8 Bit WWBG
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Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Mar 4, 2014 14:54:35 GMT -5
...:::"He wasnt happy but that what comes when you let someone boo-hoo their way out of a prenup.":::...
Doesn't YM often caution that for long marriages, prenups aren't worth the paper they are printed on? The problem sounds more like an incompetent/biased judge.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Mar 4, 2014 15:06:46 GMT -5
I need to start thinking of more clever ways to convince you to move to NH If global warming continues, NH will be appealing to me about 2050. Call me then. Global warming my ass...we had artic temperatures this winter
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Mar 4, 2014 15:44:54 GMT -5
oh, I would be LIVID if I were your DF. While I hope my parents live forever, if I ever inherited anything from them, I would burn it first before giving it to my husband in a divorce. Hmm...that's good to know...my husband inherited money but keeps it separate
In all honesty I'm joking. I have my assets and he has his. When we separated years ago I never wanted a dime from him. Some people go after the exes money but to me it was a pride thing...I don't need you OR your money! Of course, it doesn't hurt that I made the same as him back then (I now make a little more).
You must have been too drunk to remember ( ) all my griping about my husband wanting to send all kinds of crazy money to his parents. For that reason only I wouldn't want him to get a dime
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Mar 4, 2014 15:58:10 GMT -5
Hmm...that's good to know...my husband inherited money but keeps it separate
In all honesty I'm joking. I have my assets and he has his. When we separated years ago I never wanted a dime from him. Some people go after the exes money but to me it was a pride thing...I don't need you OR your money! Of course, it doesn't hurt that I made the same as him back then (I now make a little more).
You must have been too drunk to remember ( ) all my griping about my husband wanting to send all kinds of crazy money to his parents. For that reason only I wouldn't want him to get a dime Wait...your husband sends money to the parents?? <<begins to wonder how much I drink>>
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Mar 4, 2014 16:07:40 GMT -5
...:::"He wasnt happy but that what comes when you let someone boo-hoo their way out of a prenup.":::... Doesn't YM often caution that for long marriages, prenups aren't worth the paper they are printed on? The problem sounds more like an incompetent/biased judge. Yup, she cheated and she wanted the divorce until her married boyfriend dumped her. She not only got half but she gets a pissload of alimony until dec of 2016. Plus 2 mil when DF dies.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Mar 4, 2014 16:11:03 GMT -5
...:::"He wasnt happy but that what comes when you let someone boo-hoo their way out of a prenup.":::... Doesn't YM often caution that for long marriages, prenups aren't worth the paper they are printed on? The problem sounds more like an incompetent/biased judge. Yup, she cheated and she wanted the divorce until her married boyfriend dumped her. She not only got half but she gets a pissload of alimony until dec of 2016. Plus 2 mil when DF dies. Perhaps a "Weekend at Bernie's" is in order? At least til stupid ex kicks the bucket?
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Mar 4, 2014 16:13:31 GMT -5
I always pray she goes the day before he does!! No issues with her kids getting it but her, I do.
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8 Bit WWBG
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Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Mar 4, 2014 17:19:07 GMT -5
...:::"Yup, she cheated and she wanted the divorce until her married boyfriend dumped her. She not only got half but she gets a pissload of alimony until dec of 2016. Plus 2 mil when DF dies.":::...
Is it possible to appeal nonsense like this? I mean if a judge makes an absolutely disgusting and blatantly unreasonable ruling, is this the kind of thing you can take to a higher court? Or at the very least, launch complaints for misconduct against that judge?
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Mar 4, 2014 17:27:19 GMT -5
...:::"Yup, she cheated and she wanted the divorce until her married boyfriend dumped her. She not only got half but she gets a pissload of alimony until dec of 2016. Plus 2 mil when DF dies.":::... Is it possible to appeal nonsense like this? I mean if a judge makes an absolutely disgusting and blatantly unreasonable ruling, is this the kind of thing you can take to a higher court? Or at the very least, launch complaints for misconduct against that judge? Yes, you can appeal. Legal error is not misconduct. You can file a complaint with the judicial commission but it will be dismissed (unless there is evidence of bias, etc.) All states have a code of judicial conduct. Might be worth a read to see what is "illegal" and what is not.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Mar 4, 2014 17:40:26 GMT -5
Sin is only telling DF's view of the situation from her interpretation. It may not be jumpsuit based on what presentrd to.the judge.
Everyone thinks they got screwed in a divorce.
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8 Bit WWBG
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Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Mar 4, 2014 19:10:48 GMT -5
...:::"Everyone thinks they got screwed in a divorce.":::...
I know what you are getting at Swamp. Though I bet the cheating ex in zib's example would not say she got shafted (unless she genuinely believes she could have gotten more).
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Mar 4, 2014 20:01:40 GMT -5
...:::"Everyone thinks they got screwed in a divorce.":::... I know what you are getting at Swamp. Though I bet the cheating ex in zib's example would not say she got shafted (unless she genuinely believes she could have gotten more). She's probably bitter too. Nobody comes out a divorce happy. And as far as cheating, we don't know what happens behind closed doors. I have a friend who cheated on her husband. He wouldn't have sex with her, they did it 7 times in 5 years at her insistence. I'd cheat in that situation too.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Mar 4, 2014 22:52:27 GMT -5
Oh, she still thinks she got screwed somehow but whatever. The reason divorce is so expensive is because its worth it.
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tallguy
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Post by tallguy on Mar 4, 2014 22:52:32 GMT -5
I don't think I got screwed, really. And I'm pretty happy now, although the process itself was a giant PITA. I tried to not even hire an attorney for it but decided I almost had to eventually.
The first proposal my wife's attorney presented was that I should pay her $185,000 ($175,000?) notwithstanding the fact that she made about double or more what I did and her retirement accounts were higher. My far more reasonable proposal (with backup evidence) was that she should give me $45,000, and I threw in a request for alimony to bargain away later. We ended up at the mediator agreeing that she kept her stuff, and I kept mine. (EXACTLY where we should have been over a year earlier!)
The two things that were really annoying are:
1. That I was actually ahead of my attorney on some of the law and other things that we could accomplish, so feel like thousands of dollars were wasted to have the two attorneys talk back and forth. 2. There were one or two things that I proposed (that my attorney didn't think would fly) but where I had provided enough documentation that the other side AGREED to it, and then the mediator threw it out! It was hard for me to see where that was part of his job.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Mar 4, 2014 22:55:39 GMT -5
Its an attorneys job to run up those fees. That stupid bitch paid over 150k in legal fees and only figured it out in the end that her lawyer had fucked her over! But she gets 60k a year in alimony which she was not supposed to get since she got millions in settlement but that's how judge awarded her half of DFs inheritance from his mom.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Mar 4, 2014 23:31:23 GMT -5
You must have been too drunk to remember ( ) all my griping about my husband wanting to send all kinds of crazy money to his parents. For that reason only I wouldn't want him to get a dime Wait...your husband sends money to the parents?? <<begins to wonder how much I drink>>
no need to wonder....go get another drink....everything will become very clear
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truthbound
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Post by truthbound on Mar 5, 2014 1:11:35 GMT -5
What happens is that the owner will close the accounts and pretend the money never existed and the court will do nothing about it unless the accounts are very large and there is proof they existed. Which is why you make sure no one does.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Mar 5, 2014 7:01:44 GMT -5
Its an attorneys job to run up those fees. That stupid bitch paid over 150k in legal fees and only figured it out in the end that her lawyer had fucked her over! But she gets 60k a year in alimony which she was not supposed to get since she got millions in settlement but that's how judge awarded her half of DFs inheritance from his mom. No, that's not our job.
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on Mar 5, 2014 7:23:59 GMT -5
But you're ok with the court just picking somebody? No, no I am not. But I just can't in good conscience sign an agreement that would make my kids live with my SIL and BIL. It's a pretty screwed up situation bc my husband thinks that they are the obvious choice and I want to throw up just thinking about the possibility. Like I said, it's a mess. Been there done that. What you should do is write a will designating who you choose as guardian and don't tell DH. This is what I decided I should have done... My youngest will be 17 in April and we still never wrote a will. People should be careful with inheritances though. My parents took my Mother's inheritance and bought life insurance and Annuities in my Dad's name to give Mom funds in old age. Dad nearly went into a nursing home which would have resulted in Medicare taking those $. Mom should have been the owner of the policies or invested the $ in her own name. But hey at least they made plans.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 5, 2014 7:59:27 GMT -5
Everyone thinks they got screwed in a divorce. The way my Ex's attorney (a decent guy for the most part) put it was a little gentler: in a good settlement, each side walks out thinking they could have done better. I can certainly think of areas where I could have made a case for more of the equity in the house, but I didn't. Since my Ex ended up squandering it all and living in the streets, my conscience was clear that he'd walked out with enough ($100K tax-free, all his debts paid) to get a fresh start. Not my problem that he didn't.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Mar 5, 2014 8:15:45 GMT -5
Other than the alimony because of the way she couldn't legally grab his inheritance, DF thinks his was fair. He knew he was an idiot about the prenup and it cost him but he also knew regardless, she'd get half. His anger is about the alimony and because she ran up lawyer fees unnecessarily. His was 50k dealing with her idiots. In the end she got a tiny bit more because hers was run up in lawyer fees. Both could have been spared 200k in fees that they could have used themselves. No one is dumb enough to think lawyers don't run up fees. Some lawyers don't but divorce lawyers most assuredly do. Nothing makes them happier than high earners with a huge pot to split. They get a nice chunk of that. Her lawyer could have easily said, half is what you're entitled to and half is what you will get, let's make this simple and quick. Two years later and a bunch of useless stuff is not the way to go about that.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Mar 5, 2014 8:18:28 GMT -5
I'm glad you know how all lawyers think
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 5, 2014 8:23:05 GMT -5
It is my understanding that the fees get run up because people spend their time bitching to their lawyers @ their spouse at $100/hr.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Mar 5, 2014 8:28:07 GMT -5
I'd love to find a lawyer that charges a hundred bucks an hour! Try $500 and more!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 5, 2014 8:32:50 GMT -5
Just goes to show how often I have to call a lawyer! Whether it's $500 or $100 or $1000 it's still the same reason. People use their lawyers as a sounding board and pay for it. I heard somewhere that you should have your questions written down when you speak to your lawyer because the meter starts running the minute they pick up the phone. And you save your bitching for your friends!
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Mar 5, 2014 8:35:42 GMT -5
...:::"Everyone thinks they got screwed in a divorce.":::... I know what you are getting at Swamp. Though I bet the cheating ex in zib's example would not say she got shafted (unless she genuinely believes she could have gotten more). She's probably bitter too. Nobody comes out a divorce happy. And as far as cheating, we don't know what happens behind closed doors. I have a friend who cheated on her husband. He wouldn't have sex with her, they did it 7 times in 5 years at her insistence. I'd cheat in that situation too. I'm the odd ball. I was turning cartwheels when mine was signed off by the Judge. EX and I agreed on everything and actually used the same attorney. Legally? the attorney represented me since minor child (16) still involved but attorney went to court with papers and judge signed off. Attorney called me at work and said "come pick up your papers" He did tell me later that ours was one of a kind as far as he was concerned.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Mar 5, 2014 8:46:39 GMT -5
Other than the alimony because of the way she couldn't legally grab his inheritance, DF thinks his was fair. He knew he was an idiot about the prenup and it cost him but he also knew regardless, she'd get half. His anger is about the alimony and because she ran up lawyer fees unnecessarily. His was 50k dealing with her idiots. In the end she got a tiny bit more because hers was run up in lawyer fees. Both could have been spared 200k in fees that they could have used themselves. No one is dumb enough to think lawyers don't run up fees. Some lawyers don't but divorce lawyers most assuredly do. Nothing makes them happier than high earners with a huge pot to split. They get a nice chunk of that. Her lawyer could have easily said, half is what you're entitled to and half is what you will get, let's make this simple and quick. Two years later and a bunch of useless stuff is not the way to go about that. How do you know her lawyer DIDN'T say that? IME when there is fee-churning it's because the client won't listen to the attorney's advice and/or expects an unrealistic result. Hey Swamp, how often have you told your client what you believe is the best course of action and they say, "You know, you're exactly right - let's do it" without arguing about it? Two percent of the time?
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Mar 5, 2014 9:06:57 GMT -5
Her attorney is known for that. Bringing in others from her firm, so called experts in business and whatever was also uncalled for. I was actually surprised that the judge wasnt harsher with her attorney. He was as harsh as he could get, I suppose. He basically told her attorney that her bringing this case to court was totally unnessary. I think that upset the EX big time because by that time she was paying 10k a month in lawyer fees and starting to freak about it. Of course the fact that it wasn't any of HER money made her think she had no skin in the game. I never looked at my divorce that way. But I worked hard for what I had, it wasnt handed to me.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Mar 5, 2014 9:14:21 GMT -5
Other than the alimony because of the way she couldn't legally grab his inheritance, DF thinks his was fair. He knew he was an idiot about the prenup and it cost him but he also knew regardless, she'd get half. His anger is about the alimony and because she ran up lawyer fees unnecessarily. His was 50k dealing with her idiots. In the end she got a tiny bit more because hers was run up in lawyer fees. Both could have been spared 200k in fees that they could have used themselves. No one is dumb enough to think lawyers don't run up fees. Some lawyers don't but divorce lawyers most assuredly do. Nothing makes them happier than high earners with a huge pot to split. They get a nice chunk of that. Her lawyer could have easily said, half is what you're entitled to and half is what you will get, let's make this simple and quick. Two years later and a bunch of useless stuff is not the way to go about that. How do you know her lawyer DIDN'T say that? IME when there is fee-churning it's because the client won't listen to the attorney's advice and/or expects an unrealistic result. Hey Swamp, how often have you told your client what you believe is the best course of action and they say, "You know, you're exactly right - let's do it" without arguing about it? Two percent of the time? That's why I stopped doing divorces. The clients are nuts. I'm s lawyer, not a social worker. The criminals are more reasonable than the divorce clients. There are lawyers who run up fees, but most are telling their clients to knock it off.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 5, 2014 9:15:24 GMT -5
I guess I can be grateful for one thing. An $870 divorce. $420 of that was court filing fees. It helps when your spouse is in jail and needs the decree signed to get out. Of course, now the fun begins. He's already talking about contesting the supervised visitation and he has a free attorney.
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