tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Jan 3, 2014 12:22:16 GMT -5
I've been dealing with this since I was 18.
She had met an older guy and loving was so grand that she lost her mind.
When they part their ways she got married and gave birth to her husbands son and named him after the flame.
Since then 30 years past and she is happily married living in USA and he is still overseas (so we think).
Once in a while she crying hysterically because she saw old flame in her dreams and it was so real she can feel it!
She swears she doesn't think about him, she saw his picture on FB and she says he looks old, her DH looking good
and old flame can't even stand next to him, however those dreams are keep happening (not too often but twice per year)
and I am getting tired of consoling her much because I have nothing to say! it is just a dream! She yelling 'why is it happening?
Don't I love my family? I do not even want to meet him, I don't care about him...why?why?why?'...
Anyone good with crystal ball or palm reading?
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swamp
Community Leader
THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
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Post by swamp on Jan 3, 2014 12:26:49 GMT -5
No, but you can tell Crazy to STFU. It's just a dream.
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greeniis10
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Post by greeniis10 on Jan 3, 2014 12:35:23 GMT -5
Personally, I would advise her to consult a therapist and find out why the dreams bother her so much. You've told her everything you can. Direct her to a professional. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 3, 2014 12:44:59 GMT -5
Maybe it's residual guilt for naming her son after the flame? ...  |
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on Jan 3, 2014 12:47:20 GMT -5
Speepless in Seattle?
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Jan 3, 2014 12:54:50 GMT -5
Or peepless in Philly? Loony, it's nice that you've spent time listening to her. But you've done enough. She needs to look forwards in life, not backwards. |
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Jan 3, 2014 13:02:46 GMT -5
Or peepless in Philly? Loony, it's nice that you've spent time listening to her. But you've done enough. She needs to look forwards in life, not backwards. No! I am actually dying to know why! I have my own skeletons in closet... |
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Jan 3, 2014 13:12:04 GMT -5
Or peepless in Philly? Loony, it's nice that you've spent time listening to her. But you've done enough. She needs to look forwards in life, not backwards. No! I am actually dying to know why! I have my own skeletons in closet... Do tell. Big closet or small closet? And is Archie one of those skeletons?  |
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Jan 3, 2014 13:19:58 GMT -5
No! I am actually dying to know why! I have my own skeletons in closet... Do tell. Big closet or small closet? And is Archie one of those skeletons? Archie is thrown out on a subject of avatar changing. I can't be assosiated with anything like that... |
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Jan 3, 2014 13:35:19 GMT -5
Do tell. Big closet or small closet? And is Archie one of those skeletons? Archie is thrown out on a subject of avatar changing. I can't be assosiated with anything like that... I have not seen Archie or his new avatar. Is it that bad? |
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sunshinegal1981
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Post by sunshinegal1981 on Jan 3, 2014 18:54:51 GMT -5
Maybe it's residual guilt for naming her son after the flame? ... I know a woman who named her kid after a dude she cheated on her husband with. Beyond weird. And very awkward for the people in her life who know about the affair.....  |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 3, 2014 19:12:01 GMT -5
Are you going to lock this thread too, if you don't hear what you want?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 3, 2014 20:24:29 GMT -5
My roommate from college married her 2nd high school boyfriend... Her oldest daughter is Rayna, her 1st high school boyfriend was Ryan. She cheated on 2nd once in college (after flirting with it for quite some time)... That guy's last name was Griffith ... Her son is Griffin... I mean, they aren't exact, but with all the names in the world...  |
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sunshinegal1981
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Post by sunshinegal1981 on Jan 3, 2014 20:48:29 GMT -5
^^^ Haha. That reminds me of learning a simple lab test in grad school that determines your blood type (you prick your finger and let the blood mingle with some simple reagents.) The lab technician explained that they used to do this test in the elementary schools, because it was a very effective hands-on way to teach the kids about blood types, coagulation, antibody-antigen reactions, blah blah. But they stopped doing it because too many of the kids' blood test results ended up showing a result that was scientifically impossible based on the blood types of the people they THOUGHT were their parents. And it was causing problems for the kids at home. (Ya think?) Apparently something like 10% of the general population does not have the father they think they have. Maybe Rayna and Griffin share more than their names with mommy's old flames?  |
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8 Bit WWBG
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Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Jan 3, 2014 21:17:55 GMT -5
Birds of a feather, flock together.
And a stitch in time saves nine.
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Nazgul Girl
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Babysitting our new grandbaby 3 days a week !
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Post by Nazgul Girl on Jan 3, 2014 21:35:11 GMT -5
Who is "she" ? A friend ? A relative ? I can't quite make it out from your original post. And please save me your sarcasm. It just isn't plain.
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Jan 4, 2014 2:18:53 GMT -5
Or peepless in Philly? Loony, it's nice that you've spent time listening to her. But you've done enough. She needs to look forwards in life, not backwards. No! I am actually dying to know why! I have my own skeletons in closet... Sounds like she needs to clean her closets! Loony, surely you've only been dealing with this a short time, if you've been doing it since you were 18. (you're just a young thing) Feel free to sort your closet out here, Loony.  |
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Jan 4, 2014 8:28:19 GMT -5
I have no idea what this is about or whom but I will take a stab at it. Everyone in life wonders about the "What Ifs' from time to time. And, maybe even dreaming about it. But, the reality is that you or your friend or whoever needs to focus on REALITY. It is just a temporary moment of Whatif-itis. Well, What if, didn't happen. Your reality is right in front of you. So, there are some dreams, big deal. And, get off of Facebook and stop looking at pictures of this person which do nothing but further fuel this fantasy that doesn't exist.
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Jan 4, 2014 11:16:57 GMT -5
Agreed 'what if' is nothing more than that... If. It isn't reality. Even if it did come to pass, it wouldn't change what is current, or has past. People have the ability to make the 'what if' scenario ANYTHING they'd like (positive or negative), without being wrong. Because it isn't real, except in their own head. Thus, it can go on endlessly. That sounds too tiring, for me. If you enjoy it, go for it. -Sorry Loony, if I loaned you my crystal ball, it would ruin you fun for the next 30 years.   But of course I do have access to several swammy's and the like, as well as one of my own. Why not just get one of those 8 balls? It would be just as reliable, I would think. But for the right price, I'd be happy to look into my crystal ball, and make something up, like they do!   |
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Jan 4, 2014 14:08:20 GMT -5
Are you going to lock this thread too, if you don't hear what you want? Power to people!  I sure will...If I want...because I CAN! |
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Jan 4, 2014 14:10:49 GMT -5
Who is "she" ? A friend ? A relative ? I can't quite make it out from your original post. And please save me your sarcasm. It just isn't plain. And it is matters WHY? Oops...have I done it again? Just FYI I do not have to SAVE my sarcasm, I have so much...unlike dots.  |
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Jan 4, 2014 14:12:28 GMT -5
My son has the same name as a guy I had a fling with immediately before meeting XH. I'm sure some deluded people think it is an hommage, it is not and it was embarrassing. What could I say to XH? Stop picking names of guys I slept with? I don't think you should say anything. If you asked me I say you shouldn't speak. Period.  |
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Jan 4, 2014 14:18:17 GMT -5
No! I am actually dying to know why! I have my own skeletons in closet... Sounds like she needs to clean her closets! Loony, surely you've only been dealing with this a short time, if you've been doing it since you were 18. (you're just a young thing) Feel free to sort your closet out here, Loony. We grew up together and been best friends since...it's been 30 years since then. And I am still feeling when it comes. She really doesn't have any other annoying habits. So it is easy to be her friend. And she is not here in US so it is even easier. However wasting time on calls from overseas just to hear 'whyyyy? whyyyy? whyyyy?' and NO, they do not go to doctors for that over there  |
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Jan 5, 2014 0:18:00 GMT -5
You seem like a good friend Loony. Good friends are hard to come by, so that's nice. I hope things are gong well for you at your store.  |
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