Sad, is it too late?

[tractor]

When I was a consultant, I had many clients. One I liked really well, he was an older guy full of life who always had a joke to tell. He was also very wealthy, and have a huge house, a stable full of classic cars, and more money than he could ever spend. He had no children and I would go over there often to hang out, drink Bourbon and tell stories.

I left the consulting field about two years ago, and only spoke to him a couple of times after. My life got busy and It didn't feel right to go impose on his personal time. (Poor excuse). Anyway, I was thinking about him today and decided to Google him. He died last July, leaving only his girl friend of 43 years and no other family. Is it too late to call or send a card? It doesn't feel right after almost a year, what would I say? He made millions of dollars a year, and I don't want her to think I'm after any money (in not), just mad at myself for not knowing sooner.

[whoisjohngalt]

I don't think it's ever too late to say "I am sorry" and "thank you".

In your case, it would be "I am sorry to hear of his passing".    Nothing wrong with sending a card saying that

[Sam_2.0]

It's never too late to send a note. Lots of them come in right after, but it's nice to know that people still remember a loved one awhile after they've passed.

[kent]

I agree - it's never too late so go for it.

[Deleted]

I think it's ok to send a card with condolences and the fact that you just found out, maybe tell a nice story, I'd bet she's past the initial greif and ready to reflect on good memories. 

[Deleted]

Jun 4, 2014 11:42:54 GMT -5 oped said:

I think it's ok to send a card with condolences and the fact that you just found out, maybe tell a nice story, I'd bet she's past the initial grief and ready to reflect on good memories. 

I agree- from what I've heard of people who lost loved ones, the happy stories are always welcome.  There's no way it would be seen as money-motivated unless you claim to be a long-lost relative or a creditor!

(When DH's stepfather died, someone actually did come up and express his condolences and attempt to collect a debt he claimed the stepfather owed him.  DH sent him packing- his stepfather was adamantly opposed to debt, got angry when a bank sent him a credit card, and was proud of owing no one.)

[greeniis10]

Not too late - definitely send something.  I'm sure the GF will appreciate it!  Also, she's probably pretty good at identifying those with an ulterior motive by now.

Sorry to hear of the loss, however.

[tractor]

Thanks everyone, I will put together a letter this week. He was one of those rare people who would make you laugh one moment, then share a heartwarming story the next. I was there when he found out his only brother had died. It's one of those days I will never forget, we went from having drinks on the deck, to watching him break down in tears telling me all about the great things his brother had done. He often joked about leaving me his money, I told him to give it to charity, which would only make him mad, but I didn't want something I didn't earn.

He's the one I think of when things aren't going quite right, I remember him and smile. I guess I'm still a little in shock, and am feeling guilty I waited this long to follow up with him, only to learn he has passed.

At least now I have a reason to have a glass of Bourbon in his honor tonight.

[swamp]

That happened to me when I was about 24. A very good friend from my freshman year in college had passed away suddenly the year before.    He transferred to a college out west and we didn't keep in touch after a year or so. I sent his parents a card with some happy memories with their son. His dad sent me a thank you card and told me it made him happy to hear of people having good memories of his son.