Happy friggin BDay

[tloonya]

My whole life I am living in a fear of forgetting my Mom's BDay...though we do not dwell on BDays and don't really care.
I am just afraid to miss to say Happy Bday to her and it is not about gifts because all she gets is flowers.

I do have friends even overseas who are celebrating my BDay even we are apart, I am not even calling them to wish Happy Birthday.
I call when I feel I have time and I am missing them. Not nesseserily on BDays.

Some think you must say Happy Bday to your family and friends and get offended if you are not. Some relashionships are ruined by forgetting a BDay.

What is your take on this and how do you feel about your friends who does call vs forgetful? Do you think those who are calling are better?

[tractor]

I could care less about birthdays, and even less about sending/getting cards. However, my mother considers it a personal attack if she doesn't get a card from you on her birthday. She sends out cards and puts the date in them. I'm convinced that she will divide her estate based on how many cards you have saved. Most of the time cards from her are out of the envelope for less than a minute before I pitch them in the trash.

[Wisconsin Beth]

My MIL likes to make a big deal out of b-days.  My family, not so much.  Mom sends a card and check to all adults and teenagers.  Mine still gets gifts from her. 

[tloonya]

But do you feel that your friends who remember your BDays are better friends than those who don't?

We once couldn't attend huge 75th party of my gd mother. She says sadly '75 is only happening once' and I felt bad for a sec and then was like...whaaaat? 76 is also happening once in a lifetime, so 10th and 33...

[Deleted]

Jun 13, 2014 10:53:15 GMT -5 tloonya said:

But do you feel that your friends who remember your BDays are better friends than those who don't?

I'm on Facebook. People I haven't seen for years (or really care one lick about), "remember" my birthday. 

[tloonya]

Jun 13, 2014 9:44:37 GMT -5 tractor said:

I could care less about birthdays, and even less about sending/getting cards. However, my mother considers it a personal attack if she doesn't get a card from you on her birthday. She sends out cards and puts the date in them. I'm convinced that she will divide her estate based on how many cards you have saved. Most of the time cards from her are out of the envelope for less than a minute before I pitch them in the trash.

Doo you think it could be because we have so much entertainment nowadays and all they had back then were family gatherings?

[dannylion]

I like birthdays. Sometimes there's cake.

[wyouser]

Jun 13, 2014 9:59:53 GMT -5 deminmaine said:

I could care less about B-Days either.

However  I do use my Mom's as an excuse to get together and give her something.  We won't have her for too many more years.

I remember DW's because I am not stupid.

Everyone else's? Who gives a @#*&%?

Your grandkids will never forgive you if you forget theirs

[Sam_2.0]

I could care less about my birthday, especially after last year. Aubree was born the day before my birthday which has pretty much just ruined it for me (not that I really cared too much before though). I am terrible about remembering birthdays for others too. Poor DH, his birthday was this last week and we did nothing. I actually went to bed early and left him to hang out by himself for the evening. We do try to have fun for DD's birthday.

My mom is a BIG birthday fan and makes a huge deal out of it. With 4 kids and 3 more married in + 10 grandkids there's always a birthday luncheon going on. It's exhausting.

[greeniis10]

I don't care about birthdays (other than my kids) and I don't care if anyone remembers mine, either. 

DH and his family make BIG deals about birthdays, but I let him handle his family.  He knew before we got married that I wasn't going to automatically conform to every tradition they have. 

I think if anyone ever got mad at me for either forgetting their birthday or not acknowledging it "enough" to satisfy them I'd swiftly write them off and ignore. 

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

We usually go out to dinner for mine and DH's. We usually get money in a card from someone and/or a small gift. I get a card and a small gift for my parents/brother.

I'm bad at forgetting my grandparents birthdays and yes I've gotten a phone call for forgetting.

DH's parents don't do anything for their birthday but DH calls. Him and his siblings call each other to wish "happy birthday".

We make a "deal" out of Gwen's birthday. We don't have lavish expensive parties or anything but we try to do something for her. The routine has become for us, the grandparents and great grandparents to have a small party at my great uncle's pizza parlor. She loves it and it costs us practically nothing.

I don't care if friends remember my birthday.  Facebook however seems to care and blasts it all over so I do get several "happy birthdays" on my wall.

[tractor]

Jun 13, 2014 11:10:31 GMT -5 tloonya said:

Jun 13, 2014 9:44:37 GMT -5 tractor said:

I could care less about birthdays, and even less about sending/getting cards. However, my mother considers it a personal attack if she doesn't get a card from you on her birthday. She sends out cards and puts the date in them. I'm convinced that she will divide her estate based on how many cards you have saved. Most of the time cards from her are out of the envelope for less than a minute before I pitch them in the trash.

Doo you think it could be because we have so much entertainment nowadays and all they had back then were family gatherings?

Possibly, we never really had family gatherings, and her family wasn't really that close. I'm not sure where she gets it from, although she's convinced that our family is a lot closer that we really are.

[tractor]

I really don't understand big parties for little kids either. We never did things like that for our kids. My wife's family insists on throwing a big party every time their kids have a birthday. The parties got so out of hand, they were borrowing money from my inlaws just to afford them. Most of the junk ends up in the trash. We stopped going years ago, and I won't go to another one. Her family gets upset sometimes, but nothing like pissing away money on some kid who can barely walk, let alone understand what's going on.

What irks me the most is they don't have money for food or rent, but insist their kids party like a rock star at every turn. We don't buy gifts, and told them we don't expect anything from them either.

[tloonya]

Jun 13, 2014 13:12:13 GMT -5 tractor said:

I really don't understand big parties for little kids either. We never did things like that for our kids. My wife's family insists on throwing a big party every time their kids have a birthday. The parties got so out of hand, they were borrowing money from my inlaws just to afford them. Most of the junk ends up in the trash. We stopped going years ago, and I won't go to another one. Her family gets upset sometimes, but nothing like pissing away money on some kid who can barely walk, let alone understand what's going on.

What irks me the most is they don't have money for food or rent, but insist their kids party like a rock star at every turn. We don't buy gifts, and told them we don't expect anything from them either.

I am sure this thread will get about 11 pages long....from HERE!
Its all times favorite subject for YMers!

[steff]

We do dinner out with the entire family for bdays.  Like this week was my sis in law's bday.  so my mom, my brother, sis in law, my youngest brother, me, my kiddo, my hubby, my aunt, my not my uncle-uncle & my gramma all went out to dinner together. 

For my gramma's bdays, all her daughters come to visit that week.  We call it bat shit crazy week because all the bat shit crazy sisters are in town. 

for my bday & my brothers bdays, the 3 of us tend to do something just the 3 of us too.  This year for my bday we have tickets to see Motley Crue.  We did a zombie run for my youngest brothers bday this year.  They ran, I cheered them on.  LOL  We usually check out a new haunted house/ghost tour for my other brother whose bday is in October. 

[tloonya]

Jun 13, 2014 14:17:53 GMT -5 deminmaine said:

I went to a birthday party for a one year old once.

Once.

hAVE YOU EMBARRASED YOURSELF AND NO ONE EVER INVITED YOU ANYMORE?

[backontrack]

I am a little over zealous about remembering people's birthdays because I screwed up one time.

One of my best friends of many, many years invited me and my brand new boyfriend (now husband) over one weekend for a cookout. It was memorial day weekend, so it made sense. DH and I had just become a couple a couple of weeks earlier after months of "hanging out" as friends. So my attention is fully on him. It isn't until days later that I realize that it was my friend's birthday and that was her party! I doubt she expected a gift, but we had been friends for almost 15 years and I didn't even realize it was her birthday! I don't know that that was the cause, but we started drifting apart after that.

As long as one person remembers my birthday, I am good. And after the story above, I try to make sure I remember as many birthdays as possible.