Mom went back home

[Ava]

She left Saturday morning.
I'm about to call to see if she arrived safely.
She called me yesterday night from Peru, where she had to change planes.
She was fine and not too tired.
I miss her like crazy and cannot stop crying.
It was great having her here these three past months. 
She helped me with cooking and household chores, she held the front while I studied Statistics, we went to Cape Cod for a long weekend and had tons of fun, and she was here every night to ask how my day went.
I already have my plane ticket to visit for 19 days around Christmas. I try to focus on that so I don't feel so bad.
It's tough because I miss her and also because I am going through a difficult time right now.
I transferred to a new office with the same company in March. It's 10 minutes from home.
But it's becoming a very toxic work environment, to the point that I have to make an effort to leave my home to go there every morning.
On top of that I am trying to finish my MBA in May. So I took 4 upper level classes for this semester. It's very challenging and I'm already overwhelmed.
Besides, now I have to shop, cook and clean by myself. These are going to be 3 very difficult months for me. I wish I could wake up tomorrow and magically be in December, traveling to visit my family.

[swamp]

Go easy on yourself. Who cares if the house is dirty and you eat sandwiches?

[Ava]

Yeah, you are right.
I guess I'll have to try to go easy on that. Let some things slide in order to get ahead.
I love home cooked meals, and a clean house gives me peace.
I'm not a clean freak, but things get out of control easily if I don't do a cleanup once a week.
I've talked to a friend who's very organized and loves to clean.
He's coming over to my home next weekend so we can discuss details. If we can arrange a reasonable amount I'm going to ask him to come over every Saturday morning to clean, do laundry, and help me cook for the next 3 months. I can do grocery shopping before he arrives. Then I can cook while he cleans the rest of the house. We can clean the kitchen together. That would be great, I hope it works out.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Ava....has your mom been visiting you regularly for months?

I just want to give you a head's up that this can be a problem with US immigration, especially since she is coming from South America.

A coworker of mine and his wife immigrated to the US.  Over the last 8 years, their parents visited them for months at a time, I know that they were here as long as they legally could be here.  Coworker's parents have a life in Columbia, with no intention of immigrating, despite their family living in the US.  Their house, finances, etc. are firmly entrenched in their own country.  My coworker holds a green card, and a faculty position at a university and has no intention of going home.

When my coworker's wife had their last child a few years ago, mom and dad came to visit, to help out.  They went home on schedule, but due to the pattern of their visits, the US will no longer allow them to enter the US.  It is not the frequency of the visits, but the length.

[Ava]

She comes every year. She has a 10 year visa that allows her to stay up to 6 months at a time. She generally stays 3 to 4 months.
No problems so far. I don't see any problems in the future either. Many people from my country have parents come over every year or every other year and stay for the full 6 months. Nobody has been declined or questioned about their motives.
Maybe the problem is that they are from Colombia, where there's a lot of drug activity?
Immigration knows she comes to visit me. She gives them my address and I'm a U.S. citizen. She never had any problem getting in. I hope she doesn't in the future.

[taz157]

Sept 7, 2014 11:22:54 GMT -5 swamp said:

Go easy on yourself. Who cares if the house is dirty and you eat sandwiches?

[Jaguar]

Swamp gave you good advice, just go easy on yourself. Do what you have to do to get your degree, that should be your main focus. We are all here for you.

[Peace Of Mind]

Sorry your mom went home and you are sad.  I'm blown away by it but I feel bad for you.  

Are you the only person living there?  I don't see how there would be much to do with just one person unless you have kids and a bunch of pets so hopefully you can keep your place reasonable by picking up after yourself.  Can you batch cook and make individual meals in containers for a warm dinner now and then?  When DH is out of town that's what I do.  Cook up foods that I like and then reheat it when I want a hot meal.  Otherwise I prefer soup, sandwiches and salads.  But it's hot and humid here still so hot meals aren't a requirement for me right now. 

I hope after you get done with all of your schooling your life becomes more fun and less hectic.  Hang in there!

[Deleted]

Ava I'm sorry you're having a hard time. 

Are you taking the next part of that Statistics course this semester? I'm a little concerned about you taking 4 classes this semester while working FT, especially if one is that Stats course. How many are you planning to take next semester? 

I know you're eager to finish your MBA but might it be better to take fewer classes this semester and next semester and take a couple of classes next summer? It's only a few more months, and it might be easier for you keep it all together.

[Opti]

Take care. In the past my Mom has stayed with me for a few weeks during a few health

things like post sinus surgery. At first sharing space in  a one bedroom apartment is a challenge

and then by the time she leaves it was always was a huge letdown and my place felt empty.

And yes it is real nice having someone else to clean, do dishes and perhaps cook.

Focus on you, your school and that you get to visit again this year.

I haven't seen my Mom for a couple years and unfortunately due to

Alzheimers she may not even recognize me anyway.

In a week or so, you'll likely readjust to how things were before your visit.

[sesfw]

Deep breath and mega hugs ..........

[swamp]

How dirty does your place get when it's just you and a cat?   

[Deleted]

Swamp I'm guessing it doesn't get dirty, but it probably gets disorganized. 

If that is the case, Ava, try to find / create an easy system. It's not hard to be organized, but you have to have a system that works.

Do you have a separate bookshelf (or just 2 or 3 shelves on an existing bookshelf) for your MBA / classes? Do you have coat hooks as well as a coat closet? (It's easier to hang your stuff up on hooks rather than to put it on a hanger in the closet.)

If not, I'd start there, if organization is the issue.  

Also, I find that pre-prepared meals are a "happy compromise" between home-cooked meals and going out to eat / buying fast food. 

[Ava]

Sept 7, 2014 15:30:48 GMT -5 @debthaven2 said:

Swamp I'm guessing it doesn't get dirty, but it probably gets disorganized. 

If that is the case, Ava, try to find / create an easy system. It's not hard to be organized, but you have to have a system that works.

Do you have a separate bookshelf (or just 2 or 3 shelves on an existing bookshelf) for your MBA / classes? Do you have coat hooks as well as a coat closet? (It's easier to hang your stuff up on hooks rather than to put it on a hanger in the closet.)

If not, I'd start there, if organization is the issue.  

Also, I find that pre-prepared meals are a "happy compromise" between home-cooked meals and going out to eat / buying fast food. 

The house gets more disorganized than dirty. I am not a very practical person and it's difficult for me to keep up if I miss even a week. For instance; junk mail becomes a problem. Things out of place,etc.  
It's just me and the cat, but she sheds a lot so you have to vacuum regularly. You have to clean her litter box and take out the garbage out every day, do the dishes. All those little things take time and add up. I am leaving work early to go to class 2 times a week. Those 2 days I arrive home after 10 at night. Then, to compensate my manager, I have to stay 1 hour late at work Mondays and Wednesday, so I won't be home after past 6. Two of the classes require group work. That takes more time because you have to meet with them, drive to the location, etc.
Before work I go to the YMCA and I hope to continue at least 2 days a week. Exercising is good for me both physically and mentally, specially because I sit at work and I sit at school.

 One of the classes I'm taking is Operations Management, which is the second part to Statistics, with the same teacher. I am very stressed about that class but I have to November to withdraw if I see I cannot keep up.
After these 4, I only have 1 more and the final project, both of them to be taken January-May. I really want this to be over. I am tired of not being able to lead a normal life because of school. It takes over your life. I also don't want to have classes next Summer because Mom will be here and I rather be at home that running to school.

I'm hoping I can come to an arrangement with this friend next weekend about household chores. He owes me some money, so I'm going to offer him some cash and a discount on his debt each week.

I am sure he'll do it. We've been friends for over 12 years and we have helped each other out many, many times. I am really counting on him to help me through these next 3 months.  If that doesn't work out I'll have to eat sandwiches and pre-prepared meals, and not worry about the house.                   

[Ava]

Sept 7, 2014 14:11:52 GMT -5 Peace Of Mind said:

Sorry your mom went home and you are sad.  I'm blown away by it but I feel bad for you.  

Are you the only person living there?  I don't see how there would be much to do with just one person unless you have kids and a bunch of pets so hopefully you can keep your place reasonable by picking up after yourself.  Can you batch cook and make individual meals in containers for a warm dinner now and then?  When DH is out of town that's what I do.  Cook up foods that I like and then reheat it when I want a hot meal.  Otherwise I prefer soup, sandwiches and salads.  But it's hot and humid here still so hot meals aren't a requirement for me right now. 

I hope after you get done with all of your schooling your life becomes more fun and less hectic.  Hang in there!

What do you mean you are blown away by it?

I miss my family like crazy. I cannot wait till I finish my degree, get a better job, move south (which also means a shorter trip to my country of origin) and start visiting them 2 times a year instead of 1. In the banking industry, you get more PTO as you get promoted and have a higher grade pay. For instance; I have 17 days PTO, but the next pay grade gets 22.

[swamp]

Sept 7, 2014 16:10:34 GMT -5 Ava said:

Sept 7, 2014 15:30:48 GMT -5 @debthaven2 said:

Swamp I'm guessing it doesn't get dirty, but it probably gets disorganized. 

If that is the case, Ava, try to find / create an easy system. It's not hard to be organized, but you have to have a system that works.

Do you have a separate bookshelf (or just 2 or 3 shelves on an existing bookshelf) for your MBA / classes? Do you have coat hooks as well as a coat closet? (It's easier to hang your stuff up on hooks rather than to put it on a hanger in the closet.) N

If not, I'd start there, if organization is the issue.  

Also, I find that pre-prepared meals are a "happy compromise" between home-cooked meals and going out to eat / buying fast food. 

The house gets more disorganized than dirty. I am not a very practical person and it's difficult for me to keep up if I miss even a week. For instance; junk mail becomes a problem. Things out of place,etc.  
It's just me and the cat, but she sheds a lot so you have to vacuum regularly. You have to clean her litter box and take out the garbage out every day, do the dishes. All those little things take time and add up. I am leaving work early to go to class 2 times a week. Those 2 days I arrive home after 10 at night. Then, to compensate my manager, I have to stay 1 hour late at work Mondays and Wednesday, so I won't be home after past 6. 
Before work I go to the YMCA and I hope to continue at least 2 days a week. Exercising is good for me both physically and mentally, specially because I sit at work and I sit at school.

 One of the classes I'm taking is Operations Management, which is the second part to Statistics, with the same teacher. I am very stressed about that class but I have to November to withdraw if I see I cannot keep up.
After these 4, I only have 1 more and the final project, both of them to be taken January-May. I really want this to be over. I am tired of not being able to lead a normal life because of school. It takes over your life. I also don't want to have classes next Summer because Mom will be here and I rather be at home that running to school.

I'm hoping I can come to an arrangement with this friend next weekend about household chores. He owes me some money, so I'm going to offer him some cash and a discount on his debt each week.

I am sure he'll do it. We've been friends for over 12 years and we have helped each other out many, many times. I am really counting on him to help me through these next 3 months.  If that doesn't work out I'll have to eat sandwiches and pre-prepared meals, and not worry about the house.                   

Garbage can right by the front door. Toss junk mail immediately  

batch cook and use paper plates. 

If you use something, put it back immediately. 

[Ava]

Good ideas, Swamp.

Garbage has to be taken to the compactor; this is a condo unit. But I can get into the habit of doing it every morning when I leave.
Batch cook takes a lot of time, that's why I want my friend to help.

Use something and put it back immediately, I will do. It's just a matter of getting used to it.
I don't expect things to be pristine, but I also don't want my home to become a mess for the next 3 months.

[Deleted]

One of the classes I'm taking is Operations Management, which is the second part to Statistics, with the same teacher. I am very stressed about that class but I have to November to withdraw if I see I cannot keep up.
After these 4, I only have 1 more and the final project, both of them to be taken January-May. I really want this to be over. I am tired of not being able to lead a normal life because of school. It takes over your life. I also don't want to have classes next Summer because Mom will be here and I rather be at home that running to school.

Seriously, I think that's too much. Can you drop the easiest of those 4 classes so you can take that OM class this semester, plus 2 (rather than 3) other classes? Since you struggled with the Stats, I think you need to leave yourself a bit of breathing room for it (and tutoring if you find you need it). 

Ava, I totally understand that you want to be done. I still think it's better to do those classes ONCE and pass them, even if it takes you a few more months, than to take on too much and have to redo some classes and still end up taking those extra months because you had to redo those classes.

At the very least, drop one class this semester so you can concentrate on OpMan, and take an extra class second semester. I'm guessing you won't have to attend any / many classes for your final project, but just see your advisor, so you'll have more free time and it will be easier to organize yourself.

As always, I wish you the best, and I'm cheering you on! 

[Peace Of Mind]

Sept 7, 2014 16:14:51 GMT -5 Ava said:

Sept 7, 2014 14:11:52 GMT -5 Peace Of Mind said:

Sorry your mom went home and you are sad.  I'm blown away by it but I feel bad for you.  

Are you the only person living there?  I don't see how there would be much to do with just one person unless you have kids and a bunch of pets so hopefully you can keep your place reasonable by picking up after yourself.  Can you batch cook and make individual meals in containers for a warm dinner now and then?  When DH is out of town that's what I do.  Cook up foods that I like and then reheat it when I want a hot meal.  Otherwise I prefer soup, sandwiches and salads.  But it's hot and humid here still so hot meals aren't a requirement for me right now. 

I hope after you get done with all of your schooling your life becomes more fun and less hectic.  Hang in there!

What do you mean you are blown away by it?

I miss my family like crazy. I cannot wait till I finish my degree, get a better job, move south (which also means a shorter trip to my country of origin) and start visiting them 2 times a year instead of 1. In the banking industry, you get more PTO as you get promoted and have a higher grade pay. For instance; I have 17 days PTO, but the next pay grade gets 22.

It means I can't relate.  I wouldn't want anybody staying at my house that long and I would be dancing when they leave.  Even my DH.   I love my alone time but I know he'll be back soon so it's a treat when he's gone.   I wouldn't like it if he never came back though.   Well.  Depends on the week and how annoying he's been.          

[Ava]

Sept 7, 2014 16:41:11 GMT -5 @debthaven2 said:

One of the classes I'm taking is Operations Management, which is the second part to Statistics, with the same teacher. I am very stressed about that class but I have to November to withdraw if I see I cannot keep up.
After these 4, I only have 1 more and the final project, both of them to be taken January-May. I really want this to be over. I am tired of not being able to lead a normal life because of school. It takes over your life. I also don't want to have classes next Summer because Mom will be here and I rather be at home that running to school.

Seriously, I think that's too much. Can you drop the easiest of those 4 classes so you can take that OM class this semester, plus 2 (rather than 3) other classes? Since you struggled with the Stats, I think you need to leave yourself a bit of breathing room for it (and tutoring if you find you need it). 

Ava, I totally understand that you want to be done. I still think it's better to do those classes ONCE and pass them, even if it takes you a few more months, than to take on too much and have to redo some classes and still end up taking those extra months because you had to redo those classes.

At the very least, drop one class this semester so you can concentrate on OpMan, and take an extra class second semester. I'm guessing you won't have to attend any / many classes for your final project, but just see your advisor, so you'll have more free time and it will be easier to organize yourself.

As always, I wish you the best, and I'm cheering you on! 

Thanks for the good wishes! I'm going to try the 4 classes, I have until November to withdraw and take a W but it won't affect my GPA.
I really want this to be over. I've been going to school since 2007, with one year off when I finished the Bachelor, before I started the MBA. That year was heaven. I had to go back after a year, otherwise I would get too used to it.
I want my life back; weekends really to myself, able to go out, visit friends, or travel without having to worry or stress over some class.
I'll keep you updated! Hopefully I will be able to inform all of you of good results before I leave to spend the holidays with my family.

[Ava]

Sept 7, 2014 16:50:49 GMT -5 Peace Of Mind said:

Sept 7, 2014 16:14:51 GMT -5 Ava said:

What do you mean you are blown away by it?

I miss my family like crazy. I cannot wait till I finish my degree, get a better job, move south (which also means a shorter trip to my country of origin) and start visiting them 2 times a year instead of 1. In the banking industry, you get more PTO as you get promoted and have a higher grade pay. For instance; I have 17 days PTO, but the next pay grade gets 22.

It means I can't relate.  I wouldn't want anybody staying at my house that long and I would be dancing when they leave.  Even my DH.   I love my alone time but I know he'll be back soon so it's a treat when he's gone.   I wouldn't like it if he never came back though.   Well.  Depends on the week and how annoying he's been.          

I guess we are very different. I cry when she leaves, and when she's about to come visit I have the house ready, gifts bought and activities planned a good 6 weeks before she arrives.
When I go visit I spend all my time with her, my brother, my nephew, and one cousin.
It takes me a while to recover and feel normal again when mom leaves, or when I come back from visiting. 

[Peace Of Mind]

Sept 7, 2014 17:01:20 GMT -5 Ava said:

Sept 7, 2014 16:50:49 GMT -5 Peace Of Mind said:

It means I can't relate.  I wouldn't want anybody staying at my house that long and I would be dancing when they leave.  Even my DH.   I love my alone time but I know he'll be back soon so it's a treat when he's gone.   I wouldn't like it if he never came back though.   Well.  Depends on the week and how annoying he's been.          

I guess we are very different. I cry when she leaves, and when she's about to come visit I have the house ready, gifts bought and activities planned a good 6 weeks before she arrives.
When I go visit I spend all my time with her, my brother, my nephew, and one cousin.
It takes me a while to recover and feel normal again when mom leaves, or when I come back from visiting. 

I understand completely.  If I were in your shoes I would probably feel that way too.  You have a great family that you miss, you are from another country and probably don't have a lot of family in the area or many friends close by.  Luckily for me I have that and they have their own houses.  A couple of nights would be more than enough for a visit even with friends.  Then please leave. 

I'm not saying you are but I've never been a needy person nor do I require people around all of the time.  I have friends who can't stand to be alone.  They have to have somebody around all the time especially family.  I just can't relate to that.   I was raised in a family of 9.  I really, really value my alone time and peace and quiet.   Probably why I never wanted kids.  It's against the law to put them in their own apt. at 2 when they get on my nerves. 

[Deleted]

Sept 7, 2014 16:10:34 GMT -5 Ava said:

Sept 7, 2014 15:30:48 GMT -5 @debthaven2 said:

Swamp I'm guessing it doesn't get dirty, but it probably gets disorganized. 

If that is the case, Ava, try to find / create an easy system. It's not hard to be organized, but you have to have a system that works.

Do you have a separate bookshelf (or just 2 or 3 shelves on an existing bookshelf) for your MBA / classes? Do you have coat hooks as well as a coat closet? (It's easier to hang your stuff up on hooks rather than to put it on a hanger in the closet.)

If not, I'd start there, if organization is the issue.  

Also, I find that pre-prepared meals are a "happy compromise" between home-cooked meals and going out to eat / buying fast food. 

The house gets more disorganized than dirty. I am not a very practical person and it's difficult for me to keep up if I miss even a week. For instance; junk mail becomes a problem. Things out of place,etc.  
It's just me and the cat, but she sheds a lot so you have to vacuum regularly. You have to clean her litter box and take out the garbage out every day, do the dishes. All those little things take time and add up. I am leaving work early to go to class 2 times a week. Those 2 days I arrive home after 10 at night. Then, to compensate my manager, I have to stay 1 hour late at work Mondays and Wednesday, so I won't be home after past 6. Two of the classes require group work. That takes more time because you have to meet with them, drive to the location, etc.
Before work I go to the YMCA and I hope to continue at least 2 days a week. Exercising is good for me both physically and mentally, specially because I sit at work and I sit at school.

 One of the classes I'm taking is Operations Management, which is the second part to Statistics, with the same teacher. I am very stressed about that class but I have to November to withdraw if I see I cannot keep up.
After these 4, I only have 1 more and the final project, both of them to be taken January-May. I really want this to be over. I am tired of not being able to lead a normal life because of school. It takes over your life. I also don't want to have classes next Summer because Mom will be here and I rather be at home that running to school.

I'm hoping I can come to an arrangement with this friend next weekend about household chores. He owes me some money, so I'm going to offer him some cash and a discount on his debt each week.

I am sure he'll do it. We've been friends for over 12 years and we have helped each other out many, many times. I am really counting on him to help me through these next 3 months.  If that doesn't work out I'll have to eat sandwiches and pre-prepared meals, and not worry about the house.                   

dishes can sit in the sink for a few days....you can probably do the litter box every other day....trash doesn't need to go out every day (we have 4 people in the house and kitchen trash goes out every few days)....and let the dust bunnies build up from the cat shedding.

[Anne_in_VA]

So sorry you're feeling down since your mom left, but it's understandable.  I don't have any advice, but Hugs to you. Take care of yourself.

[GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl]

Awww, Ava.  Yes, your mother has gone home and you are "alone".  But "alone" doesn't need to mean "lonely" unless you truly want it to mean that.  It's just different now with your mother is gone.  Different doesn't necessarily mean "bad".  Different just means different.  You got a little spoiled with your mother here.  She waited on you and took care of you just as she did when you were young and couldn't care for yourself.  You enjoyed her care for you and allowed yourself to fall into the old parent/child routine.  That's okay, and entirely appropriate given your circumstances of being so far from home.  But, now, you need to stand on your own two feet and deal with the life you have made for yourself.  You are really, truly blessed.  You have a good job (with some office politics, granted, but still a good job), a condo in a secure neighborhood in a country you presumably came to of your own volition, a loving pet, and the chance to earn an MBA in a very short time.  Your mother very generously gave you a little respite from the mundane daily chores.  But, like all of the rest of us, you now need to take care of yourself.  You CAN do this!!!  You have done it before!!!!  You CAN do it again!!!!  Show your mother what a motivated, competent daughter she raised and dig down deep and get it all done.  You owe her this -- she has given you a great example to follow -- her! -- and now you need to show her what you have learned from her love for you.

(The above from a woman whose own mother died 18 years ago just after I gave birth to my oldest child and who knows what it truly is to be without one's mother.  So, I apologize if I came off a little harsh.  It may be some jealousy rearing its ugly head.)

[TheOtherMe]

I was just thinking the same thing as above about a woman who lost my mother on May 19.  I miss her so much and I will never, ever see her again.  I was very blessed to have her for 90 years, but it still hurts.  

Tell yourself you CAN do this!  You can overcome office politics.  They are at every job I've ever had.  If you have to drop a class, I'd do it now so you don't fall behind in any of your classes.  Your mother raised you to be a strong woman and you've shown her that you can be that. You got your bachelor's degree and have gotten promotions.  Look at the bright side of this and not at how difficult this will be.  It's only until May if you go through with your plan until you have your Master's degree.  Don't I recall you then want to take the CPA exam?  That will require more studying as my nephew found out.  He flunked the first section he took because he didn't study.  He has now passed the other 3 sections.  He studied and took that difficult section last week.  Hoping he passed it and, yes, he studied like crazy this time.  He also studied for the other 3 sections.  

[Ava]

Sept 7, 2014 21:09:07 GMT -5 TheOtherMe said:

I was just thinking the same thing as above about a woman who lost my mother on May 19.  I miss her so much and I will never, ever see her again.  I was very blessed to have her for 90 years, but it still hurts.  

Tell yourself you CAN do this!  You can overcome office politics.  They are at every job I've ever had.  If you have to drop a class, I'd do it now so you don't fall behind in any of your classes.  Your mother raised you to be a strong woman and you've shown her that you can be that. You got your bachelor's degree and have gotten promotions.  Look at the bright side of this and not at how difficult this will be.  It's only until May if you go through with your plan until you have your Master's degree.  Don't I recall you then want to take the CPA exam?  That will require more studying as my nephew found out.  He flunked the first section he took because he didn't study.  He has now passed the other 3 sections.  He studied and took that difficult section last week.  Hoping he passed it and, yes, he studied like crazy this time.  He also studied for the other 3 sections.  

    Thanks for the vote of confidence!
Yes, I plan to sit for the CPA exam after I finish the MBA but right now it's not the studying part that's hard; it's the driving 1 hour to class, sitting there for 5 hours 2 days a week, driving back for another hour. Having to go back on weekends to meet for group projects.
All that takes a lot of time and then you have to make more time to study.
I'm sorry about your mother. I understand you miss her immensely. I know my own mother will be gone some day (hopefully in the distant future) and I cannot deal with that idea in the present.
Yes, I'm very independent but I also feel vulnerable because I live alone in a country where I don't know too many people.



   

[mmhmm]

You'll be okay, Ava. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and think about how proud your mother will be when you've finished your education and moved on and up. Imagine the smile on her face and the love and pride in her heart. You can do this for you, and for her.

[Ava]

Sept 7, 2014 20:30:48 GMT -5 GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl said:

Awww, Ava.  Yes, your mother has gone home and you are "alone".  But "alone" doesn't need to mean "lonely" unless you truly want it to mean that.  It's just different now with your mother is gone.  Different doesn't necessarily mean "bad".  Different just means different.  You got a little spoiled with your mother here.  She waited on you and took care of you just as she did when you were young and couldn't care for yourself.  You enjoyed her care for you and allowed yourself to fall into the old parent/child routine.  That's okay, and entirely appropriate given your circumstances of being so far from home.  But, now, you need to stand on your own two feet and deal with the life you have made for yourself.  You are really, truly blessed.  You have a good job (with some office politics, granted, but still a good job), a condo in a secure neighborhood in a country you presumably came to of your own volition, a loving pet, and the chance to earn an MBA in a very short time.  Your mother very generously gave you a little respite from the mundane daily chores.  But, like all of the rest of us, you now need to take care of yourself.  You CAN do this!!!  You have done it before!!!!  You CAN do it again!!!!  Show your mother what a motivated, competent daughter she raised and dig down deep and get it all done.  You owe her this -- she has given you a great example to follow -- her! -- and now you need to show her what you have learned from her love for you.

(The above from a woman whose own mother died 18 years ago just after I gave birth to my oldest child and who knows what it truly is to be without one's mother.  So, I apologize if I came off a little harsh.  It may be some jealousy rearing its ugly head.)

Yes, I do feel very fortunate. It's just that I'm a little bit overwhelmed by all that's going on for the next 3 months.
I'm sorry about your mother passing away when you were so young.

[giramomma]

Ava
Can you suggest to your groupmates that you get work done via google hangouts, skype, facetime? How about doing preliminary work with file exchange through something like Box? Simply using the comments feature in word would help improve efficiency and cut down on meeting time.

I work in higher education, specifically in online learning. In some classes, we have students in China or India as well as all over the US. Most of the courses offer a groupwork component. Obviously, getting together face to face isn't an option.

I get that you are overwhelmed. Know that you aren't the only one. It's clear to me that I have to quit one of my jobs. But, that also means I need to find replacement income. So, while I'm working and dealing with family stuff, I also need to be finding new/additional employment and getting ready to take my GREs this winter.

My plan of attack is making lists, and just working through them. My goal is to get through 3-4 things a day from all of my lists. I'm also giving myself permission to be done and relax as well.