Sunnyday
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Post by Sunnyday on Sept 5, 2014 20:35:18 GMT -5
First of all, I know that I shouldn't compare my kids, but since the only experience that I've had with babies and toddlers is my first born, I inevitably end up doing it.
I potty trained my first at 18 months and she was completely accident free by 21 months.
She took to it very well. She was also more eager to please, took instruction well, and had very good verbal skills and fine motor skills.
My second is more physically developed than my first ever was at any point, but he is much slower verbally and he lacks some of the finer motor skills and does not take direction well. If he doesn't want to do something, he won't. Period.
So, I've been taking his cues and decided to wait to start potty training him. He is 21 months now.
But, he absolutely HATES his diaper. Changing him sometimes takes both of us with him thrashing about so much that I think that he's going to hurt himself. It's a battle. every. single. time.
I tried to introduce him to the potty. And all he wants to do is stick his foot in it. He will sit on it for fun sometimes, but doesn't seem to get what it's for. I can't ever catch a pee to praise him.
All I did with the first was praise her to the high heavens, and told her that she earned a sticker. Worked like a charm, stickers were like crack or money (for you YM folk) to her.
I'm at lost at how to start introducing the potty training thing to him. If he didn't hate diaper changes so much, I would let him be until he decides that he wants to. When that will be, I have no idea. I know parents who have kids who are 3 and who are still not potty trained. I rather not be that parent.
And the diapers always cut into his hip bone because he's such a big boy. Another reason that I hate them and would love for him to be potty trained.
Advice and tips for boys? And what do I do about the penis? When he sits down, the penis doesn't really hang down. It sort of is resting on his other bits or the lid itself, so I imagine that pee will spray everywhere. Am I suppose to get him to pee standing up? Like how does that work?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 5, 2014 20:38:15 GMT -5
1) Switch to pull ups, pretend they are underwear not a diaper.
2) Put Cheerios and fruit loops in the bowl and let him 'hit the target'.
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Sunnyday
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Post by Sunnyday on Sept 5, 2014 20:41:33 GMT -5
1) Switch to pull ups, pretend they are underwear not a diaper. 2) Put Cheerios and fruit loops in the bowl and let him 'hit the target'. He is 21 months old. He will try to eat the cheerios.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 5, 2014 20:42:35 GMT -5
Not if they are floating in the toilet bowl. Believe me, little boys love to pee on things...
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 5, 2014 20:44:48 GMT -5
I started both my boys standing up. A good trick is to teach them to lean forward and hang onto the tank. They never miss that way. Also, I use one of those little seats that fits over the toilet to keep them from falling in while pooping instead of a separate potty chair. It has a shield to keep the pee going down. Younger son is good about aiming down anyhow, but older son never was. DS has a stool in the bathroom that he moves around to get up to the sink and to get onto the toilet. He puts his little seat on himself when he has to go.
Also, I live in the country, so training boys in the summer involves just letting them go wherever they want outside.
Still, neither one of mine trained until age 3. I think older son was almost 3 and a half, but then it went fast. Younger son went from no interest to completely reliable in about a week.
eta: And with both my kids there was a motivator that pushed them to finally agree. Older son wanted to go to the races and younger son wanted to go to preschool. When they found out that being potty trained was a condition they had to meet first, they suddenly knew exactly what to do. No accidents.
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Sunnyday
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Post by Sunnyday on Sept 5, 2014 20:55:52 GMT -5
I don't think that my son will understand if I tell him to try to pee on a cheerio. I think that he's not verbal enough. So all boys are potty trained standing up? And why am I infected? what does that mean? Do I have ebola or something? is this a new game?
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Sept 5, 2014 20:56:39 GMT -5
My 23 m.o. is the same why with diaper changes. I have to wrestle him down and strap him in, and still wrestle him sometimes as he tries to squirm away. He showed interest in sitting on the toilet a few weeks ago, so I brought up the potty chair. He took the insert out, then sit on it. Oh, and both my boys play with the chair and put toys in it. DS1 was too big for that chair by the time we started potty training him in earnest, and was 3.5 before he was completely potty trained. I think we missed an earlier window, and then he showed no interest. The baby got attention, so he started acting more like a baby. Finally now that he started school, he sees the advantage in acting more mature. Anyway, I'm sure this is no help. Good luck. ETA: we started DS1 sitting down, but it only really "took" after our sitters DH had him try standing up, because he could "make bubbles". Whatever works!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 5, 2014 20:57:06 GMT -5
I bit you. I'm sorry.
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Sunnyday
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Post by Sunnyday on Sept 5, 2014 20:59:16 GMT -5
My 23 m.o. is the same why with diaper changes. I have to wrestle him down and strap him in, and still wrestle him sometimes as he tries to squirm away. He showed interest in sitting on the toilet a few weeks ago, so I brought up the potty chair. He took the insert out, then sit on it. Oh, and both my boys play with the chair and put toys in it. DS1 was too big for that chair by the time we started potty training him in earnest, and was 3.5 before he was completely potty trained. I think we missed an earlier window, and then he showed no interest. The baby got attention, so he started acting more like a baby. Finally now that he started school, he sees the advantage in acting more mature. Anyway, I'm sure this is no help. Good luck. Yeah! this is so us. How do I know when the first window is though?? I need expert advice. arrghh!
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Sunnyday
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Post by Sunnyday on Sept 5, 2014 21:00:04 GMT -5
I bit you. I'm sorry. As long as it was you!
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Sept 5, 2014 21:00:21 GMT -5
Yeah.......I should not comment on this thread!!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 5, 2014 21:01:24 GMT -5
Can you have him pee outside?
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Sept 5, 2014 21:04:01 GMT -5
My 23 m.o. is the same why with diaper changes. I have to wrestle him down and strap him in, and still wrestle him sometimes as he tries to squirm away. He showed interest in sitting on the toilet a few weeks ago, so I brought up the potty chair. He took the insert out, then sit on it. Oh, and both my boys play with the chair and put toys in it. DS1 was too big for that chair by the time we started potty training him in earnest, and was 3.5 before he was completely potty trained. I think we missed an earlier window, and then he showed no interest. The baby got attention, so he started acting more like a baby. Finally now that he started school, he sees the advantage in acting more mature. Anyway, I'm sure this is no help. Good luck. Yeah! this is so us. How do I know when the first window is though?? I need expert advice. arrghh! Definitely not an expert here, but I think when he started showing an interest in using the toilet. Can your DH demonstrate for him? He might catch on to a fun game if daddy shows him how to play.
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Sept 5, 2014 21:31:33 GMT -5
Not an expert, but I read an article today in a magazine about the best way men should pee because of splash back.
If I remember the magazine, I'll post that, but one of the things they said is it is better to aim for the porcelain than the water in a toilet because liquid onto liquid splashes more. They also recommended closer versus further away for the same reasons.
I think it was two male researchers and both of them now tend to pee sitting instead of standing after doing their research. (FWIW, they used some sort of hose to simulate a penis peeing.)
Aren't you glad I read interesting things?
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MJ2.0
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Post by MJ2.0 on Sept 5, 2014 21:39:45 GMT -5
My son just turned 3 and he is 90% not interested in using the potty. The other 10% of the time he has used it maybe once or twice ever. I ask him if he has to use the potty and he says "no" in an annoyed or upset tone. He will sit on his potty (and not go most of the time) if his dad is in the bathroom but he will NOT do it with me. I've considered letting him run around the house diaperless as I heard that works, but I really don't want to spend the day(s) cleaning poop and pee off the floor. I would REALLY like to get him potty trained within the next 6 months, so if anyone has any advice please share!
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GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
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Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on Sept 5, 2014 21:42:23 GMT -5
Meh. My kids were both 3.5 or 4 when they potty trained. They were ready (maybe beyond ready), but because they were older it was quick and relatively easy. I just didn't have the interest in dealing with the issues you are facing with a younger child, so I waited.
That said, every child is unique and his or her developmental trajectory is unique. It sounds like your son is not ready to potty train -- he doesn't sound like he has the cognitive skills yet to understand the purpose. And, at the risk of generalization, boys are notoriously slower at potty training than girls (and at many other development milestones). You could keep trying to train him (and continue to get frustrated), or wait a while until he has the necessary cognitive development. In the meantime, during diaper changes, distract, distract, distract. My kids played with cars, trucks, books, legos, balls, whatever during diaper changes. At some point, all kids resist changes because it means they have to stop doing whatever it is they are doing at that moment, or delay doing whatever it is they were just going to do, or because they think of something else to do during the diaper change, LOL. It's a toddler-appropriate version of ADD -- there is ALWAYS something more "shiny" than a diaper change. Buy a couple of special toys that he can only play with during diaper changes and you'll buy yourself an easier time of it until he's developmentally ready to use the potty.
Hang in there. This is only the first of a long list of developmental milestones that will be different between your DD and your DS. If it is any comfort, my sons are 18.5 and 16 and don't seem to be any the worse for having trained "late".
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Sunnyday
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Post by Sunnyday on Sept 5, 2014 21:46:41 GMT -5
If your DH is comfortable with it, let him show him how to pee standing up. DH is mad at me because apparently boys are supposed to wipe back to front *gag* and I taught them how to wipe the correct way (front to back). I tell him he is disgusting and wrong. My boys were 3 1/2-ish by the time they were potty trained. No way were they ready at 21 months. Choose your battles... You ultimately can't physically make them go to the bathroom. My husband wouldn't mind showing him. It's just that...my husband pees.....sitting down. (audible gasps heard from all corners) lol. yeah, but he can show him how.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 5, 2014 21:48:20 GMT -5
I tried really hard starting young with my older son. He was almost 4 when he was trained. Younger son I said "whatever, he'll do it someday". He was trained at 3 in a week and I didn't spend a year and a half prior to that coaxing, reminding, and dealing with accidents. A lot less stress and done a year sooner anyhow.
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Sunnyday
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Post by Sunnyday on Sept 5, 2014 21:57:41 GMT -5
I definitely agree that he is not ready yet. I try to distract him, but sometimes I have to just get him changed and I can't hold his attention long enough to distract him. But I just can't change diapers for three more years!!!!! I hear that other cultures have all their babies potty trained by like 12 months. What are they doing right?
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Ryan
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Post by Ryan on Sept 5, 2014 22:13:29 GMT -5
Trying to potty train a 21 month old boy? I think you just deal with the thrashing until they are a bit older. I don't think I know many kids that were potty trained before the age of 2. One of my boys was right at 3 and the other was around 3.5.
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Sunnyday
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Post by Sunnyday on Sept 5, 2014 22:20:27 GMT -5
Trying to potty train a 21 month old boy? I think you just deal with the thrashing until they are a bit older. I don't think I know many kids that were potty trained before the age of 2. One of my boys was right at 3 and the other was around 3.5. how did you get immunity?
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Ryan
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Post by Ryan on Sept 5, 2014 22:28:50 GMT -5
Trying to potty train a 21 month old boy? I think you just deal with the thrashing until they are a bit older. I don't think I know many kids that were potty trained before the age of 2. One of my boys was right at 3 and the other was around 3.5. how did you get immunity? I have no idea. I don't know what it means.
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Peace Of Mind
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Sept 5, 2014 23:27:02 GMT -5
Have you given him the New York Times or some magazines? Don't most men bring reading material to assist them?
Have you put his hands in warm water or run the sink faucet or the shower?
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
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Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Sept 5, 2014 23:37:30 GMT -5
I think babies being fully potty-trained at 12 months is a myth. Most don't come close to mastering the skill for at least 2 yrs without 'accidents'.
But you can start training boys early by teaching them how to to write their name in the snow. They'll master their aim in no time. .
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Spellbound454
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Post by Spellbound454 on Sept 6, 2014 3:00:19 GMT -5
I plied my boys with drinks, then half an hour later.... sat them on the toilet seat (so they couldn't get off) until something happened.
They were older though..26 months to start. Standing came later.
We all have different ways of doing things, I suppose...but it works out in the end.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Sept 6, 2014 6:33:03 GMT -5
I think he's too young but unfortunately not young enough for terrible twos. I swear DS would still go in his pants if it was socially unacceptable for someone his age to do it.
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TheHaitian
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Post by TheHaitian on Sept 6, 2014 7:42:39 GMT -5
My mom policy with my siblings was: the moment you can tell her you have a dirty diaper or you need to change your diaper then you need to be potty trained.
I think both brother and sister were 2 and sister was easier/faster than my brother but my mom thinks it is because she wanted to be like her big brother and he was also coaching her (they are 16 months apart).
By 2.5 they were fully potty trained for the day and by 3 they could sleep all night without diapers but my step dad would religiously make sure they use the bathroom before bed (even if they fell asleep before bed time he would wake them up) and made sure to wake them up again first thing in the morning at like 6 (more so for my sister that can sleep all day if you let her).
They are 12 and 11 now and I really doubt they care if they were potty trained a 2 or 3 or 4 or 5. They don't even remember anything that happened before they were like 6-7 if even.
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yogiii
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Post by yogiii on Sept 6, 2014 7:54:34 GMT -5
Reading potty books helped my son a lot I think. We started reading the books at about 1.5. We didn't try potty training until about 1 month before he turned 2.5, then we'd have him sit and try right before his bath at night so it became part of his routine. We kept telling him every night that soon he'd just wear underwear. Right around when he turned 2.5 we put him in underwear (except at night). He had 3 days of accidents and then was basically accident free. He asked to wear undies overnight shortly after he turned 3. He had about one accident a month overnight for the first couple months and then was fine with that too. I'm planning the same approach with my DD unless she expresses interest earlier. It was relatively stress free to wait until he was older and talking more.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Sept 6, 2014 7:59:44 GMT -5
I don't like pull ups because they are too much like a diaper so the child doesn't feel the consequences of peeing in them. I waited until my oldest was absolutely ready. I was pregnant when she turned 2 so the pediatrician told me to wait until the baby came to avoid her backtracking. So she was almost 2 1/2. The week after I delivered we started. She peed herself once, was totally grossed out by it and never peed herself again.
I'm not sure if it was so easy because I didn't push it when she was really young or the fact that I went straight to underwear. Whatever the reason, I had a very easy time with her
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teen persuasion
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Post by teen persuasion on Sept 6, 2014 8:39:03 GMT -5
I don't like pull ups because they are too much like a diaper so the child doesn't feel the consequences of peeing in them. I waited until my oldest was absolutely ready. I was pregnant when she turned 2 so the pediatrician told me to wait until the baby came to avoid her backtracking. So she was almost 2 1/2. The week after I delivered we started. She peed herself once, was totally grossed out by it and never peed herself again. I'm not sure if it was so easy because I didn't push it when she was really young or the fact that I went straight to underwear. Whatever the reason, I had a very easy time with her My oldest kids are in their twenties, so I really don't remember when I began potty training with them, but I do know they were reliably trained by 2 1/2, when the next baby arrived. DS5 took much longer, he was pretty good but had occasional accidents at 4. The differences: DS5 was the only baby I used disposable diapers with (cloth for the others), and he is the youngest, there was no baby after him so he held onto being the baby longer. I think using cloth diapers makes it uncomfortable enough that they want to go in the potty. An upcoming baby made my kids want to be the "big" kid, no longer a baby, so they were proud to ditch the need for diapers. I do remember having "prizes" for every time they went in the potty. I think we used Smarties - they got one, not a whole roll.
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