Why is being old offensive?

[Phoenix84]

In general, I've noticed that acknowleding someone is old, or older, discussing age in general seems to be a taboo subject.  Admittidly, some of it is tounge in cheek, but I've seen many people get geniunely offended at the idea of age and aging.

The question is, why?  People coin phrases like "50 years young" and "60's are the new 40's" and things like that.  And one can't aknowledge the age of others without risking being offensive.

IS it because we're a culture fixated on youth?

I would think living a long life should be celebrated and should be endearing.

[michelyn8]

Because the older we get the more we know and the grumpier some of us become. 

Actually - I'll be 46 in a few days and getting older has never really bothered me except when I turned 29 and realized I was just a year from 30..............the horror..........LOL  I'm serious about the knowing more though.  There are days I look around me and see how people are and really miss the days when I wasn't exposed to so much information that has shown me how cruel the world seemingly has become over the past 10 years and it really affects me.  I'm trying to unplug a bit more, watch more upbeat programming, read more upbeat books - just find a better balance to all the bad I hear about everyday.

ETA: Maybe its not so much offended as a dislike at being reminded that some things dreamed for in our youth are unlikely to be accomplished or simply have become impossible.

[kittensaver]

I sooooooooo agree with michelyn8. Our culture worships youth . . . or at least our cultural media and especially our media marketing machine worships youth, and the sheeple follow meekly along.

[NancysSummerSip]

Our culture worships youth

Yes, it does. And I have a medicine cabinet full of anti-aging face creams to prove it.

[sheilaincali]

I don't know the answer to that. I know that I am NOT looking forward to turning 39 in a few months, but I thought it was HILARIOUS when DH turned 40. I've threatened divorce if he throws me a surprise bday party like I did for him. (yes I realize that it's not fair).

Honestly DS' ages were harder on me than mine were. Him turning 10 was worse than me turning 33. Him turning 13 was WAY worse than when I turned 36 and him turning 16 was the worst so far.

But I'm kind of looking forward to being in my 40's but it's a double edged sword.  41 is the age I'll be when I get my life back. DS will be off to college and DH and I will be firmly on Chapter 2 of our life story. We have grand plans to sell everything, rent a tiny apartment and spend our free time traveling. At the same time I want life to slow down because I'm going to miss the kid like crazy when he goes off to college.

I know that DH is terrified to turn 42 in February. His dad died at 42 and 2 years later his only uncle died at 42. DH thinks that age is cursed. He does plan on getting a tattoo to conquer it after his birthday. Since we love Douglas Adams he wants to get a 42 with "Life The Universe and Everything" circling around it.

[Peace Of Mind]

Because getting "old" today is not what it used to be.  We are much younger looking at 40, 50, 60, etc. than in the old days.  People my age now (54) used to look like little chubby, short (bones settling/shrinking due to poor health), gray/white curly haired old ladies.  Today we are hot and do way more than sit in rocking chairs knitting!  

That's my story and I'm sticking to it. 

[Blonde Granny]

I'll be 70 in December. How would have ever thought and just when did this happen? I can't possibly have a baby boy who is now 43 or a grandson who will turn 16 soon. But living in denial doesn't change a thing.

I stumbled across a site on FB called "fifty not frumpy" There is no reason women my age need to wear polyester prints, no make up and have their hair permed on a monthly basis. Some do, but not me. We can dress stylishly, wearing clothes that are appropriate for our new body style, upper arms (gasp) and thighs....well, lets skip the talk of thighs. Older women still wear bikinis....oh lord, someone put on robe on those wrinkled old bodies. I dress my age, don't look frumpy and refuse to attempt to look young by dressing like my 14 y/o granddaughter.

As for turning 70.....I'm a 20 year breast cancer survivor and only have 1 boob. I'm wonderful!!! I'm happy!!! We've been retired for almost 20 years, we have enough money to do what we want when we want . We have a 2014 Mercedes SUV and a 2003 Mercedes SL convertible. Yeehaw!!! life is good...no life is great!!!

Instead of dreading birthdays and aging, I'm reminded of what someone wrote in a birthday letter to me when I turned the 35: Faith is knowing that, whatever else, life is good, and there will be many wonderful surprises.  Keep your eyes peeled for wonder surprises...................Thank God you're only 35.

[mollyanna58]

Jun 24, 2014 14:44:52 GMT -5 Peace Of Mind said:

Because getting "old" today is not what it used to be.  We are much younger looking at 40, 50, 60, etc. than in the old days.  People my age now (54) used to look like little chubby, short (bones settling/shrinking due to poor health), gray/white curly haired old ladies.  Today we are hot and do way more than sit in rocking chairs knitting!  

That's my story and I'm sticking to it. 

That's not far off.  Watch an old movie and see what 50 year old people looked like in the 1940s.

[kittensaver]

Jun 24, 2014 15:01:59 GMT -5 mollyanna58 said:

Jun 24, 2014 14:44:52 GMT -5 Peace Of Mind said:

Because getting "old" today is not what it used to be.  We are much younger looking at 40, 50, 60, etc. than in the old days.  People my age now (54) used to look like little chubby, short (bones settling/shrinking due to poor health), gray/white curly haired old ladies.  Today we are hot and do way more than sit in rocking chairs knitting!  

That's my story and I'm sticking to it. 

That's not far off.  Watch an old movie and see what 50 year old people looked like in the 1940s.

Heck - you don't even need to go that far back! Go re-watch The Graduate (1967). Anne Bancroft was 36, Dustin Hoffman was 30. And yet, she was cast as a woman old enough to be his mother.

[wyouser]

With age there comes a certain amount of slowing down. It is unavoidable and inevitable. A good offense calls for some agility and speed which is more difficult to produce and maintain with age. Older folks ,therefore, tend to slide more and more into a defensive mode as they age.  So, why is being old offensive.....??  The statement is worded incorrectly. We old folks are defensive cause we can no longer move fast enough  to be offensive. Just ask our grandchildren    Now that all this has been cleared up (Clear as mud right?) doesn't everyone feel better?  

[Phoenix84]

Jun 24, 2014 14:44:52 GMT -5 Peace Of Mind said:

Because getting "old" today is not what it used to be.  We are much younger looking at 40, 50, 60, etc. than in the old days.  People my age now (54) used to look like little chubby, short (bones settling/shrinking due to poor health), gray/white curly haired old ladies.  Today we are hot and do way more than sit in rocking chairs knitting!  

That's my story and I'm sticking to it. 

Hmmm, didn't realize you were 54, I alaways imagined you were younger.

[Phoenix84]

Jun 24, 2014 14:58:13 GMT -5 Blonde Granny said:

I'll be 70 in December. How would have ever thought and just when did this happen? I can't possibly have a baby boy who is now 43 or a grandson who will turn 16 soon. But living in denial doesn't change a thing.

I stumbled across a site on FB called "fifty not frumpy" There is no reason women my age need to wear polyester prints, no make up and have their hair permed on a monthly basis. Some do, but not me. We can dress stylishly, wearing clothes that are appropriate for our new body style, upper arms (gasp) and thighs....well, lets skip the talk of thighs. Older women still wear bikinis....oh lord, someone put on robe on those wrinkled old bodies. I dress my age, don't look frumpy and refuse to attempt to look young by dressing like my 14 y/o granddaughter.

As for turning 70.....I'm a 20 year breast cancer survivor and only have 1 boob. I'm wonderful!!! I'm happy!!! We've been retired for almost 20 years, we have enough money to do what we want when we want . We have a 2014 Mercedes SUV and a 2003 Mercedes SL convertible. Yeehaw!!! life is good...no life is great!!!

Instead of dreading birthdays and aging, I'm reminded of what someone wrote in a birthday letter to me when I turned the 35: Faith is knowing that, whatever else, life is good, and there will be many wonderful surprises.  Keep your eyes peeled for wonder surprises...................Thank God you're only 35.

Interesting.

I always wondered why it seemed like most women 65 and older have perms.

But yeah, I was kind of asking the question also, why do people dread aging?  I can't recall of hand which, but I have seen studies that in general, older adults are happier than younger adults.

[Blonde Granny]

I think people dread aging because of what it represents: How can someone (who will remain nameless) have been so cool for so long, suddenly discover the world has passed them by.  We woke up one day...and there is was, grey hair, and people ignoring you. Nobody is interested in what a 50+ and older person watches on TV.  Don't have Netflix? oh the shame.  Demographics? we're done, finished, "they" only want money from the 18-48 year olds or is it 18-34, either way, we're useless. 

People honk the horn at us, we're driving to slow and in the left lane, where else would we be? we're going to turn left in 20 miles.

No one wants to feel over the hill, but society is telling us we are.  For women, you must be 18 years old, dress and act like you were a sexy 25 and be a size 0.  No stress with all that.

We were cool, we were popular, we didn't take Advil on a daily basis, and we didn't have our doctors on speed dial.  Men need viagara, and women need whatever it is that's telling us sex after 50 takes this special gel.

Good grief, this is depressing........

[Ryan]

I think it's human nature to not want to get older.  Most people feel better and looked better when they were in their 20's or 30's.  Any reference to getting older means they are getting further away from that.

But I don't know if older people can play the victim here.  I think they pick on younger people far more than younger people pick on them.  Anyone that doesn't fall in line is said to have the "entitlement mentality".

[Tennesseer]

Because some young people are dismissive of older peoples' opinions, advice and needs.

[Shooby]

Exactly.

[Shooby]

Part of getting older is having opinions about what works and doesn't work as well. So, if you aren't Hip Hip HOORAY about every new inane idea at work (even if you know it will cost the company MONEY), then you are just an old, out of touch curmudgeon!

[Shooby]

It seems that nowadays there is a definite segregation of peer groups. People seem very dismissive of anyone who isn't with about 8 to 10 yrs of their own age. And, as time marches on, I think the gap gets worse.

[Spellbound454]

I got told (by a man) that women age a lot worse than men.

To which I replied.......Women have got more to lose, most men weren't that good looking to start with....

[Sam_2.0]

Jun 24, 2014 14:44:52 GMT -5 Peace Of Mind said:

Because getting "old" today is not what it used to be.  We are much younger looking at 40, 50, 60, etc. than in the old days.  People my age now (54) used to look like little chubby, short (bones settling/shrinking due to poor health), gray/white curly haired old ladies.  Today we are hot and do way more than sit in rocking chairs knitting!  

That's my story and I'm sticking to it. 

Hey, I am 30 and like to sit in my rocking chair crocheting

[Peace Of Mind]

Heck - you don't even need to go that far back! Go re-watch The Graduate (1967). Anne Bancroft was 36, Dustin Hoffman was 30. And yet, she was cast as a woman old enough to be his mother.

I was so shocked to read how young she was in that movie.  She looked much older to me.

Hmmm, didn't realize you were 54, I always imagined you were younger.

That's what everybody says in RL too.  But that's probably because I'm so immature. 

Hey, I am 30 and like to sit in my rocking chair crocheting

LOL!  But you do a lot more than that. 

[Tennesseer]

By the way, there is nothing offensive in being older. Everyone will hopefully get the opportunity to experience it.

A better question to ask would be 'Why do some young people find older people offensive'.

[Miss Tequila]

Jun 24, 2014 14:44:00 GMT -5 sheilaincali said:

I don't know the answer to that. I know that I am NOT looking forward to turning 39 in a few months, but I thought it was HILARIOUS when DH turned 40. I've threatened divorce if he throws me a surprise bday party like I did for him. (yes I realize that it's not fair).

Honestly DS' ages were harder on me than mine were. Him turning 10 was worse than me turning 33. Him turning 13 was WAY worse than when I turned 36 and him turning 16 was the worst so far.

But I'm kind of looking forward to being in my 40's but it's a double edged sword.  41 is the age I'll be when I get my life back. DS will be off to college and DH and I will be firmly on Chapter 2 of our life story. We have grand plans to sell everything, rent a tiny apartment and spend our free time traveling. At the same time I want life to slow down because I'm going to miss the kid like crazy when he goes off to college.

I know that DH is terrified to turn 42 in February. His dad died at 42 and 2 years later his only uncle died at 42. DH thinks that age is cursed. He does plan on getting a tattoo to conquer it after his birthday. Since we love Douglas Adams he wants to get a 42 with "Life The Universe and Everything" circling around it.

Omg...my husbands dad died at 42 so my husband spent the entire year waiting to drop dead! I was so happy when he turned 43!lol.

[Miss Tequila]

Jun 24, 2014 16:07:49 GMT -5 Phoenix84 said:

Jun 24, 2014 14:58:13 GMT -5 Blonde Granny said:

I'll be 70 in December. How would have ever thought and just when did this happen? I can't possibly have a baby boy who is now 43 or a grandson who will turn 16 soon. But living in denial doesn't change a thing.

I stumbled across a site on FB called "fifty not frumpy" There is no reason women my age need to wear polyester prints, no make up and have their hair permed on a monthly basis. Some do, but not me. We can dress stylishly, wearing clothes that are appropriate for our new body style, upper arms (gasp) and thighs....well, lets skip the talk of thighs. Older women still wear bikinis....oh lord, someone put on robe on those wrinkled old bodies. I dress my age, don't look frumpy and refuse to attempt to look young by dressing like my 14 y/o granddaughter.

As for turning 70.....I'm a 20 year breast cancer survivor and only have 1 boob. I'm wonderful!!! I'm happy!!! We've been retired for almost 20 years, we have enough money to do what we want when we want . We have a 2014 Mercedes SUV and a 2003 Mercedes SL convertible. Yeehaw!!! life is good...no life is great!!!

Instead of dreading birthdays and aging, I'm reminded of what someone wrote in a birthday letter to me when I turned the 35: Faith is knowing that, whatever else, life is good, and there will be many wonderful surprises.  Keep your eyes peeled for wonder surprises...................Thank God you're only 35.

Interesting.

I always wondered why it seemed like most women 65 and older have perms.

But yeah, I was kind of asking the question also, why do people dread aging?  I can't recall of hand which, but I have seen studies that in general, older adults are happier than younger adults.

I don't mind being 42. I have so much more money than I did at 32. But aging comes with a price. I have to work harder to stay in shape, no amount of face cream will give me the baby smooth skin that I had at 30 (I'm not wrinkly but my pores are larger), I have to die my hair religiously....and lets not get started on 40 year old female hormones....

But overall I am quite happy with who I am and what behave accomplished.

[Deleted]

why do people dread aging?

Because you are getting closer to death. The rest of it is BS. I don't like feeling that my time is getting shorter and I've probably used up at least half of it already.

[Ryan]

Jun 24, 2014 16:31:14 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

Because some young people are dismissive of older peoples' opinions, advice and needs.

Have you ever thought that younger people dislike people offering opinions they didn't ask for as much as older people do?

I'm 36, so hardly a spring chicken, but most advice i hear from older people is a variation of 'play it safe'. But even if it's good advice, it's usually delivered in the 'you are young and therefore know nothing. Let me tell you how it works....' Tone.

[Tennesseer]

Jun 24, 2014 18:03:10 GMT -5 Ryan said:

Jun 24, 2014 16:31:14 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

Because some young people are dismissive of older peoples' opinions, advice and needs.

Have you ever thought that younger people dislike people offering opinions they didn't ask for as much as older people do?

I'm 36, so hardly a spring chicken, but most advice i hear from older people is a variation of 'play it safe'. But even if it's good advice, it's usually delivered in the 'you are young and therefore know nothing. Let me tell you how it works....' Tone.

Feel free to tell older folks their advice is unwanted.  Older folks will not break.  Life has toughened them up.

Just keep in mind that everything happening now has pretty much happened before.

[sesfw]

I know that DH is terrified to turn 42 in February. His dad died at 42 and 2 years later his only uncle died at 42.

Suggest to your DH that he goes in for a check-up and tell the Dr about his dad and uncle.  Nephew in law at age 48 just had a heart attack and the Dr asked if he had any brothers.  He is one of 4 and he was told to let the others know for a check-up.  His heart condition is genetic.

My DH#1 died of unexpected heart attack at age 59 ........ also genetic.  Terrible time of my life.

I know neither of my g-dtrs want any suggestions from me.  They are 31 and 26, and making decisions typical of their age group.  Both are college grads but neither have any common sense.  And I know this is my age talking.

When I was that age ......... blah, blah, blah. ....... LOL

[Deleted]

I didn't even know I was offending anyone by being old.

Sorry.

Old doesn't offend me but I do remember being a little afraid of the really old people when we visited relatives at what my parents called the old folks home. 

[zibazinski]

It's only offensive when you talk about your many surgeries in great detail along with showing your scars. Also, we don't need to hear whether or not you took a shit today.