A Random "financial" Blogger's Rules to live by.

[swamp]

1. Do less homework.
 
2. Get plastic surgery.

3. Go to business school right out of the gate.
 
On top of that, you are more likely to marry well. Men like women who are smart but not making more than they are. (I do not have a link for this. I have instinct.)

4. Start early looking for a husband seriously.

5. Milk maternity leave for all it’s worth.
 
6. Guard your marriage obsessively.

7. Practice austerity.
 
8. Do a startup with a guy.
 
9. If you can’t get men to do a startup with you, do a lifestyle business.
 
10. Homeschool. Your kids will be screwed if you don’t.
 

11. Spend money on household help and Botox to keep more doors open longer.
 
12. Break the mold in your 40s.
And, if you are in your 40s and reading this, take solace in the fact that by the time women are in their 40s they are great in bed, so if you do nothing else, figure out how to have a lot of sex to leverage your hard-earned talent.

Discuss.

I'm particularly intrigued by the "guard yoru marriage" and have lots of sex.  Because my husband might get a bit peeved if I'm having lots of sex with other people.  Having lots of sex with him won't do anything for my career.

[swamp]

Mar 6, 2014 12:23:17 GMT -5 @tbird said:

you have upper her klout again! This will be googlable!!!!

.

[Deleted]

Just change the title to "she who is not doxie" 

[swamp]

Better?

[milee]

Agree with all except #10 and part of #9.

[alabamagal]

2. Plastic Surgery

7. Practice Austerity

Seems to be opposite philosophy there.

[whoisjohngalt]

I stopped reading after "get plastic surgery"

So, yes, I agree, let's do less homework!

[midjd]

5. Milk maternity leave for all it’s worth.

This one and the several paragraphs following seriously pissed me off. (for those who don't want to up her Klout score, she said that before going on leave, you should find the easiest and most mindless job you can, take as much time off as you can, and then upon your return, position yourself so that it is impossible for them to fire you. Because the first year is the most important in a baby's life and you can't be focused on work at all, so you should do as crappy a job as possible and focus only on your family instead.)

OK, I can get behind the "take as much time as you can" and "family is important" - but advising women to PURPOSELY do a shitty job at work because they can't fire you?!

That sort of thinking seriously hurts those of us who did/do everything in our power to make the transition EASIER for our employers. It makes hiring managers look at all women between the ages of 20 and 45 as walking maternity bombs. It is harmful and selfish and a bunch of other words I probably can't use on ProBoards.

[swamp]

Mar 6, 2014 12:46:10 GMT -5 milee said:

Agree with all except #10 and part of #9.

Actually, i agree with some of her premises, but if you read her reasoning, she appears to be stuck somewhere around 1952.

I refuse to link the article, though, because I'm not upping her Klout.

[milee]

Mar 6, 2014 12:52:27 GMT -5 swamp said:

Mar 6, 2014 12:46:10 GMT -5 milee said:

Agree with all except #10 and part of #9.

Actually, i agree with some of her premises, but if you read her reasoning, she appears to be stuck somewhere around 1952.

I refuse to link the article, though, because I'm not upping her Klout.

Understand, but there are things that are not PC and that you wouldn't want to force on someone, but that still aren't bad ideas to make the choice to use personally.

It's one thing to say "women over 40 are hags and they should all get Botox so their wrinkled faces don't force their husbands to cheat" (obviously not OK)... and another to make a personal choice that you as a woman over 40 would like to get Botox because you like how it makes you look and also that you feel it helps your career. 

Similar to how my friend (who is a Princeton grad married to another Princeton grad) and I were talking about that controversial article recommending Princeton women to seriously look for a husband in college.  People hated it because it wasn't PC and seemed unfeminist.  I thought from an objective and statistical standpoint, the author had some reasonable points and that it was more about understanding reality (if you want something it's best to look for it in a target rich environment) and making choices that work best for you, not being forced into something. 

[Sam_2.0]

Are we talking about the same financial guru from yesterday? I need to keep up better, I am lost on this one.

[swamp]

Mar 6, 2014 13:03:22 GMT -5 milee said:

Mar 6, 2014 12:52:27 GMT -5 swamp said:

Actually, i agree with some of her premises, but if you read her reasoning, she appears to be stuck somewhere around 1952.

I refuse to link the article, though, because I'm not upping her Klout.

Understand, but there are things that are not PC and that you wouldn't want to force on someone, but that still aren't bad ideas to make the choice to use personally.

It's one thing to say "women over 40 are hags and they should all get Botox so their wrinkled faces don't force their husbands to cheat" (obviously not OK)... and another to make a personal choice that you as a woman over 40 would like to get Botox because you like how it makes you look and also that you feel it helps your career. 

Similar to how my friend (who is a Princeton grad married to another Princeton grad) and I were talking about that controversial article recommending Princeton women to seriously look for a husband in college.  People hated it because it wasn't PC and seemed unfeminist.  I thought from an objective and statistical standpoint, the author had some reasonable points and that it was more about understanding reality (if you want something it's best to look for it in a target rich environment) and making choices that work best for you, not being forced into something. 

If that's what you want for a Target.

My husband isn't as educated as me, nor does he make as much.  That's OK.

And I'm a wrinkled hag, and that's OK too.

[midjd]

Milee, you agree with this?

5. Milk maternity leave for all it’s worth.
Maternity leave is a complicated political issue, but whatever: For now, it’s your right, so just take what’s yours. Use all your maternity leave, and then make it very difficult to fire you when you return. Start a year before you want to get pregnant, by getting a job at a company that legally must give you maternity leave. I’m not saying you HAVE to take maternity leave, but if you don’t have any, you can’t decide to take it. Position yourself at that company in a job you can do with your eyes closed, in case you want to go back after maternity leave and work. Because if you are taking care of a newborn baby and working full-time, you’ll be doing everything with your eyes closed.

There is an incredible amount of research to show that there should be a single, primary caregiver for the first year. I know that’s not good for feminism. But none of this post is. So look, unless your husband is taking a year off, you’re better off spending most of your time on your kid and not your job. The way to do that is to take all the maternity leave you can and then keep pushing for people to let you keep your job even if you’re not really doing it. Make them fire you. It’ll take their legal department a long time to give permission for that, and you can be collecting a paycheck the whole time. The extra cash can fund the rest of your transition.

Or this?

We have decades of great data (read Judith Wallerstein) to show that divorce permanently ruins the kids. Yes, it’s true, divorce makes life better for the parents. But kids don’t care. They don’t notice. Kids notice if two parents are paying attention to them, and that is one of the first things to go in a divorce. If you love your kids, you stay married to their parent.

This means that the wife needs to just bite the bullet and maintain the marriage. Stay-at-home spouses keep marriages together more effectively. I know: this is not popular, and not fair, but you do not need to make a crusade out of your family by showing that you can get a divorce and not fuck up your kids. So just bite the bullet and make sure you are keeping your husband happy so your kids can grow up with two parents.

[milee]

Mar 6, 2014 13:06:25 GMT -5 swamp said:

Mar 6, 2014 13:03:22 GMT -5 milee said:

Understand, but there are things that are not PC and that you wouldn't want to force on someone, but that still aren't bad ideas to make the choice to use personally.

It's one thing to say "women over 40 are hags and they should all get Botox so their wrinkled faces don't force their husbands to cheat" (obviously not OK)... and another to make a personal choice that you as a woman over 40 would like to get Botox because you like how it makes you look and also that you feel it helps your career. 

Similar to how my friend (who is a Princeton grad married to another Princeton grad) and I were talking about that controversial article recommending Princeton women to seriously look for a husband in college.  People hated it because it wasn't PC and seemed unfeminist.  I thought from an objective and statistical standpoint, the author had some reasonable points and that it was more about understanding reality (if you want something it's best to look for it in a target rich environment) and making choices that work best for you, not being forced into something. 

If that's what you want for a Target.

My husband isn't as educated as me, nor does he make as much.  That's OK.

And I'm a wrinkled hag, and that's OK too.

I don't agree or disagree with her approach or yours.  I'm pointing out that your approach is OK and so is hers because they make sense for you as individuals. 

Maybe I misread or am missing something here, but I didn't read the OP as saying that these are things that all women must do, should do or are crazy not to do so we should agree that these are right for everybody or not.  I read it as saying that these are helpful hints that she lives by and even though they're not conventional, if you want a certain result, they may help you get that result.  I answered that yes, most of them seem applicable and things that would get a result that I personally would like... not that they should be required for everybody.  Am I misunderstanding the question?

[milee]

Mar 6, 2014 13:10:20 GMT -5 midjd said:

Milee, you agree with this?

Or this?

Not sure why the quotes aren't working, but there is quite a bit in there that I wouldn't agree with. Where are you reading this? It wasn't part of the OP.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

At face value the list isn't so bad, but when you read her logic behind it you realize the blogger is bat shit crazy.

Milee it's the same blogger that gives you 13 ways to handle debt, the full blog Swamp is referencing is in there too.

She's got the maternity leave thing all screwed up.   Absolutely they can fire you when you come back from leave and they can fire you while you're pregnant if they have cause.   Good luck proving it was discrimination after you've been purposefully screwing up.

FMLA just means A job is held open for you for 12 weeks, technically it doesn't even have to be your current job.  If they have cause/reason to eliminate your job and there is no equivalent in the business you can be let go.

FMLA is a good thing and I'll take the leave I am entitled to, but you really need to read the policy before deciding you're "untouchable".

I REALLY hope working women are not following this crack pot's advice.  They're going to be in for one hell of a surprise.

[midjd]

Mar 6, 2014 13:17:28 GMT -5 milee said:

Mar 6, 2014 13:10:20 GMT -5 midjd said:

Milee, you agree with this?

Not sure why the quotes aren't working, but there is quite a bit in there that I wouldn't agree with. Where are you reading this? It wasn't part of the OP.

I'll link to it (sorry, Rukh!)  It was in the other thread. I think we were refraining linking to it because the more hits she gets, the higher her Klout score goes, which increases the legitimacy of her advice.

I agree that the premises aren't all so bad, but once I started reading her reasoning, it made my blood boil.

blog.penelopetrunk.com/2011/08/16/blueprint-for-a-womans-life/

[whoisjohngalt]

Mar 6, 2014 12:52:27 GMT -5 swamp said:

Mar 6, 2014 12:46:10 GMT -5 milee said:

Agree with all except #10 and part of #9.

Actually, i agree with some of her premises, but if you read her reasoning, she appears to be stuck somewhere around 1952.

I refuse to link the article, though, because I'm not upping her Klout.

Should I be concern that I have no idea what that means?

[milee]

I didn't read the 13 ways to handle debt thread, so missed that and the details behind each of the points on this thread. So it's quite possible that - as Mid showed when she posted the details - there would be a lot within the details that I wouldn't agree with.

[Deleted]

Mar 6, 2014 13:17:28 GMT -5 milee said:

Mar 6, 2014 13:10:20 GMT -5 midjd said:

Milee, you agree with this?

Not sure why the quotes aren't working, but there is quite a bit in there that I wouldn't agree with. Where are you reading this? It wasn't part of the OP.

Screw it.  I'm going to post it, because I think full disclosure is important here.  Her article is:

blog.penelopetrunk.com/2011/08/16/blueprint-for-a-womans-life/


I'm pretty live and let live, but I think I blanched some reading her reasoning and "absolutely do this" tone.  It starts off

When I drive, I have arguments with people in my head. I think of someone who does not realize how smart I am about what I am smart about, and I go on tirades to show them how misguided they are.

And I realized one day, while I had a particularly long car ride, that I am actually feeling like I know what women should be doing with their adult life.

[Deleted]

We have decades of great data (read Judith Wallerstein) to show that divorce permanently ruins the kids. Yes, it’s true, divorce makes life better for the parents. But kids don’t care. They don’t notice. Kids notice if two parents are paying attention to them, and that is one of the first things to go in a divorce. If you love your kids, you stay married to their parent.

This means that the wife needs to just bite the bullet and maintain the marriage. Stay-at-home spouses keep marriages together more effectively. I know: this is not popular, and not fair, but you do not need to make a crusade out of your family by showing that you can get a divorce and not fuck up your kids. So just bite the bullet and make sure you are keeping your husband happy so your kids can grow up with two parents.

I'm assuming that no studies were done on how observing their parents in an unhappy, resentful marriage affected the childrens' outlook on relationships. And also, why is it up to the woman to keep the marriage together?

YOU ARE NOT IN CHARGE OF ANYONE'S HAPPINESS BUT YOUR OWN!!!! UGH UGH UGH!!!

[midjd]

Mar 6, 2014 13:33:39 GMT -5 @moneyjenny82 said:

We have decades of great data (read Judith Wallerstein) to show that divorce permanently ruins the kids. Yes, it’s true, divorce makes life better for the parents. But kids don’t care. They don’t notice. Kids notice if two parents are paying attention to them, and that is one of the first things to go in a divorce. If you love your kids, you stay married to their parent.

This means that the wife needs to just bite the bullet and maintain the marriage. Stay-at-home spouses keep marriages together more effectively. I know: this is not popular, and not fair, but you do not need to make a crusade out of your family by showing that you can get a divorce and not fuck up your kids. So just bite the bullet and make sure you are keeping your husband happy so your kids can grow up with two parents.

I'm assuming that no studies were done on how observing their parents in an unhappy, resentful marriage affected the childrens' outlook on relationships. And also, why is it up to the woman to keep the marriage together?

YOU ARE NOT IN CHARGE OF ANYONE'S HAPPINESS BUT YOUR OWN!!!! UGH UGH UGH!!!

Yeah... if my parents' divorce ruined us, their continued marriage probably would've killed us. I only wish my mom had filed sooner.

And I'm not sure how widows/widowers fare, as she says that having two parents is critical to not being "ruined." Maybe that's what the Botox is for, so you can find a replacement quickly!

[Deleted]

Mar 6, 2014 13:33:39 GMT -5 @moneyjenny82 said:

We have decades of great data (read Judith Wallerstein) to show that divorce permanently ruins the kids. Yes, it’s true, divorce makes life better for the parents. But kids don’t care. They don’t notice. Kids notice if two parents are paying attention to them, and that is one of the first things to go in a divorce. If you love your kids, you stay married to their parent.

This means that the wife needs to just bite the bullet and maintain the marriage. Stay-at-home spouses keep marriages together more effectively. I know: this is not popular, and not fair, but you do not need to make a crusade out of your family by showing that you can get a divorce and not fuck up your kids. So just bite the bullet and make sure you are keeping your husband happy so your kids can grow up with two parents.

I'm assuming that no studies were done on how observing their parents in an unhappy, resentful marriage affected the childrens' outlook on relationships. And also, why is it up to the woman to keep the marriage together?

YOU ARE NOT IN CHARGE OF ANYONE'S HAPPINESS BUT YOUR OWN!!!! UGH UGH UGH!!!

Who are you in love with these days?  Your hubs, hopefully?

[Deleted]

the love I was referring to in the "change" thread was not romantic love.

[Deleted]

Self-love is the greatest love of all! 

[milee]

OK, I read the link so have the details.

I don't agree with the premise that this is the "blueprint" or even recommended for most women. I also think about 75% of the assertions in the detail are either overly narrow, applicable to only a small portion of women or just plain wrong. 

So I guess I'd have to modify my reaction to be that there is some merit to some of the top level recommendations, but that the underlying detail is questionable.  Also that the points are not applicable to all women, obviously.

And it may be gratuitous, but she does seem purposefully wacky and offensive.  She's obviously trying to increase her readership by being controversial, which is too bad since there are a few pearls in there but most people will be too turned off by her to be able to recognize them.

[midjd]

And it may be gratuitous, but she does seem purposefully wacky and offensive. She's obviously trying to increase her readership by being controversial, which is too bad since there are a few pearls in there but most people will be too turned off by her to be able to recognize them.

Agreed. I'm guessing from the general self-serving nature of her advice (take what you can, screw everyone else) that she is being deliberately provocative to up her viewership/ad revenue.

Pretty smart, actually. I've clicked on her blog several times now. I'm part of the problem

Did you see the comments, though? There seem to be plenty of people who agree with her...

[Lizard Queen]

Mar 6, 2014 13:32:50 GMT -5 @copperpouches said:

Mar 6, 2014 13:17:28 GMT -5 milee said:

Not sure why the quotes aren't working, but there is quite a bit in there that I wouldn't agree with. Where are you reading this? It wasn't part of the OP.

Screw it.  I'm going to post it, because I think full disclosure is important here.  Her article is:

blog.penelopetrunk.com/2011/08/16/blueprint-for-a-womans-life/


I'm pretty live and let live, but I think I blanched some reading her reasoning and "absolutely do this" tone.  It starts off

When I drive, I have arguments with people in my head. I think of someone who does not realize how smart I am about what I am smart about, and I go on tirades to show them how misguided they are.

And I realized one day, while I had a particularly long car ride, that I am actually feeling like I know what women should be doing with their adult life.

Eww. I don't have the time to waste right now checking out her blog, but this bit about driving makes her sound positively mental.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

When I drive, I have arguments with people in my head

That explains SO MUCH

[swamp]

Mar 6, 2014 13:15:45 GMT -5 milee said:

Mar 6, 2014 13:06:25 GMT -5 swamp said:

If that's what you want for a Target.

My husband isn't as educated as me, nor does he make as much.  That's OK.

And I'm a wrinkled hag, and that's OK too.

I don't agree or disagree with her approach or yours.  I'm pointing out that your approach is OK and so is hers because they make sense for you as individuals. 

Maybe I misread or am missing something here, but I didn't read the OP as saying that these are things that all women must do, should do or are crazy not to do so we should agree that these are right for everybody or not.  I read it as saying that these are helpful hints that she lives by and even though they're not conventional, if you want a certain result, they may help you get that result.  I answered that yes, most of them seem applicable and things that would get a result that I personally would like... not that they should be required for everybody.  Am I misunderstanding the question?

No, i think i wasn't clear on her premise.  the idea sounds great, but the thought behind it is scary.   and if you read it in conjunction with the 13 ideas about debt post, my head explodes.

maybe i should duct tape my head back together and explain myself better.  and link the post.