whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Apr 24, 2014 16:52:41 GMT -5
So, my kid is having a surgery tomorrow. It's outpatient, but there will be general anesthesia involved.
He has seen a doctor twice in the last week, but there haven't been any tests or shots or anything, so he is thinking that tomorrow is just going to be the same.
I don't know if we shouldn't say anything or explain the whole thing. I don't usually lie to my kids, but I also don't want him to worry about something that I don't think he can fully understand.
He understands that the doctor will fix him tomorrow and he won't be able to run around and play for "a bit" after that (which actually going to be ~2wks, but again, not something I want to tell him)
So, would you give any details? Would you just kind of not say anything more and let's see what happens??
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swasat
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Post by swasat on Apr 24, 2014 16:58:07 GMT -5
I wouldn't talk to him about general anesthesia. However, I would talk to him about recovery time, and how sometimes we have to give our bodies time to rest after the doctor "fixes" us.
I would also tell him that mommy (and/or daddy) would be right outside in the waiting area.
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chen35
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Post by chen35 on Apr 24, 2014 17:05:26 GMT -5
I would tell him that the Dr. will give him some medicine to help him sleep while he fixes the problem. I think it would be kind of scary for that to happen and have him not be prepared for it.
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truthbound
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Post by truthbound on Apr 24, 2014 17:06:54 GMT -5
Just tell him what the procedure will entail.
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Abby Normal
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Post by Abby Normal on Apr 24, 2014 17:07:22 GMT -5
My son had to have surgery when he was 5 to repair his heart. He had been going to the doctor for it every 6 months, so it wasn't a surprise. But when it came closer to the time, I told him we would go to the hospital and he would get an awesome room. Then when they were ready, they would give him "happy juice" to help him sleep and when he woke up, it would be fixed. He would have to stay at the hospital for a little while while they made sure it worked like it was supposed to, then he would have to take it easy and rest for a few days.
He asked a few questions like if I would be with him. I told him that I would be with him when they gave him the sleepy medicine, but after that he would go into the special room where only he got to go. Mommies and Daddies weren't allowed, but we'd be there when he woke up.
That was enough for him.
I don't do well with medical stuff (unlike DH who is awesome). I held it together right up until the took him into the OR. They opened that door to wheel him and and I lost it. Thankfully, he was so full of happy juice he had no idea.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Apr 24, 2014 17:11:50 GMT -5
Oh crap. He has never been anywhere without my husband or I. I have no idea how to tell him that we can't go with him, he will get hysterical. I wonder if I can weasel my way into it or something....
Yeah, this all has happen REALLY fast, hopefully, he won't have time to get too scared.
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Abby Normal
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Post by Abby Normal on Apr 24, 2014 17:15:23 GMT -5
Then don't tell him that part. For my kid, anywhere he got to go that was someplace we couldn't was extra cool. Once they give him something to relax, he won't remember much, if anything. If you don't want to lie- just tell him " I'll be right here when you go to sleep and right here when you wake up". He likely won't make the connection that there is a time in between.
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lazysundays
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Post by lazysundays on Apr 24, 2014 17:16:40 GMT -5
The details of you will lay down on a bed, mommy and daddy will be with you the whole time (hopefully you aren't asked to leave until child falls asleep) and we will see you when you wake up.If you have to be separated, find the nurse that will be there during the procedure and introduce her as a close trusted friend and let the kid know it's ok to ask to hold hands with nurse. Also the kid it's ok to be scared and that you are proud of child for being brave.
I like to tell them this appointment the doctor will check your throat or give you a quick *pinch* shot just like that. Encourage questions. And offer no more than necessary.
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Rocky Mtn Saver
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Post by Rocky Mtn Saver on Apr 24, 2014 17:20:42 GMT -5
He asked a few questions like if I would be with him. I told him that I would be with him when they gave him the sleepy medicine, but after that he would go into the special room where only he got to go. Mommies and Daddies weren't allowed, but we'd be there when he woke up. That was enough for him. I don't do well with medical stuff (unlike DH who is awesome). I held it together right up until the took him into the OR. They opened that door to wheel him and and I lost it. Thankfully, he was so full of happy juice he had no idea.My nephew was hilarious on the happy juice when he had a minor surgery done at about the same age. He coulda cared less what was going on, but he was sure happy to entertain the nurses with his singing and stories!
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Abby Normal
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Post by Abby Normal on Apr 24, 2014 17:20:35 GMT -5
They don't put them to sleep until they are actually in the OR. So you can't be there for that. But seriously with the pre stuff they gave DS- nothing bothered him. He was completely loopy. Made me feel much better.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 24, 2014 17:29:01 GMT -5
I'm kind of surprised the hospital doesn't have some sort of information class that shows the kids the hospital, where they'll be, etc.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 24, 2014 17:30:53 GMT -5
Tell him he will be with Jesus soon.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Apr 24, 2014 17:40:42 GMT -5
I'm kind of surprised the hospital doesn't have some sort of information class that shows the kids the hospital, where they'll be, etc. he is 4 - it would be completely useless except may be get him more scared. And even if we wanted to do the class - the surgery was decided at noon today and scheduled for 9am tomorrow the whole thing should take a few hours and that's it.
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Nazgul Girl
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Post by Nazgul Girl on Apr 24, 2014 17:45:04 GMT -5
Tell him that you love him, that he needs to be "fixed", that the doctors and nurses will take care of him, and that they will help him get better, and that you will see him right after they're done fixing him. Also, confide in the nurse about your son never having been away from you before. They may be able to give him a sedative. Best wishes for successful surgery and a fast recover for the little guy.
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Abby Normal
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Post by Abby Normal on Apr 24, 2014 17:46:30 GMT -5
Just remember that the more concerned you are- the more concerned/scare he will be. If you act nonchalant, he'll still be scared, but not as scared as if he realizes you are. I really think they should hand out the happy juice to parents too.
What is he having done? When DS went in- they let him pick out a stuff animal to keep with him. It was there when he went to sleep and there when he woke up. But that was at a childrens hospital. If you are at a general one- you can go tonight and pick out a special one for him to take with him.
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Apr 24, 2014 17:51:12 GMT -5
They don't put them to sleep until they are actually in the OR. So you can't be there for that. But seriously with the pre stuff they gave DS- nothing bothered him. He was completely loopy. Made me feel much better. I got to go into the OR when they put DS to sleep for his tonsils. If it is a pediatric doc, they will hopefully be very skilled at working with kids. DS's doc was fantastic. They let DS bring his stuffed animal into the OR & put the littlest gas mask thing on him before they put one on DS. The doc also whispered for me to give DS my phone to play games as we were walking him to help distract him. As far as DS knew, there was never a point where I wasn't there with him. I would just tell your kid that the doctor is going to put him to sleep for a bit to fix him. Don't go into too many details about how, but answer his questions.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 24, 2014 18:54:56 GMT -5
I'm kind of surprised the hospital doesn't have some sort of information class that shows the kids the hospital, where they'll be, etc. he is 4 - it would be completely useless except may be get him more scared. And even if we wanted to do the class - the surgery was decided at noon today and scheduled for 9am tomorrow the whole thing should take a few hours and that's it. no it's designed to make children not scared. since they use it in a lot of hospitals for kids of all ages, I'm pretty sure it works or they wouldn't keep doing it. If he's having it done in a children's hospital then I'm sure they have lots of strategies for scared kids.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Apr 24, 2014 19:11:07 GMT -5
Just remember that the more concerned you are- the more concerned/scare he will be. If you act nonchalant, he'll still be scared, but not as scared as if he realizes you are.I really think they should hand out the happy juice to parents too. What is he having done? When DS went in- they let him pick out a stuff animal to keep with him. It was there when he went to sleep and there when he woke up. But that was at a childrens hospital. If you are at a general one- you can go tonight and pick out a special one for him to take with him. You beat me to it. My son had to have tonsils and adnoids out at 4. Dr. just explained to him that he was going to fix things so he wouldn't have any more ear "achies" (son's name for them) and sore throats. Son looked at him and said "well good". He went in like a trooper and came out of surgery screaming like a banshee. Said his throat hurt and Dr. lied. Then I reminded him that doc said it would hurt for a day or two. Oh, and all the ice cream he could eat................ ETA: this was back in the dark ages so don't know what the manuals are telling folks to do now to prepare kids.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Apr 24, 2014 19:15:28 GMT -5
Well, my husband is taking him tomorrow, hopefully he won't look too freaked out The kid doesn't seem worried yet. I probably should tell him that we won't be able to go with him, but I just can't....
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kittensaver
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Post by kittensaver on Apr 24, 2014 19:24:13 GMT -5
If your husband is calm and not freaked-out, you child will most probably follow his lead. Unless your child has asked you some pointed questions about his treatment, I too would keep it "light and low key." Tell him that the doctor is going to fix his problem tomorrow, and you are happy for him that it is getting fixed. If he asks, tell him that they will give him medicine to help him sleep so his fix will go fast. I give him age-appropriate information only in response to the questions he asks. If you and your DH "normalize" this doctor visit for him, he will probably be fine. If you make a big/nervous deal out of it, so will he.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 24, 2014 20:01:55 GMT -5
Well, my husband is taking him tomorrow, hopefully he won't look too freaked out The kid doesn't seem worried yet. I probably should tell him that we won't be able to go with him, but I just can't.... are you absolutely sure you can't go with him? if not, I wouldn't say anything yet.
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cronewitch
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Post by cronewitch on Apr 24, 2014 20:11:03 GMT -5
Tell him it is like when you take a pet to the Vet to be fixed or put to sleep. They go in alive with all their parts, come out the other way.
I wouldn't tell him you can't come into the operating room until the last minute. Then when they take him in tell him wait a second I need to go talk to someone I will be in before you know it, just do what they say.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Apr 24, 2014 21:07:34 GMT -5
Oh crap. He has never been anywhere without my husband or I. I have no idea how to tell him that we can't go with him, he will get hysterical. I wonder if I can weasel my way into it or something.... Yeah, this all has happen REALLY fast, hopefully, he won't have time to get too scared. One of my kids had appendicitis at age 4 and had emergency surgery. I got to go with her when they started the anesthesia. i had to leave fairly soon afterwards, but she was already out of it when I had to leave. My oldest has had oral surgery a couple of times and I always stayed with him during the beginning of anesthesia as well.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 24, 2014 21:15:18 GMT -5
Well, my husband is taking him tomorrow, hopefully he won't look too freaked out The kid doesn't seem worried yet. I probably should tell him that we won't be able to go with him, but I just can't.... Don't word it that you can't go with him. Talk about Daddy going to the hospital with him, Daddy and him talking to the doctor and Daddy waiting right by the door while he gets fixed. Anesthesia is fun and the surgery will be over before he knows it has started. And Lena, everything will be fine.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Apr 24, 2014 21:54:50 GMT -5
he doesn't want me to go, he wants my husband to go. we haven't told him that we can't go with him I told my husband just to give him Ipad and ask one of the nurses to bring it out once he falls asleep. that's all i can do at this point. thanks everyone for suggestions and comments and everything, i truly appreciate it. now I should probably start working on my paper before I fail my last class.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Apr 24, 2014 21:56:54 GMT -5
Well, my husband is taking him tomorrow, hopefully he won't look too freaked out The kid doesn't seem worried yet. I probably should tell him that we won't be able to go with him, but I just can't.... are you absolutely sure you can't go with him? if not, I wouldn't say anything yet. yes, the surgeon was pretty firm on that when my husband met her this morning.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 24, 2014 22:04:12 GMT -5
When I was in the third grade, my mother took me to a strange hospital for an operation on my knee. I was told NOTHING before hand, simply handed off to a nurse, not to see my mom again until I woke after the surgery. It was the most traumatic, terrifying experience of my life, one I've never forgotten. Any bond I may have had with my mother was then broken.
Please explain to your child.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Apr 25, 2014 6:23:21 GMT -5
Good luck to you and the kiddo today!
Sent from my ADR6410LVW using proboards
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taz157
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Post by taz157 on Apr 25, 2014 6:45:20 GMT -5
Good luck to you and the kiddo today! Sent from my ADR6410LVW using proboards Yeah that! By the way, what's he having done?
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Apr 25, 2014 6:47:27 GMT -5
Good luck to you and the kiddo today! Sent from my ADR6410LVW using proboards
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