March Madness Controlled/No Spend Thread

[dianartemis]

ses: After Rome defeated Greece and incorporated it into the Roman Empire, it became quite cachet to have Greek tutors. Romans were warriors, Greeks were scholars and philosophers (huge generalization). At least, that's what I was taught.

[spruby]

shan - sorry about your pup - you are doing the right thing by him

dakota - hope min-d, you & your DH get through this all OK - reading your description of how the doc said to give the eye drops traumatized me!

renee - make sure you see BOTH spaces and think through where things will go - you might find the studio better suited than the 2 bedroom because the 2 bedroom layout may be to cut up. One good piece of advice I'll pass on - don't pick the higher cost thing because of a tax deduction - you never really know if you'll get it and why burden yourself with the extra cost

ses - we watched gas go up 13 over night - unfortunately we fill up once a week

[mizbear]

dakota- I know it sounds terrible and backhanded, but my mom used to always have some sort of treat or reward for us when it came to difficult to deal with or nasty tasting medications (granted, being born in 1976, that could have liquid kiddy tylenol), it helped get us through it though- something to get the taste out of our mouths or get us to sit still for topical treatments.
Of course stuffed friends are always a plus.

[Deleted]

Mar 2, 2011 19:23:35 GMT -5 shanendoah said:

SES: right, just backwards. Diana was what the Romans renamed the Greek goddess Athena. The Greek religion came first. There were a few changes, or at least some myths that even if the Roman's appropriated them, did not stick. Orion was the one man Artemis ever loved. He was killed when he tried to hunt the Scorpion without her help. She hung him in the stars, but the other gods placed the Scorpion right behind him, as a reminder to humans about hubris (he thought he didn't need the gods' help). As far as I know, this is an Artermis only myth, not a Diana one.

Diana was the Roman moon goddess, not the goddess of wisdom. Athena was the Greek Goddess of wisdom, Artemis was the moon Goddess for the Greeks. Artemis was the virgin moon goddess, Diana was the mother. And Hecate was the dark moon goddess, the Romans however focused on her mother aspect.

[muttleynfelix]

dakato - I hope mini-D feels better.

Shanen - Sorry about your puppy.

renee - I would try to be as open minded as possible before seeing in person the apartment you want to rent, but it does sounds like they both are good options.

I am feeling very down today as I start my "weekend". A project that we worked ahead on last fall was denied the grant that was going to be used to pay for it because the county is no longer in compliance with the National Flood Insurance Program and therefor inelgible for flood mitigation grants. We probably won't get paid for most of the work we did on that project. My one project I was working on I have turned into my boss and I have nothing else on my desk to do. The current plan is if nothing changes with we get back from my BFF's wedding at the end of the month with no end in sight, DH is going to look for a job. We can go 10 months without getting the 2 days of unemployment benefits on our savings easily. So, I shouldn't be scared, but I am. I don't want to bail on my company and I doubt there is a job in town, but maybe I should look for a new job and see what is out there.

[ses]

Yes, you are absolutely correct. I should proofread better.

[ses]

I have been examining my budget (great challenge Shanen) which is SOOO easy now that I am using Excel. Thank you guys for getting me started. It was a somewhat depressing job. Most of America got a 2% reduction in SS taxes, but I got a 2% tax increase on my fixed income. So definitely time for adjustments. My budget has four major categories, 1) savings account, 2) "escrow" account --to cover annual irregular expenses like taxes, insurance and medical expenses 3) regular bills and groceries and 4) CC payments and flexible spending.

They break down like this
----------- 2010----- 2011
Savings--- 19.6%---- 17.9%
Escrow---- 17.8%---- 27.3%
Bills------- 31.3%---- 32%
Flexible---- 31.3%---- 22.8%

I realize in truly dire circumstances the flexible spending could be almost totally be taken out of the budget. And it may have to be if inflation continues as expected. I will not give up Savings until the very end.
Since I am a nerd, I learned I need $30/day for housing and $3.75/day for groceries and about $1.00/day for transportation. About $35.00/day. Kind of depressing. Nothing there for clothing, nothing there for medical and nothing there for fun. No really depressing when I consider i am doing so much better than much of America.

[dividend]

2/10 NS Another day without spending a dime. Although DBF did buy me a beer after we dropped my car off at the Honda dealership (for a safety recall fix, so no cost to me). He wanted to go have one, I was ambivalent, so he offered to buy.

I've been terribly lax about cooking at home. For like 3 weeks in February, I cooked dinner at home only once a week. Bad, bad, bad. This week I'm really trying. Tonight was the fourth night in a row we've eaten at home - lamb steaks marinated in cinnamon and oregano, roasted chickpea and butternut squash with tahini dressing. Yum. I was cooking tonight after work, and for the first time in a long time found myself enjoying it. I defrosted some chicken boobs for tomorrow's dinner, too, so I have hope of actually hitting my <9 EO target.

[reeneejune]

apartment options - The two bedroom is one I've looked at several times in the past, so I'm pretty aware of what the layout is. The second bedroom is the only room upstairs, a loft area, and has this HUGE closet area for storage. The complex is laid out in tri- and four-plexes, so there's not a ton of neighbor noise (and I won't have anyone above or below me). But you ladies are right, I am thinking of it more as a fallback option rather than where I really want to live. I'm still waiting for the landlord to call me back with a time to see the studio, but as long as it's decent sized I'll probably go for it. Dividing space is easy... wall o bookshelves anyone? ;D

miz bear - Thankfully downsizing is the last of my worries. I've been living with Grandma for just over a year, haven't had my own place in 3 years. Everything I had left furnishing and storage wise was in my Aunt's house when it burned to the ground last July. Until about a week ago I could fit everything that I owned into the trunk of my car. With lots of space leftover.

I've found some tremendous buys at thrift shops to help me re-supply for this adventure. I got a beautiful set of dishes that coordinate with my living/dining/kitchen color scheme at St. Vinnie's. 26 pieces of nice china for... wait for it... $12.50!!!! I practically ran back to the front of the store after a shopping cart to claim that treasure before someone else with my color scheme snagged it. LOL. I also got two lamps and shades for about $10, I just need to cover the shades with prettier fabric.

[singlemomky]

SES - we had gas jumped 25 cents yesterday! I fill up about once every 8-9 days depending on what we have going on.

[dakota4600]

Yesterday was not a good day. The vet basically said, I can run every test and send you to a different vet to have him scope his GI tract, but there is very little that could be wrong that is treatable or not horribly expensive to treat. He said he would go as aggressive as I wanted to go. In the end we decided on a kidney function test because if that is the problem there are some replacement enzymes that might help him. I don't want to put him through a GI tract scope, just to find out that he is dying, which I already know. We switched him to a Science diet food ($25 for 8.5 lbs ) to hopefully help with throwing up and stuff.

After dinner DH (trying to be proactive) asks what we are going to tell mini-D when it happens. I lost it, I couldn't stop crying. DH felt so bad for making me cry. I finally pulled it together and we couldn't come up with anything good to tell him. I lean towards moderate honesty, that Dakota went to heaven. DH is concerned that mini-D will expect Dakota to be at church then. DH would prefer the Dakota went to live somewhere else approach. Needless to say we still have more talking to do.

The first round of eye drops weren't too bad. DH picked up a bag of snack sized Nestle crunch bars (Mini-D's fav) for after the drops. The second and third rounds were awful. He started crying and struggling as soon as he saw the bottle. It takes both of us to get the drops in his eyes. (Again single parents you have my utmost respect.) His eyes do look much better this AM. So I'm pretty sure he'll go back to school tomorrow.

Then mini-D didn't sleep well at all last night. He was up at least 4 times. Twice inconsolably crying, I'm actually not sure he was really awake then. But this AM he was pretty chipper. I gave him the choice of staying home with me or going to Grandpa's and he chose grandpa.

SES- I've noticed gas prices rising here too.

Reenee- great find on the china and lamps. Hope you get in to see the studio soon.

[singlemomky]

Dakota - no advice for dealing w/the Mini D (Dakota) situation; just hugs!
Hopefully Mini D will realize that the eye drops make his eyes feel better and today will be easier in that respect! Lil' Smokey will ask for his allergy eye drops but still give a little squirm/fight when I go to put them in. Thankfully at 6 1/2 I can remind him that he wanted them so that his eyes will feel better.

[shanendoah]

Update: 1 of 12 NSD, 0 of 10 MOAN
Today will be a spend. I need to swing by the store on the way home for more hot dogs. We've decided that since long term health isn't exactly a concern now, our goal is to give Smokey high calorie food to help keep his energy up as long as possible. Since he has decided he's not eating any dog food at all, we're going with hot dogs mostly. We're also going to give him some chicken and ground turkey, maybe some brown rice.

gin: You are right, I should totally watch my typing. I did mean that Diana was the Roman version of Artemis, not Athena. Fingers working independently of my thoughts, there.

dakota: *hugs* I hope very much that you are able to find something to help Dakota. I completely understand the breaking down. I do agree with you as to what to tell mini-D. I think its easier to explain that church isn't heaven than to try and say that Dakota went to live somewhere else, but no, we can't go visit him. When I was not much older than mini-D, we actually did go send our horse to live somewhere else, and DBro and I insisted we go visit her pretty regularly.

renee: What a great deal on your dishes. Yay for St Vincent!

muttley: I don't think it would hurt to look. Looking doesn't mean you're leaving, it just means you're exploring your options.

dividend: So the thing we did to help with the cooking at home is to always cook at least enough food for 2 nights' dinner at a time. That way, we're only cooking every other day (roughly). In addition, we have "easy nights" (generally nights when I'm cooking). These are nights that we're eating staples - pasta and sauce, rice and cream of mushroom (with or without chicken) - and can be ready with minimal cooking time. (We have a rice cooker, so that makes things much easier.)

bourbon chicken recipe: allrecipes.com/Recipe/Bourbon-Chicken/Detail.aspx This is the recipe we started with. I'm married to someone who actually likes to cook, so its not exactly what we use now, but naturally, he doesn't have the changes written down anywhere. I know we use less bourbon, we use 1-2 tbs of orange juice concentrate, and a little bit of water.
When we first made it, we did the basting, but what we found we like better is 45 minutes to an hour into the cooking time, we pull it out and cut up all the chicken in to small pieces so that it absorbs the sauce, then finish cooking. Besides making every bit of chicken taste better, it goes further and serves very nicely over rice.

[mizbear]

renee- great find! I was fortunate in that I had a lot of my stuff from school and 3 ex-husbands.
dakota- There are several pamphlets available on helping children deal with the loss of pets/ loved ones- one of them is by the late Fred Rogers (Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood) and was quite helpful when my grandfather died of lung cancer almost 3 years ago. Your vet should have them available, if not, try online or from a local funeral home. The best way I can think to explain this to miniD is that Dakota is going to be an angel now so he can watch out miniD, and you and the rest of the family wherever you are. When our paternal grandparents collie died when we were little, my mom told us that Jesus needed a special dog to train other doggy angels because it is a special job. Granted, my younger brother's response was- "Well couldn't Jesus have taken somebody else's collie?" But, I don't know if that might help...
muttley- I agree with shan- nothing wrong with looking.
dividend- When I can, I cook a week's worth of meat at a time- but it's just me. Even when I lived at home and cooked for 4-6 people, I did all the meats up on Saturday when I got home from the store if at all possible. My grandfather spent all day out there in the kitchen taste testing and my grandmother spent all day trying to chase him out.
Today was a spend, but I have done pretty well, I bought snacks while at the doctor- Clif bar, apple juice and a wawa coffee (I'm out of creamer ). DM paid for my lunch for running some errands for her when I got back (EO w/o tapping my EO budget- I love it!) I still have to go pick up my non-food stuff, but I am pulling my qs first.

[ses]

Shanen--that is almost exactly my recipe! However, I sometimes use boneless skinless chicken thighs, cut into bite-sized pieces then I toss them and the sauce/marinade into a plastic zip bag and marinate in the fridge overnight before cooking.

Wonder if I could package in smaller meal size bags and freeze individual servings before cooking? I'll have to try that sometime.

[Honeylioness]

Okay ... behind again but I am getting rather used to being the caboose.

February Numbers

26 NEO
21 CS Days

I am hoping my CS or "in budget" days increase for March ... we need to crack down on the grocery bill in particular.


Paulette - Welcome to the group.

munjoyhill - Congratulations on the weight loss ... I wish I could post that sort of success.

reeneejune - For what it is worth I get from your posts that you are leaning towards the studio apartment. I know for myself - I would rather figure out a way to make different areas in an studio than live without at least one fur baby. It's not JUST about money I have found as I get older ... but also quality of life.

startsmart - Hope you are still enjoying your techno-lite vacation time.

shanendoah - I am so sorry to hear about Smokey's illness, what a good mom you are to let him choose his time and just keep him comfortable.

I must confess though that when I saw a mention as I was first scanning of "...Smokey ... tumor ... put to sleep ..." I was horrified. For a moment I thought you all were talking about SinglemomKY (aka Smokey)!!!

dakota - Oh no, sorry to hear you also are facing this difficult time with your dog. IMHO I would tell mini-D that the puppy was very old and not well so he went home to be with God. Personally I think you run the risk of causing mistrust with a child when you tell them things like "the dog went to live on a farm" etc... I think it makes the child wonder if you will someday send them away as well if they get to be too much trouble. And then there is the matter of WHY can't they visit? I usually opt for the simplest version of the truth the child can handle.

And good luck with the eye drops.

ses - YEAH!! I have missed you. Great work on the food stamp challenge. We are trying to be a LOT more mindful of our shopping trips also - making a list and sticking to it. Though I did veer off the list last week. There was a four pound semi-boneless leg of lamb with a price on it of ~ $40 ... but also an in-store manager's special coupon for $10 off as it reached it's pull date. So for ~$30 I have my Easter lamb triple wrapped and in the freezer. I thought it was a pretty good deal considering how expensive lamb usually is.

muttley - I can empathize with the "feeling scared" ... considering changing jobs is nerve wracking for most people. I would not look at it like "bailing" on your boss .. but perhaps look for something to supplement your current situation? Even if it is not in your specific field. That way you can feel a bit more in control, have something to keep you busy, and if/when things pick back up you can let go of the axillary job and focus again 100% with your current employer.


Work - Well the fun continues, we are getting audited next week by the FDA. As you can imagine things here this week have been LESS than calm. I know I will like the OT hours when I get my check ... but I have been tired and cranky and letting the girls fend for themselves this week in the dinner department.

Hosting - So, I have completed my application etc for next year. I had mentioned to my rep that one of my hesitations with doing this again has to do with the revised regulations. They now state that without a "special waiver' non-traditional households have to take two students to prevent "...social isolation and/or possible abuse..." Geesh, what kind of side show freaks have they been getting as host parents in the past that they need to address this??? I even had to submit pictures of various rooms in my home to my Homeland Security background check ... including the bathroom. Seems you now have to prove you HAVE a working bathroom .. *RME*

However I have signed up to be an organizational "volunteer" which will let me apply for some financial compensation each month towards food.

Condo Board - The "fun" continues. After what I thought was a rather benign meeting at my home last Sunday I got a shot over my prow with a document "she" sent for review ... I replied and got a really nasty e-mail in response. *sigh* Actually, if anyone would be willing to read it for me and give me your honest feedback I would appreciate it ... as I am not sure if I am just being overly sensitive or if it really is as bad as I think it is.

Taxes - I mailed my return on February 5th. I couldn't e-file because of the supporting paperwork for the truck donation :-(

Now I just have to wait, impatiently, for my $$$$$$$$$

[startsmart]

So I'm going to start this rant with the fact that I am so damn thankful for blue eyes. Seriously. He's one of the only influences keeping me sane right now.

Because work? Makes me want to scream and cry and pout and kick something innocent. Like a tree.

I'm in NYC and anticipating spending the next 2 days sequestered with work. With 6 wonderful kids I havent seen in ages who want to share my time and cuddle and play games and show me their Lego creations.

Our call Tues to sort out my role, what I need to NOT be doing was so encouraging. I felt supported and ready and hopeful that I won't be working these ridiculous hours that blue is telling me over and over again are unhealthy. Then during our call with the client today I felt even more frustrated, overwhelmed and tired. Unheard. Discouraged. Angry.

These things purposefully happen when I'm in public and can't create a scene without being arrested. I'm sure of it. Conspiracy.

And all of it makes me so TIRED. I want to sleep for a month and wake up in spring. Instead I'll be up late the next few nights until things get to a new stage of "done" and then hopefully I can enjoy a few days in NYC (which I spent a good amount of money to visit) without being overstressed, focused on work and defensive.

And, in 30 min after work drinks with red_ wagon and red2black! There's another bright spot in this crazy, wild day.

[mizbear]

Honey- Hosting- A girl who I knew in high school who was an exchange student now investigates abuse/neglect cases of exchange students. She says they are rare at the high school level usually, but at the college level they increase exponentially- particularly with young ladies of certain ethnicities. Apparently, unfortunately, it's not just an urban myth.
Condo board- Are the other members aware of what she is sending you? I suspect that she may be freelancing to a point. And I know I don't have to tell you this- keep copies of everything she sends you.
start- HUGS!!!! Have a drink for me too.

[spruby]

honey - good luck with the hosting application and getting the position that will supplement the food budget. I can see if you were a new host they might want 2 the first year - but you are an experienced one! Also, I'm happy to read the email/document from your Board member if you like - I remember one of the people on our HOA Board had no idea how they came across in email. I had to explain - I don't work for you - I volunteer with so that our community will be well maintained.

start - listen to blue eyes - maybe discuss with him for what criteria you should use to be dropping clients so you can pick up new ones

I hope everyone's puppy is doing the best they can be. Hugs to you and them in this tough time.

I left work a bit early today - I hit the limit if my tolerance for stupid people and used some comp time up.

[startsmart]

Thanks ladies, I managed to have a drink for three of you! And now I can't walk in a straight line so yay for trains and friends who eill pick me up! Love reds

[ses]

Honey you have a message

[muttleynfelix]

So, I looked around the internet last night (not the best way to find a job in my field) and there wasn't anything in town. I expected that. Most firms are downsizing. I looked a couple of them online and people that use to work there are no longer working at them. The field is so small in our town and I have worked with people who have worked at basically every other firm in town and I really don't want to work for anyone but my boss. So, DH is on board with getting a job in a month and we'll just batten down the hatches. Who knows, maybe when I go back to work full time we'll see about Ben going to daycare part time. I'm starting to wonder if he doesn't need some interaction with kids his age and daycare is relatively inexpensive around here.

So, I stayed busy today. My friend is going to alter my bridesmaid dress for me. So, Ben and I went to visit her and her husband. Then we came home and while he napped I went for a little run/walk/jog, made banana bread, finished DS's pajama pants (one pair, I have another to finish and I want to make him a third pair), and cooked supper. I now have to do dishes and then hopefully I will be able to finish sewing the other pair of pajama pants for DS.

Dakota - Hugs.

My mind went blank and the dishes aren't going to get done on their own. So back to work. Have a great night all.

[MittenKitten]

BTW Welcome back Dividend and welcome Paulette!

Rant feel free to skip!

Took DS#1 to karate today. He is SUPPOSED to graduate on Sat to brown belt, this is a BIG deal. Anyways he needs one more black stripe. I have been communicating with the school for MONTHS about how he is doing, is he on track etc etc. Now a kid who is not as prepared as DS#1 and was not planning on graduating until Sept has ALL of his stripes (and according to their rules was ineligible for the last one) and they couldn't be bothered to give him his last stripe tonight! Seriously people we have people coming on Sat, I have a baby sitter for DS#2, I have asked you many times if he is on track ...NOW DO YOUR F#@%( JOB and get him ready!

End rant I, start of rant II

Did taxes today was very pleasantly surprised, which is odd, how can one be pleasantly surprised doing taxes!

And the wallet is bleeding dry, all for DS#1, karate graduation $75, baseball $75, karate tournament $65-$85 after we get 2 events and 2 people in to see him. I also want to send him to day camp but am hoping to get a scholarship for that one. If we do a family camp with DS#2 with someone to help with him $1400, although some of this will be covered by his grant. Need new blinds because of DS#2 and can get the grant to only pay for his room so the rest will be coming out of our pockets....

Breathe, just breathe.... we are getting a tax refund over all it will be okay..... Alright going for a glass of vino now.....

[mizbear]

Hope everyone's puppies are resting as comfortably as possible.
mitten- You could sew his stripes on the sensai??

HUGS to everyone. I am about to be buried in my calendar and to do lists...

[moneysquirrel]

Update: 2NS Days 1CS Day

Planned to get a lot of projects checked tonight. Fell asleep and took a much needed nap. Papers will get done tomorrow or this weekend. Too tired to correct things tonight and don't want to make a mistake. My planning period tomorrow will be a definite correcting paper period instead. Should be able to get a lot done if I stay on task. It will be a crazy day anyway since it is the last day before a week off. Mardi Gras break -- definitely need the sleep and time off to take care of several house things and a week where I can sleep later than 5:15 am.

Gas prices-- Filled up today (CS) for $3.38 gal. I have noticed the creep up on a daily basis since I pass several stations on my daily commute. This morning the price was 3 cents lower. With rain predicted for tomorrow I decided to stop today and pump in dry weather instead. Good things is that due to the break I hope to have several non-driving days next week. I do have at least 1-2 days with longer drives planned but some of that depends on my mood, the weather and what I can get done before I can play.

[dividend]

3/10 NS, unless you count my automatic deduction for my Roth.

Had a fight with DBF and was severely tempted to ditch the dinner I had planned to cook. Came home and cooked anyway, and it made me feel better, at least temporarily. I may have to start financially preparing for a break-up, and moving to my own apartment. DBF's depression has been really heavy lately - he's been angry and acting erratically (today he got mad and parked the car in traffic with me in the passenger seat, got out, and started walking the 4 miles home), and he's blaming me instead of trying deal with it. I love the man, but I'm not sure our relationship can survive this.

Anyway, tomorrow will be CS. Cigarettes (not quitting in the near future given the emotional stressors), a birthday present for my brother's adorable GF, and probably beers out with them. So, that'll be a bright spot in the week.

It's good to be keeping a tally, and paying attention to spending. I've been following these threads and keeping up with you guys.

[WholeLottaNothin]

Dividend - hugs to you. I don't have any advice but just think this through, and decide what is best for you. Your mental health is just as important.

Update - 2 NSD, 2 CSD

[dakota4600]

Finally got a no spend yesterday!

Mini-D is much better and went back to school. When I dropped him off this AM he asked if Miss Caroline was there. She teaches one of the 1-2 year old rooms and she gets breakfast ready for everyone. He likes to go to the kitchen door and say hi to her in the AM. She told me this morning that it is really sweet that he always asks where she is as soon as he walks in the door. Somehow he missed that his teacher had a dog with her this AM. She put the crate outside the classroom next to some shelves so it wasn't really obvious.

I feel bad for one mom, we drop off our kids at about the same time most mornings and her son just cries from the time he gets out of the car until after she is gone. He is in the little kids room, but I'd definitely put him closer to 2 than 1. This morning you could tell she is just worn out over the crying. She was muttering, really do you have to do this every morning as she walked in the door.

Dividend- Hugs! I hope you figure out what is best for you in regards to DBF. Are you still taking classes?

Muttley- Good luck to your DH finding a new job. While daycare may not be your first choice, having interaction with other kids is good. He'll learn all kinds of new things from other kids (some good, some bad).

[shanendoah]

I spent, and I did not exercise. I actually think I'm going to stop tracking MOANs for this month. If I want to spend every minute I can cuddled up next to my Smokey dog, I'm going to, and I'm not going to feel even the tiniest amount of guilt about it, so there's no real point in tracking something I don't care if I do or not this month.

dividend: There are a couple of us here who deal with DH's who suffer from depression. In my case, we are very lucky that its mild enough to be managed through lifestyle decisions. However, DH also knows that if I see him spiraling, I will insist on him seeing a professional.
I think its probably a good idea for you to mentally prepare yourself for a break up, but since you say you do love DBF, can you talk to him about getting help? I know that's not always easy - my DH has an inherited mistrust of mental health professionals, so it was a subject that I had to broach multiple times, in tiny little ways, and always in an up cycle, etc, before we could even get to the same chapter on the subject, let alone the same page.
If your DBF's company has an Employee Assistance Program, they can generally refer to someone.
I am also going to suggest that you consider counseling, regardless of what you decide about staying with DBF or not. The emotional issues of those we love can actually take a huge toll on us, and it never hurts to have at least one conversation with a professional.

[sheilaincali]

Update: 1/20 NSD, 2/25 NEO

Tuesday I stopped to buy Advil for my ankles and an ice pack. Wednesday we went out to dinner with some friends and Thursday was finally a NS day Today should be a no spend as well. Helping my BFF and her family move into the house they are closing on right this minute. Super excited for them. Miss Pants will be in the same grade at the same school as my nephew so she will know at least one other kid. Bonus for me-- I get to see all 3 kids at one Christmas program. Last year I went to 3 (and loved them all) but this year I can go to one and see niece and nephew and my honorary niece Miss Pants all in one shot.

Dividend: DH is bi polar and prior to that diagnosis we struggled with his depression. Earlier this week he started sinking again and was able to level it off some. It's ok to be frustrated at times. I hope your DBF can get some help. Some of the things that help keep DH level is having a pretty stable routine. Same basic bed times and wake up times. Working out on a regular basis helps too. He keeps his diet pretty consistent. No caffeine except for one cup of coffee a day. No chocolates or sweets to cause a false sugar high, etc.
A lot of us here understand where you are coming from so feel free to vent all you need to.