My coworker's laugh and what it reminds me of

[haapai]

When I was in my teens I read a phrase in a book that made no sense to me.  The phrase was "the laugh of a whore".   It didn't make any sense to me at the time. 

I'm in my forties now.  I've kinda figured out in the interim exactly what the author was getting at.  There's a particular laugh that combines volume, attention seeking, desperation, and intent to both flatter and separate that is very characteristic of sex work.  (I spent a good chunk of my twenties in bars "where we can dance" and they were always located in lively neighborhoods.  You had to get comfortable with prostitution if you wanted to dance there.)

My coworker has it. 

If you know the laugh that I am talking about, is it just a tool for takers or is it also characteristic of a particular mental disorder? 

[milee]

I have no idea what you're describing and am now just hoping that people don't think my laugh sounds like that.

[haapai]

That just might mean that you've led a wholesome life. 

The laugh that I'm trying to describe is also a lot like my grandmother's laugh.  My grandmother was the kind of woman who treated all men as intrinsically more interesting and funnier than all women. 

Does that help at all? 

[milee]

No.   Now I'm worried.  I probably unknowingly laugh like a whore. 

(I know what type person you're talking about, just didn't know they had a certain type of laugh.)

[haapai]

I wouldn't worry too much unless you routinely throw an "F-you, I'm working" vibe off in the direction of non-targets.  The laugh in question is intended to flatter the target and get everyone else to go away. 

[midjd]

Haapai, you have a way with words I really admire.

(Although now I am laughing quietly to myself and trying to decide whether I sound whorish )

[milee]

Mar 5, 2014 15:02:28 GMT -5 haapai said:

I wouldn't worry too much unless you routinely throw an "F-you, I'm working" vibe off in the direction of non-targets. 

Oh, whew.  I think I'm OK, then.  I only say "F-you, I'm working" to my kids. 

[resolution]

Uh oh. I attend a lot of large conference calls, and when I laugh, people recognize my laugh and say, "Resolution, is that you on the call?"

[Peace Of Mind]

I've had people tell me that when I laugh I don't hold back and just let it out.   I'm starting to think it was their nice way of saying I have a whore's laugh.  Yay!  I'll even throw the F bomb in now when I laugh to be sure.    As long as it's not one of those obnoxious cackling laughs that I hear some women do that hang out at the bar area in restaurants.  They are clearly seeking attention but I don't think what we are thinking about them is what they had in mind.  

[chiver78]

Mar 5, 2014 17:13:21 GMT -5 Peace Of Mind said:

As long as it's not one of those obnoxious cackling laughs that I hear some women do that hang out at the bar area in restaurants.  

the woman in the next cube at work has a laugh like that.    thankfully my boss ok'd an expense report for noise-cancelling headphones. they help....a little.

I've been told my laugh is recognizable, but now you've got me wondering too...

[Tiny]

I had a female coworker who laughed like bevis and butthead. And swore like a sailor. ::shudder:: glad she's gone.


That said, I think I know the laugh haapai is talking about. It's the one that sends my 'insincerety meter' off the scale - because it isn't laughter in response to an actual joke or feeling of needing to laugh.  It's a kind of forced fake laugh done for someone's benefit.   I always assumed that 'laugh' went with being a 'taker' - it was used on someone or for someone's benefit in order to eventually get that someone to do something for the person doing the laughter.

Guys have something similiar but it's more of a smile/facial expressions that indicate "what ever it is I want from you is SOOOO important to me I'm willing to make you feel like you are important to me" kinda look.

I don't think this kinda stuff is a mental disorder. It's more a "script" used to indicate to other people that they are a 'player' or maybe just as a way to manipulate other people.

It's kinda like the inobtrusive 'geek' things a 'geek/nerd' might say in mixed company to see if there are any other 'geek/nerds' present - as a way to find common ground/interests. I just think the "whore laugh" <-- I like that or the 'greasy guy smile' indicate what common ground/interests they have.


I may have a hyper sensitive "insincerety meter'.

[haapai]

I doubt that you have much to worry about Peace.  The mere fact that you care about what other women think probably comes through in your laugh. 

The attention-seeking cacklers at the bar are precisely what I was thinking about. 

When I was young in Africa, those ladies were probably working that night. 

When I was a teenager in the South Pacific, those letis were probably working that night. 

When I was a twenty something on the wrong side of the tracks, those young boys that were at the bar or outside all the time were probably working. 

If you're curious, the ladies were the loudest and meanest by a wide margin. 

[haapai]

Mar 5, 2014 17:52:23 GMT -5 Tiny said:

I don't think this kinda stuff is a mental disorder. It's more a "script" used to indicate to other people that they are a 'player' or maybe just as a way to manipulate other people.

I wondered if it was symptom of a mental disorder or side effect of meds because I can't understand why I am still working with this gal.  She has an explosive temper and a lot of nasty self-serving traits. I've been working around her for ten years now.  A documented mental illness would go a long ways toward explaining why she still has a job. 

 

[Nazgul Girl]

   I think what you're referring to is a laugh that sounds like the whorish wives on the shows Real Housewives of Planet Nowhere ?

[haapai]

You hear it in a lot of places, but once you've heard it in the context of what was, unquestionably, the sex trade, it sounds different from then on. 

I'm a little surprised that folks who don't consider themselves to be sex workers are hitting almost all the same notes.  Where's their self-awareness?  How could you possibly sound like you do without someone pointing out the obvious analogy? 

And, of course, how could this possibly work?  Don't men ever get sick of flattery and drama or is there always going to be another one along in five minutes?  It just seems like an awful way to go through life. 

[Virgil Showlion]

Which would you characterize it as

1. A ha HA ha huh

2. he.he.he.he.he.he.he.he.he.

3. Ahaww haww haww hauwww haww

4. K'h'ua'a'ahaa!

5. Khhh-hhhh-hhhh-hhhh-hhhh

6. He haw hAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

7. Pffftha ha ha. Pfftha ha ha haaaaaauuuuuuhhh

[Tiny]

Mar 5, 2014 19:44:32 GMT -5 haapai said:

 
I'm a little surprised that folks who don't consider themselves to be sex workers are hitting almost all the same notes.  Where's their self-awareness?  How could you possibly sound like you do without someone pointing out the obvious analogy? 

I seriously think the 'self aware' people are   a tiny minority of the actual population.