Common Financial Goals

[Iggy aka IG]

So, a few of the comments on Pepper's savings strategies got me thinking:  How do you handle it if your significant other has different goals than you?  If, for instance, (referencing the comments), your DH will spend rainy day funds if he knows they are there?  Do you keep a secret stash?  Have recurring conversations with him/her to remind them to be frugal?  If you don't have a spouse or SO, how would you handle it if/when you did? 

I had a conversation (again) with DH about the energy bill over the weekend.  He argued, again, the fact unplugging things don't save money.  I told him every money saving article I've read says it helps.  Maybe not much, but every little bit helps.  That, plus the fact he spends much more frivolously than I.  Granted, he brings home more money each month, but still........

[Deleted]

having similar goals is almost a must to make things work long term

a spender and a saver probably will have a very rocky time together

but....not sure if unplugging appliances is going over the top or not

to me....it would be

i guess for some....you do what you need or have to do

[kadee79]

Luckily, DH & I are on the same page...save every penny we can.

Yes, unplugging unused or seldom used things, including lamps does save a few pennies each month...and we do that.

My first hubby was a spender, no matter what I said...it just didn't sink in. We finally sat down & had a LONG talk and I took over all the bill paying, saving and had to approve any other spending other than the $20 a week he got out of his paychecks. But I was also the main bread winner in the family...he was construction and made good money when there were jobs but was often unemployed. I had a regular 40 hr. a wk. job.

I also had a savings account that he knew nothing about.  Each situation & family is different and you all have to work out your own solutions to the problems.

[dancinmama]

Jan 6, 2014 12:25:23 GMT -5 Iggy aka IG said:

So, a few of the comments on Pepper's savings strategies got me thinking:  How do you handle it if your significant other has different goals than you?  If, for instance, (referencing the comments), your DH will spend rainy day funds if he knows they are there?  Do you keep a secret stash?  Have recurring conversations with him/her to remind them to be frugal?  If you don't have a spouse or SO, how would you handle it if/when you did? 

I had a conversation (again) with DH about the energy bill over the weekend.  He argued, again, the fact unplugging things don't save money.  I told him every money saving article I've read says it helps.  Maybe not much, but every little bit helps.  That, plus the fact he spends much more frivolously than I.  Granted, he brings home more money each month, but still........

What are rainy day funds?  Is it like an emergency fund?  IF my DH kept spending rainy day funds on non-emergency type expenditures, I guess I'd reduce the amount of the rainy day fund and put some money in a different category giving it an obtuse description.

When DH and I were young, the rule was that once money went into the savings account, it didn't come out unless it was a true emergency.  Some months it got a little bit tight at the end of the month.  DH would "complain" that I had put too much in savings.   Funny though, he never complained about the high balance in the savings account. 

[Iggy aka IG]

Jan 6, 2014 16:22:58 GMT -5 dancinmama said:

Jan 6, 2014 12:25:23 GMT -5 Iggy aka IG said:

So, a few of the comments on Pepper's savings strategies got me thinking:  How do you handle it if your significant other has different goals than you?  If, for instance, (referencing the comments), your DH will spend rainy day funds if he knows they are there?  Do you keep a secret stash?  Have recurring conversations with him/her to remind them to be frugal?  If you don't have a spouse or SO, how would you handle it if/when you did? 

I had a conversation (again) with DH about the energy bill over the weekend.  He argued, again, the fact unplugging things don't save money.  I told him every money saving article I've read says it helps.  Maybe not much, but every little bit helps.  That, plus the fact he spends much more frivolously than I.  Granted, he brings home more money each month, but still........

What are rainy day funds?  Is it like an emergency fund?  IF my DH kept spending rainy day funds on non-emergency type expenditures, I guess I'd reduce the amount of the rainy day fund and put some money in a different category giving it an obtuse description.

When DH and I were young, the rule was that once money went into the savings account, it didn't come out unless it was a true emergency.  Some months it got a little bit tight at the end of the month.  DH would "complain" that I had put too much in savings.   Funny though, he never complained about the high balance in the savings account. 

From the comments in Pepper's 2014 Savings Strategies thread, I think so. 

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I took over all bill paying and money management.  Everything goes thru me which DH has agreed to.  He even says from time time while he'd have a lot of neat stuff he'd be totally screwed finanically if I didn't captain the ship.

Logically he gets what I'm telling him but he's too much of a "live for today" type of person to really grasp things like an EF.  So I'm in charge of all that and he goes along for the ride.

He could access any of the account information at any time, he knows my username and password.  He just doesn't care.  I joke I could rob us blind and be half way to Bora Bora before he noticed.

Unplugging appliances would not be my hill to die on.  If we were on the verge of destitution those pennies would be important but since we're not I don't care.  Keeping DH in line with the bigger picture is more important to me than unplugging lamps.  As long as he's cooperating with me on the big stuff I don't give a fudge about the small stuff.

[justme]

I thought for appliances you unplug things the passively use electricity (chargers, TVs) but there are things like lamps that don't use electricity unless they're turned on.

[resolution]

We just discuss our differences and try to compromise. The person that feels more strongly tends to get the better end of the compromise.  

I want to invest and DH wants to pay off the house early. So we agreed to split our extra money between investments and principle payments, but because I feel more strongly about it I get 75% of the extra money to invest (in joint investments) and he gets 25% of the extra money as principle payments on our house.

I would like to spend more on lifestyle improvements and he would like to spend less. I haven't hired the services that I would like to hire because he feels much more strongly about it than I do.

[Iggy aka IG]

The unplugging of things was just an example of the different mindsets we have.

Apparently our 2010 BK scarred (yes, scarred, not scared ) me-for the better, IMO. 

[dancinmama]

Jan 6, 2014 16:45:09 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

I took over all bill paying and money management.  Everything goes thru me which DH has agreed to.  He even says from time time while he'd have a lot of neat stuff he'd be totally screwed finanically if I didn't captain the ship.

Logically he gets what I'm telling him but he's too much of a "live for today" type of person to really grasp things like an EF.  So I'm in charge of all that and he goes along for the ride.

He could access any of the account information at any time, he knows my username and password.  He just doesn't care.  I joke I could rob us blind and be half way to Bora Bora before he noticed.

This is exactly the way it is with DH and I.  I have always handled anything having to do with money.   DH was never interested in managing the details of our personal finances.  He knew that I was not a big spender and would value what he earned as if I had had to work for it myself.

In retirement, even though we only have a few accounts, I guess I am going to have to put together a "look at this in case I die" binder because he still has absolutely no interest in how much money we have or where it is.  He has no clue how much we owe on the mortgage or when property taxes are due, etc.

[Iggy aka IG]

Jan 6, 2014 17:20:48 GMT -5 dancinmama said:

Jan 6, 2014 16:45:09 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

I took over all bill paying and money management.  Everything goes thru me which DH has agreed to.  He even says from time time while he'd have a lot of neat stuff he'd be totally screwed finanically if I didn't captain the ship.

Logically he gets what I'm telling him but he's too much of a "live for today" type of person to really grasp things like an EF.  So I'm in charge of all that and he goes along for the ride.

He could access any of the account information at any time, he knows my username and password.  He just doesn't care.  I joke I could rob us blind and be half way to Bora Bora before he noticed.

This is exactly the way it is with DH and I.  I have always handled anything having to do with money.   DH was never interested in managing the details of our personal finances.  He knew that I was not a big spender and would value what he earned as if I had had to work for it myself.

In retirement, even though we only have a few accounts, I guess I am going to have to put together a "look at this in case I die" binder because he still has absolutely no interest in how much money we have or where it is.  He has no clue how much we owe on the mortgage or when property taxes are due, etc.

Dancin', I started doing this last week, beginning with a list of my insurance policies (LTC, AD & D, group and individual, etc etc.).  Next up will be a sheet with websites and passwords if he ever needs to pay a bill, etc.  Side note:  DH *does* pay for the satellite and wifi, two things we wouldn't have if it were up to me. 

[❤ mollymouser ❤]

While my wonderful DH and I aren't 100% aligned when it comes to saving and spending, he's definitely more of the saver and I'm more of the spender. And, to offset my desire to spend more than him, I get pretty dedicated to saving where I can to offset it ... and he's a good sport about that. It works for us, LOL!  We just have joint accounts and I am in charge of money management and bill paying, and all of our bills get paid on time, every time. We've got a fully-funded emergency fund and we've been able to increase our charitable giving every year.

[Iggy aka IG]

So the gas/elect statement came in-it is over $200 for the first time ever.  It's on. 

I read yet another energy savings article yesterday, and was reminded of a few things:

Replace the furnace filter:  Put on DH's list, he does this regularly, but it might be time again.
Clean the sediment from the water heater:  Also on DH's list.  I don't think we've ever done this in the 9 years we've lived in the house.
Put water jugs to take up any extra freezer space:  I set a gallon outside to freeze this morning
Set your dishwasher to air dry:  Did this last night.  We'll see how the dishes turn out.

I put blankets up in the French door and living room windows Sunday.  It took the chill out of the air.

[skubikky]

Jan 6, 2014 17:20:48 GMT -5 dancinmama said:

Jan 6, 2014 16:45:09 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

I took over all bill paying and money management.  Everything goes thru me which DH has agreed to.  He even says from time time while he'd have a lot of neat stuff he'd be totally screwed finanically if I didn't captain the ship.

Logically he gets what I'm telling him but he's too much of a "live for today" type of person to really grasp things like an EF.  So I'm in charge of all that and he goes along for the ride.

He could access any of the account information at any time, he knows my username and password.  He just doesn't care.  I joke I could rob us blind and be half way to Bora Bora before he noticed.

This is exactly the way it is with DH and I.  I have always handled anything having to do with money.   DH was never interested in managing the details of our personal finances.  He knew that I was not a big spender and would value what he earned as if I had had to work for it myself.

In retirement, even though we only have a few accounts, I guess I am going to have to put together a "look at this in case I die" binder because he still has absolutely no interest in how much money we have or where it is.  He has no clue how much we owe on the mortgage or when property taxes are due, etc.

I've done this task and keep updating it as I go.

It was more for our kids to refer to.

It basically is a "what do do is something happens to Mom and Dad".
 
It starts with who to call and then goes on to list all accounts and logins.
Copies of our wills, trusts, POAs and proxies are there as well as the location of other documents.

[wvugurl26]

Maybe because I had a small 2 bedroom apartment but I never saw much benefit from unplugging stuff. Money was very tight and I kept everything unplugged and the thermostat low. The electric bill didn't go down.

While the $200 bill isn't fun, I'd also consider the weather. Mine always told me the avg temp for this billing cycle was this, so many days below freezing, etc.

[Wisconsin Beth]

I have to admit, if DH went around unplugging stuff we use on a regular basis, I'd be annoyed.  The stuff we don't use on a regular basis, knock yourself out.  The Wii was unplugged for a couple of years, since we weren't using it.  Unplug my Kindle and I don't know what I'd do.  But it likely would be loud and profane. 

[wvugurl26]

I also find if I flip the switch on the power strip that has the tv, cable box and dvd players, the tv and cable box both take forever to power back up again. They have to reload themselves.

[Peace77]

It doesn't make any sense to unplug a lamp or appliance that doesn't use any power when it is not on.  TV's, things with indicator lights and clocks do but not ordinary lamps.

[resolution]

When we went out of town for the holidays, DH turned off the circuit that fed power to all of our electronics, partly to prevent storm power surges and partly to save on electric. However he also turned off my basement freezer, which was full of expensive meat and all my home grown tomatoes.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Check your rates before you start ordering DH to unplug everything.  I had a gas bill like that and when comparing our useage hadn't changed enough to justify the spike.  The gas company jacked up it's prices. 

[thyme4change]

My husband and I are pretty similar in our goals, but I will say that we jump back and forth on who is losing their resolve and who is tightening their grip pretty regularly.  Sometimes I say "I've had enough - let's re-do the kitchen" (or whatever) and he says "How much will that cost??!!"  And other days he says "Let's go buy you a car - you want a BMW?  Let's go buy it today."  And I answer "Meh - my car is fine."  I think if we ever decided on the same day to spend a bunch of money, we are hosed.

[Iggy aka IG]

Jan 8, 2014 9:31:19 GMT -5 Wisconsin Beth said:

I have to admit, if DH went around unplugging stuff we use on a regular basis, I'd be annoyed.  The stuff we don't use on a regular basis, knock yourself out.  The Wii was unplugged for a couple of years, since we weren't using it.  Unplug my Kindle and I don't know what I'd do.  But it likely would be loud and profane. 

As would I.    Nah, it's things like the lamps, etc. in the rarely used guest room, accent lighting in the living room, etc.  We did see a significant energy bill decrease when we stopped using and unplugged the extra large, ancient fridge/freezer in the garage.