Iggy aka IG
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Post by Iggy aka IG on May 12, 2014 16:10:21 GMT -5
So, a few weeks ago I had an unexplainable feeling of dread. Wasn't sure what was causing it until a few days ago when I concluded it was because of the money we spent in April. $1,700 for a new living room sectional, the $1,600 at the dentist, etc. After the recession hit, and the subsequent reduction in income and BK, my spending when from 100 to zero. I learned a lot, and am not complaining-just an observation. I went from buying two pairs of shoes and a suit without blinking an eye, to accompanying my sister to an shoe store and telling her, though she offered to buy, I didn't need anything. How about you? Any emotions relating to spending?
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on May 12, 2014 17:38:08 GMT -5
Plenty.
The truth is, as long as I have a job my family will be fine. I have never been without a W-2 job since I was 15.
I had several very lean years when earnings were low and student loan payments were high. Got that and all revolving debt paid off. Started saving like a fiend for over a decade then DH and I purchased two rental properties last fall both of which are performing well.
We are closing next week on a new primary residence while still owning our current residence and it's making me nervous as hell.
I will only feel "safe" again when our current residence is sold and we have the EF built back up to 12 months.
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resolution
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Post by resolution on May 12, 2014 17:54:53 GMT -5
I am in a similar frame of mind right now. We just spent 5k on basement drainage system, another 4k on a combo vacation/job search, and DH has quit his job and started a new one out of state, so we haven't figured out how i will get his pay check. If all goes as planned, we are going to be spending money on last minute fixes to get the house ready to sell and then for movers to move across the country.
I just have to take deep breaths and remind myself that these are planned expenses and that things should calm down after the big transition.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 12, 2014 18:02:26 GMT -5
I am in a similar frame of mind right now. We just spent 5k on basement drainage system, another 4k on a combo vacation/job search, and DH has quit his job and started a new one out of state, so we haven't figured out how i will get his pay check. If all goes as planned, we are going to be spending money on last minute fixes to get the house ready to sell and then for movers to move across the country. I just have to take deep breaths and remind myself that these are planned expenses and that things should calm down after the big transition. direct deposit or mobile deposit
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resolution
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Post by resolution on May 12, 2014 18:17:30 GMT -5
LOL we are working on it. We bought him a cell phone for the trip, so in theory he could use the mobile banking ap. But he is still working on texting at this point.
We are hoping his employer will do direct deposit, or he will probably be mailing me his checks or bringing them home in a big pile in two months.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on May 12, 2014 20:05:40 GMT -5
So, a few weeks ago I had an unexplainable feeling of dread. Wasn't sure what was causing it until a few days ago when I concluded it was because of the money we spent in April. $1,700 for a new living room sectional, the $1,600 at the dentist, etc. After the recession hit, and the subsequent reduction in income and BK, my spending when from 100 to zero. I learned a lot, and am not complaining-just an observation. I went from buying two pairs of shoes and a suit without blinking an eye, to accompanying my sister to an shoe store and telling her, though she offered to buy, I didn't need anything. How about you? Any emotions relating to spending? It's that feeling of "dread" that will keep you from repeating old habits. It's a good "dread" Embrace it!!!!!!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 13, 2014 9:10:05 GMT -5
LOL we are working on it. We bought him a cell phone for the trip, so in theory he could use the mobile banking ap. But he is still working on texting at this point. We are hoping his employer will do direct deposit, or he will probably be mailing me his checks or bringing them home in a big pile in two months. he didn't have a cell phone previously? you can also check and see if your bank has a reciprocal relationship with a bank out there that he can do deposits at or he could open up a checking account out there and you access it online.
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Tiny
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Post by Tiny on May 13, 2014 10:52:23 GMT -5
LOL! I just had a rush of 'relief' since I've just been approved for a line of credit on my house! No, I'm not using my house as an ATM (well, not really). I've been feeling like I've been on the 'edge' for the last year as I purchased a 2nd rental property that was in rough shape (and stretched a bit to do it), the 1st rental property (for the first time using a property manager) and my own house, plus a bit of $$ on a 0% card and not much cash on hand. I did have small EFs for each property but one new roof or new furnance needed and I'd have to get creative financially. The HELOC combined with my deck o' balance transfer cards and good old cash on hand gives me the flexibilty/options I need to sleep well again at night. Yes, I have debt (at a level I'm comfy with) that fits nicely into my overall plan. I've still got a 'lean' 12 to 24 months coming up - but I no longer feel like I'm a unforseen "need a new furnance" away from disaster. My most recent rental property (the 2nd one) was uninhabitable when I bought it - and while it's now livable and rented! It still has some big ticket fixups looming on the horizon - a roof, a furnance, and a plumbing issue that needs to be fixed correctly instead of the "kludge" that's currently working.) After Saturday no more 'Panic Mode' for me. Oh, my 'emotions about spending' - well, it's been a rollercoaster since I bought the uninhabitable Foreclosesure a year ago. I ran all the numbers, had a good plan, new what the "little house" needed, had confidence the "little house" had good bones (even though it looked terrible!!), consoled myself that taking a new mortgage on my paid off primary home was OK, and then re-assuring myself that I wasn't crazy to buy a 2nd rental (in rough shape). I've spent alot of nights the past year going over the 'plan' and telling myself it would be OK. The Heloc - and the next year or two of spending are all in the plan and so far everything is going as expected.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on May 13, 2014 11:04:11 GMT -5
I'm having panic attacks as we inch towards September. We're moving Gwen to public pre-school which means all we need is before/after care which will drop our current daycare expenses by $325 a month.
But we'll be turning around and putting that right back into infant day expenses for Thing 2.
I "know" we can swing it. DH has a much better paying job and neither one of us are under a wage freeze like the last time. Still doesn't stop me from freaking out wondering how we're going to make all this work.
By YM standards we're total failures, I have to remind myself I don't need to compare us to YM. When I do that my anxiety level drops significantly. We'll be all right, we're just not going to be "perfect".
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Iggy aka IG
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Post by Iggy aka IG on May 13, 2014 11:12:55 GMT -5
I'm having panic attacks as we inch towards September. We're moving Gwen to public pre-school which means all we need is before/after care which will drop our current daycare expenses by $325 a month. But we'll be turning around and putting that right back into infant day expenses for Thing 2. I "know" we can swing it. DH has a much better paying job and neither one of us are under a wage freeze like the last time. Still doesn't stop me from freaking out wondering how we're going to make all this work. By YM standards we're total failures, I have to remind myself I don't need to compare us to YM. When I do that my anxiety level drops significantly. We'll be all right, we're just not going to be "perfect". And Suze Orman, too. For some reason, I've started watching her on MSNBC. Yes, I'm middle aged, no I don't have $5,434,411 saved for retirement, and no, working until I'm 70 doesn't interest me.
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momoftwo
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Post by momoftwo on May 13, 2014 11:15:16 GMT -5
Yep, I've had that feeling. As many of you know my position was eliminated in December. In March our son made his first college spring training trip to Florida and my husband wanted to go to Florida to watch him play. Even though I had enough frequent flyer points for free airfare, and enough hotel points to cover our stay, and found a smokin' deal on a car rental, I had that panic feeling of "we can't afford it!". Honestly, I often fight that feeling when spending unexpected money, even though logically I know we enough "cash" to cover us for several years.
I've found that talking through it in my head logically sometimes helps. It also helps me to consider the happiness that others will get from the spend.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on May 13, 2014 11:20:54 GMT -5
My brain tends to go into apocalypse mode when it comes to finances. When I was seeing a therapist she asked me to actually break down the steps to get there and would it honestly REALISTICALLY happen?
The answer to that of course is no. I realize I cannot control everything in life but spending $20 on something isn't going to send us into a death spiral where we lose our jobs and end up living in a cardboard box on the streets either.
I need to learn to put things into perspective.
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resolution
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Post by resolution on May 13, 2014 11:26:57 GMT -5
LOL we are working on it. We bought him a cell phone for the trip, so in theory he could use the mobile banking ap. But he is still working on texting at this point. We are hoping his employer will do direct deposit, or he will probably be mailing me his checks or bringing them home in a big pile in two months. he didn't have a cell phone previously? you can also check and see if your bank has a reciprocal relationship with a bank out there that he can do deposits at or he could open up a checking account out there and you access it online. No cell phone previously. He didn't want one. Normally if he left town for a weekend I would make him take my tracfone so I could call him, but this trip was too long for that. We bought him a cheap android phone and got the month to month straight talk from Walmart, so we can cancel it if he doesn't use the phone. I called the bank and they don't have any reciprocal agreements, so once he gets his first check I am going to try to get him to do the mobile banking ap. I know mathematically we have enough in the bank to just do without his checks until he gets home, but I do get anxiety watching the balance shrink.
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resolution
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Post by resolution on May 13, 2014 11:32:04 GMT -5
By YM standards we're total failures, I have to remind myself I don't need to compare us to YM. When I do that my anxiety level drops significantly. We'll be all right, we're just not going to be "perfect". YM is pretty schizophrenic anyway, considering all the advice we give people to spend money on various stuffs while we condemn spending on other stuffs.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on May 13, 2014 11:33:22 GMT -5
I joke it's not a good day till I find 10 ways that I suck per YM. And those 10 change depending on what the thread is about and who is posting.
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resolution
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Post by resolution on May 13, 2014 11:36:30 GMT -5
I joke it's not a good day till I find 10 ways that I suck per YM. And those 10 change depending on what the thread is about and who is posting. Well I don't think you suck. Although this is coming from someone that is planning to move from a VLCOLA where we live very well to a VHCOLA where I may have to beg for free fish at the pier.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on May 13, 2014 11:37:59 GMT -5
But you'll be begging in Hawaii!
I've been a YM member for a very long time. I take it all in stride. I'd be twisted up like a pretzel and locked in the nut house if I tried to follow every "right" thing to do per YM since it changes almost hourly.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 13, 2014 11:42:26 GMT -5
he didn't have a cell phone previously? you can also check and see if your bank has a reciprocal relationship with a bank out there that he can do deposits at or he could open up a checking account out there and you access it online. No cell phone previously. He didn't want one. Normally if he left town for a weekend I would make him take my tracfone so I could call him, but this trip was too long for that. We bought him a cheap android phone and got the month to month straight talk from Walmart, so we can cancel it if he doesn't use the phone. I called the bank and they don't have any reciprocal agreements, so once he gets his first check I am going to try to get him to do the mobile banking ap. I know mathematically we have enough in the bank to just do without his checks until he gets home, but I do get anxiety watching the balance shrink. ok, color me confused....if he took your phone when he went out of town, what did you use? I get the feeling you guys are in my age group, or possibly younger, so I'm confused as to why he wouldn't see the mobile banking app as one of the best things ever based on his situation.
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resolution
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Post by resolution on May 13, 2014 12:02:09 GMT -5
No cell phone previously. He didn't want one. Normally if he left town for a weekend I would make him take my tracfone so I could call him, but this trip was too long for that. We bought him a cheap android phone and got the month to month straight talk from Walmart, so we can cancel it if he doesn't use the phone. I called the bank and they don't have any reciprocal agreements, so once he gets his first check I am going to try to get him to do the mobile banking ap. I know mathematically we have enough in the bank to just do without his checks until he gets home, but I do get anxiety watching the balance shrink. ok, color me confused....if he took your phone when he went out of town, what did you use? I get the feeling you guys are in my age group, or possibly younger, so I'm confused as to why he wouldn't see the mobile banking app as one of the best things ever based on his situation. It is hard to explain because he is just 32, but he never got into cell phones. He is uber frugal and I have influenced him to spend more, but he would never agree to a monthly fee for something that would allow people to bother him when he doesn't want to be bothered. He even has a degree in computer programming, but I am the one that set up our online banking and the online accounts to manage our investments. When I used to send him off with my phone for the weekend, I just didn't have a cell phone that weekend. I just used my land-line if I wanted to talk to people and hoped that my car wouldn't break down if I went somewhere.
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Iggy aka IG
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Post by Iggy aka IG on May 13, 2014 12:08:17 GMT -5
ok, color me confused....if he took your phone when he went out of town, what did you use? I get the feeling you guys are in my age group, or possibly younger, so I'm confused as to why he wouldn't see the mobile banking app as one of the best things ever based on his situation. It is hard to explain because he is just 32, but he never got into cell phones. He is uber frugal and I have influenced him to spend more, but he would never agree to a monthly fee for something that would allow people to bother him when he doesn't want to be bothered. He even has a degree in computer programming, but I am the one that set up our online banking and the online accounts to manage our investments. When I used to send him off with my phone for the weekend, I just didn't have a cell phone that weekend. I just used my land-line if I wanted to talk to people and hoped that my car wouldn't break down if I went somewhere. I get this. I just recently bought my first smart phone. If it weren't for my business, and the fact we rid of our home land line years ago, I wouldn't have one at all. Before the smart phone, I had a 4+ year old regular cell phone. Because some of my clients now text me attachments, plus I travel, etc., I finally decided it was a business necessity. The monthly bill is a write off for me, but still.... The frugal side of me is still kicking and screaming, especially after receiving the first bill last week.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 13, 2014 12:15:12 GMT -5
ok, color me confused....if he took your phone when he went out of town, what did you use? I get the feeling you guys are in my age group, or possibly younger, so I'm confused as to why he wouldn't see the mobile banking app as one of the best things ever based on his situation. It is hard to explain because he is just 32, but he never got into cell phones. He is uber frugal and I have influenced him to spend more, but he would never agree to a monthly fee for something that would allow people to bother him when he doesn't want to be bothered. He even has a degree in computer programming, but I am the one that set up our online banking and the online accounts to manage our investments. When I used to send him off with my phone for the weekend, I just didn't have a cell phone that weekend. I just used my land-line if I wanted to talk to people and hoped that my car wouldn't break down if I went somewhere. oh my, I'm almost old enough to be his mother..... uber frugality can go too far...
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marvholly
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Post by marvholly on May 14, 2014 6:23:45 GMT -5
Not panic BUT
Lost my job at 64 - made it on UE for nearly 2 yr til could get soc Had HUGE expenses last fall (car, tree, fridge, tv) all havved in 2 month span. That is what the EF is for. Now holding my breath as facing some possible $$ family issues ie gave adult kid 2 of my cc & access to my BIG MM.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on May 14, 2014 11:51:41 GMT -5
I am in a similar frame of mind right now. We just spent 5k on basement drainage system, another 4k on a combo vacation/job search, and DH has quit his job and started a new one out of state, so we haven't figured out how i will get his pay check. If all goes as planned, we are going to be spending money on last minute fixes to get the house ready to sell and then for movers to move across the country. I just have to take deep breaths and remind myself that these are planned expenses and that things should calm down after the big transition. Why can't your DH just have his paycheck deposited to your current account? It doesn't matter where it is located anymore. When I left TX, I left all my banking there when I moved to KY. My banking is STILL in TX, even though I live in WA now. All that I do is send whatever place is sending me checks (my employer, SSDI, disability) a copy of my deposit slip from the bank in TX and the money winds up there.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 14, 2014 12:46:20 GMT -5
I am in a similar frame of mind right now. We just spent 5k on basement drainage system, another 4k on a combo vacation/job search, and DH has quit his job and started a new one out of state, so we haven't figured out how i will get his pay check. If all goes as planned, we are going to be spending money on last minute fixes to get the house ready to sell and then for movers to move across the country. I just have to take deep breaths and remind myself that these are planned expenses and that things should calm down after the big transition. Why can't your DH just have his paycheck deposited to your current account? It doesn't matter where it is located anymore. When I left TX, I left all my banking there when I moved to KY. My banking is STILL in TX, even though I live in WA now. All that I do is send whatever place is sending me checks (my employer, SSDI, disability) a copy of my deposit slip from the bank in TX and the money winds up there. no direct deposit
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on May 14, 2014 12:53:31 GMT -5
I don't see where there was no direct deposit.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 14, 2014 13:17:00 GMT -5
I don't see where there was no direct deposit. per OP 'We are hoping his employer will do direct deposit'
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on May 14, 2014 13:33:08 GMT -5
How often does he get paid? Have him fedx/ups it to you as last resort.
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resolution
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Post by resolution on May 14, 2014 15:00:16 GMT -5
They don't have direct deposit at his new job. They said they would ask their bank how much it would cost to implement, but it doesn't sound like they have made any progress on it.
I think at this point our best bet is going to be the mobile banking. DH has apparently learned how to use the phone to take a picture of the ocean out of his office window and text it to his buddies at his old job, so if he can do that there is no reason he can't figure out the banking ap. Otherwise if he can't get it to work we will either mail them or he can bring them home with him.
I got his paycheck from his old job in the mail today, so at least that is something.
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Artemis Windsong
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Post by Artemis Windsong on May 14, 2014 15:42:29 GMT -5
Your situation sounds very shaky. I hope it gets better soon. I did not see if your DH is in the US or foreign.
Is there a the same brand bank in the area he is in. He could just deposit there.
If he can't do the cell phone banking, I would suggest opening a bank account with a bank where is then doing electronic transfer, if it is offered by the bank. ------------- We've been retired for years. It is a very uneasy feeling not having that paycheck coming in monthly. Knowing the job is there for you. I am usually careful and think through most purchases.
I was so glad to get Soc. Sec. All was great for about 3 yrs, then I bought a newer used car and the payments come out of that account as well as the ever increasing insurance premiums until DH got obamacare Now I pay more for my supplement than he does.
It's a catch 22.
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dannylion
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Post by dannylion on May 18, 2014 14:10:17 GMT -5
How often does he get paid? Have him fedx/ups it to you as last resort. Or he could open a bank account in Hawaii (checking or savings, whichever one would not have any fees) and deposit his paychecks there, and you or he could electronically transfer the money to your home account. Just make sure the Hawaii bank account offers the option of electronic transfers.
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