I dream of the day someone from my family

[Deleted]

Would call/contact me just to say "hi"... and not because they want something from me.

I got a Facebook message from "a" cousin (we are not that close) 2 days ago and exchange a few hi/how are you doing. Left it at that, today he contact me again and ask if I could call him.

So after exchanging the weird how are you doing, pretending we really wanted to know how we've each been doing the past couple of years, and me waiting and thinking : what the hell do you want? He finally asked...

Seems my mom told her siblings that her son got promoted to store manager and he found out and wanted to know if I could find him a job, he is trying to get out of NJ.

Oh why am I not surprised...

[kjto1]

Well, it seems to be a step in the right direction.  Usually they ask for money since you got a promotion- not a job.  (Give a man a fish, he will eat for a day.  Teach a man to fish, he will eat for a lifetime.)

[kjto1]

Unless he wants to live with you...
Or he does a craptastic job and everyone knows he is your cousin...

[zibazinski]

Lets say he isn't as asshole and just wants to get the hell away from the train wrecks and sees that Carl has done so. Carl's family is like crabs, if one of them tries to escape the wreck, the rest try like hell to pull them back in. I know the type. They gladly take his money but then bad mouth him behind his back. If he doesn't fork over hundreds of dollars for this wedding plus a gift, a very nice one, the shit will hit the fan.

[Opti]

That's not a horrible problem to have.

So are you going to try to help him? What's the closest

Price Chopper to where he is?

[Deleted]

Is it so difficult to get a minimum wage job at a local grocery store that you have to ask favors from relatives?

Methinks that he thinks the "big boss" can get him something better than stocking or beginning cashier.

[Jaguar]

This is my older three siblings too, I'll get a call at some ungodly hour wanting something.

[flamingo]

I once helped a friend get a job where I worked. It was the worst experience ever. She treated it like a joke, was always late, never took anything seriously. Started dating one of the guys who worked there, and he was a bad influence on her. I was 16 and it was my first job. I learned my lesson early. Now, when people ask me to help them get a job, I give them the email address for HR to send in their resumes. 

In my experience, those asking me for help in getting a job at my place of employment are ones that aren't being hired on their own for a reason. A former coworker asked me for help once (I had moved on to a new job). She was constantly in trouble for surfing the web instead of working, filing her nails at the reception desk, etc. I don't want my good name/reputation attached to that. 

[Deleted]

Do you know if he has a good work ethic? Tell him to message you when he puts in his application and you'll put in a good word for him. In these situations I always want them to take the first step, if they do that (simple as it seems) then at least I know they mean they really want it.

The get out of NJ might be a little unnerving. NO room for house guests! Unless he wants to take over your VT apartment when you get promoted 

[973beachbum]

Jun 29, 2014 15:36:26 GMT -5 @southernsusana said:

Is it so difficult to get a minimum wage job at a local grocery store that you have to ask favors from relatives?

Methinks that he thinks the "big boss" can get him something better than stocking or beginning cashier.

It isn't that hard to get a PT job paying min wage at a grocery store here but getting hired FT with benefits is a whole different thing.  The GS I got the pt summer job seems to have five people who are full time.  It was a real eye opener to realize how many people in supervisory roles were really PT hourly employees working maybe 25 hours a week.

[toomuchreality]

Jun 29, 2014 22:44:05 GMT -5 973beachbum said:

Jun 29, 2014 15:36:26 GMT -5 @southernsusana said:

Is it so difficult to get a minimum wage job at a local grocery store that you have to ask favors from relatives?

Methinks that he thinks the "big boss" can get him something better than stocking or beginning cashier.

It isn't that hard to get a PT job paying min wage at a grocery store here but getting hired FT with benefits is a whole different thing.  The GS I got the pt summer job seems to have five people who are full time.  It was a real eye opener to realize how many people in supervisory roles were really PT hourly employees working maybe 25 hours a week.

It can be cheaper to pay 2 part time employees (no benefits), than it is to pay 1 full time employee (with benefits). Esp. if the part time are new employees and the full time employee has been there a while, so has moved up.

Good to know you can move up, even if you are part time!



TheHaitian

If you help this cousin, will that obligate you to help another one (or more)?
If you help this cousin, will you have to continue to 'help' him?

The idea of being associated with someone, that turns out to be a slacker, gives me shivers.

[Deleted]

The issue :
- he is my cousin yes but I really don't know the guy. We say hi at family gatherings and that is it; never hang out, never really talked to each other.
- I would gladly try if it someone I knew, I knew their work ethic.

He wants to use me to bypass the normal order of things and get into a good full time paying job. That is ok, nepotism is alive and well with my company/industry and plenty of managers (and above) have done it.

But do I really want the first time that I use my name/weight to get someone in it is someone I cannot really vouch for and it turn into a disaster that will always be associated with me?

Or he can turn into a great worker. .. Who knows!

[Deleted]

Also this guy email me his resume and it is not even his. It is my other cousin resume, he just change the name on top and address but:
- did not bother changing the title the file is saved under (my other cousin)
- the education/work history (my other cousin).

I know because I am close to that other cousin.

So he half assed his resume and did not even bother with the online application yet.

[Deleted]

Jun 30, 2014 8:52:18 GMT -5 TheHaitian said:

Also this guy email me his resume and it is not even his. It is my other cousin resume, he just change the name on top and address but:
- did not bother changing the title the file is saved under (my other cousin)
- the education/work history (my other cousin).

I know because I am close to that other cousin.

So he half assed his resume and did not even bother with the online application yet.

based on these facts, I would tell him to apply through the company website and you'll mention to the hiring manager but he would have to start at the bottom.  you may also want to suggest to him that he make sure his resume if factual as they will check past jobs, etc.

[Opti]

Jun 30, 2014 8:52:18 GMT -5 TheHaitian said:

Also this guy email me his resume and it is not even his. It is my other cousin resume, he just change the name on top and address but:
- did not bother changing the title the file is saved under (my other cousin)
- the education/work history (my other cousin).

I know because I am close to that other cousin.

So he half assed his resume and did not even bother with the online application yet.

I'd let him know you noticed that and that you aren't comfortable recommending

someone who doesn't do their own resume and you don't know well personally.

Yes, you want your first recommendation to be someone  you know enough that

it doesn't hurt your reputation. If someone asks, you can simply say you don't

know him that well and leave it at that.

[midjd]

With that many red flags, I wouldn't even encourage him to apply. You don't want him dropping your name. (Do you share a last name?)

[Angel!]

Jun 30, 2014 8:52:18 GMT -5 TheHaitian said:

Also this guy email me his resume and it is not even his. It is my other cousin resume, he just change the name on top and address but:
- did not bother changing the title the file is saved under (my other cousin)
- the education/work history (my other cousin).

I know because I am close to that other cousin.

So he half assed his resume and did not even bother with the online application yet.

  Well that is a bad sign.

BTW - missed that you had gotten promoted.  Congrats!!

[sesfw]

this guy email me his resume and it is not even his.

This is a red flag .... big time.  Next email tell him that resumes are the first introduction of a person to a company and it had better be honest.  Things like that get checked.

A dishonest resume is not a good beginning.

[973beachbum]

Jun 30, 2014 8:50:37 GMT -5 TheHaitian said:

The issue :
- he is my cousin yes but I really don't know the guy. We say hi at family gatherings and that is it; never hang out, never really talked to each other.
- I would gladly try if it someone I knew, I knew their work ethic.

He wants to use me to bypass the normal order of things and get into a good full time paying job. That is ok, nepotism is alive and well with my company/industry and plenty of managers (and above) have done it.

But do I really want the first time that I use my name/weight to get someone in it is someone I cannot really vouch for and it turn into a disaster that will always be associated with me?

Or he can turn into a great worker. .. Who knows!

He doesn't just want a job at the store he wants a FT one with benies.  That makes more sense.

I probably wouldn't do it either.  I would only do it for someone I cared about.  This just has all the downsides and none of the upside for you.  He really could want to turn his life around and just doesn't know how to do things like write the resume ect.  Maybe you could tell the hiring person honestly you two are related but you really don't know him that well.  Then let HR decide if they want to take the chance on him.  At least if they say no you could totally blame HR.

[swamp]

Jun 30, 2014 8:52:18 GMT -5 TheHaitian said:

Also this guy email me his resume and it is not even his. It is my other cousin resume, he just change the name on top and address but:
- did not bother changing the title the file is saved under (my other cousin)
- the education/work history (my other cousin).

I know because I am close to that other cousin.

So he half assed his resume and did not even bother with the online application yet.

I would reply to his email and tell him that once he submits his real resume, not his cousin's, you might consider helping him.

[greeniis10]

Uh, yeah, the resume sloppiness ruins the whole thing.  Until then I was leaning towards you encouraging him to apply, but being blunt about not promising any special treatment.

At this point, I would still be very blunt and tell him the reason you are doing so well and the reason you are where you are is because you take your work ethic seriously and cannot recommend anyone below certain standards, relative or not.  He may be offended at the "standards" thing, so maybe use a different word.  Or let him be offended and give him a "welcome to the real world" lesson.

[973beachbum]

I know the whole only calling until he wanted something is beyond annoying but maybe all he needs is a mentor.

Does he have anyone in his immediate family that can help him get into a good working job?  If they answer is no maybe helping him "get way" from the life he was drifting towards isn't a bad idea.  I wouldn't promise him anything but maybe he needs someone to show him the right way to do his resume and talk about applying for jobs.  And maybe even encouragement getting away from family who encourage him to not go out and better himself.

I don't know your family and only you can make the decision of if he is worth the time and energy of mentoring.  I think if I had had any thoughts of mentoring someone I didn't know then I would try and help my cousin by doing it for them first.  But I don't have family that would come out of the woodwork.  Would they do that if all you gave him was helpful advice and mentoring to help him get a good job?

[Sum Dum Gai]

Jun 30, 2014 12:18:08 GMT -5 973beachbum said:

I know the whole only calling until he wanted something is beyond annoying but maybe all he needs is a mentor.

Mentor/slap upside the head
Potato/potahto I guess.

[resolution]

I would absolutely not get a job for someone that half assed a fake resume. I didn't get my mom a job per se, but two good friends of mine interviewed her and hired her for a position with my employer. She worked there for 8 years in a different facility across town.

It was amazing how many people would approach me and tell me that they knew my mom, or had some sort of contact with her. Even now that she has been retired for 10 years people still mention her to me or ask me to say hi.

Be careful with whom you are associated, because it can be a lot further reaching and longer lasting than you expect.

[Works4me]

Jun 30, 2014 8:52:18 GMT -5 TheHaitian said:

Also this guy email me his resume and it is not even his. It is my other cousin resume, he just change the name on top and address but:
- did not bother changing the title the file is saved under (my other cousin)
- the education/work history (my other cousin).

I know because I am close to that other cousin.

So he half assed his resume and did not even bother with the online application yet.

Just lost my support - recommend him and your get blamed for a bad hire because from any/every point of view that is what he will turn out to be. You have to CYA first plus even in a business only situation it is doubtful that he would be an asset to the business.

I also agree with Optimist and Swamp - let him know that the resume issue makes it impossible for you to recommend him. Maybe encourage him to let you know if/when he created his own resume.

But then again, when it comes to work I have always been a bit of a hard-ass - I will give almost anyone one chance and even then I tell the truth to HR, hiring managers and anyone that asks.

[Deleted]

Call the other cousin and ask him if he knows dink cousin is using his resume to get jobs. I think that will take care of it. If he can't take the effort to make an accurate and honest resume he is not ready to get your recommendation. 

[toomuchreality]

Jun 30, 2014 8:50:37 GMT -5 TheHaitian said:

The issue :
- he is my cousin yes but I really don't know the guy. We say hi at family gatherings and that is it; never hang out, never really talked to each other.
- I would gladly try if it someone I knew, I knew their work ethic.

He wants to use me to bypass the normal order of things and get into a good full time paying job. That is ok, nepotism is alive and well with my company/industry and plenty of managers (and above) have done it.

But do I really want the first time that I use my name/weight to get someone in it is someone I cannot really vouch for and it turn into a disaster that will always be associated with me?

Or he can turn into a great worker. .. Who knows!

In some ways, 'helping' a person "bypass the normal order of things", isn't very helpful.

Even though he'll hate it (hopefully not you -gulp!), he will probably 'learn' more, from getting caught faking his resume.

Helping someone in the way he's asking, can cause so many issues. I'm sure you know this better than I do. What happens if you do help him, his work ethic sucks, and to add insult to injury, he bitches to everyone about you? (You didn't do this. You didn't do that. You told someone this, or that. Etc.) This could happen both at work and personal /family life. Ugh.

Depending on his age, he should already have some sort of work history, that would speak for itself. If he doesn't, why not?

I know there are people that mess up, then turn their lives around. It's possible. But seriously, how probable is it?

I guess you don't hear stories about all the wonderful things he is accomplishing, when you go to family events. Huh? (hard to believe  )

You're so lucky, to 'get' to deal with this!  I guess that's why you get the big bucks!
(Congrats on your promotion!)!

[zibazinski]

Maybe he doesn't even know how to do a resume. We don't know enough back story other than the history of Carl's family. Maybe they all aren't tacky low life sponges. We only hear about the ones that are because those are the funny and ghastly stories.

[Bonny]

Jul 1, 2014 10:39:05 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

Maybe he doesn't even know how to do a resume.

This occurred to me as well. Can you see the scenario? Cousin A (the one who asks Carl) says to cousin B "I want to apply for a job at Cousin Carl's place. What I do?" Cousin B says "You need to submit a resume, here's mine, you can copy it" meaning copy the format. Cousin A then copies the resume, changes the name and gives it to Carl.

LOL, it could just be a really bad communication problem.

[Rocky Mtn Saver]

Jul 1, 2014 15:29:53 GMT -5 Bonny said:

Jul 1, 2014 10:39:05 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

Maybe he doesn't even know how to do a resume.

This occurred to me as well. Can you see the scenario? Cousin A (the one who asks Carl) says to cousin B "I want to apply for a job at Cousin Carl's place. What I do?" Cousin B says "You need to submit a resume, here's mine, you can copy it" meaning copy the format. Cousin A then copies the resume, changes the name and gives it to Carl.

LOL, it could just be a really bad communication problem.

Well, in his defense, you did say he had to submit A resume, but you didn't specify that it had to be HIS resume!