The teen years have begun

[Deleted]

I've got one of each and they fight like crazy! I am hoping they learn to ignore each other by the time they get to the teen years.

[zibazinski]

That's why they make bedrooms, as in you may go to yours until you decide to be civil. If that means you miss a meal because you bring your attitude to dinner, then it's on you. I don't feel that the house I pay for and the food I pay for and prepare should be ruined by someone else.

[chen35]

My 14 year old step son has his moments, but for the most part he is awesome. He has his grunting phases, but it's mostly him being goofy and making jokes non stop. He made me the most amazing Mother's Day card. He told me I was the best thing that had happened to him since his parents got divorced. It was the sweetest thing. I'm keeping it to read over in case he's a late bloomer on the whole attitude thing.

[thyme4change]

My son just spontaneously hugged me.  

[swamp]

May 23, 2014 6:14:59 GMT -5 oped said:

From my friends who have two the same gender I think maybe that has its own issues... Mine squabble sometimes, but I've never had to break up hand to hand combat...

I have one of each and I have had to break up physical fights.

[sheilaincali]

To hear the Boy tell it we are either the best parents out of all of his friends or the cruelest- all depends on the day.

Usually, I'm proud to say, we land on the "best" side of the fence. G's mom is good but kind of spacy, M's mom is great but tries a little too hard, L's mom is bossy and J's mom is super strict. (J is 15 and can't want Fresh Prince of Bel-Aire re-runs because they say "hell" too much).

As for the cruelest-

*  I scrapbook and have been known to whip out the baby years to show his female friends when they are at the house.  DS as a toddler on the potty?  Don't mind if I do

*  DS skypes with his friends a lot when they are playing on line.  DH and I have a running gag in which we go running into his room and stay behind the chair singing and dancing.  We have whole routine down to that "On that day that you were born...." song.

*  DH and I will randomly yell out things when he is on line and we know his friends can hear us.  We'll be like "Oh pookie-wookie do you want a snacky snack?"  crap like that.  His friends find us freaking hilarious! 

Thyme-  for Christmas last year DS gave me some coupons- I got three times in which I could tell him "Love you" in public, two hugs in from of his friends and one "Love you too Mom". 

[Deleted]

Ok then, must just be their temperments, not gender, still counting my lucky stars!

[Nazgul Girl]

May 22, 2014 15:07:09 GMT -5 thyme4change said:

My kids have always been very easy and wonderful.  I've always wondered how it would transition to rotten teenage years.  And I think I'm seeing how this is going to go.

My daughter is very sly.  If she doesn't want to do something (like clean her room) she just find sly ways to not do it.  She used to just do it quickly and poorly, but now she just figures out a way to not do it and me not even realize it until an hour later when I peek in her room and it is a disaster.  I started watching, and I notice that she does this with a lot of things.  She pretty much does whatever she wants.  Ack!

My son is at least a little more forward about it.  He has started to hate everything and not wanting to do anything new.  He doesn't want to go to any camps this summer.  He complained when we went to the art museum and pouted when I told him we were going to the movies.  He never wants to eat anything but pizza or tacos.  He was always very adventurous and do whatever and eat whatever.  Now he is just a poop.

So, it begins.

   Thyme, when my DD was 13, she didn't like to do laundry, fold it,  or put it away after it was folded.   She also didn't like to change the cat litter box for the two cats.   I used to fold it because she wouldn't match up the socks correctly or put it all in the right piles.   Both tasks were located in the same room ( laundry room ) which was located on the first floor.   

  Granted, I was operating in a haze part of the time because I was pulling so much overtime when I was billing, or maybe I'm just stupid,  but I used to wonder why there was so much cat litter on the stairs on the rare occasions I'd go down to the basement.  I'd get the broom and dustpan, and laboriously stoop and carefully sweep up each step.   I also wondered why there was so much laundry to fold over and over again.   

  One night, the dime finally dropped, and I realized that the shirts, socks and pants that I was folding were the same ones that I'd done the night before, and that she had been changing the cat litter box, but sweeping the litter that had fallen out of the catbox down the steps of the nearby basement stairs instead of using a dust pan.....she was re-laundering the folded laundry instead of hiking it up the stairs to the bedrooms on the second floor....

  Oh my yes, Armageddon and WW III broke loose and ensued for some time, and that was before her father got home.  Then, hell really broke loose.    She was a sneaky kid.   

  

[thyme4change]

Ha ha Nazgul Girl - I once found folded clothes in the laundry - from my husband.  That did not go well.  

[Deleted]

The flip side... Hey, the front wall needs mulched. You two go do it please... Done  

[Nazgul Girl]

May 23, 2014 20:35:22 GMT -5 thyme4change said:

Ha ha Nazgul Girl - I once found folded clothes in the laundry - from my husband.  That did not go well.  

  That's pretty annoying, isn't it.   Did he tell you why they were in the laundry ?   My daughter told me that we had too many stairs, so she'd rather rewash the folded laundry than take it upstairs to the bedrooms.

[Spellbound454]

I teach teenagers in addition to having my own....and 12-14 is definitely the hardest years.

Its better to have all the structures and routines in place before they start....then deal with it in a very clear and fair sanctions and rewards system.(from my teacher head)

If you are consistent... they come out of the other end still on track.....hopefully

Having said that my own daughter was a nightmare.....its a wonder the doors are still on their hinges we had that many tantrums and door slammings.
Didn't seem to understand why she couldn't go to a nightclub at 15

[Nazgul Girl]

May 24, 2014 7:17:40 GMT -5 Spellbound454 said:

I teach teenagers in addition to having my own....and 12-14 is definitely the hardest years.

Its better to have all the structures and routines in place before they start....then deal with it in a very clear and fair sanctions and rewards system.(from my teacher head)

If you are consistent... they come out of the other end still on track.....hopefully

Having said that my own daughter was a nightmare.....its a wonder the doors are still on their hinges we had that many tantrums and door slammings.
Didn't seem to understand why she couldn't go to a nightclub at 15

   Ours wanted a little white car that was popular at the time ( the ads ended with it blinking its headlights and it going "beep-beep" but I can't remember the name of the model ).   She told us that we could give it to her at her 15th birthday party so that she could use it for drivers ed.   Her father and I were like, " Huh ?! "   

[Deleted]

Having said that my own daughter was a nightmare.....its a wonder the doors are still on their hinges we had that many tantrums and door slammings.

I actually did take my son's door off the hinges when he was a teenager. I don't remember why or how long it was off.

On fighting, my children fought for years. It was mostly my daughter beating up her little brother. He was small for his age until he was 12 or so, and crazy about his big sister and wouldn't hit her back. When they finally stopped, I mentioned it to DD and she said "That boy got big and he hits hard". He'd had some growth spurts and was sick of her mistreating him I guess and had finally hit her back. I didn't want my kids to fight at all, but I thought "Good for him!".

They're in their early 20's now and if his sister calls him, he'll come running. He'll still do anything for her, he just stopped her from hitting him.

[achelois]

May 23, 2014 4:25:01 GMT -5 truthbound said:

My dad had no problem handling teens. You will do what I say until you are 18 and gone or I will knock you out. We did what he said.

I had no idea we were related, truthbound.



I had two boys. Had them nearly six years apart, thinking they wouldn't fight much that way. That was one of the (very few ) times I was wrong. 

[truthbound]

I had no idea either lol.

[Nazgul Girl]

May 24, 2014 8:40:54 GMT -5 Nazgul Girl said:

May 24, 2014 7:17:40 GMT -5 Spellbound454 said:

I teach teenagers in addition to having my own....and 12-14 is definitely the hardest years.

Its better to have all the structures and routines in place before they start....then deal with it in a very clear and fair sanctions and rewards system.(from my teacher head)

If you are consistent... they come out of the other end still on track.....hopefully

Having said that my own daughter was a nightmare.....its a wonder the doors are still on their hinges we had that many tantrums and door slammings.
Didn't seem to understand why she couldn't go to a nightclub at 15

   Ours wanted a little white car that was popular at the time ( the ads ended with it blinking its headlights and it going "beep-beep" but I can't remember the name of the model ).   She told us that we could give it to her at her 15th birthday party so that she could use it for drivers ed.   Her father and I were like, " Huh ?! "   

   I spent part of the day with my former teenager yesterday, and found out that the name of the car that she wanted was the Neon, and that she wanted a blue one, not a white one.    She said that when she was 11 ( when she evidently wanted the car so much ) that the car could be her friend if she was lonely.  

[thyme4change]

You are lucky if she only wanted a Neon - those things were dirt cheap.

[taz157]

And not the safest vehicles on the road either...