Divorce attorney.

[nutty]

I have another meeting with one on Wed, this one seems to be more along the lines of filing the paperwork, ie on the website it gives prices for the different aspects (divorce with property, etc) now they may be more than that so we will see. I have another appointment (for 100.00) next tues, this is with a solo practice. So I have had two phone consults, one that I don't think was really that informative and the retainer was 1750.00 the other with a very informative attorney but her retainer was 4500.00. I am really hoping that after these next two appointments I can make a decision. I am terrified of choosing the wrong attorney. The one next tuesday I get a full hour for 100.00, that sounds promising as I do have a lot to ask.

How the heck do I choose.

[NancysSummerSip]

Aug 11, 2014 10:55:30 GMT -5 nutty said:

I have another meeting with one on Wed, this one seems to be more along the lines of filing the paperwork, ie on the website it gives prices for the different aspects (divorce with property, etc) now they may be more than that so we will see. I have another appointment (for 100.00) next tues, this is with a solo practice. So I have had two phone consults, one that I don't think was really that informative and the retainer was 1750.00 the other with a very informative attorney but her retainer was 4500.00. I am really hoping that after these next two appointments I can make a decision. I am terrified of choosing the wrong attorney. The one next tuesday I get a full hour for 100.00, that sounds promising as I do have a lot to ask.

How the heck do I choose.

Research, for starters. Ask both attorneys for referrals. Attorney-client privilege may prevent them from giving you specific names, though. An attorney on this board may know whether a client's name can be divulged as a referral if the client gives their approval.

Google their names to see what comes up.

Do a background check on them. Their names will come up as the attorney of record, of course, in many, many court cases. What you want to do is check and see if they have been named as defendants in any court cases.

Check with the Florida Bar, to see if they are members in good standing and if there are any pending disciplinary actions against them.

[Angel!]

Are you and your ex basically in agreement on the split of everything?  Or do you need to gear up for a fight?

If you are in agreement, then the attorney probably doesn't matter that much & can just get you through the paperwork.  Maybe you are stressing over nothing if this is the case.

If you think there will be a fight, I would go with the one that seems the best, even if they have a higher retainer.  You can get whatever isn't spent back & a low retainer doesn't mean a cheap divorce, it just means they collect more later.

[Nazgul Girl]

   I would look around for more attorneys to interview before making a decision.   A pool of two possible attorneys is too small.   Also, the retainers are widely divergent.   What is the hourly rate that each attorney charges ?   What is the hourly rate that is charged for work done by the staff ?   That can really add up.

[Deleted]

am I the only one who didn't do extensive attorney research before picking one for my separation/divorce?  I opened the yellow pages (2000) and picked one.  I would just ask someone you know who's divorced who they used, meet them and unless there was something horrible, go with them.

[Deleted]

Aug 11, 2014 11:15:32 GMT -5 Angel! said:

Are you and your ex basically in agreement on the split of everything?  Or do you need to gear up for a fight?

If you are in agreement, then the attorney probably doesn't matter that much & can just get you through the paperwork.  Maybe you are stressing over nothing if this is the case.

If you think there will be a fight, I would go with the one that seems the best, even if they have a higher retainer.  You can get whatever isn't spent back & a low retainer doesn't mean a cheap divorce, it just means they collect more later.

My first ex and I just shared an attorney to write everything up. It ended up costing about $1000 total including a QDRO and $400 of that was the court filing fee. 

[nutty]

I just googled, and picked. I have seen two and have two more appointments, so it will be four in all. <br>

[greeniis10]

Four is a pretty good pool to choose from.  Do you know who your STBX is using?  Do you expect a fight?  I guess see how you feel after you speak to all of them. 

Try to keep very detailed notes from each visit so that you can compare and not have to rely on your memory!

[Deleted]

Aug 11, 2014 11:23:06 GMT -5 @singlemominmd said:

am I the only one who didn't do extensive attorney research before picking one for my separation/divorce?  I opened the yellow pages (2000) and picked one.  I would just ask someone you know who's divorced who they used, meet them and unless there was something horrible, go with them.

I didn't.  I just picked our family attorney...which was basically just my Mom and her sister's friend from way back that did all their estate planning and such.  I had called a cousin first, but she wasn't taking on any new cases.  I think I could have shopped around and got a cheaper one, but he does a lot of divorces and I hear his name thrown around a lot.

[Regis]

If you need professional services, I certainly wouldn't choose a provider based solely on their fee.

[greenstone]

If you're in Florida, be sure to ask if the retainer is refundable.  Florida allows non-refundable retainers.  It has to be disclosed when you make payment, but make sure it is spelled out clearly beforehand.

[NoNamePerson]

I have lost track of the others posts, but you have moved out right? Me personally I would have had an attorney before I stepped out the door. I know that isn't what you asked, but just curious why so long in obtaining services. Maybe you were working it out on your own, if so, disregard my posts.

[souldoubt]

Even if it's amicable I've heard way too many horror stories in the great state of CA (no fault so spouse can cheat all day and still take you to the cleaners) to not lawyer up if I were ever getting divorced.  Even if you don't have much to divide up and/or things are amicable I would go with the CYA approach to be safe but again my views are jaded in large part due to this state laws.    

[nutty]

I had spoke to two lawyers before I left. Does anyone jump on the divorce wagon straightaway?

[nutty]

The last I saw of him he had brought me the paperwork for filing ourselves, he says (to me and our DD) that he can't come up with the 500.00 to file the paperwork. So he brought me the paperwork to look over , not sure why he really thought I would even look at the paperwork, I shoved it in the drawer. I am not doing this pro se, again not sure why he thinks I will.

[Deleted]

Aug 11, 2014 12:50:01 GMT -5 nutty said:

I had spoke to two lawyers before I left. Does anyone jump on the divorce wagon straightaway?

I thought he was done and the divorce was a given?  Are you going to attempt to reconcile?  I'd still have everything written up and let the attorney sit on the papers.  My first ex and I didn't officially divorce for two years, but everything was signed and ready to go that entire time.  You don't want to lose the advantage.  Right now he's willing to work with you and give you quite a bit.

[Deleted]

Aug 11, 2014 12:52:30 GMT -5 nutty said:

The last I saw of him he had brought me the paperwork for filing ourselves, he says (to me and our DD) that he can't come up with the 500.00 to file the paperwork. So he brought me the paperwork to look over , not sure why he really thought I would even look at the paperwork, I shoved it in the drawer. I am not doing this pro se, again not sure why he thinks I will.

You can still read what he's proposing though.  If you agree with it take it to an attorney and have them write it up and pay to file yourself.

[nutty]

Yeah we had a few (like 5) email exchanges, he put a few things down on paper. Again don't know what he is thinking at all, I just know I am not doing it pro se. After bringing me the paperwork he hasn't spoken to me.

I know what he is proposing, he put down like three things. I dunno.

[Deleted]

You don't have to do it pro se, but he sounds agreeable and just wants to get it over with as quickly and inexpensively as possible.  I think that's a good thing. 

[The Captain]

I would still get a lawyer even if he seems agreeable.  You want to make sure what you think you've agreed upon, is what's actually in the final papers.

[souldoubt]

Aug 11, 2014 13:08:45 GMT -5 The Captain said:

I would still get a lawyer even if he seems agreeable.  You want to make sure what you think you've agreed upon, is what's actually in the final papers.

Agreed.  When it comes to professional advice and services (lawyer, CPA, etc) actually retain a professional and err on the side of caution.  

[nutty]

Yeah I know I don't have to do it pro se, I guess I am looking for someone that has my back if it turns sour. After a few days of the few emails back and forth I really decided that there are more things I really should have in it, and those things he may not like. So even though I have a list and have an attorney do the paperwork I have to be prepared that he isn't going to like the proposal.

[greeniis10]

Yes, definitely get a lawyer and make sure everything is done legally, but I think looking at what he brought you would be a good idea.  Whatever he wrote down are probably things that are important to him and can be used as a bargaining tool to get what YOU want.

[nutty]

It was three things, it was not by any imagination very extensive. Alimony, he keeps the house and distribution of the 403b.

[Deleted]

Really, does it have to be extensive?  That pretty much covers it.  You don't have minor kids to worry about. 

[nutty]

Sorry YOU think it doesn't have to be extensive, and actually I said that his list was not extensive, not that I agreed or disagreed on the EXTENSIVENESS of it. Yes there are a few more things I have researched and would be a good NO great idea to have in there. I would like to hire an attorney or speak with one in regards to some of the things I have discovered and whether they are ok to put in there.

[Deleted]

Ok, so include what you want too. 

[nutty]

I am going to, but I want to have representation, I have a lot of questions regarding things that can be put in there.

[Deleted]

Aug 11, 2014 14:03:16 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Ok, so include what you want too. 

start with what he has and add your own stuff and send it back to him to look at.

[marvholly]

Like you, one of my DDs is going thru a divorce. Blew up quite suddenly in the last 8-10 weeks. She asked a family member who is an attorney for a referal. Got 2 and interviewed both. Also, a co-worker is in the same boat so DD interviewed her attorney. Decided on friend's attorney. retainer is about $2500. However, DD & SBX have already agreed on many items that are often problems (custody, visitation, holidays) and the county mandates the amount of child support. The attorney told her she may get some money back.

ETA:  Her papers are already filed and SBX has been served.