My new years resolutions

[8 Bit WWBG]

I don't normally make them, but this year I want to give it a try.  So here is a list of my resolutions.

1) Make more lists (its actually been effective for me, and I just can't keep everything in my head).
2) Stop trying to make things "work out" by busting my butt anticipating contingencies or making sacrifices.  People seldom appreciate them -- they just think I'm pessimistic and stressful.
3) Be far more direct and confident in asking for what I want.
4) Say no, maybe, or barter something for at least 10% of the things I used to instantly say yes to.

Also, unlike most resolution makers, I've already started doing some of these.  I don't need to wait until Jan 1st.

You?

(PS: I apologize if I missed another resolution thread.  If I see one, I'll merge this post in).

[tloonya]

I will stop reading others New Year resolutions because most of it just time wasted!

[8 Bit WWBG]

I know right...  I JUST got used to writing "2013" on checks (which I still write, because I refuse to pay $3+ convenience fees to certain greedy service providers).

OK add to my list:

5) Let some shit go, really...

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

Your number one is the main function of my life. I realize lists don't mesh with everyone's personality, but I cannot fathom not having lists. 

I do think your number two contradicts your number one a bit. You might want to think about how you're approaching it. I'm not trying to be judgemental; I really want you to be successful and want to support you by pointing out what I'm interpreting as a potential conflict. I may not be interpreting it correctly. 

Mine are
1)Be less gossipy
2)Be more positive (at minimum in a fake way, hopefully in a real way; I'm a pessimistic person who find stupid people annoying. I work with a lot of stupid people--not those who actually work in the organization, but those who attend it.)
3) Read 12 books. (It doesn't seem like a lot, but that was my goal last year and I only got to 11. )


I really am going to stop there. Too many and it's just not feasible for me to focus on any of them. 

[dannylion]

Dec 28, 2013 12:52:35 GMT -5 tloonya said:

I will stop reading others New Year resolutions because most of it just time wasted!

Because in the end, really, everything should always just be about Loony.

[tloonya]

Dec 28, 2013 13:50:37 GMT -5 dannylion said:

Dec 28, 2013 12:52:35 GMT -5 tloonya said:

I will stop reading others New Year resolutions because most of it just time wasted!

Because in the end, really, everything should always just be about Loony.

I knew someone WILL finally realize it and post it. I was hoping on bolder and bigger fonts, danny but thanks anyway

[dannylion]

Dec 28, 2013 13:52:53 GMT -5 tloonya said:

Dec 28, 2013 13:50:37 GMT -5 dannylion said:

Because in the end, really, everything should always just be about Loony.

I knew someone WILL finally realize it and post it. I was hoping on bolder and bigger fonts, danny but thanks anyway

Pozhalujsta, ne za chto.  

[tloonya]

Dec 28, 2013 13:58:43 GMT -5 dannylion said:

Dec 28, 2013 13:52:53 GMT -5 tloonya said:

I knew someone WILL finally realize it and post it. I was hoping on bolder and bigger fonts, danny but thanks anyway

Pozhalujsta, ne za chto.  

Ya skazala 'bigger fonts' ili ne skazala? Ti chto' slepaya?

[dannylion]

Dec 28, 2013 14:01:21 GMT -5 tloonya said:

Dec 28, 2013 13:58:43 GMT -5 dannylion said:

Pozhalujsta, ne za chto.  

Ya skazala 'bigger fonts' ili ne skazala? Ti chto' slepaya?

Net, ne slepaya.  Prosto menye vse ravno.  

[dannylion]

Returning to WWBG's topic:  

Lists are awesome!  I have only recently discovered the miracle of lists wrt getting things done.   Having items on the list that have not yet been crossed off as "done" is almost as motivating as an actual deadline.  

I, too, will be making more lists this year.  

[Deleted]

Shit, can we please stick to English at least? 

This year my main and only goal is more income generation.  Mine has been slacking and I am TIRED of having no money. Both of my cars are currently not functioning and I am FREAKING OUT.  Next year by this time I want to be able to call the freaking mechanic if I have to or have it towed to replace the flat tire...  Argh.

I also make lists. 

[8 Bit WWBG]

...:::"I do think your number two contradicts your number one a bit. You might want to think about how you're approaching it. I'm not trying to be judgemental; I really want you to be successful and want to support you by pointing out what I'm interpreting as a potential conflict.":::...

Great question Knee Deep in Water Chloe and I appreciate it.  My #2 I mean that I feel like the guy who always tries to maneuver situations to make everyone (read: DW) happy.  I'll try to pin her down on what she wants to do, and try to figure out how to make it all work.  This doesn't seem to be appreciated, and its a LOT of work for me, and ends often with me sacrificing something I want.  I need to focus more on my stance that if something is important, time will be MADE for it.  If the person doesn't make time for it, then it wasn't that important, and I don't need to interrupt MY plan to accommodate the other person who wants the best of both worlds.

The above may be even easier with a list.  If I know what I want to get done, then I know what I'm trying to make time for.  If other people don't want to plan and end up missing what they want, then whatever!

This will take a LONG time to break though.  I've been too accommodating for years and sometimes I find myself in an internal debate over why the hell I am willing to put something I want on hold for someone else, and what I can really stand to get from it.

[Deleted]

WWBG - you can't change other people.  Ever.

[justme]

1) Move - which might entail a career change
2) Do my hobbies more
3) Keep my place cleaner - which means getting rid of stuff and buying more organizing items
4) Go to Europe - though moving might push this out
5) Workout more

[me4kids]

1)  My only resolution this year is to get rid of old clothes, toys, and clutter in general. 

I don't want to be a hoarder anymore.  We've already started getting rid of stuff in the past few weeks. It was hard to decide what to get rid of when we started.  But now I just want to go through everything and toss or donate whatever we don't need anymore.  

[busymom]

Me4kids, join us over on the "Declutter and Organize" Thread. All of us over there are works in progress.

1. Get rid of more clutter in my house:  sell it, throw it, or donate it.

2. Although I'm pretty good at keeping up with paperwork, I'd like to do even better.

3.  Finish cleaning out Mom's house, & sell it. 

4.  And yes, the tried & true "I need to lose a few more pounds, & instead of taking care of everyone else, focus on my own health".

[Shooby]

1. The usual - Eat better. Get in better shape, etc.

2. One of my goals is to not waste another second of my life investing time in people who aren't willing to invest in me. To whom this may apply, to HECK with ya I say!

3. School Board - I was just sworn in to office in Dec. I plan to spend the next year really educating myself on the issues and policies and how things work.

4. Professional goals - I have some things I want to accomplish this year in terms of my profession.

[violagirl]

I absolutely need lists to get things done. I am by nature a procrastinator, especially when I am overwhelmed by the amount I need to do. I also hate, absolutely hate finishing anything. So I am always working on my strategies to overcome my own proclivities. This is not generally an issue in my personal life, but at work, I can't put off things I hate forever. I make short and long term lists, every morning I start with what absolutely must be done that day, or that week. It makes sure I keep on track and it also makes sure that I finish things I have started by forcing me to complete a task before moving to the next one. I also vow when I go back to work, to turn off my email when I am trying to get something done. 

I also find that often if I get things organized in one area of my life, other areas that were out of balance fall into place. So I am striving in 2014 to be in balance. I started working out with a trainer 2x a week a few months ago. It is more expensive than a gym membership, but she doesn't let me give her excuses. Starting next month, I am going to add another lunch hour at the gym doing a class (which also prevents me giving up half way through because I'm bored, because you cant look at the fat girl next you you who is pushing it to the end and give up part way). I am also planning to watch what I put in my mouth 5/7 days a week for starters. I could lose 20ish lbs, but I"m not a fan of harping over every calorie/lb on a scale, so I'm just going to try to eat less crap and eat more vegetables. Pretty sure you don't get fat eating vegetables. 

Also going to start with spending 2 lunch hours per month volunteering. That seems like an achievable goal. 

Going to schedule those massages that my insurance pays for. Especially during busy season to help me handle the stress. 

I am NOT going to run a marathon   like EVERYONE else is doing. Seriously people..these are not good for you. It didn't end so well for Pheidippides did it? I rest my case. 

[sheilaincali]

me4kids-  the 2013 Declutter thread is wrapping up for the year but I imagine they will either keep posting on that one or start a 2014 one- great group of people.  Very encouraging of each other.  I decluttered over 2000 items out of my house this year.

My resolutions:

1.  Diet and exercise- I've been on a special diet since October and am doing great at it so far.  I've also been transitioning the rest of the family (DH and DS-15) into Eating Clean.  If I go to my gym 12 times a month insurance will kick in for half of the membership fee.

2.  Stay Organized- house is in great shape current, but my goal is to not bring anything new into the house in 2014.  I'll need new clothes thanks to the diet but other than that we have all the movies, furniture, nicknacks, kitchen gadgets, etc that we could possibly need.

3.  Say "Yes" to things.  Our friends want DH and I to take dance classes with them starting in February for example.  I am going to just start saying "yes" to everything rather than hem and haw and wish I had said yes.  Basically put myself out there and spend less time sitting at home in my own head.  Part of this includes traveling more.  I only have two more years before DS leaves us for college so family vacation time is running out.  I want to take advantage while he is still in high school.

4.  Get Debt Free-  we are closing in on getting rid of all of our debt but will need to make a bigger effort to get it done.  I've got the  budget worked out that I can send all of DH's income to our two remaining debts (car payment and one CC) and into savings.  I'd like to adhere to that plan for the whole year.  DH is about 90% on board so I only have a little bit more nudging to do.  

[me4kids]

busymom & sheilaincali - Thank you for pointing me in that direction.  I'm reading through the declutter thread right now.

[Deleted]

1. Become debt free other than mortgage.

2. Get down to a size 10.

I'm going to stick with those 2. Anything else will be a bonus and I'm sure I will get it done but those 2 are my priorities.

[Deleted]

Mine is drink more craft beer.   It will be tough, but I am ready for the challenge.

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

This New Year I resolve not to make any resolutions.

It's a win-win.

Seriously, though... I want to better my career path and forge ahead and look for any opportunity that crosses my path to better myself.

I want to also start to workout/exercise more. I don't need to lose weight (I'm a lightweight at around 120 lb and 5'6", but I want to tone what I have - less sitting and more doing)..

[Cookies Galore]

I am a big list writer! I am in full support of your resolution to do so.

I have some professional things I want to take care of this year.
I do want to improve my 10k time and hopefully sign up for the Broad Street Run (10 miles). Of course, I'm ending the year off my mark because of my stupid f#$@! pertussis. So I think my new year's goal is one day without coughing spasms, lol.

[8 Bit WWBG]

...:::"WWBG - you can't change other people. Ever.":::...

Why do people keep saying this?  It is absolutely possible.  This board is full of stories of folks who were changed by someone else's behavior -- oftentimes so gradually, that it went unrealized for years.  How many people were different in their second marriages than in their first?  Or guided in a positive way by the experience of another.  Other times, it might just be about changing someone's behavior, as opposed to their beliefs; which might have to be good enough.  Isn't compromise a type of change?  Messy and clean folks find middle ground thanks to the other?  Some have had to use ultimatums, and some have had them work.

...:::"3. Say "Yes" to things. Our friends want DH and I to take dance classes with them starting in February for example. I am going to just start saying "yes" to everything rather than hem and haw and wish I had said yes.":::...

This sounds delightful!  Recognizing that there are things you would enjoy, and doing them, is a great step towards a happier life.

[Deleted]

-> have sex every other day or as often as possible (we are on a mission here).
-> maintain my 401k at 25% and my wife 403b at 15%, increase hers by 1% every time we get a raise
-> remain cc debt free
-> get healthy and remain healthy
-> have a smooth relocation to a new apartment comes September (open to have two apartment leases during that month to facilitate the transition and not have to rush).
-> have more money in savings.

[sheilaincali]

WWBG- thanks. It will take me out of my comfort zone some but I've really grown this year and tried to make more/new friends and put myself out there more. I'm very happy with the direction my life is heading in currently.

I have to agree with you too. You can change people for the better and/or for the worse. Not to re-hash my entire marriage but my husband has changed significantly. To keep it financially related:  10 years ago he was buying things behind my back and hiding the bags and boxes in the garage. When asked he would lie and say "I bought this awhile ago". 

My first experience on these threads was on WIR- specifically the controlled spending threads. Through my participation in that he started to become more aware of what he was spending and what he was doing. He has a very addictive personality and has addiction issues in the past. Shopping was one of his issues.

Now he gives me a heads up if he wants to buy something and will say things like "I was looking to buy such and such, do we have it in the budget this week?". He is not an extravagant shopper anymore and has agreed to challenge ourselves to not buy anything new in 2014 other than food, household products and clothes (when necessary).

I could give you a dozen more examples of ways in which we have both changed over the years. So yes, I think if the other person is open to it than it is possible to change.

[dogmom]

I was thinking about this earlier.  Thanks for the thread. 

For me, I make monthly goals.  Trying to hold a whole year's expectations doesn't make me feel that I can keep them.  But, that's just me.

[Malarky]

Dec 28, 2013 12:56:25 GMT -5 8 Bit WWBG said:

I know right...  I JUST got used to writing "2013" on checks (which I still write, because I refuse to pay $3+ convenience fees to certain greedy service providers).

OK add to my list:

5) Let some shit go, really...

Write 2014 on the whole stack of checks. Chances are you'll use them before the year is up. By the time you need to do it again, you'll be used to the change.

[Malarky]

My biggest resolution in to NOT VOLUNTEER FOR ANYTHING.

I need to keep saying no. For the first time, I resolve my needs and the needs of my immediate family come first. 

I should also get on the list bandwagon.  I could stand to be a lot more organized.  Although I won't have to remember as much without coaching and other volunteer activities.