zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Apr 19, 2014 11:56:50 GMT -5
There are tops you can wear that are sleeveless and short sleeved that don't show cleavage.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Apr 19, 2014 12:07:15 GMT -5
Jammies are fine. Schools have pajama days all the time. It's the moms who don't meet the cleavage part of the dress code or wear Daisy Dukes who need a dress code. Hey, if your daughter can't wear it to school, why do you think you can? my daughter has been continually harassed about "cleavage" from the school. She can barely fit into a DD bra, and anatomically - we have very high set boobs in our family. She would have about 3-4" of "cleavage" in this tshirt - without pulling it down. Her boobs start at her clavicles. She is petite, very large busted, with very high set boobs - and I am so tired of all the shit she has to put up with because "cleavage" is a dirty word. I've offered to go in and have a talking with the school about this intolerance to anatomical variations - but she doesn't want me to. Still - it really irks me that "cleavage" means your are doing something wrong. She can't live her life in turtlenecks so everyone around isn't freaking out about her boobs. It is not an attempt to be provocative - there is nothing that can cover them up outside of a turtleneck. DD also reports that relative flat chested girls wear very low cut shirts and nothing is ever said to them because the boobs are so small. Get over the cleavage people. My sister had the same issue. She always complained that the flat girls could wear tops that she'd be sent home for! I think it's easy enough to distinguish between tops that are meant to be provocative and those that aren't. She ended up wearing hoodies almost all year so the administration would leave her alone... Luckily she wears scrubs at work so no issue there. Maybe your DD could go into the medical field?
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Apr 19, 2014 13:17:09 GMT -5
I would always imagine myself looking the worse MUST get out of the car and...no, never wore pajamas to school or anything funny like curlers...
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yogiii
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Post by yogiii on Apr 19, 2014 13:18:11 GMT -5
My friend is like that too and I'm the opposite, I'll never have cleavage not matter what I do. We both wore a lot of hoodies. Luckily we didn't grow up somewhere warm.
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Apr 19, 2014 13:25:46 GMT -5
There are tops you can wear that are sleeveless and short sleeved that don't show cleavage. zib - take a look at the picture I posted. The models breasts center roughly in between the underarm and elbow. For me and dd - our breasts center about 1 inch below the underarm. DD is 5'3" and barely squeeze into DD cups. Check out the picture again. above the neckline, there is a "deposit photo" below the models' clavicles. DD has cleavage starting at that point, perhaps a bit higher. In this exact same "showing nothing" tshirt, DD has 4" of huge boobs smooshed together line of cleavage. She started talking breast reduction surgery at 15. I'm really sorry our society is so hung up on this idea of "cleavage", but if a girl is wearing a standard issue t like in the picture, cleavage/not cleavage is a byproduct of anatomical variation. And I'm tired of my DD paying the price for it. I would like to see THAT kind of cleavage. I can not seriously imagine boobs starting right where the neck is ending. Will google.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Apr 19, 2014 14:07:46 GMT -5
I had one friend whose boobs were huge. She hunched over, poor thing because she was also very tall. The nice thing about it was that she became proportionate with age. But middle school was hell for her. I have a shirt friend with huge boobs. Ill ask her what she does. Probably not try to follow fashion.
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
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Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Apr 19, 2014 18:35:09 GMT -5
Rukh, maybe your daughter could wear a button-down shirt or blouse for school.
It would be cool enough for warm-temperature days, but she'd be able to button it high enough while in school to camouflage her cleavage, and not & get hassled by the school, or teased by her peers about her "girls" being on display.
I usually wear v-neck t-shirts in the summer. I also often wear an open cotton denim shirt over my T. That way, if I'm going somewhere and don't want my "girls" on display, I can button the shirt.
She'd probably be comfortable enough and with just the top button open, she'd be "modest", for lack of better words and avoid having to deal with not following the dress-code or taunts.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Apr 19, 2014 20:36:39 GMT -5
Rukh, maybe your daughter could wear a button-down shirt or blouse for school.
It would be cool enough for warm-temperature days, but she'd be able to button it high enough while in school to camouflage her cleavage, and not & get hassled by the school, or teased by her peers about her "girls" being on display.
I usually wear v-neck t-shirts in the summer. I also often wear an open cotton denim shirt over my T. That way, if I'm going somewhere and don't want my "girls" on display, I can button the shirt.
She'd probably be comfortable enough and with just the top button open, she'd be "modest", for lack of better words and avoid having to deal with not following the dress-code or taunts. She's 17, not 57.
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wmpeon
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Post by wmpeon on Apr 20, 2014 0:50:11 GMT -5
Rukh, maybe your daughter could wear a button-down shirt or blouse for school.
Except button-down shirts aren't exactly made for well-endowed ladies. Either you go with a much larger size to accommodate the "girls", or you risk popping a few buttons that are stretched over the chest.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Apr 20, 2014 6:22:57 GMT -5
If you listen to "what not to wear" you get things tailored if your body doesn't fit the norm. She can't be the only large breasted short girl in town or even at that school. What do they wear and where do they shop.?
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milee
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Post by milee on Apr 20, 2014 6:54:56 GMT -5
She can't be the only large breasted short girl in town or even at that school. What do they wear and where do they shop.? Of course my first reaction was - yeah, she should google that and see what the others do.... and then realized that the results of that particular google search would probably not be helpful.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 20, 2014 7:47:39 GMT -5
what about if she wears a cami or tank top under her other tops? that would give a little more coverage hopefully....
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yogiii
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Post by yogiii on Apr 20, 2014 9:01:28 GMT -5
what about if she wears a cami or tank top under her other tops? that would give a little more coverage hopefully.... Not really, every cami or tank I've ever seen is low cut across the whole chest. If her cleavage starts at her neck it seems like one of the only types of tops she can wear is a classic ringer or boat neck.
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weltschmerz
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Post by weltschmerz on Apr 22, 2014 11:37:03 GMT -5
I wouldn't be caught dead outside in pyjamas, curlers or a housecoat. Ever.
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michelyn8
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Post by michelyn8 on Apr 22, 2014 12:49:50 GMT -5
There was an episode of "good luck Charlie" where the father came in wearing Jammies and he then had to fight the school to be allowed to do it every morning. I say let them wear Jammies I remember that episode and thought of it as soon as I read the first post. The kicker to that though was he went through the whole dress code and tried a different outrageous outfit everyday that actually did fit within their guidelines. Just the kind of thing I'd do. Of course, I am one that would look disapprovingly at someone showing up in PJ's. I don't care if they stay in the car but if you're going to get out for any reason, please put on actual clothing and not pajamas. If you project an attitude of I can do what I want/I don't care what others think of it, you're teaching your kids its ok to have that attitude. I'm not saying you have to dress to the nines just for a visit to the school but appropriate attire in certain situations doesn't take that much effort.
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truthbound
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Post by truthbound on Apr 23, 2014 2:09:23 GMT -5
They are showing up in pajamas. That's the whole reason for this.
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Ombud
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Post by Ombud on Apr 23, 2014 5:47:55 GMT -5
If you listen to "what not to wear" you get things tailored if your body doesn't fit the norm. She can't be the only large breasted short girl in town or even at that school. What do they wear and where do they shop.? I did watch it. But have you priced out getting shirts tailored? Not worth it for me (won't button unless they're way way too big .... 5'8" 34 DD 143 lbs) and certainly not do-able for a teen who probably wants a whole closet full of the latest fad (like every other teen). My only suggestion - crew neck tees which might not look like crew neck on her body type
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 23, 2014 5:57:47 GMT -5
I was just reading the other day about a young person who started a line or bras when she took her younger sister shopping and couldn't find anything non sexy/non granny for a 12 year old to wear.. Maybe larger busts cami preteen/teen styles would be a niche that needs filled...
To the OP though, this example of school dress codes and expecting kids in a compulsory environment to behave in ways which adults would not choose to is one of those that points to how children are treated sometimes in ways we would not think of asking adults to behave.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Apr 23, 2014 6:09:54 GMT -5
It is what it is. Teachers and especially college ones still spout BS that parents and students are paying to listen to and we all just have to suck it up. Welcome to the world. I wonder if teachers are so insulated from the real world because their jobs are so protected that they have no clue how reality works? Yes, it does cost to have things tailored but if the choice is looking like your boobs are falling out or that you're trying to pick up men because the good LORD gave you boobies, then what's your choice?
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Apr 23, 2014 6:28:28 GMT -5
It is what it is. I didn't make the rules and if your DD is getting hassled because of what she is wearing, it DOES become her problem, whether its fair or not. If she wore a burka, she'd probably get hassled, too. It sucks that she has big boobs and is short and feels self conscious, but what are you going to do? Help her or tell her it's everyone else's fault? You can't change the world and protect her forever and not even now. So help her cope by finding her clothes that she can wear happily that cover her boobs up.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Apr 23, 2014 6:29:20 GMT -5
Maybe a different bra?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 23, 2014 6:34:29 GMT -5
The only reason she is bring made to feel self concious is because of other people's expectations/reactions... Seems to me, having to wear different clothes is what would MAKE her unhappy...
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Apr 23, 2014 7:08:40 GMT -5
This is true and very sad. But she is going to have to deal with it. Makes me realize as sad as I was to have no boobs, it could be worse. I did have a girlfriend in school who was WELL ENDOWED at an early age and she told me she always wondered if guys were asking her out because she had big boobs or not. At least I didn't have to deal with THAT. I think I'd say people are always self conscious about something with their bodies so it could be better and it could be worse. College, she should find plenty of other girls just like her and it will all be better.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Apr 23, 2014 7:09:14 GMT -5
Or you could point out women pay a lot of money to have boobs like hers! First world problems!!
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Apr 23, 2014 8:07:24 GMT -5
Like my DD!!!
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Apr 23, 2014 8:16:35 GMT -5
If your daughter is interested Rukh, this style consultant blogger is very well endowed. She has a ton of style posts on how to dress with a large bust that doesn't involve having to wear a burka or turtleneck 24/7. www.insideoutstyleblog.com/?s=large+bust
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 23, 2014 8:49:12 GMT -5
There are benefits to waiting till after you have kids to do the breast reduction thing. But honestly, it was the best thing I ever did for myself.
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973beachbum
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Post by 973beachbum on Apr 23, 2014 9:03:13 GMT -5
My Dd has the same problem as Rukh's DD but I approach it differently. I just make her try on the shirts and see where the top lands. We live at the beach so it isn't like half the students aren't changing into string bikini tops on any semi warm day, but during school they do have a pretty tight dress code. I just think it the same as I do for things like jeans or crop tops. I can wear a pair of capri pants and have them look like pants. I'm sure someone taller or with long legs would look like they were wearing shorts. But if the rules is no shorts then they can't wear them even though I can. Is it fair, maybe not, but it is the way it is. With DD I just check how it falls with the shirts on, and make sure they don't show too much cleavage for school. That does mean her tshirts would fit a smaller chested person pretty high but I never thought it mattered. All that mattered to me was how it looked on her.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 23, 2014 9:13:27 GMT -5
My obgyn finally convinced me... She said she's only ever heard two regrets from women who had a breast reduction... Why didn't i do it sooner, and why didn't I make them smaller...
Now I do have a friend who wishes, somewhat, that she had waited till after kids becuse she couldn't solely breastfeed... But never regrets for actually doing it.
Health insurance paid fir mine and most people I know who've had it done...
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973beachbum
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Post by 973beachbum on Apr 23, 2014 9:27:41 GMT -5
My Dd has the same problem as Rukh's DD but I approach it differently. I just make her try on the shirts and see where the top lands. We live at the beach so it isn't like half the students aren't changing into string bikini tops on any semi warm day, but during school they do have a pretty tight dress code. I just think it the same as I do for things like jeans or crop tops. I can wear a pair of capri pants and have them look like pants. I'm sure someone taller or with long legs would look like they were wearing shorts. But if the rules is no shorts then they can't wear them even though I can. Is it fair, maybe not, but it is the way it is. With DD I just check how it falls with the shirts on, and make sure they don't show too much cleavage for school. That does mean her tshirts would fit a smaller chested person pretty high but I never thought it mattered. All that mattered to me was how it looked on her. I let DD negotiate the situation as she saw fit. I offered to go in, but she declined and handled it however she handled it. The school has never called me about anything, so I guess she negotiated it good enough. It is the emphasis and attention on those with particular body shapes and different standards that I object to - not having a dress code. As an example, DD's friend wears these low scoop neck shirts that literally go down to the center between her boobs. But as she has tiny A's - no one notices. No one says anything. But DD wears much higher neckline and gets told to cover up. It is not the cut of the neckline, but the body type. That is what is the issue. I really don't think it is the body type. If the school doesn't want cleavage shown, and our opinions as to if this is good or bad don't count, then the shirt a girl wears has to fit that part of the dress code. That may mean one girl won't get to wear the exact tshirt another girl can wear, but the shirts they both wear should start on the same places on their bodies. Skirts are one example schools use based on the individual's body rather than a style all the time and I think it takes the emphasis away from the exact skirt. A skirt has to go at least to blank inches above the knee. So the girl with short legs can wear a skirt that is shorter than the girls who are long legged. The same as the girl who has higher cleavage can't wear the shirt that falls to low but the girls who don't can. My DD is short legged. She regularly wears skirts that would get a girl with average length legs sent to the office to change. Why is one half of this so bad but the other part okay? It really is two halfs of the same coin imo.
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