The latest with DFs bio dd

[zibazinski]

Feb 14, 2014 13:20:13 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

How old is his dd?  

25. Going on 13!

[NancysSummerSip]

So, now I am curious....with the wedding and all, and assuming little or no money coming from either bio-parent (and let's assume no engagement ring from mom), what do they do next? Have the wedding they can afford? Borrow? Get real jobs and save money and wait? Hit up every relative far and wide until they get the money? Start a Fundme page?

[zibazinski]

Mom has a shitload of money, thanks to DF. If she chooses to spend it on her daughter, that's up to her. I'm sure she figured DF would pay in order to have some contact with bio dd. she figured wrong. Bio dd has some serious groveling to do and I don't think DF will buy into it because it'd be fake. She pulled the pouting scene way too long for forgiveness now.

[zibazinski]

Bio dd has a well paying job and at least 200k plus from her deceased grandmother. She can afford a wedding and grad school with that. I think DF went from wanting that to be used for DDs first house to saying she can spend it on whatever she wants. Because he's not popping for either.

[gs11rmb]

Your DF must be very hurt.  My daughters are young but I can't imagine being estranged from them, it would be too painful.  I hope they are able to work things out.  Even if she is a huge pain, she is still his daughter and he must love her.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

DH wouldn't have lived to marry me if he'd asked for my grandmother's ring to boot.  I wish he hadn't done the "proper" thing and instead we'd eloped.

My dad DID NOT like DH.  If I'd known he was going to ask him for my hand I would have stopped DH but I was in Borneo when he decided all this.

To top it off DH has no filter.  It's even worse when he's nervous.  I told him one of these days I'm going to record him because he has no clue how bad he comes off sometimes when he won't shut-up.

My brother was at the house, he said you could have cut the tension in the air with a knife.  DH kept digging himseld deeper and deeper.  Brother said he kept hoping someone would pop out from behind the couch and say "Surprise you're on candid camera!"

Set off a two year battle between me and my dad.  We worked thru it and everything's peachy now but I haven't ever totally forgiven DH for pouring gasoline on the fire. 

I'm telling Gwen that if her boyfriend thinks it's a good idea to ask her dad about marriage, smack him repeatedly in the head with a 2x4.

[raeoflyte]

Feb 14, 2014 13:48:14 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

Feb 14, 2014 13:20:13 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

How old is his dd?  

25. Going on 13!

That's older than I thought, but as hard as it is I would really try to cut her some slack.  She's had her mom telling her that her dad is only good for a check and who knows what else her entire life.  Those childhood tapes are really hard to turn off.  I know I wasn't even remotely mature until I hit 25, and I was living on my own and supporting myself at 18 and still didn't really grow up.  Hopefully she'll start to reevaluate her relationships.  If your df can try to reach out to her (without money being involved) and maybe they can find some common ground and build a relationship on their own.  

[Wisconsin Beth]

Feb 14, 2014 14:46:29 GMT -5 raeoflyte said:

Feb 14, 2014 13:48:14 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

25. Going on 13!

That's older than I thought, but as hard as it is I would really try to cut her some slack.  She's had her mom telling her that her dad is only good for a check and who knows what else her entire life.  Those childhood tapes are really hard to turn off.  I know I wasn't even remotely mature until I hit 25, and I was living on my own and supporting myself at 18 and still didn't really grow up.  Hopefully she'll start to reevaluate her relationships.  If your df can try to reach out to her (without money being involved) and maybe they can find some common ground and build a relationship on their own.  

You have a good heart and soul Rae. 

[NoNamePerson]

Flashbacks, flashbacks!! My EX MIL called me one day and asked me to give back my engagement ring so EX could give it to current wife!!! I told her I earned the damn thing and for $20 grand I'd be glad to fedx it to her.

EX divorced that one within 9 months and married again and I got the same call.. Now EX is in middle of another divorce (long marriage though). Only reason I haven't gotten another call about the ring is EX MIL is six feet under.

[mollyanna58]

Flashbacks, flashbacks!! My EX MIL called me one day and asked me to give back my engagement ring so EX could give it to current wife!!!

Was it a family heirloom (his family)?  If so, I can see asking for it back.  Otherwise, pretty ballsy on her part.

I told her I earned the damn thing and for $20 grand I'd be glad to fedx it to her.

[zibazinski]

This isn't a family heirloom. I think DF always knew in his heart their marriage wasnt based on anything but him being unable to get her out of his house after she moved in. He basically told me so. But he bought her a nice ring, not as nice as mine but a nice ring. I know his mother would have offered him her ring at the time and he told her no because he didn't want that leaving the family along with his ex. DFs sister is having a fit that his ex kept their mothers jewelry but his mother let her so its hers. The nice thing would have been to return it but she's not a nice person. One hopes she will give it to bio dd someday. I have given or will give all jewelry from my ex to dd.

[NancysSummerSip]

Feb 14, 2014 14:57:32 GMT -5 NoNamePerson said:

Flashbacks, flashbacks!! My EX MIL called me one day and asked me to give back my engagement ring so EX could give it to current wife!!! I told her I earned the damn thing and for $20 grand I'd be glad to fedx it to her.

EX divorced that one within 9 months and married again and I got the same call.. Now EX is in middle of another divorce (long marriage though). Only reason I haven't gotten another call about the ring is EX MIL is six feet under.

If the earth moves and the bitch's tombstone happens to break, you'll have your sign. That's MIL asking for the ring - again.

[zibazinski]

If anyone wanted my Exs ring, I'd be happy to give it to them. My kids, I mean. If I could find it. Maybe I sold it along with the one I gave him?

[NoNamePerson]

Feb 14, 2014 15:57:05 GMT -5 NancysSummerSip said:

Feb 14, 2014 14:57:32 GMT -5 NoNamePerson said:

Flashbacks, flashbacks!! My EX MIL called me one day and asked me to give back my engagement ring so EX could give it to current wife!!! I told her I earned the damn thing and for $20 grand I'd be glad to fedx it to her.

EX divorced that one within 9 months and married again and I got the same call.. Now EX is in middle of another divorce (long marriage though). Only reason I haven't gotten another call about the ring is EX MIL is six feet under.

If the earth moves and the bitch's tombstone happens to break, you'll have your sign. That's MIL asking for the ring - again.

 Well, she best come armed for bear. I learned how to be the bitch from hell from her.  

[NancysSummerSip]

Feb 14, 2014 16:11:01 GMT -5 NoNamePerson said:

Feb 14, 2014 15:57:05 GMT -5 NancysSummerSip said:

If the earth moves and the bitch's tombstone happens to break, you'll have your sign. That's MIL asking for the ring - again.

 Well, she best come armed for bear. I learned how to be the bitch from hell from her.  

Why am I hearing that immortal line from Scarface in my head:

"Say hello to my little friend!"

and picturing you ready for a fight?

[zibazinski]

I think it hurt him initially but she let this go on too long and now he doesn't seem to feel anything other than disgust and shame that none of his class came through in her but that she has all her mothers lack of class. Very sad. Plus, mumsy's obvious mercenary instincts. But that is DFs fault totally.