon at a time and I informed him I did not plan on eating them. Not tasteful, but it fits our sense of humor. The ex would have appreciated it. He and I used to joke about being baked into cookies, served at our funerals, and the closing remarks would be how close we were to everyone who attended. Quince - that is in really bad taste - pun intended - ROFLMAO!
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Wisconsin Beth
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No, we don't walk away. But when we're holding on to something precious, we run.
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Sept 29, 2014 7:00:39 GMT -5
Hugs Quince. I'm sorry for your loss.
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lexxy703
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Post by lexxy703 on Sept 29, 2014 13:29:49 GMT -5
I'm not around on the weekend so just getting to this. I am sorry for your loss. I would grieve if my ex died. Hugs.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 29, 2014 14:36:09 GMT -5
My husband made a joke about getting rid of the ashes one teaspoon at a time and I informed him I did not plan on eating them. Not tasteful, but it fits our sense of humor. The ex would have appreciated it. He and I used to joke about being baked into cookies, served at our funerals, and the closing remarks would be how close we were to everyone who attended. Humor is one of the tools for getting through times when bad things happen. I'm still waiting for the right time to tell someone, "My Ex is dead.. but I have an alibi".
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❤ mollymouser ❤
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Sarcasm is my Superpower
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Post by ❤ mollymouser ❤ on Sept 29, 2014 15:57:38 GMT -5
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Oct 2, 2014 4:29:45 GMT -5
quince Sorry for your loss. It might not ever get easy, but remember, it will get easier. I hope you are hanging in there.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 2, 2014 8:26:59 GMT -5
Weird postscript to my case:
I'm on LinkedIn and they always have "People You May Know" (potential connections) on my Home page. For the first time, they sent me an e-mail suggesting a possible connection. Yes, it was my late Ex. I tried contacting them when he died and telling them, but they needed the e-mail address on his account to delete his profile and I didn't have it. I may e-mail them again. This is silly.
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quince
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Post by quince on Oct 2, 2014 18:23:01 GMT -5
I had sent him some chocolates that he never got to open. www.bigislandcandies.com/BIC/Products/PID-2011F_MikaCoffeeChocolates.aspxI'll be picking some up when I'm in Hawaii in December to share with a mutual friend who is visiting me early 2015. He had tried some I sent to him in May and loved them, so I sent him a full order- box arrived when he was in the hospital. He never went home again. Athena- that would drive me crazy. I accidentally clicked on him in facebook and it brought up the most recent exchange we had. Ugh.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 2, 2014 19:03:56 GMT -5
I accidentally clicked on him in facebook and it brought up the most recent exchange we had. Ugh. FB can be creepy, too. You may want to see if you can get them to deactivate his account if you'd rather not revisit it. An acquaintance of mine died and her family left her FB account up so people could post thoughts and memories. A few months after she died, I got an ad for Walmart in my news stream that said at the top, "(Name of dead friend) likes Wal-Mart". Apparently she was subscribed to Wal-Mart's FB page and they were still using her name to advertise to her connections after she died.
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