What do you do when religious missionaries come to your door

[Tennesseer]

For all the suggestions I have made to ward off missionaries, I must say I have never been rude to any them.  I live in a relatively safe neighborhood so my front door is always open because it faces south and lets in a lot of light. The storm door though is always locked.  So those at the front door see me and I see them.  There is no escaping them.

So I am at the mercy of answering the door when unwanted guests ring it. While I do not believe in God, and when they start telling me the reason for the visit, I honestly answer them I was raised Roman Catholic and am not interested and send them on their way with a wave and a thank you.

The only time I have ever been rude to someone was last month when someone came to my door wanting me to subscribe to his employer's security system. The young man trying to sell me the services of his security company told me the name of the company, Vivant. I told him to get off my property because the security company he represented was the new name for APX Alarm Security in which I had a dispute with a few years earlier and which was eventually resolved through the BBB.  

[zibazinski]

Yes, you DO come to our door to convert/annoy us. Otherwise you would not. But keep finding excuses for your bad behavior by making those who are rude at being intruded upon behaving badly. Funny no one ever calls CPS on those forcing children to go door to door in the name of whatever flavor of religion of the month. That's REAL abuse.

[Deleted]

Jul 21, 2014 14:51:50 GMT -5 Green Eyed Lady said:

I'm wondering, for all those who are so offended to the point they feel it's ok to be rude, if they ever had a child who was a Girl Scout, or a Boy Scout, or a teenager who had to sell pizzas for a class project?  Did you ever have a kid who was required to sell magazines to fund prom?  If so, I'm wondering how you would have felt if someone had been nasty to your kid because they DARED come on to their private property without an invitation?  Because some of these missionaries are just teenagers with real-life feelings.  Unfortunately, God doesn't shield us from nasty people.

If it's just religion you object to, I can absolutely see that.  But don't pretend it is some invasion on your personal space or your very busy day, or some huge show of disrespect.  Just say so.  Heck, I'd agree with you.  I don't like it either but it's no excuse to be nasty.

I don't discriminate, I don't answer the door to anyone I did not invite. 

It really is a thing with me, its my property, my home...get lost and leave me alone. 

[Firebird]

One of my good friends used to have a sign on her door which said "If you're not expected, you're not invited."  I loved it

I really hate people dropping in on me unexpectedly for any reason.  I've done door to door sales so I understand what constant rejection feels like and I do sympathize with people who have to do that (or feel like they have to do that).  But it doesn't make me any less annoyed at the intrusion.  Despite knowing exactly how they feel from personal experience, I've shut the door in people's faces before if I've said "no thank you" and they're still not shutting up.

I've never had an evangelism visit though.  Only salespeople. 

[Gardening Grandma]

Jul 21, 2014 15:31:49 GMT -5 Green Eyed Lady said:

Sorry...I call bs on the whole "nobodyevercametomydoorinmywholelifesellingsomethingotherthanthosereligionpusher".  I'd buy that if you lived on Mars.  Otherwise...uh uh.  Nope.  Don't buy it. 

ETA:  I misread the post.  It said "my children have never...", not that nobody had ever come to their door.  My bad.

I don't care whether you buy it or not.  In the 7 years we have lived here (rural, secluded, private area), I have not had a single person come to our door uninvited except religious missionaries.  Not one Girl Scout, not one door to door salesman; it's just too far out.  We have not even had a single Halloween Trick or Treater (to my disappointment). 

But every few months, we get religion pushers.  

[Abby Normal]

I want to thank all those here who have explained all the reasons why they never answer the door to anyone uninvited. I will keep that in mind the next time I have to go knock on my neighbors door to tell them they have left their hose on again, and they are flooding our yard again.

Last time I called the police and had them do a wellness check because I knew she was home and she refused to answer the door. And their hose had been running for 24 hours.

[Malarky]

If you're my neighbor, you know to come to the side door.  

[Gardening Grandma]

Jul 21, 2014 17:38:37 GMT -5 Abby Normal said:

I want to thank all those here who have explained all the reasons why they never answer the door to anyone uninvited. I will keep that in mind the next time I have to go knock on my neighbors door to tell them they have left their hose on again, and they are flooding our yard again.

Last time I called the police and had them do a wellness check because I knew she was home and she refused to answer the door. And their hose had been running for 24 hours.

You can't just telephone her?

[Abby Normal]

Jul 21, 2014 17:43:50 GMT -5 Malarky said:

If you're my neighbor, you know to come to the side door.  

This is the neighbor behind us.  Their side door is behind a 6 foot fence.  That is called trespassing. 

[Abby Normal]

Jul 21, 2014 17:44:07 GMT -5 Gardening Grandma said:

Jul 21, 2014 17:38:37 GMT -5 Abby Normal said:

I want to thank all those here who have explained all the reasons why they never answer the door to anyone uninvited. I will keep that in mind the next time I have to go knock on my neighbors door to tell them they have left their hose on again, and they are flooding our yard again.

Last time I called the police and had them do a wellness check because I knew she was home and she refused to answer the door. And their hose had been running for 24 hours.

You can't just telephone her?

No. We don't know them because you never see them and they don't answer the door when you knock.  A little hard to introduce yourself.

[Deleted]

Jul 21, 2014 17:43:50 GMT -5 Malarky said:

If you're my neighbor, you know to come to the side door.  

EXACTLY, my friends and family always use the back door.
The only people who knock on my front door are not invited. 

Oh this will really make some of you really mad, I've taught my children not to answer the door too. lol

[violagirl]

Just curious, violagirl... maybe you can help me understand this. If it's not your place to judge who will or won't want to be a JW, why is it your responsibility to spread the word?

As Plain Old Petunia says, people will get in touch with you if they're interested in learning more about your religion. Why is it incumbent upon you to reach out to them?

Ok to those who find it offensive - I am going to answer Firebirds question - you can skip this post. 

In a nutshell, Jesus told his followers to make disciples (Matt. 28), sent them out to seek people in their homes (Matt. 10), first century Christians did it (Acts 5). So we follow their example. We don't believe in hell so that's not really an issue. It is still an effective way to reach people. Contrary to what some people think, there are plenty of people who actually do enjoy discussing stuff. Not everyone is going to want what we have to offer and that is totally their choice but at least they can make an informed decision. It is also kind of like,  you know when you first fall in love? You talk about that person all the time. You find opportunities to bring up why that person is so great. I guess we are kind of in love with God. 

Jesus didn't sit around waiting for people to come to him so we don't either. 

As for children going in the ministry. I don't see people protesting vigorously about all the Catholic babies being baptized. Do you leave your kids home when you go to church? I was raised as a JW so from personal experience it is not a big deal. It's probably not as easy as eating chocolate bunnies, but it makes you think about what you believe and why you believe it even as a kid since you have to be able to explain it. Also you get to meet people from many different backgrounds and faiths or non-faiths as the case may be so you aren't just exposed to your parents beliefs but other peoples opinions too. While children may be raised as JW, they are not baptized as children. I was 15 before I made my decision. 

I do find it interesting that kids can be raised all the same in the same family but have different views. My best friend is a JW. Was raised as one the same as me. Her sister also. But her sister always hated being different from all the other kids at school and as soon as she left home she left the faith. Her parents didnt'  beat her or were not crazy strict or anything, it just wasn't for her. 

Also to the question whether I'd talk to someone who came to my door to talk about Islam. Sure. Why not? 

I can see some people being slightly annoyed if they are busy by a knock at the door, but am sincerely puzzled by people who are violent about it. I do know some people have had very bad experiences with religion so I guess from that point of view I can see why there would be anger simmering in them. But from my perspective, I've had a pretty great life, I have loving parents, get along with my siblings and have made some great life long friends - it's been all good. There is not much I get passionately angry about - except maybe pet food companies using corn as filler in cat food. Then again, if you want to feed your obligate carnivore corn, I guess that is up to you. 

[Abby Normal]

Jul 21, 2014 18:01:53 GMT -5 @joey said:

Jul 21, 2014 17:43:50 GMT -5 Malarky said:

If you're my neighbor, you know to come to the side door.  

EXACTLY, my friends and family always use the back door.
The only people who knock on my front door are not invited. 

Oh this will really make some of you really mad, I've taught my children not to answer the door too. lol

That is what I think if funny.  She's left her hose on and it's flooding my yard and some how I'm the rude one for knocking on her door uninvited.

DH says next time it happens he's going to hang a sign from our sliding glass door that says " TURN YOUR F&%* HOSE OFF".   See I think that would be rude.

[Gardening Grandma]

She's left her hose on and it's flooding my yard and some how I'm the rude one for knocking on her door uninvited.

I don't see anything rude about knocking on her door because her hose is flooding your yard.  That is a perfectly legitimate reason (imo) to knock on someone's door.

DH says next time it happens he's going to hang a sign from our sliding glass door that says " TURN YOUR F&%* HOSE OFF". See I think that would be rude.
That's just funny

[Green Eyed Lady]

Well said, violagirl. 

[Plain Old Petunia]

Jul 21, 2014 18:20:08 GMT -5 violagirl said:

Just curious, violagirl... maybe you can help me understand this. If it's not your place to judge who will or won't want to be a JW, why is it your responsibility to spread the word?

As Plain Old Petunia says, people will get in touch with you if they're interested in learning more about your religion. Why is it incumbent upon you to reach out to them?

Ok to those who find it offensive - I am going to answer Firebirds question - you can skip this post. 

In a nutshell, Jesus told his followers to make disciples (Matt. 28), sent them out to seek people in their homes (Matt. 10), first century Christians did it (Acts 5). So we follow their example. We don't believe in hell so that's not really an issue. It is still an effective way to reach people. Contrary to what some people think, there are plenty of people who actually do enjoy discussing stuff. Not everyone is going to want what we have to offer and that is totally their choice but at least they can make an informed decision. It is also kind of like,  you know when you first fall in love? You talk about that person all the time. You find opportunities to bring up why that person is so great. I guess we are kind of in love with God. 

Jesus didn't sit around waiting for people to come to him so we don't either. 

As for children going in the ministry. I don't see people protesting vigorously about all the Catholic babies being baptized. Do you leave your kids home when you go to church? I was raised as a JW so from personal experience it is not a big deal. It's probably not as easy as eating chocolate bunnies, but it makes you think about what you believe and why you believe it even as a kid since you have to be able to explain it. Also you get to meet people from many different backgrounds and faiths or non-faiths as the case may be so you aren't just exposed to your parents beliefs but other peoples opinions too. While children may be raised as JW, they are not baptized as children. I was 15 before I made my decision. 

I do find it interesting that kids can be raised all the same in the same family but have different views. My best friend is a JW. Was raised as one the same as me. Her sister also. But her sister always hated being different from all the other kids at school and as soon as she left home she left the faith. Her parents didnt'  beat her or were not crazy strict or anything, it just wasn't for her. 

Also to the question whether I'd talk to someone who came to my door to talk about Islam. Sure. Why not? 

I can see some people being slightly annoyed if they are busy by a knock at the door, but am sincerely puzzled by people who are violent about it. I do know some people have had very bad experiences with religion so I guess from that point of view I can see why there would be anger simmering in them. But from my perspective, I've had a pretty great life, I have loving parents, get along with my siblings and have made some great life long friends - it's been all good. There is not much I get passionately angry about - except maybe pet food companies using corn as filler in cat food. Then again, if you want to feed your obligate carnivore corn, I guess that is up to you. 

Honey, not wanting to be bothered in my own home by trespassers does not equal "violent".    

[les63]

I find this thread hilarious. Of all things in this world to bitch about. Are you kidding me? We have rented this house for almost 2 years. This past Easter we had Jehovah Witness drop by just to let us know that they had a celebration and invited me/us. No pushing, just thanked him and accepted the pamphlet. Once in 2 years.

I was brought up to be polite. I am 50 years old and There is a lot more crap in life that upsets me more then random "religious" people wandering neighborhoods willy nilly.

Life is WAY too short to whine about this. Maybe check that chip on your shoulder. Just saying.....IMHO.

[truthbound]

If someone is knocking on my door that means they trespassed across several acres to get here. Being a Mormon is the least of their worries at that point.

[973beachbum]

Jul 21, 2014 18:25:34 GMT -5 Abby Normal said:

Jul 21, 2014 18:01:53 GMT -5 @joey said:

EXACTLY, my friends and family always use the back door.
The only people who knock on my front door are not invited. 

Oh this will really make some of you really mad, I've taught my children not to answer the door too. lol

That is what I think if funny.  She's left her hose on and it's flooding my yard and some how I'm the rude one for knocking on her door uninvited.

DH says next time it happens he's going to hang a sign from our sliding glass door that says " TURN YOUR F&%* HOSE OFF".   See I think that would be rude.

I don't think that is remotely the same thing as a solicitation, religious or otherwise.  You have an absolute right to not have your property flooded.   Your husbands idea for a sign would probably be more polite than mine if it happened more than once and they refused to answer the door.

As far as religious people knocking we get people about once a month.  I will say most are pretty pushy IMO.  I mean that as in I say no thank you and they will actually argue with me.    My beef is they came to me uninvited and decided it was their job to push their religion on me not the other way around.  Once I said a polite no thank you they should have said bye and left.  Standing there arguing with me is the rude part IMO. 


And for the record I have never had a kid I didn't know selling anything knock at my door.  My kids never did it either.  The rules for decades has been no door to door sales.  You can only sell to people you know.

[raeoflyte]

Viola-thank you for your response. You would know better than I do, but I think despite many responses here, most people will start with a no thank you and only get agitated if the person continues to push.

I'm curious how the church teaches/organizes the door to door missionary work. You mentioned that recently they've talked about not peeking in windows or going to back doors. The fact that those have to be brought up (to me anyway) explains why some get so.upset with anyone coming to the door.


Side note: I think its sad that everyone is so opposed to kids doing door to door sales. My mom was always with me, but I felt that taught real life skills.

Sent from my ADR6410LVW using proboards

[violagirl]

Raeoflyte - It was a reminder to be mindful of treating others using the Golden Rule. To realize we are unexpected. And no one wants anyone peeking in their windows. sheesh. Most of us do not have to be reminded of this but obviously some people are clueless. I personally do not even like using a side door, I was raised to believe front door was more formal and for unknown visitors, but many people either don't have steps to their front door or don't bother shovelling it out or obviously never use it. I know there is one lady in my congregation that is starting to suffer from Alzeheimers and we shudder to think what she does. She's not always easy to direct.

As for how we are trained/organized. Every week we have a meeting that teaches public speaking. There is a schedule and it is good to be prepared. So part of it we are assigned a portion of the Bible to read, then people comment on what they got out of it or interesting points or stuff like that. Then a portion is read. When you are able to read you can sign up for the school so a part on the school can be as simple as a Bible reading or a 5 min talk about a subject or acting out a skit on how to teach a subject that could come up in the ministry. Then the instructor commends us on what we did right - whether it was logical development or use of illustrations or a good conclusion etc. General public speaking stuff. After the meeting you can be privately counselled on things you might do better. After this meeting, there is another one that focuses more on the mechanics of the ministry. Ideas about what we could talk about, skits on how to do it or matters that are pertinent to the local congregation. Like whether we need a new roof or something like that. 

As for how it is organized, each congregation has a specific area to cover. So a map is broken up into territories and you can sign them out to cover a particular area. I used to always get the territory where all the maple camps were in the spring. 

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

While I do not believe in God, and when they start telling me the reason for the visit, I honestly answer them I was raised Roman Catholic and am not interested and send them on their way with a wave and a thank you.

And that works? When my mom told the JWs that they started coming by two times a week! I found it hysterical.

[Tennesseer]

Jul 22, 2014 8:28:06 GMT -5 violagirl said:

Raeoflyte - It was a reminder to be mindful of treating others using the Golden Rule. To realize we are unexpected. And no one wants anyone peeking in their windows. sheesh. Most of us do not have to be reminded of this but obviously some people are clueless. I personally do not even like using a side door, I was raised to believe front door was more formal and for unknown visitors, but many people either don't have steps to their front door or don't bother shovelling it out or obviously never use it. I know there is one lady in my congregation that is starting to suffer from Alzeheimers and we shudder to think what she does. She's not always easy to direct.

As for how we are trained/organized. Every week we have a meeting that teaches public speaking. There is a schedule and it is good to be prepared. So part of it we are assigned a portion of the Bible to read, then people comment on what they got out of it or interesting points or stuff like that. Then a portion is read. When you are able to read you can sign up for the school so a part on the school can be as simple as a Bible reading or a 5 min talk about a subject or acting out a skit on how to teach a subject that could come up in the ministry. Then the instructor commends us on what we did right - whether it was logical development or use of illustrations or a good conclusion etc. General public speaking stuff. After the meeting you can be privately counselled on things you might do better. After this meeting, there is another one that focuses more on the mechanics of the ministry. Ideas about what we could talk about, skits on how to do it or matters that are pertinent to the local congregation. Like whether we need a new roof or something like that. 

As for how it is organized, each congregation has a specific area to cover. So a map is broken up into territories and you can sign them out to cover a particular area. I used to always get the territory where all the maple camps were in the spring. 

Is this church member who is showing signs of Alzheimer's disease going out alone or is someone with him/her?   For his/her own safety and others, they need to be constantly monitored

[Tennesseer]

Jul 22, 2014 8:32:04 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

While I do not believe in God, and when they start telling me the reason for the visit, I honestly answer them I was raised Roman Catholic and am not interested and send them on their way with a wave and a thank you.

And that works? When my mom told the JWs that they started coming by two times a week! I found it hysterical.

It only works for the two or three at the door each time.  Allegedly here in Memphis, there are more churches than gas stations, so the missionary visits are frequent.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

It was the same group every time at my parent's house. I told my mom I think you pissed the lady in charge off and now they think you're a challenge. My mom was going to plant a bathtub Virgin Mary in the yard to get the point across if they didn't stop coming around.

Eventually they did but for awhile there it was insane how many times they showed up in a week.

[Tennesseer]

Jul 22, 2014 8:48:01 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

It was the same group every time at my parent's house. I told my mom I think you pissed the lady in charge off and now they think you're a challenge. My mom was going to plant a bathtub Virgin Mary in the yard to get the point across if they didn't stop coming around.

Eventually they did but for awhile there it was insane how many times they showed up in a week.

Your mom should have kept a two-horned headband by the front door for use when the door bell rang.

[Pants]

Two things:
1) There is a big gap between friendly and rude. Just because I'm not friendly to people who are unwelcome doesn't mean I'm automatically rude to them either.

2) When the way you do "minister" is a national touchpoint on being overly persistent, intrusive and unwelcome, it may be time to readjust your outlook.

[Deleted]

I don't usually answer the door if I'm not expecting someone. But....

If a neighbor knocks on my door because they need to talk to me, no problem.

If a kid knocks on my door because they're selling something for school or an organization they're in, I probably won't buy anything, but no problem

If an adult knocks on my door because the company they work for operates like that, if I happen to answer and they go away when I tell them I'm not interested, no problem. They're just doing their job.

As far as the missionaries, you can usually spot them. I usually don't answer the door. If I do answer and tell them I'm not interested and they respect that and go away, no problem. If they start asking me questions when I say I'm not interested, we start to have a problem. If they go away and come back in a few weeks, we have a problem. It's when they keep coming back that I feel they are being completely disrespectful.

I have a friend that is a member of a religion that does this. You can't win with them. If you don't answer the door, they're coming back. If you do answer and say whatever, they're coming back. According to him, they keep a list and they're going to keep coming back in the hopes that one day you'll listen to them. That kind of pisses me off. I use to work at night, I don't want someone ringing my doorbell, disturbing me, trying to convert me when I've already told them I'm not interested in what they're talking about. Being so disrespectful is not going to make me listen.

[Firebird]

Jesus didn't sit around waiting for people to come to him so we don't either.

He also didn't go door to door.  He preached for people who wanted to listen.

One of my favorite bloggers is an evangelical Christian and also extremely liberal - not a typical mixture, and it makes for a very compassionate guy with really interesting views.  He writes frequently about the nature of evangelism, and the proper relationship for it. 

Here's one of my favorite posts of his, if anyone is interested.

www.patheos.com/blogs/slacktivist/2006/02/21/lb-hospitality-vs-sales/

I encourage anyone who feels compelled to evangelize to read that article and consider the nature of what they're doing.  Are you evangelizing - or are you selling?  I believe that you're sharing a very important part of your life, but if you've never met the person you're talking to, why should they be interested in hearing about it (any more than you'd be terribly interested in hearing about what's important to them)?

Just some food for thought. 

[ArchietheDragon]

They didn't have doors in Jesus's time.