Gifts to children and their spouses

[sbcalimom]

My parents give all the siblings and spouses the same amount of money each year for Christmas.  Usually $200 but is has varied in the past.  When the spouses were BF/GFs or fiances, they got less than us but once spouses they get the same. They try to spend roughly the same amount on each of the grandkids but since the ages are fairly diverse that isn't always perfect.  This year, in addition to gifts to the grandkids they opened 529's for them all.  They put $1K in each of my daughters and I have no idea what they did for their other two.  They may have done exactly the same or more since those two are older and closer to college.

My husband's parents never do anything the same and it kind of irks me.  His dad sends small checks that are the same but then also buys presents.  DH usually gets 4-6 presents and I get 1.  His mom is completely random and we haven't gotten our presents yet this year so who knows.  She didn't feel comfortable mailing them so is bringing them to us on her trip this week. They of course can do anything they want with their gifts and money, I just wish they'd try to be a bit more fair about it.

The bigger problem though is the gifts his parents buy for the girls are ridiculous, excessive, and totally not age appropriate. We are however supposed to keep them for the next X years until they are appropriate and get asked where's X, Y, Z whenever his mother is at our house. Since most get donated somewhere, we try to be generic and say in closet, not mentioning who's closet  .  I'm hoping to shift them to college funds going forward but I doubt it will work.

[Spellbound454]

I usually aim for about 5 gifts for Christmas morning for them to open.......They wont be big things, they will be slippers, socks, new jumper, pyjamas, aftershave, T shirt, magazines, books.etc (3 to buy for)
The kids get a toy...or game plus a Christmas stocking full of little treats....plus I'll buy toys for friends kids
My siblings get booze or chocolates....nieces get vouchers

I buy and cook the food for the three days they are here.....they bring the alcohol
And we get a different board game each year to play after dinner.

I don't spend a fortune but we always seem to have plenty for Christmas.

[kittensaver]

My mother has almost never gifted cash. Because she lives on a fixed income, she usually bakes treats or knits something for the giftee. She "gifts" pretty evenly to everyone - kids/sibs, grandkids, spouses, etc.

My in-laws used to give me the same amount as they would give DH and DBIL for birthdays and holidays - a check for $100. This was a standard amount for almost everyone for almost every occasion. It really DID help the family to feel "treated equally." I loved them for that. Well, I loved them for other things too (!), but they were smart about gifting .

[zibazinski]

Someone on this forum said she bought four gifts. Something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read. I'm stealing that for next Christmas.

[wvugurl26]

Dec 30, 2013 21:01:54 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

Someone on this forum said she bought four gifts. Something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read. I'm stealing that for next Christmas.

I did more than 4 gifts but I followed that idea with my niece. She needed clothes and socks, I picked out a couple toys and a dvd and she got some books. I was trying to divide it up between what was needed/useful and what was for fun.

[zibazinski]

I'm trying to stop making it like the kids were still kids. That's my goal, that and not have an overwhelming amount spent.

[wvugurl26]

Dec 31, 2013 8:21:17 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

I'm trying to stop making it like the kids were still kids. That's my goal, that and not have an overwhelming amount spent.

I think its a great idea zib. Your kids are adults. My niece is 5. Her mom's white trash and my brother lost his job so yeah my dad, my other brother and me spent a fair amount on her. I got what she needed clothes wise and I wanted her to have some fun toys too. She's my niece I want to buy her fun stuff too not just what she needs.

[zibazinski]

Ooh, a 5 year old and a girl! I'd so be unable to help myself! DS won't care at all and will probably be hard pressed to come up with 4 things for me even to buy him. This year he wanted sunglasses and socks. DF glommed onto the cool gift of the sunglasses which left me buying the socks. I bought two other things for him, both of which were a fail.    DD is another story in itself but I am determined to cut down. I seriously cut back for DF.