update on: DS wedding

[Ombud]

He wants to minimize cost but maximize enjoyment. So I'm going to be doing the food for the wedding which is in a state park. Here's the menu for 200, please give me your input:

BBQGrilled Chicken
BBQGrilled Tri tip
Vegan shishkababs
Orzo salad
Dolmas
Spinach salad with raspberry vinaigrette
Fruit platter
Veggie platter
Pita

Merlot / Chardonnay / Rose and he wants a beer bar

table decorations are multi-colored runners on white tablecloths with those little potted tea roses from Trader Joes

[Deleted]

I'd outsource some of it, which is not the same thing as having it catered.  But if you have a good bbq place, you might check their prices for the chicken and beef. 

I remember cutting up carrot sticks for sister's wedding 35+ years ago.  You really can minimize the cost, but I'd figure out the best way.  I wouldn't do it all myself.

[Sunnyday]

Do you want any and all input? Or just nice ones? Because I can offer both.

Nice one: I think the menu is appropriate for what sounds like a picnic in the park wedding.

My opinion: I would hope that you make it clear in your invitation how casual it is, so people don't overdress. I like weddings to be special. because it is special, you don't get married every day! I would want my guests to pull out their finest (whatever that might be) and have it special for my guests and the honorees.

Unless,it's some kick crazy state park or you're going to have a special theme or something, it doesn't sound like much, but if that's the goal for it to low-key, I think that it's okay. It's just as a guest who may have to make an effort to be there, like take a day off or buy airplane tickets, it would be nice if the day was special for everyone.

But since this is YM, mints and nuts are just fine in the church basement or at JP. And make sure to spend no more than $100 for the wedding bands and nuts. You can also get your mints from restaurants cashier registers to save money. [just kidding! ;-)]

[Ombud]

He got a little engagement ring for her -- maybe only 1.5 carats.

I've done plenty of Bas Mitzvahs luncheons for 200+ but weddings ARE different. I was thrown with the bbq pit. No rubbery meat or bbq sauce on meat

[Sunnyday]

Apr 20, 2014 17:54:18 GMT -5 Ombud said:

He got a little engagement ring for her -- maybe only 1.5 carats.

I've done plenty of Bas Mitzvahs luncheons for 200+ but weddings ARE different. I was thrown with the bbq pit. No rubbery meat or bbq sauce on meat

[br

What ?!!' Only 1.5 karat???

Holy crap-o-la! I think he should have spend less on the ring and more on making the memories!

[Ombud]

Well. They are saving for the honeymoon in Hawaii and he doesn't want to sell his townhouse (2 bed + 2bath) but wants a house. He's very outdoorsy. So's she. And there will still be a dance floor brought out

I'm planning on a server crew of 4 (it's a buffet). Will that be enough? 1- wine table, 2- line waiters, 1- manning grill. Don't need to wash the plates or set up tables / chairs. Supply house doing that

[Sunnyday]

I'm thinking that 4 people is kind of low for 200 people even if it's a buffet. But if the caterer thinks that it's okay, they probably would know better since they do that kind of thing professionally.

I also would like to see desserts too. Not everyone likes cake! I have a sweet tooth, and I would see a wedding as an opportunity to indulge a little. Seeing just a fruit platter would make me a little sad.

And if the party goes late into the night, it's nice when they bring out sandwiches and chips. I mean if dinner is like at 7-8 pm, and you have people living it up on the dance floor, around midnight, you get pretty hungry!

And it it's outdoors, what do you do about the insects? or is it inside in a facility in a state park?

[zibazinski]

The idea of bar b que anything on my nice clothes would make me sad.

[Ombud]

Gotcha: more desserts. Maybe mini cupcakes?? Wedding is at 2 so hors d'oeuvres before dinner or mini sandwiches after? Unfortunately 1 of the standard crew is off due to surgery so we might be 1 short

[Ombud]

Apr 20, 2014 18:16:10 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

The idea of bar b que anything on my nice clothes would make me sad.

BBQ doesn't mean with sauce. I mean just on the outdoor grill

[Deleted]

You are starting to sound like this is catered instead of " So I'm going to be doing the food for the wedding which is in a state park."  You've got servers, you've someone manning the bbq pit.

I honestly don't see this as any different than any other catered wedding.  The menu is different, but that's about it.  You even have a wine station with a server.

What was the question again  Oh, wait.  I reread your post.  There is no question.  You are just sharing.

[zibazinski]

Oh, whew! Love food cooked on a grill.

[Deleted]

Pictures after the ceremony? = hors d'oeuvres

[whoisjohngalt]

Nice menu for a picnic.  Wedding?  Well, I am one of "those" who think weddings should be a nice sit down lunch/dinner thing where food is made by people who are not part of the festivities and is the whole thing is done inside.

Please don't all start telling me all your wonderful beach/forest/state park/desert wedding stories.  I am sure they were all amazing and magical and all that.

*I* would never trust a wedding to be outdoors - too unpredictable - weather, bugs, etc etc etc.

*I* would never want anyone who I want by my side/invited to the wedding  to be making food, arranging flowers, being responsible for music or pictures or anything else. 

I don't think weddings need to be grand, they can be simple and tasteful, yet without the "do it yourself" element

[milee]

Apr 20, 2014 17:29:27 GMT -5 Ombud said:

He wants to minimize cost but maximize enjoyment. So I'm going to be doing the food for the wedding which is in a state park. Here's the menu for 200, please give me your input:

BBQ Chicken
BBQ Beef
Vegan shishkababs
Orzo salad
Dolmas
Spinach salad with raspberry vinaigrette
Fruit platter
Veggie platter
Pita

Merlot / Chardonnay / Rose and he wants a beer bar

table decorations are multi-colored runners on white tablecloths with those little potted tea roses from Trader Joes

IMHO an outdoor, casual wedding for an outdoorsy couple is no less special than a formal dinner for people wearing formal wear. Either can be special.  What you've proposed would be special and nice. 

My ideas:

-  The state park setting sounds interesting, so I'd probably ditch any references to normal weddings and go outdoor touches all the way.   Simple settings with rustic touches, not trying to recreate a formal banquet look.

-  For table decorations, I'd go for something special that could be found or made from the local surroundings - obviously not breaking any park rules - or some outdoor area that had meaning to them instead of the more traditional look of runners and potted tea roses.  If they want to make them in advance, they could dry wildflowers, which are starting to bloom now depending on your area, or start looking around outside for ideas on what makes them love the area so much and incorporate that.

-  For food, if they've picked all those choices because they have meaning or are favorites - keep them.  If they are just trying to assemble a varied menu, some of the choices seem a little discordant, like BBQ with Dolmas.  Maybe they could pick their favorite off the menu and try to build the rest to fit that favorite.  For example, if they both like BBQ, have BBQ chicken.  At the beginning of the buffet, offer huge, pillowy baked potatoes with a row of generous fixins' - including BBQ chicken.  The vegetarians/vegans will have an option, most people will just take a little BBQ chicken to top the potato along with the other toppings and the true meat lovers can ignore everything else an pile up the chicken.  Makes everyone happy and saves some cost.  Add fragrant, freshly grilled corn, a salad and beautiful fruit display - not formal, think Cornucopia of bounty, not fussy tower - and that would be a fantastic outdoorsy menu that most everybody will like.  Less work than the proposal as well.

-  If they're trying to save money and are set on BBQ, I'd nix either the chicken or the beef since they're both BBQ and just offer one of those.  

-  Love the idea of serving wine and beer, but a formal "bar" might look out of place in the setting.  To go with the BBQ and outdoor theme, if it's not too much more expensive to get the bottled beer, I'd set out large tubs of ice containing the bottles of beer and just keep refilling the tubs.  Place a bottle of each kind of wine on each table and you'd be set with the wine. 

-  If he doesn't like the idea of the tubs, talk to a local craft brewer to see if they'll come and set up a tasting station with flights of their beers out of kegs.  Might cost a little more than a keg of standard beer, but having the brewer there would be fun and add to the idea that this is a fun, hand-crafted, unique event. 

[Deleted]

I think the menu is fine. I think you will have no fun at all and a lot if stress if you do it yourself. Can you afford outsourcing/more help?

[milee]

Apr 20, 2014 18:21:10 GMT -5 Ombud said:

Apr 20, 2014 18:16:10 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

The idea of bar b que anything on my nice clothes would make me sad.

BBQ doesn't mean with sauce. I mean just on the outdoor grill

Not sure what this means, but if it's a random guy putting hunks of chicken and beef on a grill, that sounds like a recipe for bad food.  Even experienced cooks struggle to cook large quantities of food on an outdoor grill, since grills don't always heat evenly and have hot/cold spots. 

If the plan is just hunks of meat cooked on a grill, IMHO many of your guests will be eating undercooked meat or chewy shoe leather. 

Zib's right that most people won't want to spill BBQ sauce on their nice clothes, so BBQ isn't always a popular choice, but at least it could be precooked so you have some quality control.  Maybe a third option - such as precooked strips of marinated lemon herb chicken - that could just be warmed on the grill would be something to think about.  But you'd have to be careful.  Marinating will help prevent shoe leather, but isn't foolproof.

[Deleted]

BBQ can mean slow cooked in a pit... But not necessarily with sauce. Some would argue that true BBQ has no sauce. 

[milee]

Apr 20, 2014 18:40:35 GMT -5 oped said:

BBQ can mean slow cooked in a pit... But not necessarily with sauce. Some would argue that true BBQ has no sauce. 

Agree BBQ can be cooked in a pit and doesn't necessarily have sauce.

At one of our local clubs, we often have cookouts where meat is grilled for large groups. It's not a quick process and frankly, the results are usually pretty poor quality, even when the professional chefs do it. When the volunteers or nonprofessional chefs do it, the results often border on inedible. And did I mention how slow it is?  Unless you have a line of grills, trying to grill pieces of meat to serve 200 people is going to be incredibly slow, resulting in either a huge long line of hungry guests or chaos while people wait around trying to pounce each time a few more pieces come out.

[Deleted]

Oh, I see it says grill now. I agree grilling for 200 would be problematic. 

[Ombud]

Loving the input


DS wants traditional Israeli food (actual wants chicken / falafel / tzdiki / chopped lettuce included for the pita). She says her family won't understand it.

[Deleted]

Oy vey... Are they doing premarital counseling by any chance?

[milee]

Pita is pretty universally understood, even if some people won't understand what some of the fillings are.   All this is assuming this is a casual wedding and people aren't out there in their formal wear.  Nobody wants to eat a stuffed pita while wearing clothes that need to be dry cleaned.  So my suggestions are assuming this is a casual venue with casually dressed people.  If that's not the case, let us know and we can probably offer more appropriate suggestions.

OK, to keep it relatively simple yet give everybody a bit of something they love, how about this:

-  Nix the idea of grilling meat or even veggie kabobs at the site - the grill will only be used to warm the food that has been precooked, spreading the nice smells of the food without depending on the grill for actually cooking it through.  

-  Stuffing a pita with yummy fillings is the main dish.

-  At the start of the line, offer the fresh pitas.  If you put them in the front, even the uninitiated will get the clue that you're supposed to put things in there.

-  Follow the pita with a platter of chicken shawarma - easy to precook, keeps well and smells fantastic even to people who might not know what it is.  For the fiancée, just call it "herb marinated chicken", which is true and appealing to any Shiksa.

-  Also set out homemade tzatziki, hummus, grilled veggies such as onions and zucchini, chopped fresh veggies like cucumber, tomato and red onion and small bowls of chopped fresh herbs. 

-  All the serving bowls should be rustic, handmade if possible or unique to go with the outdoor flavor.  Not big, metal, industrial tubs or formal chafing dishes.  The idea is you're offering fresh, handcrafted food with meaning, not replicating a school cafeteria or trying to pretend you're a banquet hall.  Think outdoor gathering of a large family on their terrace.

-  Complement with a fresh salad and a big cornucopia type bounty of fruit and it would be gorgeous. 

Save the dolmas and falafel for appetizers or snacks since they're hand held and are good at room temp.  But also offer appetizers that will be familiar to her family.  Simple things like nut blends would be nice outdoors.

 

[Ombud]

you're a genius! I never thought of cooking the meat ahead of time and warming up there. I'm a little concerned that it would dry out but I guess I could work around preventing that. It would be a lot easier in the commercial kitchen then outside on the grill I'm not used to.

I worked with this crew for 5 years straight and they know what my standards are so I'm very comfortable with them

[GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl]

I recommend that you hire Milee to do the catering.

She shares your vision, has great ideas to help bring that vision to reality, and then you
can relax and be the fun, gracious FOG who mingles all afternoon with the guests.

:-)

[milee]

I'm not Jewish, so please understand this is meant to be helpful and not at all disrespectful, even unintentionally.

But I've always thought my friends' hand woven prayer shawls were incredibly beautiful. Can you use a bunch of cloths that look like the simple, beautiful woven prayer cloths as a drape to decorate the tables and also to drape over and around the food? They shouldn't be the same, but all different and special.  Again, if that's disrespectful, I'm sorry, please ignore.

But if it's OK or you can think of something similar, fold one cloth in half to make a triangle and put that across each table.  Roll the cloths and place them in between the serving bowls so the bowls look nestled in the cloth, not just bare and alone on the table.  And as a bonus, if bugs do start to gather, you can drape a corner of the cloth over the plates of food.  

[Ombud]

It's in Walnut Creek -- bugs aren't an issue. Will look into extra fabric (just not tallits)

[Deleted]

Apr 20, 2014 19:26:13 GMT -5 Ombud said:

you're a genius! I never thought of cooking the meat ahead of time and warming up there. I'm a little concerned that it would dry out but I guess I could work around preventing that. It would be a lot easier in the commercial kitchen then outside on the grill I'm not used to.

I worked with this crew for 5 years straight and they know what my standards are so I'm very comfortable with them

unless you thoroughly cook it beforehand it's a recipe for food poisoning and reheating is not going to taste great.  Seriously, why would you subject yourself to cooking for 200 people.  Outsource it.  If the bride and groom can't afford it, then they need to invite less people or serve less food.  I couldn't imagine asking someone to cook on my wedding day that wasn't someone who was hired for the occasion.

[Ombud]

I volunteered as the going rate is $20pp not counting servers and those run $27 per hour + tips. Guess I could call Kinders.

We had 120 in the backyard with chicken & tri tip but that was on a home bbq

[Deleted]

Apr 20, 2014 18:55:11 GMT -5 Ombud said:

Loving the input


DS wants traditional Israeli food (actual wants chicken / falafel / tzdiki / chopped lettuce included for the pita). She says her family won't understand it.

well it doesn't hurt for people to step outside of their box.....I think this would be yummy!