What do you do when religious missionaries come to your door

[Deleted]

Jul 21, 2014 9:57:46 GMT -5 laterbloomer said:

How do people just not answer the door? Even if it is just to tell them to go away, I answer the door when someone knocks unless it is late at night.

Yeah, that flabbergasts me too.  I just would never consider not answering the door.

We rarely get any religion pushers though.  In 14 years, I can honestly only recall once or twice and it's been a number of years.  I took their pamphlets and thanked them, but for the most part made it known that I didn't want to sit and discuss anything.  I promptly tossed what they gave me after they left. 

[Green Eyed Lady]

Jul 21, 2014 13:04:06 GMT -5 Abby Normal said:

Jul 21, 2014 12:56:10 GMT -5 Pants said:

I don't see someone sharing what they believe as disrespecting yours. Unless they are actually saying " I'm right and you're wrong" which I've had happen but by a fringe church, not by the LDS or JW's that have come to the door.

Some take joy in sharing their beliefs on religion, just as many of us here take joy in sharing our beliefs about money. But we do tend to say " I'm right and you're wrong" , because well, we are right.

Agreed.  Disagreeing and disrespecting are two different things.  I don't agree with sheila's views but I highly respect them as her beliefs and highly respect her as a person.  "Disrespect" is getting to be one of those silly buzzwords and excuses people give for being an ass.  It's like on those football sports shows where the guys get up there and yell about "Dude disrespectin' me!."  It's overused and rarely accurate IMO.  Obviously, we all feel we are "right" about our beliefs - otherwise they wouldn't be our beliefs.  I think that goes without saying and it has nothing to do with being disrespectful.

[Gardening Grandma]

We have found something that gives us hope for the future and has been really good in our lives, obviously something that good has to be shared. We also believe we are accountable to God for failure to share this news if we do not

I get that - and for that reason I am as polite as I can be. BUT, we live in a rural, secluded area because we value our privacy. When religious missionaries come to our house, they have to go quite a ways off the beaten path to find us. That is on purpose. I resent the assumption that I have nothing better to do than listen to a stranger's religious views. I listen until they pause for a breath, then I tell them that I have no interest and close the door.

[souldoubt]

I don't answer my door if it's a solicitor or someone I don't know just like I don't answer my phone if it's a number I don't recognize or an unknown caller.  I'm not looking to have someone try to sell me on a product, a charitable organization or religion.  To each their own.  

[Plain Old Petunia]

Jul 21, 2014 11:37:06 GMT -5 violagirl said:

I think this is an interesting topic of conversation. To give perspective on the missionary side:

I suppose I can't speak for all faiths, and I think perhaps people who are religious may understand our side a bit better but it takes a lot of courage and it definitely is NOT my natural inclination to go to your door to talk to you about religion especially when most responses are "not interested".  I don't get many really rude people, but we kind of know what to expect walking up to a door. We try really hard not to judge people before we meet them. By that I mean - when you anticipate a rude welcome..you kind of are already on the defensive before you even meet the person. So you have to will yourself to assume everyone is friendly until proven otherwise. Being really friendly will throw us off probably more so than being rude. 

We do not come to your door because we enjoy annoying you. It is generally for two reasons. We have found something that gives us hope for the future and has been really good in our lives, obviously something that good has to be shared. We also believe we are accountable to God for failure to share this news if we do not. Now we know not everyone will want to be a JW. That is totally up to them, but it is not our place to judge who will or who won't.

We just had a discussion this week about how we should behave. ie peeking in windows is NOT acceptable behaviour. Also not wandering around to the back of the house if we hear people on the deck. Not launching immediately into "what do you think the purpose of life is" when someone opens the door. I personally respect no soliciting and no trespassing signs. However, there are varying levels of education and background, general social cluelessness and crazy so not everyone you talk to will be the same.  

Well lah-tee-da. You have no right to come to my private property uninvited. If you do not care for my manners when you show up anyway, I have a solution for you:   stay away.

[Plain Old Petunia]

Jul 21, 2014 13:51:37 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Jul 21, 2014 9:57:46 GMT -5 laterbloomer said:

How do people just not answer the door? Even if it is just to tell them to go away, I answer the door when someone knocks unless it is late at night.

Yeah, that flabbergasts me too.  I just would never consider not answering the door.

We rarely get any religion pushers though.  In 14 years, I can honestly only recall once or twice and it's been a number of years.  I took their pamphlets and thanked them, but for the most part made it known that I didn't want to sit and discuss anything.  I promptly tossed what they gave me after they left. 

My ex-husband had a strict no-answering-the-door-for-people-you-do-not-know-very-well policy.   He is a deputy sheriff, and insisted lots of violent crimes begin with someone opening the front door.

[Deleted]

I don't answer the door most of the time. I don't have to.

[whoami]

Well people certainly "show their ass" on topics like this don't they?

[sheilaincali]

Agreed. Disagreeing and disrespecting are two different things. I don't agree with sheila's views but I highly respect them as her beliefs and highly respect her as a person. "Disrespect" is getting to be one of those silly buzzwords and excuses people give for being an ass. It's like on those football sports shows where the guys get up there and yell about "Dude disrespectin' me!." It's overused and rarely accurate IMO. Obviously, we all feel we are "right" about our beliefs - otherwise they wouldn't be our beliefs. I think that goes without saying and it has nothing to do with being disrespectful

Thanks  

I don't "get" religion.  I've tried to understand it but I just flat out don't have that blind faith thing.  I admire people that can have that much faith in anything, but it's not for me.  That doesn't mean that I am disrespectful to people that have a belief system.  I find religions fascinating.  The different belief systems- the small nuances between the different religions, etc.  Fascinating.  My son's BFF is the son of a Lutheran minister.  She wants her kids to make their own choices and has requested that they attend her Lutheran masses 50% of the Sundays but on the others they are encourage to research other religions.  That kid is extremely well versed on most religions and can talk intelligently on them.  I love it when he comes over to hang out with the Boy because I get a kick out of talking to him. 

I don't agree with a whole lot of people.  I disagree agree with the "armed mommy" posts I keep seeing on facebook.  I disagree with the people that think same sex marriages should be illegal.  The list goes on- but I do respect that people have the right to have their own opinion.

The only one that disrespects my atheists views is my dad.  He's Catholic and keeps trying to tell me I'm just going through a phase.  Or that he has a new Priest at the church and I should give it a try again.  Usually I just tell him No Thank you.  Once when he was getting persistent I snapped and told him that I don't try to convince him to stop being a Catholic to match my beliefs so I'd appreciate it if he stopped trying to make me into a Catholic.  He's backed off for the most part.

[violagirl]

Jul 21, 2014 12:56:10 GMT -5 Pants said:

Jul 21, 2014 11:37:06 GMT -5 violagirl said:

Right. You believe. By evangelizing to me, you are inherently disrespecting my beliefs.

bsbound I see your point. You do not want to discuss religion with someone you don't know. However, I'm not sure how you would expect someone like me to know you feel so strongly? I have the spirit but I'm not clairvoyent. I would think it would be more disrespectful to make the decision for you and leave you out. 

It might be a regional thing, but where I live, even when people don't want to talk about religion, they generally will have a brief friendly conversation about other things. Which is a neighbourly thing to do. If I meet someone who is elderly, I have shovelled their steps while I was there and I would do it whether they listened or not, just because it is the right thing to do. I have also offered to go to the store for someone who was sick. 

[Abby Normal]

Jul 21, 2014 13:38:55 GMT -5 Pants said:

Jul 21, 2014 13:04:06 GMT -5 Abby Normal said:

I don't see someone sharing what they believe as disrespecting yours. Unless they are actually saying " I'm right and you're wrong" which I've had happen but by a fringe church, not by the LDS or JW's that have come to the door.

Some take joy in sharing their beliefs on religion, just as many of us here take joy in sharing our beliefs about money. But we do tend to say " I'm right and you're wrong" , because well, we are right.

And I do. 

Why would they bother if they weren't convinced they were right and I was wrong? Or un-informed? Or misguided?

They don't know when they knock on your door what faith you are.  Do they believe they are right- yes, as does every religion and those that are atheist.  I have never had one door knocker tell me I was wrong for believing what I do. Merely they seek to educate people on what they believe.  I've never felt threatened or like it was an attempt to convert me.

I guess I prefer not to judge,  be open minded and  gain knowledge on why others believe what they do. It doesn't effect what I believe.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

The Mormon boys were always nice/respectful when they came around. Haven't seen any for awhile.

The JWs that drove around our neighborhood got obnoxious after awhile. They'd peep in your windows and go around to the back door if you had one.   If we're not opening the door it means we're either not home or we are but don't want to talk to you. 

The one time they showed up it was a good 15 minutes before they gave up.

Haven't seen them in quite awhile either, which I am happy about.

[Green Eyed Lady]

Jul 21, 2014 14:20:58 GMT -5 whoami said:

Well people certainly "show their ass" on topics like this don't they?

LOL!!!  Yes they (I) do!!!

[Green Eyed Lady]

Jul 21, 2014 14:27:41 GMT -5 sheilaincali said:

Agreed. Disagreeing and disrespecting are two different things. I don't agree with sheila's views but I highly respect them as her beliefs and highly respect her as a person. "Disrespect" is getting to be one of those silly buzzwords and excuses people give for being an ass. It's like on those football sports shows where the guys get up there and yell about "Dude disrespectin' me!." It's overused and rarely accurate IMO. Obviously, we all feel we are "right" about our beliefs - otherwise they wouldn't be our beliefs. I think that goes without saying and it has nothing to do with being disrespectful

Thanks  

I don't "get" religion.  I've tried to understand it but I just flat out don't have that blind faith thing.  I admire people that can have that much faith in anything, but it's not for me.  That doesn't mean that I am disrespectful to people that have a belief system.  I find religions fascinating.  The different belief systems- the small nuances between the different religions, etc.  Fascinating.  My son's BFF is the son of a Lutheran minister.  She wants her kids to make their own choices and has requested that they attend her Lutheran masses 50% of the Sundays but on the others they are encourage to research other religions.  That kid is extremely well versed on most religions and can talk intelligently on them.  I love it when he comes over to hang out with the Boy because I get a kick out of talking to him. 

I don't agree with a whole lot of people.  I disagree agree with the "armed mommy" posts I keep seeing on facebook.  I disagree with the people that think same sex marriages should be illegal.  The list goes on- but I do respect that people have the right to have their own opinion.

The only one that disrespects my atheists views is my dad.  He's Catholic and keeps trying to tell me I'm just going through a phase.  Or that he has a new Priest at the church and I should give it a try again.  Usually I just tell him No Thank you.  Once when he was getting persistent I snapped and told him that I don't try to convince him to stop being a Catholic to match my beliefs so I'd appreciate it if he stopped trying to make me into a Catholic.  He's backed off for the most part.

I'd be GLAD to come to your front door and discuss it!! 

[Pants]

Jul 21, 2014 14:28:21 GMT -5 violagirl said:

Jul 21, 2014 12:56:10 GMT -5 Pants said:

Right. You believe. By evangelizing to me, you are inherently disrespecting my beliefs.

bsbound I see your point. You do not want to discuss religion with someone you don't know. However, I'm not sure how you would expect someone like me to know you feel so strongly? I have the spirit but I'm not clairvoyent. I would think it would be more disrespectful to make the decision for you and leave you out. 

It might be a regional thing, but where I live, even when people don't want to talk about religion, they generally will have a brief friendly conversation about other things. Which is a neighbourly thing to do. If I meet someone who is elderly, I have shovelled their steps while I was there and I would do it whether they listened or not, just because it is the right thing to do. I have also offered to go to the store for someone who was sick. 

At the end it just comes down to belief. I believe showing up at someone's door without invitation for pretty much any reason is rude, but especially trying to convert them to a religion. You believe showing up without invitation is an opportunity to share your message. We are never, ever going to agree on this - and that's fine. But you should know that your actions are as actively offensive to some people as theirs are to you.

[Green Eyed Lady]

I'm wondering, for all those who are so offended to the point they feel it's ok to be rude, if they ever had a child who was a Girl Scout, or a Boy Scout, or a teenager who had to sell pizzas for a class project?  Did you ever have a kid who was required to sell magazines to fund prom?  If so, I'm wondering how you would have felt if someone had been nasty to your kid because they DARED come on to their private property without an invitation?  Because some of these missionaries are just teenagers with real-life feelings.  Unfortunately, God doesn't shield us from nasty people.

If it's just religion you object to, I can absolutely see that.  But don't pretend it is some invasion on your personal space or your very busy day, or some huge show of disrespect.  Just say so.  Heck, I'd agree with you.  I don't like it either but it's no excuse to be nasty.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Jul 21, 2014 14:28:21 GMT -5 violagirl said:

Jul 21, 2014 12:56:10 GMT -5 Pants said:

Right. You believe. By evangelizing to me, you are inherently disrespecting my beliefs.

bsbound I see your point. You do not want to discuss religion with someone you don't know. However, I'm not sure how you would expect someone like me to know you feel so strongly? I have the spirit but I'm not clairvoyent. I would think it would be more disrespectful to make the decision for you and leave you out. 

It might be a regional thing, but where I live, even when people don't want to talk about religion, they generally will have a brief friendly conversation about other things. Which is a neighbourly thing to do. If I meet someone who is elderly, I have shovelled their steps while I was there and I would do it whether they listened or not, just because it is the right thing to do. I have also offered to go to the store for someone who was sick. 

Violagirl.....how would you feel if someone knocked on your door and tried to introduce you to the joys if Islam?

FWIW, shoveling steps and going to the store is something neighborly to do.  I did it all the time for my elderly neighbor, and I probably side more as an atheist than anything else.  You're right, it is the right thing to do.  But IMO, your helping them obligates them to listen to your spiel.

[sheilaincali]

Jul 21, 2014 14:51:50 GMT -5 Green Eyed Lady said:

I'm wondering, for all those who are so offended to the point they feel it's ok to be rude, if they ever had a child who was a Girl Scout, or a Boy Scout, or a teenager who had to sell pizzas for a class project?  Did you ever have a kid who was required to sell magazines to fund prom?  If so, I'm wondering how you would have felt if someone had been nasty to your kid because they DARED come on to their private property without an invitation?  Because some of these missionaries are just teenagers with real-life feelings.  Unfortunately, God doesn't shield us from nasty people.

If it's just religion you object to, I can absolutely see that.  But don't pretend it is some invasion on your personal space or your very busy day, or some huge show of disrespect.  Just say so.  Heck, I'd agree with you.  I don't like it either but it's no excuse to be nasty.

  I treat the Religious people that come to my door with the same level of respect that I give the girl scout selling her delicious, delicious cookies, the Boy Scout selling his popcorn, the HS students selling coupon books for band, softball, football, etc.  The College students that come by as part of a scavenger hunt or collecting food for the food shelf. 

When I'm on a diet I tell the Girl Scout 'No Thank you, but good luck with your cookie sales!" I tell the religious people "no thank you, but good luck in your efforts"

[zibazinski]

I was never allowed to sell/ bother people at their homes when I was young and neither were my children. I bought their crap like my parents bought my crap Girl Scout cookies are sold outside stores and Boy Scout popcorn is sold at the mall. I know where to buy these items if I want them as do most people. Most neighborhoods have no soliticiing signs now anyway. Religion pushers feel their exempt from these signs. Being asked to leave by a policeman has made it clear to them they aren't exempt. But they still try

[Malarky]

I don't consider it rude to not answer my door if I am not so inclined.

This is my home and access is by invitation only.  

When I am accosted by people peddling their religion in other places-the grocery store parking lot comes to mind-I'm generally polite and still end up being talked at and followed to my car.  I'm not willing to subject myself to that in my own home.

I don't buy anything where I don't initiate the interaction.  That includes a new roof, siding, religion or a driveway.  I'm not buying magazines to put your kid through college.  As you can see, I have answered the door in the past and know what to expect.

All the local charities and sports teams that I do donate to, know where my side door is.

[Plain Old Petunia]

Jul 21, 2014 14:51:50 GMT -5 Green Eyed Lady said:

I'm wondering, for all those who are so offended to the point they feel it's ok to be rude, if they ever had a child who was a Girl Scout, or a Boy Scout, or a teenager who had to sell pizzas for a class project?  Did you ever have a kid who was required to sell magazines to fund prom?  If so, I'm wondering how you would have felt if someone had been nasty to your kid because they DARED come on to their private property without an invitation?  Because some of these missionaries are just teenagers with real-life feelings.  Unfortunately, God doesn't shield us from nasty people.

If it's just religion you object to, I can absolutely see that.  But don't pretend it is some invasion on your personal space or your very busy day, or some huge show of disrespect.  Just say so.  Heck, I'd agree with you.  I don't like it either but it's no excuse to be nasty.

My children never participated in fundraisers.  I disagree strongly with the entire premise.  It is the responsibility of parents to pay their children's way; it is not the responsibility of neighbors, co-workers, etc.   I came to this point of view when we homeschooled.  As a homeschooler, it never once occurred to me that we should fundraise for supplies, field trips, etc.   An acquaintance pointed out that it is no different than what schools and other organizations do.  I thought about that and realized she was right,  there is no difference.  Her feeling was that it made it OK for homeschoolers to fundraise, my feeling was that it made it not OK for anyone to fundraise.    Why is it the responsibility of others to contribute money towards my child's class project?  My neighbors pay their property taxes to provide a public education for my children, isn't that enough?    

And from a safety point of view, there is no way I would allow my minor child to sell door to door.   There is no way their deputy sheriff father would have allowed it either. 

[Plain Old Petunia]

Jul 21, 2014 14:28:21 GMT -5 violagirl said:

Jul 21, 2014 12:56:10 GMT -5 Pants said:

Right. You believe. By evangelizing to me, you are inherently disrespecting my beliefs.

bsbound I see your point. You do not want to discuss religion with someone you don't know. However, I'm not sure how you would expect someone like me to know you feel so strongly? I have the spirit but I'm not clairvoyent. I would think it would be more disrespectful to make the decision for you and leave you out. 

It might be a regional thing, but where I live, even when people don't want to talk about religion, they generally will have a brief friendly conversation about other things. Which is a neighbourly thing to do. If I meet someone who is elderly, I have shovelled their steps while I was there and I would do it whether they listened or not, just because it is the right thing to do. I have also offered to go to the store for someone who was sick. 

Here's the thing, though: if I am interested in your religion, I will contact you. It is no big trick to look in the phone book, or use Google.    I am perfectly capable of using the phone and saying "Hi, I'd like to know more about your belief system, can we please set something up?"   Or finding your place of worship and showing up at the next meeting.

I don't do those things because I choose not to do them.

[greenstone]

For me, the person who knocks on someone's door with an agenda whether it's to sell something, sign a petition, spread the message of God's love or whatnot is the one being rude. I don't want strangers coming to my house uninvited, period.  This is not the 19th C. or the 20th C. where door-to-door was one of the only ways to reach people, it's the 21st C. and there are plenty of other ways to sell your product or get your message across.  If I do answer the door I am not rude or nasty, I just say "I'm not interested", though as I said earlier if you feel the need to interrupt me when you can see I'm busy, I will be short with you.  I never offer an explanation or excuse why I'm not interested, it just leaves an opening for further attempts to convince me.

I feel that my right to privacy trumps other's desire to infringe on my privacy.  If people like strangers on their doorstep, good,  than that should be something they should opt-in to, put out a "Strangers Welcome" sign, I shouldn't have to opt-out with a 'No Soliciting' sign to preserve my privacy.

[Green Eyed Lady]

Sorry...I call bs on the whole "nobodyevercametomydoorinmywholelifesellingsomethingotherthanthosereligionpusher".  I'd buy that if you lived on Mars.  Otherwise...uh uh.  Nope.  Don't buy it. 

ETA:  I misread the post.  It said "my children have never...", not that nobody had ever come to their door.  My bad.

[wyouser]

Well, a batch of red white and blue bunting and a prominent display of the flag along with a display of 97 German Austrian and Swiss coats of arms has served well to deflect one group over the last 35 years. They don't knock on the door any more. I will carry on a conversation with the guys in the white shirts and black pants with the conversation usually shifting to questions about the coats of arms.   So..Hey, I'm cool.

[lexxy703]

I'm polite to the religious folks if they catch me outside but I don't answer my door if I'm not expecting company.

My ex actually converted to Mormon because on a knock on his door at just the right time.  He later quit but he stayed about 10 years.

[jkapp]

I just tell them the same thing I tell the kids who show up selling cookies, candy bars, etc:  No thanks!

They usually just say, "ok" but want to leave me one of their pamplets.  I take it and throw it in the trash...I figure that's where most of them end up

[Tennesseer]

Jul 21, 2014 11:20:59 GMT -5 Blonde Granny said:

<OT> No one here is probably old enough to remember an episode of the Golden Girls....the gal played by Betty White bought a door bell that when it rang was a barking dog.

Back to your original topic.

Psshhh.  The Golden Girls show seems like yesterday. I remember Betty White when she was a celebrity guest on Password in 1961, emceed by her (they-are-not-yet-dating)-future-husband-to-be, Allen Ludden.

[Firebird]

We do not come to your door because we enjoy annoying you. It is generally for two reasons. We have found something that gives us hope for the future and has been really good in our lives, obviously something that good has to be shared. We also believe we are accountable to God for failure to share this news if we do not. Now we know not everyone will want to be a JW. That is totally up to them, but it is not our place to judge who will or who won't.

Just curious, violagirl... maybe you can help me understand this.  If it's not your place to judge who will or won't want to be a JW, why is it your responsibility to spread the word?

As Plain Old Petunia says, people will get in touch with you if they're interested in learning more about your religion.  Why is it incumbent upon you to reach out to them?

For the record, if someone finds evangelizing door to door to be a fun way to spend an afternoon, then more power to them.  But I vehemently, violently, all day long disagree with the idea of pushing kids to do this out of some misguided sense of duty or planting the idea that they're responsible for people going to hell if they don't feel comfortable evangelizing.  To me, it's incredibly cruel to put that kid of pressure on a young kid who doesn't know any better. 

[Peace Of Mind]

Jul 21, 2014 14:14:03 GMT -5 Plain Old Petunia said:

Jul 21, 2014 13:51:37 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Yeah, that flabbergasts me too.  I just would never consider not answering the door.

We rarely get any religion pushers though.  In 14 years, I can honestly only recall once or twice and it's been a number of years.  I took their pamphlets and thanked them, but for the most part made it known that I didn't want to sit and discuss anything.  I promptly tossed what they gave me after they left. 

My ex-husband had a strict no-answering-the-door-for-people-you-do-not-know-very-well policy.   He is a deputy sheriff, and insisted lots of violent crimes begin with someone opening the front door.

Sad but true around here too.  If I'm already outside I will be polite but decline.  When they try to hand me literature I'll just be honest and tell them I'm going to throw it away and they might as well save their money.  But after people went around kicking in doors and robbing people and a sweet little dog got beaten so bad it had to be put down I now just talk through my leaded glass door and say no thank you and walk away from the door.  We also have security cameras so if I'm talking to you guys I can see who is at the door from my computer and either ignore or go sign for something if a package is being delivered.  I love this system because we still get many solicitors even thought the HOA has signs at both entrances that it's not allowed.  But I'm always polite because people are crazy and I don't want them to kill me and I think being rude escalates the chances if they happen to be nutso.