Self Esteem versus Self confidence

[nutty]

I feel like asking this question to get opinions on it.

What is the difference between self esteem and self confidence. Can a person have one without the other?

Edited to add Self Worth into the mix.

Edited and Edited again to add Self Acceptance and Self Respect (Miss M. told me that one). Hey does the period go in or outside the bracket?

[nutty]

A quick google. It would seem that I have self confidence but low self esteem. Back to googling

[Peace Of Mind]

Self esteem is how you feel about yourself as a person.  Self confidence is what you have and feel about your capabilities.  I found this that may help explain it better:

www.healthyplace.com/blogs/buildingselfesteem/2012/05/the-difference-between-self-esteem-and-self-confidence/

[nutty]

I guess I am not really get it or my brain is on shut down mode today. One of the sites I googled said self esteem comes from outside influences like someone complimenting you .. PSSHHH that hasn't happened in years.

[HoneyBBQ]

All I know is that I'm awesome... and you should think so, too!

[nutty]

I do honey I DO !!!!

[Shooby]

Well, why are you asking? You don't "need" to be anyone other than who you are.

[jkapp]

Jul 29, 2014 12:31:23 GMT -5 nutty said:

I feel like asking this question to get opinions on it.

What is the difference between self esteem and self confidence. Can a person have one without the other?

Edited to add Self Worth into the mix.

Edited and Edited again to add Self Acceptance and Self Respect (Miss M. told me that one). Hey does the period go in or outside the bracket?

I remember a teacher years gao explaining this in a funny way:

Having self-confidence means knowing you can do something; having low self-esteem means you hate yourself for doing it.

[nutty]

I am asking because I can. It is something I have thought about over the years and never really understood the difference. I know I can read it but I am having trouble GRASPING the concept.

[Shooby]

Ok, I was just curious.

[Shooby]

I personally think these things are overrated. There are far TOO many people with cocky self assured "confidence" who really have no skills or knowledge whatsoever. They got a lot of trophies for breathing when they were kids so they think their shite doesn't stink when in fact they are just idiots. But, at least they feel good about themselves!

[tloonya]

Great thread, honey.
I have a friend who's sister was always a beauty and she was the beast.
And she isn't a beast. She is just not such a beauty. Good looking woman.

So the beast was living in a shadow of the beauty.
Beast got married to a man who was good for nothing except they've got a beautiful child.
Beauty got married to a man good for nothing with narsissic complex. They got 2 beautiful children.

At the end beast left her husband and got married again and happily ever after.
The beauty kept forgiving her husband for affairs and kept taking him back until he left her for good for 20 y/younger woman.

So the moral is beauty had no self-esteem whatsoever. Even she was told her whole life she is a beauty - it done nothing to her
self-esteem. She was still doubting everything she saw in the mirror and had heard from people. So ether you are born with it or
not. You can't get it.

Beauty however was very good at her job and raising her kids, so when we talked about that she was always very confident in
her professional skills and worthiness of her children.
I say in this story self-worth for her would be same as self-confidence.
I think now that self-confidence is collective of everything above.
You can be self-confident at work and absolute mess at home.
But with good self-esteem you can't be mess at home. You know you will not tolerate bull and he knows, so it is all good.

[NancysSummerSip]

Jul 29, 2014 13:43:44 GMT -5 HoneyBBQ said:

All I know is that I'm awesome... and you should think so, too!

And speaking of Honey BBQ....didya know it's National Chicken Wing Day?

[nutty]

I like my chickens medium hot.

[tloonya]

Jul 29, 2014 14:50:13 GMT -5 nutty said:

I like my chickens medium hot.

Can you like chicken this way?

[greeniis10]

Tloonya's story is a very good example of self-esteem vs. self-confidence.  If you're told all the time how great and special you are but never develop any skills or become a productive member of society, you may have self-esteem but not self-confidence.

It works both ways, too.  DS2 is told a lot that he's cocky and arrogant, but he's been berated and put down by his father his whole life so he lacks self-esteem, but he IS self-confident in his job, his abilities to care for himself, his home, his vehicles, his dogs, etc. and his musical talent.

BOTH self-esteem and self-confidence are necessary to be a happy, well-rounded person, IMO.

[whoisjohngalt]

Jul 29, 2014 13:43:44 GMT -5 HoneyBBQ said:

All I know is that I'm awesome... and you should think so, too!

We do

[cronewitch]

Self esteem or self respect is liking who you are if you have skills or talent or not. Even a special child is worth the air they breath and have a self worth, there isn't a reason they should be treated as less than the typical sibling. Self confidence is knowing you are good at things or will become good at them. Take a task like doing a gymnastic move, some can, some can't and some just didn't learn it yet. Arrogance is thinking you are better than you are. Telling a child keep trying you can learn this is better than telling them they are too unable to ever learn it if it is something they can do. I am old woman who will never do gymnastic moves, I still have self respect and self esteem it is one of hundreds of things I can't do. I still deserve to be to treated well even if I lack some skills and talents.

[Shooby]

Very well said Crone.

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

I think you need to have self-esteem in order to have true self-confidence.

Anyone who doesn't have self-esteem (pride in themselves and how they act or behave), and *thinks* they have self-confidence, probably more likely has a sense of conceit, ego, arrogance, self-importance - whatever title you want to put on it.

[Shooby]

  Meh.  Just be yourself.

[kittensaver]

Jul 29, 2014 18:23:11 GMT -5 Shooby said:

  Meh.  Just be yourself.

But what if "yourself" is a hot mess?

[Shooby]

According to whom?

[Shooby]

  I dunno.  Life would be pretty boring without a few hot messes around.  So what?

[Miss Tequila]

Jul 29, 2014 18:49:58 GMT -5 kittensaver said:

Jul 29, 2014 18:23:11 GMT -5 Shooby said:

  Meh.  Just be yourself.

But what if "yourself" is a hot mess?

I'm an awesome hot mess!

[nutty]

I am an awesome hot mess who makes epic bad decisions right now, and I am okay with that for now.

[Shooby]

Why? So you aren't "allowed" to be emotional or express your feelings or whatever because someone ELSE has decided that you shouldn't? There are always going to be naysayers trying to tell you what is "wrong" with you. Maybe they are emotionless, dead, cold corpses. What makes THEM right?