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Post by Deleted on Sept 5, 2014 9:11:52 GMT -5
It's time to sign up for swim lessons again, but my 4 year old is terrified of water deeper than 18 inches or so. He loves water parks with kid pools, but refuses to go in the deep water. I took him to a couple sessions of lessons when he was 2 which were parent/child and I was with him. That went fine, but they don't have those after age 3. Now he's expected to just get in the water (with water wings) and hold the side. I don't even think I could get him to go in with someone holding him anymore. He wouldn't do it this summer. I really think I'll be wasting $50 signing him up. He'll just stand by the side and cling to my leg. I'm seriously considering sucking it up and paying for a membership to the Y since it's a lot cheaper now that I'm single and making a point to taking both kids to the open swim a couple times a week. Maybe he would be enticed to go in if his brother was and there was no kiddie pool options. With all the stuff they do at the Y the $15/lesson/activity/camp discount would be nice too. By the time older son was 4 he was already a little fishy. He'd jump off the diving board and be able to make it to the side of the pool to get out. Younger son's Dad likes to boat on the river and is not the best swimmer himself. It makes me nervous to think DS may be out with him next summer with no swimming skills. Any tricks? Should I just sign him up for lessons and hope the teacher can convince him?
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Sharon
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Post by Sharon on Sept 5, 2014 9:15:37 GMT -5
Sign him up for the lessons and then leave. He can not cling to your leg if you are not there.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 5, 2014 9:18:09 GMT -5
It's time to sign up for swim lessons again, but my 4 year old is terrified of water deeper than 18 inches or so. He loves water parks with kid pools, but refuses to go in the deep water. I took him to a couple sessions of lessons when he was 2 which were parent/child and I was with him. That went fine, but they don't have those after age 3. Now he's expected to just get in the water (with water wings) and hold the side. I don't even think I could get him to go in with someone holding him anymore. He wouldn't do it this summer. I really think I'll be wasting $50 signing him up. He'll just stand by the side and cling to my leg. I'm seriously considering sucking it up and paying for a membership to the Y since it's a lot cheaper now that I'm single and making a point to taking both kids to the open swim a couple times a week. Maybe he would be enticed to go in if his brother was and there was no kiddie pool options. With all the stuff they do at the Y the $15/lesson/activity/camp discount would be nice too. By the time older son was 4 he was already a little fishy. He'd jump off the diving board and be able to make it to the side of the pool to get out. Younger son's Dad likes to boat on the river and is not the best swimmer himself. It makes me nervous to think DS may be out with him next summer with no swimming skills. Any tricks? Should I just sign him up for lessons and hope the teacher can convince him? he's not doing swim lessons with water wings, right? just sign him up. I'm sure he isn't the first kid the teacher has to coax.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Sept 5, 2014 9:19:55 GMT -5
I did that with my 2 at a party thing at a dojo. They still point out the dojo as "the place mommy left us."
MPL - I'm in a similar situation with Cabe. We did get him into the pool over July 4th weekend but most of his cousins where there to help lure him in. My gym has a salt water pool and since I'm doing kid pickup, my "plan" is to go there on MWF and work out or play in the pool. I think it's 4 feet deep but just getting him into the water is a win.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Sept 5, 2014 9:24:21 GMT -5
So.......I just took my 4 yr old to swimming this Wed. We got VERY lucky that he was the only kid there and instructor was able to basically spend the whole 45 min with him. I was there also and so were his brothers, and I thought that would have helped. Turns out he did MUCH better after I left.
But what she did was - she gave him toys and just allowed him to sit on the edge of the pool and every 10-15 min nonchalantly took him deeper and deeper.
According to the kid, he is still "nervous", but ready to go next week. We shall see
So, the bottom line - I think "mommy" being there didn't help at all, he did better once I left
The instructor has to be patient and know what she is doing - according to her it's a very typical behaviour of a 4 yr old.
So, I would try the lessons instead of the open swim. At least at first.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 5, 2014 9:24:37 GMT -5
It's time to sign up for swim lessons again, but my 4 year old is terrified of water deeper than 18 inches or so. He loves water parks with kid pools, but refuses to go in the deep water. I took him to a couple sessions of lessons when he was 2 which were parent/child and I was with him. That went fine, but they don't have those after age 3. Now he's expected to just get in the water (with water wings) and hold the side. I don't even think I could get him to go in with someone holding him anymore. He wouldn't do it this summer. I really think I'll be wasting $50 signing him up. He'll just stand by the side and cling to my leg. I'm seriously considering sucking it up and paying for a membership to the Y since it's a lot cheaper now that I'm single and making a point to taking both kids to the open swim a couple times a week. Maybe he would be enticed to go in if his brother was and there was no kiddie pool options. With all the stuff they do at the Y the $15/lesson/activity/camp discount would be nice too. By the time older son was 4 he was already a little fishy. He'd jump off the diving board and be able to make it to the side of the pool to get out. Younger son's Dad likes to boat on the river and is not the best swimmer himself. It makes me nervous to think DS may be out with him next summer with no swimming skills. Any tricks? Should I just sign him up for lessons and hope the teacher can convince him? he's not doing swim lessons with water wings, right? just sign him up. I'm sure he isn't the first kid the teacher has to coax. I don't know. I think they put something on them, but maybe not. The pool is 4 feet deep on the shallow end and in a class of 5 or 6 little kids with one teacher you'd think they'd have floats, but maybe not. I just don't want her to have to spend half of a 30 minute lesson trying to get him in and take away from the other kids.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 5, 2014 9:25:18 GMT -5
I don't know your kid, so this might work. However, I would have never walked off (not saying you will) and left either of my kids in a situation that seemed to terrify them.
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Sept 5, 2014 9:26:16 GMT -5
I'm a bitch, so you may want to take this with a grain of salt...
We had an inground pool at the old house. DD WAS going to learn how to swim, I don't care how scared, cold the water was, didn't like her swimsuite...etc.
We signed up for lessons at the local park district (the Y would work). Don't worry - those guys are pros and have at least one of "those kids" in every group.
Your son will be fine.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 5, 2014 9:26:52 GMT -5
he's not doing swim lessons with water wings, right? just sign him up. I'm sure he isn't the first kid the teacher has to coax. I don't know. I think they put something on them, but maybe not. The pool is 4 feet deep on the shallow end and in a class of 5 or 6 little kids with one teacher you'd think they'd have floats, but maybe not. I just don't want her to have to spend half of a 30 minute lesson trying to get him in and take away from the other kids. if they put something on them, you need to find a different class.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 5, 2014 9:39:16 GMT -5
I don't know. I think they put something on them, but maybe not. The pool is 4 feet deep on the shallow end and in a class of 5 or 6 little kids with one teacher you'd think they'd have floats, but maybe not. I just don't want her to have to spend half of a 30 minute lesson trying to get him in and take away from the other kids. if they put something on them, you need to find a different class. I can't remember if they do or not. It's been a long time since younger son had beginning lessons. No other class options anyhow. The Y is it in our town come Fall/Winter. I think park rec has something at the outdoor aquatic center in the summer which I probably should have done since they have a pool that goes to zero depth. I could wait until next year and hope he gets better, but I'm afraid it will go the other way and he'll just get more phobic.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 5, 2014 9:45:20 GMT -5
I was just thinking how much he would freak if I told him he had to go in with no life vest or anything. This summer the one time his Dad got him in the pool was with a life jacket and the promise that it would keep him afloat.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Sept 5, 2014 9:46:37 GMT -5
just keep trying. it took a while to get DD in the deep pool. She's now 6 and swims in deep water, dives, jumps off the diving board, and is generally fish like.
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Sept 5, 2014 9:46:39 GMT -5
I gave swimming lessons for years to little ones. Your son's behavior isn't all that unusual. Every kid is different. One four year old won't even put their toes in the water and you have to watch another four year old like a hawk to keep him from jumping in the deep end. Kids mature at different rates when it comes to being ready for swimming lessons.
I've seen parents cajole, attempt to force, bribe and humilate their kids to get the child to do what they want. Thing is? The child just isn't ready. He may be in another year. All the drama they created is going to accomplish is to get their kids to hate swimming in addition to being afraid.
I did see one mother handle the situation exceptionally well. They were a camping family and often camped by bodies of water. It was very important to her that her son learn to swim. She explained to him that if he wasn't ready, that was fine and they'd try it again next year, but until he learned to swim, he wasn't going to be able to participate in some of the activities the other kids were in while camping. It wouldd just be too dangerous for him to go down to the lake with the others unless he could swim. He finally got in after about 3 session and bless his heart - he was trying his hardest.
If he's not ready, give him another year. You might see a totally different child.
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Ryan
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Post by Ryan on Sept 5, 2014 9:48:17 GMT -5
My oldest is 6 years old and doesn't like to put his face in the water, although is overall swimming skills are pretty good (kicking, floating, treading water). I had him doing group lessons, but it was too easy for him to get by without really pushing himself so I put him in 1 on 1 lessons. He made a little more progress and is getting a bit more comfortable....I'm banking on the fact that he might just improve with age.
I've come to the conclusion that you probably need these kids in the water at a really early age where you have them putting their head under water. I know there are those parent/kid classes where they do that stuff...I never saw the point, but now I'm regretting that we didn't do it.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 5, 2014 9:48:50 GMT -5
I was just thinking how much he would freak if I told him he had to go in with no life vest or anything. This summer the one time his Dad got him in the pool was with a life jacket and the promise that it would keep him afloat. he can't take a swim class with a life vest on - that defeats the whole purpose. when he goes out on dad's boat he should definitely be wearing a coast guard approved vest but for swim lessons, no. I've never seen anyone take swim classes with anything and I've never taught swim classes where anyone wore anything. take him to the pool and let him watch you and DS1 having fun while he has to sit on the side. maybe that will convince him.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 5, 2014 9:54:20 GMT -5
I called them. They said they use floatation belts and kickboards for portions of the lessons.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Sept 5, 2014 9:54:58 GMT -5
he's not doing swim lessons with water wings, right? just sign him up. I'm sure he isn't the first kid the teacher has to coax. I don't know. I think they put something on them, but maybe not. The pool is 4 feet deep on the shallow end and in a class of 5 or 6 little kids with one teacher you'd think they'd have floats, but maybe not. I just don't want her to have to spend half of a 30 minute lesson trying to get him in and take away from the other kids. The last time we did lessons, they had those swim noodles and you used one to tie a knot around the kid's waist. You'd need to retie it every so often often and some noodles tied easier than others. But this was like the 3-4 year old classes which required an adult in the water with each kid. And what size shoe does Eli wear? I've got swim shoes (I think size 1) that were too small for Cabe.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Sept 5, 2014 9:55:28 GMT -5
I called them. They said they use floatation belts and kickboards for portions of the lessons. I've taught swimming and I like the kickboards, it get the kids in a position so they can practice kicking without their face in the water.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 5, 2014 9:57:15 GMT -5
I called them. They said they use floatation belts and kickboards for portions of the lessons. I've taught swimming and I like the kickboards, it get the kids in a position so they can practice kicking without their face in the water. right....I don't consider kickboards a flotation device as the kids can let go of them and they float away
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Sept 5, 2014 9:59:52 GMT -5
I called them. They said they use floatation belts and kickboards for portions of the lessons. Yeah, that's what they do here too. I do completely agree with GEL - they have to be ready. Water is definitely not something I would push the kid into.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Sept 5, 2014 10:00:07 GMT -5
My oldest is 6 years old and doesn't like to put his face in the water, although is overall swimming skills are pretty good (kicking, floating, treading water). I had him doing group lessons, but it was too easy for him to get by without really pushing himself so I put him in 1 on 1 lessons. He made a little more progress and is getting a bit more comfortable....I'm banking on the fact that he might just improve with age. I've come to the conclusion that you probably need these kids in the water at a really early age where you have them putting their head under water. I know there are those parent/kid classes where they do that stuff...I never saw the point, but now I'm regretting that we didn't do it. I sitll don't like to put my face in the water. And I'm 44. But I can swim - although not the breast stroke!
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Sept 5, 2014 10:00:37 GMT -5
Kickboards are an excellent tool in teaching the proper kicking technique and letting the kid get the feel of motoring around the pool. If they let go of them, they just stand up.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 5, 2014 10:11:15 GMT -5
Our entire pool is the deep end to him. The shallow side is still 4 feet. It's the not being able to touch that freaks him out. He was going down water slides this summer where he ended up under water at the bottom and didn't care as long as he could jump up and walk off it was all good.
They did say if they couldn't get him in I could get my $50 back.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 5, 2014 10:12:08 GMT -5
I don't know. I think they put something on them, but maybe not. The pool is 4 feet deep on the shallow end and in a class of 5 or 6 little kids with one teacher you'd think they'd have floats, but maybe not. I just don't want her to have to spend half of a 30 minute lesson trying to get him in and take away from the other kids. The last time we did lessons, they had those swim noodles and you used one to tie a knot around the kid's waist. You'd need to retie it every so often often and some noodles tied easier than others. But this was like the 3-4 year old classes which required an adult in the water with each kid. And what size shoe does Eli wear? I've got swim shoes (I think size 1) that were too small for Cabe. We just got him a pair this summer, but I think 12 or 13's?
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Sept 5, 2014 10:13:52 GMT -5
Our entire pool is the deep end to him. The shallow side is still 4 feet. It's the not being able to touch that freaks him out. He was going down water slides this summer where he ended up under water at the bottom and didn't care as long as he could jump up and walk off it was all good. They did say if they couldn't get him in I could get my $50 back. That's awesome! He's obviously not afraid to get his face wet and that's a huge step. He'll be ready in no time. Just be patient.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Sept 5, 2014 10:16:45 GMT -5
My DS hated swim lessons at age 4. It was a huge battle. We didn't force the issue after one go around. Our rule is that you can try whatever you like, but you have to stick it out for the entire length of the class or activity. Then you are free to choose not to do it again.
This year, I think we are joining a pool. We are going to visit it today, actually. DS, now 10, is willing to do semi private lessons. I'm most concerned about the baby, because she's willing to walk into water that goes way over her head, if it means doing what her siblings are doing.
Waiting wasn't an awful thing in our situation. He loves fishing, and we're thinking about getting a canoe at some point. I've told DS that if he wants to do anything other than fish while staying on the shore line, he needs to learn to swim. That's incentive enough for him, especially since the fishing camp he wants to go to next year will take him on several lakes.
I would also be concerned with only having one teacher. At our rec department, there are two teachers for a class of 6-8 kids. That way, one can deal with the crying kids and the other can teach.
I'd also be surprised that the Y would be OK with a parent dropping off a 4 yo for a class and then leaving the building. Swim lessons are a little different than preschool.
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bookkeeper
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Post by bookkeeper on Sept 5, 2014 10:19:10 GMT -5
Look into private (one on one) lessons. Many parents I know that have paid for them have been very pleased with the results.
Personally, I taught my own children to swim. I started with them very young, before one year of age, swimming at motel pools or open swims at the YMCA.
We bought a house with a swimming pool in 1998. Our kids were 9 and 6. People asked me if our boys had taken swimming lessons. I responded that swimming lessons were every day when you own a swimming pool.
We like to boat, fish and camp as well. Everyone needs to learn how to swim.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 5, 2014 10:27:07 GMT -5
Our entire pool is the deep end to him. The shallow side is still 4 feet. It's the not being able to touch that freaks him out. He was going down water slides this summer where he ended up under water at the bottom and didn't care as long as he could jump up and walk off it was all good. They did say if they couldn't get him in I could get my $50 back. That's awesome! He's obviously not afraid to get his face wet and that's a huge step. He'll be ready in no time. Just be patient. Yeah, here he is this summer on trip number 1256 down that slide. But try to carry him in the big pool and he screams and cries.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 5, 2014 10:29:45 GMT -5
Personally, I taught my own children to swim. I started with them very young, before one year of age, swimming at motel pools or open swims at the YMCA.
This is where I dropped the ball. I should have been taking him all along. He did fine in the 2 year old lessons and then we quit going. To be fair, there was all kinds of shit going on in our lives from 2 to 3.5 that distracted me. I'll bet he'd be fine if I'd kept him in sessions during that time.
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billisonboard
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Post by billisonboard on Sept 5, 2014 10:34:03 GMT -5
... Yeah, here he is this summer on trip number 1256 down that slide. But try to carry him in the big pool ... So he gets himself into the water but doesn't want to have someone else carry him into it?
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