So what about Valentine's Day?

[Sam_2.0]

Valentines is my absolute hands-down favorite holiday ever! It's one where you get to spend it with whomever you wish and there's no extended family involved. LOVE IT!

This year DH and I are going out to a fancy dinner at his alma mater, lol. Got to love alumni fundraisers. Oh well, mom will keep the kiddo over night so at least there's no need to be quiet when we get home or to wake up early.

[Deleted]

So I compromised. We are getting massages at the same time in different rooms. That should handle the intimacy problem some of you were having.

[hoops902]

::Valentine's Day is commercialized hype. Hallmark cards, restaurants, florists, jewelers etc all make a killing for a silly "holiday".::

That's all holidays though. 

[Abby Normal]

At our house we just refer to it as "stupid american holiday". 

My sister gets frustrated with me because she can't  comprehend that we don't celebrate it.  She will often say " don't you want him to take you to dinner and buy you flowers".  My response is always

" yes, but I want him to do that because he wants to, not because it's a particular day and he is supposed to".

[Phoenix84]

Sure, why not?

Valentine's day is meaningless to me.

[Deleted]

Jan 19, 2014 14:35:40 GMT -5 sunshinegal1981 said:

I've definitely heard the "female masseuse ONLY" preference before, so you may want to make sure one is available at your desired appointment time.


(Personally, I always like more 'forceful' massages though, so I'm happy when I get a male because they usually (not always) provide stronger massages. I imagine if I was a male, the same would be true.  So why the prevalence of the 'female masseuse' preference, among men?  Funny, when I do get a woman masseuse, I don't suddenly feel myself turning gay.       Is sexual orientation among men so tenuous and delicate, that physical contact with other males must be strictly avoided? I don't get it.)

I had a massage once, and it was a female masseuse and it was not a relaxing experience at all. I admit, I was weirded out by a woman having her hands all over my body. She wasn't unprofessional, I was just uncomfortable. I don't think it has some deep, underlying meaning about sexual orientation, I just didn't like it. I'll try again one day, and try to have a male masseuse and see how that goes. Maybe I won't enjoy that either, since I generally don't like strangers touching me.

[sarcasticgirl]

Jan 21, 2014 13:47:27 GMT -5 Abby Normal said:

" yes, but I want him to do that because he wants to, not because it's a particular day and he is supposed to".

exactly! The random gift/gestures on random days mean exponentially more. Valentines day just makes me roll my eyes.

I'm also one of those special unicorn women who actually say what they mean. I'm not going to say "it's fine" if it isn't. 

[Abby Normal]

Jan 21, 2014 16:32:32 GMT -5 sarcasticgirl said:

I'm also one of those special unicorn women who actually say what they mean. I'm not going to say "it's fine" if it isn't. 

I'll say "it's fine, you jackass"  

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

She will often say " don't you want him to take you to dinner

Yeah but not on V-day.  I don't know why anyone puts themselves thru that.  Food usually sucks because the back is in the weeds, staff is over extended and even with reservation so wait forever because everyone is going out at the exact same time.

Unless you're doing lunch or a super early bird dinner it isn't worth it.  We stay home that night.

[Spellbound454]

I was lucky if he collected a few wilted flowers from the petrol station on the way home from work.
Romance... just wasn't his thing.

Quite envious of you all.... with massages and parties

[zibazinski]

I think the idea of couples massage in separate rooms is a great compromise. When DF and I did the couples massages, it was very intimate for us. No, we didn't do anything in the room after they left but we were in a very happy place. He said he would assume you were ready to be intimate so there's that aspect. If you are, great, if not, best solution. I like that DF is romantic even without the prodding of V day. It helps to get through the times when you expected something romantic like a proposal and it was about as romantic if he'd done it seated on the toilet.

[Deleted]

Jan 19, 2014 12:15:44 GMT -5 Cookies Galore said:

How new is this friend? A couple's massage seems too much too soon if you've dated less than a year. I don't celebrate Valentines Day (restaurants are just as delicious and not over crowded on the 13th and the 15th) so I think "happy Friday" is good enough acknowledgement.

a year?  good lord....I think a couple's massage is less intimate than sex and I don't know anyone who's dating for a year before having sex

[zibazinski]

No kidding. I think DF and I made into February after starting to see each other again in November. We are OLD!!!!

[Cookies Galore]

Jan 22, 2014 8:28:31 GMT -5 @singlemominmd said:

Jan 19, 2014 12:15:44 GMT -5 Cookies Galore said:

How new is this friend? A couple's massage seems too much too soon if you've dated less than a year. I don't celebrate Valentines Day (restaurants are just as delicious and not over crowded on the 13th and the 15th) so I think "happy Friday" is good enough acknowledgement.

a year?  good lord....I think a couple's massage is less intimate than sex and I don't know anyone who's dating for a year before having sex

Pfft. I'm not spending money on a silly lovey-dovey "holiday" on someone I've dated less than a year. Sex can be meaningless (and fun!). There's no such thing as meaningless massage.

[8 Bit WWBG]

...:::"I have a new friend and Valentine's Day is coming up. I'm thinking of getting us a couple's massage at a local spa. Guys, is this an okay gift?":::...

laterbloomer I see a few separate questions here, and will try to separate them out.

1) Would WWBG like this gift from DW?  Yes, and she's done it before (anniversary).  We enjoyed it together.  Anything that relaxes the spuds is awesome in my book.

2) Would later-friend like this gift?  Hell if I know.  It sounds like he does massages, so at least its not "weird".  Some guys are not into the whole "spa" thing.  You'll have to sleuth to figure this out.

3) Is this gift appropriate for where you are in the relationship?  Maybe.  There are many levels of massage.  If this is where you are naked under robes and oils and music factor in, it could be too far.

I do think you are spot on to get an activity you can enjoy together.  I think those make the best gifts, especially early on in a relationship.  You get to spend time together sharing something special.  Few people really "need" more trinkets, and for some guys; unless he's circled the item or forwarded you a shopping cart, you may miss the boat entirely.

Does it HAVE to be a couples massage?  Can you book time for some other activity?

[8 Bit WWBG]

DQ is spot on about going out on valentines day.  You are going to a place staffed by folks who either couldn't get the night off, or worse; have no reason to ask for the night off.  There is a reason some call it "single's awareness day".

I'd only go out if it was to a place that capped attendance, and now that we are already married.  I love DW the other 364 days too.

[zibazinski]

DF actually got me to go out last year. I was totally opposed for all the reasons stated above. But we went to a place that was quiet and intimate and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

[8 Bit WWBG]

One year, DW and I had a delightful dinner at a small private club, which was more concerned with providing a quality evening than turning tables.  Another year, we went to a place where the tables were so packed together, it was impossible not to be a part of others conversations.

I see laterbloomer went with the gift, but separate rooms.  I think she should try to plan an activity where they can be together.  Is there another spa service that is less intimate than a massage, that he would like, that can be done together?