Ava
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 30, 2011 12:23:55 GMT -5
Posts: 4,256
|
Post by Ava on Apr 21, 2014 16:59:24 GMT -5
I've been at my new job (same company, different position and different location) for six weeks. I am having several issues, all of them pretty recent. They are (to me) quite serious and I want to deal with them before they grow. 1- For the first 5 weeks my new manager was great. Last Thursday he got a phone call very early to inform him he would get a surprise audit at 2:00 pm that same day. He went ballistics. He grabbed a co-worker and me and gave us a bunch of huge folders. I got 17. Our mission was to go page by page and find all the signed contracts and all the amendments to the contracts. Then we had to take them out of the folders, separate them, photocopy them, and put them back. I had hundreds of pages to find and photocopy. The manager was becoming more and more agitated as we approached his deadline, and finally he turned rude. I told him; "Please calm down", and he said "I'm calm" but he was not. I missed exactly three pages, and he came back to my cube very angry and told me to make copies of those pages. Then he murmured something, I'm 80% certain he said: "You knucklehead". He took Friday off and today he was back. He avoided me all day, so finally I went to him and said hello. Then he avoided me the rest of the day. Does he plan to avoid me forever? I also don't feel good with him because I'm almost certain he called me knucklehead. 2- My boss' boss is a screamer. He had kind of raised his voice at me a couple of times but today he really yelled at me. I had made a mistake, true, but nothing justifies yelling at another person, in my book. I was so dumbfounded that I didn't say anything. I don't want this kind of behavior to become a habit. 3- Last week my boss designated a senior analyst as the person who'll correct my work because I'm new. My boss corrected my work before that. This senior analyst does things completely different from the way my boss taught me. He is not consistent, and sometimes tells me to fix this, and other times to fix that, sometimes do it this way, sometimes this other way. I already told him I don't understand his method, and that I'm totally confused. He said "Of course you can disagree with me". The thing is, I'm trying to learn. I'm in no condition to disagree with anybody. I want to talk to my boss and explain the situation, but I don't want this senior analyst to get in trouble. What would you do? And sorry for the long post
|
|
Shooby
Senior Associate
Joined: Jan 17, 2013 0:32:36 GMT -5
Posts: 14,782
Mini-Profile Name Color: 1cf04f
|
Post by Shooby on Apr 21, 2014 17:05:53 GMT -5
At this point I would just lay low and assess the situation. See if this audit was an abberation that freaked out your boss vs typical day to day behavior. Forget the knucklehead comment. That is past. What the boss' boss does isn't your concern. And pump the senior analyst for info on how to survive there.
|
|
|
Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Apr 21, 2014 17:10:02 GMT -5
I told him; "Please calm down", and he said "I'm calm" but he was not.
Telling someone who is upset to calm down is like waving a red flag in front of a bull, Ava. It also sounds patronizing.
IMO, best thing you can do when something like this happens is to just lie low until they get over their emotions. While the knucklehead statement isn't good, do you know that he was not calling himself one?
About the senior analyst, what I would do is set up a meeting with him or her and discuss exactly how they want to have things done. Take copious notes during the meeting and do it how they want you to do it. With your notes, you have something to refer back to. If they see you take notes, they know you are serious about doing it the way that they want and can't flip flop without looking like an ass.
|
|
gacpa
Familiar Member
Joined: Nov 19, 2013 16:08:06 GMT -5
Posts: 738
|
Post by gacpa on Apr 21, 2014 17:17:37 GMT -5
I agree with Shooby and I have been in this situation many times when working on something new to me. When you work on something new and time becomes a factor as "hurry up and get it done", this is what happens. Tempers fray. You are not at fault here. You are having to deal with someone else's mess. I would try not to take the situation personally but do try to learn from it. You may well discover the problem is not you, it is your bosses. Once you learn the ropes, you can choose whether you want to deal with this behavior or not if it gets to be an ongoing problem they have. You are not at fault here.
I have spent almost all of my career having to figure out things for myself, because nobody had time or energy to train me. Such is the industry I work in.
|
|
Phoenix84
Senior Associate
Joined: Feb 17, 2011 21:42:35 GMT -5
Posts: 10,056
|
Post by Phoenix84 on Apr 21, 2014 17:20:44 GMT -5
1. Not really much you can do about it. I agree it was unprofessional, but all you can do is keep showing up and doing your job. People make mistakes, and he should realize that. I once had a boss literally write I was a klutz in my annual review. Anyway, I would just keep showing up and doing your best and try to keep the mistakes to a minimum. Either he'll come around or won't. Either way, don't give him any ammunition to use against you should it come to that. Don't dwell on the kuncklehead comment, it's said and done.
2. Again, not really much you can do about it. If it becomes routine I guess you can ask, in a calm and professional tone, that he please not yell at you. But if he still does it then you just have to learn to live with it.
3. I would point out to the analyst and that the inconsistances and ask that he be consistent as you are learning things. I don't know exactly what you're doing, and if there's "more than one way to skin a cat" but you should express your concerns to the analyst and ask him to be consistent in what he shows you. Be specific when you talk to him. "Hi Mike, you said to correct item3 in paragraph 6 this way, but last week you said to do it this way, which way is right?"
|
|
Ava
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 30, 2011 12:23:55 GMT -5
Posts: 4,256
|
Post by Ava on Apr 21, 2014 17:21:58 GMT -5
Wow, excellent advice right out of the gate.
I am inclined to believe my manager's reaction to the audit was him breaking down under the pressure. I'm not sure he was calling me a knucklehead, himself, or maybe saying something different; it really sounded like "you knucklehead" but he said it really low. I'll go ahead and smile and be normal with him tomorrow; give him a second chance.
About the senior analyst, yes, maybe I should sit down with him and take notes. I respect him because he's been doing his job for a couple of years and I'm new, but he's not clear how he wants things done. I'll ask him for a meeting tomorrow.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 9, 2024 8:25:50 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Apr 21, 2014 17:22:55 GMT -5
I'll agree with Mich. There is nothing I hate more when I am upset about something than to be told to "chill." I usually snap, "I can't 'chill' right now" in a rather angry voice.
Name calling? Well, it isn't pleasant, but he could have said much worse. Honestly, you are new. Like Mich said, just lie low. Don't wear your feelings on your sleeve.
|
|
Shooby
Senior Associate
Joined: Jan 17, 2013 0:32:36 GMT -5
Posts: 14,782
Mini-Profile Name Color: 1cf04f
|
Post by Shooby on Apr 21, 2014 17:24:55 GMT -5
Honestly, it has taken me YEARS, but I have finally learned to not take other people's issues and personalities to heart so much at work. Just because a coworker wants to be a miserable bitch doesnt' mean I have to let him/her spoil my day. He/She can go huff and puff and attempt to enact out their control freak tendencies and I will just continue to go about doing my job the best that I can. When you are new, you need to just sit back and study the dynamics right now.
|
|
Ava
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 30, 2011 12:23:55 GMT -5
Posts: 4,256
|
Post by Ava on Apr 21, 2014 17:25:14 GMT -5
1. Not really much you can do about it. I agree it was unprofessional, but all you can do is keep showing up and doing your job. People make mistakes, and he should realize that. I once had a boss literally write I was a klutz in my annual review. Anyway, I would just keep showing up and doing your best and try to keep the mistakes to a minimum. Either he'll come around or won't. Either way, don't give him any ammunition to use against you should it come to that. 2. Again, not really much you can do about it. I guess you can ask, in a calm and professional tone, that he please not yell at you. But if he still does it then you just have to learn to live with it. 3. I would point out to the analyst and that the inconsistances and ask that he be consistent as you are learning things. I don't know exactly what you're doing, and if there's "more than one way to skin a cat" but you should express your concerns to the analyst and ask him to be consistent. Thanks, Phoenix, and sorry about someone writing that in your review. That's totally uncalled for. 3. Yes, there are a couple of ways to do things, be we have to be very conservative and consistent because we get audited. We shouldn't be using one method to consider the financial situation of a customer, and another method for another customer. 2. I'll smile and bear it. 1. I'll give him another chance and if he does it again, I'll just keep showing up, doing my best and keeping contact to a minimum.
|
|
|
Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Apr 21, 2014 17:26:44 GMT -5
I'm not sure he was calling me a knucklehead, himself, or maybe saying something different; it really sounded like "you knucklehead" but he said it really low. I'll go ahead and smile and be normal with him tomorrow; give him a second chance.
When I'm pissed of at myself because I did something stupid, I call myself all kinds of names, so I will bet he was calling himself knucklehead under his breath. It sounds like he was caught flat footed about this audit.
And the fact that he is laying low and not interacting with you may mean he is embarrassed as to how he acted when he let his emotions get the better of him.
Just continue to be yourself and let it blow over.
|
|
Phoenix84
Senior Associate
Joined: Feb 17, 2011 21:42:35 GMT -5
Posts: 10,056
|
Post by Phoenix84 on Apr 21, 2014 17:26:59 GMT -5
Ava,
As a general rule in the working world, you have to do your best to check your emotions at the door. What others say or do to you at work, don't take it home with you or dwell on it. Put on a winter coat if you got thin skin and just do your job. Whenever someone says something to me I don't like and I'm taking offense, I always tell myself "it's not personal, it's just business." Repeat as needed.
So far, it seems like you're getting it. Considering you were a nervous wreck when you started, I'm glad to see that you are still positive and upbeat about the situation.
Southernsusana has a point. If someone is freaking out about something, telling them to calm down may cause them to become more upset.
|
|
Ava
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 30, 2011 12:23:55 GMT -5
Posts: 4,256
|
Post by Ava on Apr 21, 2014 17:28:39 GMT -5
Honestly, it has taken me YEARS, but I have finally learned to not take other people's issues and personalities to heart so much at work. Just because a coworker wants to be a miserable bitch doesnt' mean I have to let him/her spoil my day. He/She can go huff and puff and attempt to enact out their control freak tendencies and I will just continue to go about doing my job the best that I can. When you are new, you need to just sit back and study the dynamics right now. I agree with you and Susana. No, I don't want to let them ruin my day. As far as I know, nobody knows I'm upset. I just come from a very friendly and stress-free work environment and the situation here is quite different. I'm trying to adapt. Of the three issues, I think the one I really need to act on is the senior analyst giving me different advice each time I present a case. And you guys are awesome at helping keep things in perspective.
|
|
Shooby
Senior Associate
Joined: Jan 17, 2013 0:32:36 GMT -5
Posts: 14,782
Mini-Profile Name Color: 1cf04f
|
Post by Shooby on Apr 21, 2014 17:31:37 GMT -5
Or, maybe he isn't talking to you because he simply isn't the talkative type. Don't take it personally. I have really had to deal with a LOT of personalities over the years. And, yes some places to work are definitely better than others. But, in reality, the biggest issue for me is to decide if the job, hours and money are worth "putting up" with whatever the particular work place issues are. And, no matter where you work there are also some issues. And, once I decide I am in for the long haul, I simply just do what I need to do to work around those people. Or, you might find they are truly miserable beyond belief and then you just bide your time, get some good experience and move on. Either way, win, win.
|
|
Ava
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 30, 2011 12:23:55 GMT -5
Posts: 4,256
|
Post by Ava on Apr 21, 2014 17:37:25 GMT -5
Or, maybe he isn't talking to you because he simply isn't the talkative type. Don't take it personally. I have really had to deal with a LOT of personalities over the years. And, yes some places to work are definitely better than others. But, in reality, the biggest issue for me is to decide if the job, hours and money are worth "putting up" with whatever the particular work place issues are. And, no matter where you work there are also some issues. And, once I decide I am in for the long haul, I simply just do what I need to do to work around those people. Or, you might find they are truly miserable beyond belief and then you just bide your time, get some good experience and move on. Either way, win, win. Thanks again for the good advice. My boss IS the talkative type. But like I said, I'll start with a blank page tomorrow. I'm pretty confident we can get over this pretty soon. If this kind of behavior becomes a habit then, yes, I'll lay low and as far away from him as possible. I'm not in this for the long haul; 12 to 18 months if everything goes according to my plan. And the office is 5 minutes from my condo.
|
|
Shooby
Senior Associate
Joined: Jan 17, 2013 0:32:36 GMT -5
Posts: 14,782
Mini-Profile Name Color: 1cf04f
|
Post by Shooby on Apr 21, 2014 17:38:09 GMT -5
Well, a 5 min trip IS a major selling point!
|
|
resolution
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 13:09:56 GMT -5
Posts: 7,244
Mini-Profile Name Color: 305b2b
|
Post by resolution on Apr 21, 2014 21:16:13 GMT -5
I may be off base with this, but I had a manager from South America and she tended to speak with her hands. In stressful situations she would move her hands around as she spoke and sometimes point. The staff would get very intimidated and defensive with the hand movements, so I used to advise her to be conscious of it and clasp her hands together in front of her or do something else with her hands when she was in a situation of stress or conflict.
I don't know how similar your culture is to hers, but if you do speak with your hands a lot you may want to be conscious of that when talking to the Sr. Analyst. He may be a little intimidated when you ask him questions about inconsistencies.
|
|
Ava
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 30, 2011 12:23:55 GMT -5
Posts: 4,256
|
Post by Ava on Apr 21, 2014 22:43:57 GMT -5
Ava, How would you feel about going into his office with a cup of coffee and clearing the air? Maybe just asking him in an amused tone " Did you call me a knucklehead?" I'm not sure letting this slide is the best way to handle it unless you are willing to adapt to it. If you want it to be handled different ly in the future, you need to be proactive now. If they are like this after 5 weeks, expect escalation going forward. My previous manager didn't want me taking this job. He told me they were "difficult". But I couldn't deal with the long commute anymore. And to be honest, my previous manager didn't like any other internal job I was looking at, so at the time I didn't pay much attention to his opinion. I'm afraid he was right about this one, though. The thing is; you cannot be soft-skinned at work. At the same time, I don't want to be verbally abused or harassed. I've been working hard since I got this new position, I want to be a good employee. But I don't like what I'm starting to see from them. So, I don't know. I guess I'll let it slide for now and reevaluate if things escalate. I could contact my previous manager, but what is he going to do? Obviously I cannot go back to my previous job after the company promoted me to a higher position. If things get too bad I'll have to come up with a plan B. I hope I don't get there.
|
|
Ava
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 30, 2011 12:23:55 GMT -5
Posts: 4,256
|
Post by Ava on Apr 21, 2014 22:48:53 GMT -5
I may be off base with this, but I had a manager from South America and she tended to speak with her hands. In stressful situations she would move her hands around as she spoke and sometimes point. The staff would get very intimidated and defensive with the hand movements, so I used to advise her to be conscious of it and clasp her hands together in front of her or do something else with her hands when she was in a situation of stress or conflict. I don't know how similar your culture is to hers, but if you do speak with your hands a lot you may want to be conscious of that when talking to the Sr. Analyst. He may be a little intimidated when you ask him questions about inconsistencies. Thanks for the advice, resolution, but that's not me. I'm very quiet, talk so low that people often ask me to repeat what I said, and don't move my hands at all. I also don't touch people, and I don't like others to touch me in a work environment. I don't use nicknames unless the other person asks me to call them "Mike" or "Sue", etc. South America is huge and there are many cultures. People from the south (like me) are more introvert and quiet. I really doubt the Senior Analyst, or anyone else, would feel intimidated by me.
|
|
msventoux
Senior Member
Joined: Feb 12, 2011 22:32:37 GMT -5
Posts: 3,037
|
Post by msventoux on Apr 21, 2014 23:14:41 GMT -5
It may be how you're approaching him regarding the inconsistencies. I'm training a new person now whose first response to anything I try to tell them is "Oh my gosh, that's not how I've ever done that, this is so weird." Every single procedure I try to show them. It gets really tiring and they're pretty combative about why their method is best. I'm not saying there's not value to their method, but there's value to ours as well and I would expect a new person to be somewhat adaptable and try to understand why things are done a certain way before coming in and trying to overhaul everything.
I'm not saying that is how you're presenting yourself at all, but the senior analyst may be perceiving that as being your attitude. He's probably seeing your confusion as disagreement or disapproval rather than a genuine willingness to understand and implement what he's trying to tell you if you could just understand it.
|
|
Ava
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 30, 2011 12:23:55 GMT -5
Posts: 4,256
|
Post by Ava on Apr 21, 2014 23:23:57 GMT -5
It may be how you're approaching him regarding the inconsistencies. I'm training a new person now whose first response to anything I try to tell them is "Oh my gosh, that's not how I've ever done that, this is so weird." Every single procedure I try to show them. It gets really tiring and they're pretty combative about why their method is best. I'm not saying there's not value to their method, but there's value to ours as well and I would expect a new person to be somewhat adaptable and try to understand why things are done a certain way before coming in and trying to overhaul everything. I'm not saying that is how you're presenting yourself at all, but the senior analyst may be perceiving that as being your attitude. He's probably seeing your confusion as disagreement or disapproval rather than a genuine willingness to understand and implement what he's trying to tell you if you could just understand it. Maybe he sees that attitude in me, I hope not. I have to say that he's very patient in explaining, but I cannot make sense of the different ways he solves each case. It's like he's presenting a different method for each case. I rather ask questions than just copy what he says without understanding. I won't blindly follow what he says because if I do, then I won't get any answers. At this point I don't want to challenge him; I just want to learn his method. I will ask him to have a meeting tomorrow, see if I can understand what he's doing. Because I don't want him explaining case by case, at this point what I want is to learn the general rules he uses. Right now, I cannot see a set of rules. Each person is different, and my manager explained the general rules right away in a very clear manner. So it was easy to follow. This person has a different method, and so far I haven't grasped it.
|
|
truthbound
Familiar Member
Joined: Mar 1, 2014 6:01:51 GMT -5
Posts: 814
|
Post by truthbound on Apr 22, 2014 4:20:06 GMT -5
1. Not really much you can do about it. I agree it was unprofessional, but all you can do is keep showing up and doing your job. People make mistakes, and he should realize that. I once had a boss literally write I was a klutz in my annual review. Anyway, I would just keep showing up and doing your best and try to keep the mistakes to a minimum. Either he'll come around or won't. Either way, don't give him any ammunition to use against you should it come to that. Don't dwell on the kuncklehead comment, it's said and done. 2. Again, not really much you can do about it. If it becomes routine I guess you can ask, in a calm and professional tone, that he please not yell at you. But if he still does it then you just have to learn to live with it. 3. I would point out to the analyst and that the inconsistances and ask that he be consistent as you are learning things. I don't know exactly what you're doing, and if there's "more than one way to skin a cat" but you should express your concerns to the analyst and ask him to be consistent in what he shows you. Be specific when you talk to him. "Hi Mike, you said to correct item3 in paragraph 6 this way, but last week you said to do it this way, which way is right?" That. You are lucky to have a job in this economy. That aside when you are in a subordinate position there is not much you can do.
|
|
Shooby
Senior Associate
Joined: Jan 17, 2013 0:32:36 GMT -5
Posts: 14,782
Mini-Profile Name Color: 1cf04f
|
Post by Shooby on Apr 22, 2014 5:20:59 GMT -5
Ava, How would you feel about going into his office with a cup of coffee and clearing the air? Maybe just asking him in an amused tone " Did you call me a knucklehead?" I'm not sure letting this slide is the best way to handle it unless you are willing to adapt to it. If you want it to be handled different ly in the future, you need to be proactive now. If they are like this after 5 weeks, expect escalation going forward. My previous manager didn't want me taking this job. He told me they were "difficult". But I couldn't deal with the long commute anymore. And to be honest, my previous manager didn't like any other internal job I was looking at, so at the time I didn't pay much attention to his opinion. I'm afraid he was right about this one, though. The thing is; you cannot be soft-skinned at work. At the same time, I don't want to be verbally abused or harassed. I've been working hard since I got this new position, I want to be a good employee. But I don't like what I'm starting to see from them. So, I don't know. I guess I'll let it slide for now and reevaluate if things escalate. I could contact my previous manager, but what is he going to do? Obviously I cannot go back to my previous job after the company promoted me to a higher position. If things get too bad I'll have to come up with a plan B. I hope I don't get there. [br Just give it some time. And just let this incident pass. As for them being difficult , maybe they are. Some employers are difficult. Focus on the positive. Learning new skills , shory commute, etc. If u wanted your old job back u could probably get it. I have left jobs and gone back. That is up to you. Think about the pros and cons.
|
|
resolution
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 13:09:56 GMT -5
Posts: 7,244
Mini-Profile Name Color: 305b2b
|
Post by resolution on Apr 22, 2014 5:34:20 GMT -5
Are you still going to school part time and planning to move to Florida when you graduate? It may help you to remind yourself that you are a short timer, and will move on from this within a couple years after you have the experience and training that it can provide.
|
|
NomoreDramaQ1015
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 48,085
|
Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Apr 22, 2014 8:52:04 GMT -5
He said "Of course you can disagree with me"
To me this indicates he's all right with feedback/questions. You don't have to blindly do what he says.
My boss will sometimes give me instructions and then give me a conflicting set later. My boss is very busy so doesn't always remember he told me something a couple hours ago. When that happens I speak up. I tell him you told me Y and Z for this project which one do you want me to follow?
Sometimes it doesn't matter, other times it does and he will clarify.
If you don't understand something ask. It's better to ask questions than to wallow blindly. Wallowing blindly often leads to mistakes.
|
|
hoops902
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 22, 2010 13:21:29 GMT -5
Posts: 11,978
|
Post by hoops902 on Apr 22, 2014 9:35:33 GMT -5
::Then he avoided me the rest of the day. Does he plan to avoid me forever? I also don't feel good with him because I'm almost certain he called me knucklehead.::
It's not as if he called you a "dumb bitch". Maybe others take knucklehead more seriously. Around here it's just kind of a funny term. It's not even really considered an insult. It's like saying "you goofball".
|
|
michelyn8
Familiar Member
Joined: Jul 25, 2012 6:48:24 GMT -5
Posts: 926
|
Post by michelyn8 on Apr 23, 2014 11:52:33 GMT -5
Wow, I'd hate to work with some of you who think its ok for the boss's boss to yell at her. That is something I tolerate from no one and I make it known I won't tolerate it. I had worked with my current boss for less than two weeks when I told him he'd yell at me one time. I didn't say outright I'd quit on the spot or report him to HR, just let it be known it would only happen once and let him draw his own conclusions. I don't even remember how the subject came up actually. I've worked for him for over 3.5 years now and he has never raised his voice to me although I've heard him do it to the others in the office several times over the years. Actually I've never had a boss yell at me, even the ones that were most tempermental. So IMO, telling something they just have to put up with that kind of behavior is bad advice. People treat you the way you allow them to and if you allow someone to yell and be verbally abusive more than once, it is only going to get worse.
To the OP: 1) let the knucklhead comment go. You're not sure you heard it right so its not worth anymore of your energy. Just concentrate on building a good relationship with your boss going forward. If you sense he's tense, show concern without asking about it outright. If you feel you must discuss this situation with him, approach it as an I want to learn conversation. Do these surprise audits happen often? Is there anything you can do to help him be better prepared for the next one - a new procedure, different filing system, etc. 2) If boss's boss yells at you again, ask to speak to him privately and express to him that this is unacceptable to you. Do not make threats, just statements and let him know you want to know when you make a mistake but respond better if its communicated to you in a calm manner. Be respectful and let him you know you expect the same in return. If he becomes hostile, then you can decide if you want to "live with it", file a complaint with HR or quit. 3) Request a meeting with your boss and this analyst to discuss which is the proper processes you are to follow. Its ok to be confused - you're dealing with two different working styles but you also want to make sure the end result if what your boss is looking for and you need clear direction to do that.
|
|
happyhoix
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Oct 7, 2011 7:22:42 GMT -5
Posts: 21,568
|
Post by happyhoix on Apr 23, 2014 14:58:09 GMT -5
I don't think anyone thinks it's ok for the boss to yell, but most people are not in the position where they can simply quit their job and walk away.
Makes it harder to get your next job, too, if you admit in your interview that you walked out because your boss had a melt down.
Some businesses are always high stress; some businesses can sometimes be high stress, like during an audit. Some people handle stress very well, and others respond by screaming or crying or turning on their employees.
I worked for a screamer for 5 years because that's how long it took me to find a better job. Other people at that company filed complaints to HR, to absolutely no effect - the screamer felt he was simply being a good manager and that the complainers were being 'hysterical.' Personally, I couldn't afford to just walk out on my job because the boss was an ass, but I was very happy when I finally did get to leave.
|
|
whoisjohngalt
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 14:12:07 GMT -5
Posts: 9,140
|
Post by whoisjohngalt on Apr 23, 2014 15:08:37 GMT -5
I know I am in a minority on this one, but when I had one boss yell at me, I just really REALLY didn't care. A few people came up to me and asked me if I am going to report her to HR and when I said "no", they were acting like I committed some mortal sin - you know, she'll do it to someone else and I need to stand up for myself, blah blah blah. I just rolled my eyes and said that I don't take crap like that personally.
There are so many bosses and/co-workers out there who are moody and rude and stupid and lazy- if I ever tried to find a job with a perfect "cast", I would have never worked.
I leaned a long time ago - be great at your job, avoid gossip and personalities issues and you'll be golden.
|
|
michelyn8
Familiar Member
Joined: Jul 25, 2012 6:48:24 GMT -5
Posts: 926
|
Post by michelyn8 on Apr 23, 2014 15:19:02 GMT -5
I don't think anyone thinks it's ok for the boss to yell, but most people are not in the position where they can simply quit their job and walk away. Makes it harder to get your next job, too, if you admit in your interview that you walked out because your boss had a melt down. Some businesses are always high stress; some businesses can sometimes be high stress, like during an audit. Some people handle stress very well, and others respond by screaming or crying or turning on their employees. I worked for a screamer for 5 years because that's how long it took me to find a better job. Other people at that company filed complaints to HR, to absolutely no effect - the screamer felt he was simply being a good manager and that the complainers were being 'hysterical.' Personally, I couldn't afford to just walk out on my job because the boss was an ass, but I was very happy when I finally did get to leave. I'm not able to just up and quit either, not by a long shot. I guess I can get away with my standard on this because of the way I carry myself. I know I do my job well but I also know I'm not irreplaceable. Stressful situations do not give a boss the right to yell at their employees. They wouldn't tolerate a stressed employee yelling at them, would they? Its a two way street of common courtesy and respect and in my view a boss who can't control their emotions when dealing with employees in these situation probably shouldn't be managing others. Those that put up with these behaviors just reinforce the behavior IMO.
|
|
NomoreDramaQ1015
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 48,085
|
Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Apr 23, 2014 15:25:24 GMT -5
I don't think yelling is acceptable but we are talking about the boss' boss and Ava is "new". I don't know if I'd make this my hill to die on if I couldn't afford to quit.
If I was more senior and had built up some clout I might address it, but as the new person it's a lot easier to label me a "problem" and bring in a new body. The boss' boss is not going to have an epiphany, tell me I am right and promise to never yell again.
|
|