Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Mar 12, 2014 8:20:59 GMT -5
I had an interesting conversation awhile ago with some friends - we were basically debating why certain people are so miserable to be around and why (many fewer) people seem to radiate happiness.
We postulated that for a lot of people, it may be less about their specific life circumstances (although they play a part) than how they feel when they look at themselves in the morning. Are they basically happy to be who they are and satisfied with the choices they've made as that person?
Of course, one plays into the other. If your life is good, you're more likely to be satisfied with the choices you made and content with the person you are now. If your life sucks, you're probably less likely to be happy with yourself - especially if the reason your life sucks has to do with choices that you made. But I think it's possible to have a sucky life and still like yourself, just as it's possible to have a "great" life and hate yourself.
So - do you like yourself? And do you think the answer plays a part in your level of satisfaction with your life?
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swamp
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THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
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Post by swamp on Mar 12, 2014 8:21:49 GMT -5
The more I started to like myself, the better my life got.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Mar 12, 2014 8:23:39 GMT -5
So days I like myself and some days I can't stand myself. Just depends. It really isn't dependent on my circumstances. I have accomplished a lot and have a good life and family.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 12, 2014 8:25:03 GMT -5
Oh yeah! I am my biggest fan!!
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Mar 12, 2014 8:26:46 GMT -5
Some people take the self love thing a bit to excess.
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swamp
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THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
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Post by swamp on Mar 12, 2014 8:27:19 GMT -5
Some people take the self love thing a bit to excess. They're blind now.
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moon/Laura
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Post by moon/Laura on Mar 12, 2014 8:28:29 GMT -5
No, not really. I mostly view myself as a colossal failure.
sent from my Galaxy S4
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Mar 12, 2014 8:28:37 GMT -5
*snarfles at swamp* @shooby, what do you mean exactly when you say people take it to excess?
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Mar 12, 2014 8:29:29 GMT -5
No, not really. I mostly view myself as a colossal failure. sent from my Galaxy S4 Why?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 12, 2014 8:29:42 GMT -5
Some people take the self love thing a bit to excess. Kanye, right?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 12, 2014 8:30:10 GMT -5
*snarfles at swamp* @shooby, what do you mean exactly when you say people take it to excess? Narcissistic, self-indulgent assholes I'm assuming. "It's all about me, me, ME!"
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 12, 2014 8:30:37 GMT -5
I wish I was a better person, but I am who I am.
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sarcasticgirl
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Post by sarcasticgirl on Mar 12, 2014 8:32:58 GMT -5
I think I am pretty awesome, and I am pretty darn satisfied with my life and all the things I've done.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 12, 2014 8:33:31 GMT -5
I have a love/hate relationship with myself. Some things I like, some, not so much.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 12, 2014 8:33:46 GMT -5
Aww....moon. I am sorry you feel that way. No one should feel like a failure ever! “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”
As long as you're doing what you think is best at the time there is no reason to question or feel guilty over your decisions.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 12, 2014 8:34:20 GMT -5
*snarfles at swamp* @shooby, what do you mean exactly when you say people take it to excess? Narcissistic, self-indulgent assholes I'm assuming. "It's all about me, me, ME!" Yup. DEFINITELY Kanye.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Mar 12, 2014 8:34:41 GMT -5
I'd say it depends? I tend to suffer from "imposter syndrome" which means I am convinced that I'm a fake but really good at hiding it. I fear one day someone will discover I'm a fake and my world will implode. I have a hard time accepting praise from people b/c I am convinced I don't deserve it. I know it's illogical and I do work on combating it, but it's a part of my psyche that will never go completely away. Sometimes I am not too thrilled with myself for choosing academia but I couldn't have predicted when I started college that academic research would start to fall apart, especially in terms of funding. I also couldn't have predicted I'd do a 180 on becoming a professor. I am REALLY glad I decided to stop and work as a technician first as opposed to going straight into my PhD. Also not entirely thrilled with my student loan albatross hanging around my neck but it is what it is. I don't regret how I obtained it, I just hate that I have another 13 years to go before it's gone. I got a pretty good life going on despite of the things I sorta regret in hindsight. I have a great job, great bosses and work for a really good company. I have a loving husband and an awesome kid with another one on the way. I remind myself that every decision I made in life lead me to DH and Gwen, so they can't be that bad.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Mar 12, 2014 8:36:49 GMT -5
I like myself but I'm starting to feel like any decision I make will be the wrong one and that sucks.
Sent from my ADR6410LVW using proboards
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 12, 2014 8:39:14 GMT -5
I like myself but I'm starting to feel like any decision I make will be the wrong one and that sucks. Sent from my ADR6410LVW using proboards That's me too. I really think I need to carefully think things through before making a decision, and then do the OPPOSITE of what I came up with!
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Mar 12, 2014 8:45:35 GMT -5
Aww....moon. I am sorry you feel that way. No one should feel like a failure ever! “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”
As long as you're doing what you think is best at the time there is no reason to question or feel guilty over your decisions.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Mar 12, 2014 8:51:24 GMT -5
I've spent a large part of my twenties attempting to become a person that I would want to be around, and I think it's paid off. At the very least, I'm a much better person than the miserable creature I was in my late teens / early twenties.
But while I'm reasonably satisfied with the person I am now and about 95% of the choices I've made since age 20 or so, the only one I question with frequency is whether it was right for me to become a mother - and as choices go, that's pretty much the big one. I'm hoping those thoughts will taper off as Babybird gets older because I could tolerate becoming almost anything other than a bad mother.
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sheilaincali
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Post by sheilaincali on Mar 12, 2014 8:51:37 GMT -5
The more I started to like myself, the better my life got.
I'm getting to the point in which I do like myself. The more I've started liking myself the more my life has really improved. The more comfortable I am in my own skin the more other people seem to respond to it. Not in a dirty way (I know how you people think). But in general- Liking myself has improved my overall attitude which people seem to respond positively too. It's like they can sense that I am happy and it levels them out and helps them be happier.
I'm sure I'm not explaining it right.
I am at a state of calm and level contentment. There are additional improvements I could make but I am working on them now. But by a large I do like myself way more now than I did even a year or so ago.
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Mar 12, 2014 8:51:56 GMT -5
It seems like a strange question to me. I don't hate myself. There are several things about me that I wish were different, like I wish I had more energy and self discipline, but what can you do? Some things are just always going to be a struggle. I think everyone probably has their own things that are struggles for them. Ya just gotta keep on truckin' on.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Mar 12, 2014 8:52:07 GMT -5
Part of me wishes I was a little more like my best friend - it's nearly impossible to be unhappy around her because she projects a truly positive energy. It's amazing how much people respond to it - and it's not like she goes around with a big annoying grin all the time. She's just a truly happy person, and she's never been one to let life circumstances bring her down. Even when we were in high school and she did NOT have a happy home life by any stretch of the imagination, she was still that same happy person. It's just a natural part of her and I'm jealous of that quality. ETA - sheilaincali, I know exactly what you mean. We posted at the same time
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Mar 12, 2014 8:54:28 GMT -5
I spent too much time in my life trying to be what I thought others wanted me to be. And, I spent too much time investing my time, energy and heart into people who really don't give a damn about me. I decided I would rather be disliked for who I really am than liked for who I am not. And, now I allow myself to be myself. And, I feel much more at ease with myself and who I am. I think part of this was that I really admired my mom's warm, exuberant personality. She made everyone feel at ease. She was fun and joyful and warm and sweet. I always wished I could be like her in that way. I admire the fun extroverts of the world. But, that isn't who I am. I am a very clinical personality with a dry, sarcastic humor. Some people think I am quite funny and I am sure people can't stand me. But that is OK too.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Mar 12, 2014 8:58:54 GMT -5
Well, I think there is a difference between aiming to be a person you like and aiming to be a person that other people like - or more specifically, trying to change your personality so other people will like you better. There's definitely something to be said for accepting your basic personality kit for what it is and learning to like it.
That being said, we're social animals so of course how others think of us is going to play into our own perceptions. It would be hard for most people to like themselves if they knew they were the kind of person everyone hated to be around, and I think that was a huge part of why I didn't like myself earlier in life.
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InsertCoolName
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Post by InsertCoolName on Mar 12, 2014 9:00:17 GMT -5
Mostly. Still room for improvement though.
As far as being happy, I'm still sad. But I love to laugh and smile and joke. So I try to choose joy over sadness. I've many things to be joyful and thankful for.
I've had to deal with some sucky heartbreaking things, but I don't believe my life sucks. It's been worse than some, better than most.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Mar 12, 2014 9:01:58 GMT -5
Well, I am a pretty intense person. I am dog with a bone personality tenacious type. And, that has served me very well in terms of my career and life. And, I really didn't understand when I was younger that SOME people really do not ponder why they exist or want to wrestle with the philosophical questions of life. Some people merely want to discuss what happened on the Bachelor. So, I have learned to accept that reality and understand the most conversations IRL are better kept lighter. I can do my "deep thinking" on message boards.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Mar 12, 2014 9:05:22 GMT -5
I have periodic spells of melancholy. And, I have learned to accept that as part of my being. It is what it is. And, when I do, I just try not to be around other people. I used to think that "being happy" meant you would never feel those feelings. Well, I found out for me, that is not true. I can accept that part of myself. And, then get up and dust myself off and keep going. And, I found that real happiness comes from serving others and doing your "duty" to your family, your employer, the world, etc.
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Bob Ross
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Post by Bob Ross on Mar 12, 2014 9:07:27 GMT -5
I like myself okay, although I'm also pretty hard on myself. For instance, the fact that I'm not ruling over you all with an iron fist from the top of a dark tower sometimes gets me down. Oh well. I guess there's always next year.
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