Works4me
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Post by Works4me on Dec 14, 2013 5:45:46 GMT -5
Until you have been the one to force someone else to stop driving, you have no idea how hard it can be.
Elderly husband of a patient at the last SNF I worked at refused to stop driving, despite having multiple other forms of transportation - he hot wired the car and even installed a new battery and fixed the car when it was disabled. I repeatedly had to call the son and the police when he showed up. Even the small town police had a hard time stopping him from driving as they had to catch him in the act and the man was extremely wiley. Problem was the man was not incompetent - just guilty of extremely bad judgment. He legally owned the car and was not going to give it up.
When a neighbor from the block I grew up on had to stop driving, his sons put The Club off the steering wheel. Said neighbor was able to break it off so that does not always work. On a side note, I have always wondered how exactly he did that and what about the warranty - lol - but the guy had nothing else to do when home alone and he was not going to stop driving. Ended up having to involve the local sheriff, went to and go to court and the car was removed by court order.
I even had issues with my father - the state renewed his license in person with written and eye tests despite multiple fender benders and God only knows what else at age 79. His insurance was an old policy that could not be cancelled. Following major surgery, I finally was able to remove his keys and my father, who had spanked me maybe once, tried to break my arm and then called the police on me - fortunately he was in a wheelchair and needed help for balance so they backed me but we did that at least 3 times. He currently is a long term resident at a nursing home and still thinks he can drive.
Problem is MIL is an independent adult who, despite having some dementia, has not been declared incompetent. She also is the legal owner of the car and can do as she so desires.
It is way too easy to say what you would do but until you have been in the middle of it you have no idea how hard it is to manage. It's not like dealing with a minor child - the process of our legal system take time to work and a court order is required for removal/sale of a vehicle from the owner.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Dec 14, 2013 10:08:19 GMT -5
As frustrating as it is in this instance I think we're all glad that a random family can't just declare us unsafe to drive and take away our licenses / cars.
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whoami
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Post by whoami on Dec 14, 2013 10:28:20 GMT -5
If you don't take her keys and she kills someone, wouldn't you be liable? So, do you regularly steal other peoples property? Taking a persons things away from them when you have no legal authority over them is theft.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Dec 14, 2013 11:05:55 GMT -5
If you don't take her keys and she kills someone, wouldn't you be liable? So, do you regularly steal other peoples property? Taking a persons things away from them when you have no legal authority over them is theft. Not only that, even if you do steal the keys, all she has to do is call a locksmith and get a new set made. The car is registered and insured in her name. There is no reason by they would not make her a new set. It is a difficult situation and the OP and her DH have taken all the appropriate steps.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Dec 14, 2013 11:29:38 GMT -5
We were very lucky in that my dad decided he should no longer be driving and sold the car. Yes, we do a lot of errand running, but we don't have to worry about him driving.
My BIL had a terrible time getting his mother to stop driving. It took 3 accidents, all her fault, to do it. The third one she hit a tree head on in a one car accident and said she didn't see the tree.
When the insurance company sent her a bill with a huge rate increase, she called BIL and told him to come take the car. He did, in a matter of minutes.
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Bonny
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Post by Bonny on Dec 14, 2013 11:41:45 GMT -5
So far we've all been lucky that she's only been involved with a few fender benders (parked cars and her garage) and her car seems to have taken the worst of it. But she did get cited for leaving the scene of an accident and is paying some attorney's fees to deal with that one. We (and her attorney and insurance co) all think this may have been a situation where someone deliberately tried to cause an accident since the guy wants far more $$$ than his car was damaged. But who knows, maybe MIL cussed him out too!
Anyway, that situation where she admits she used poor judgment may have been a wake-up call not to test driving while the license is suspended. It was only a couple of miles from her house.
And I certainly have empathy; I figure that we'll all be there someday. I just hope I'm kinder to the folks who are trying to help me out.
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whoami
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Post by whoami on Dec 14, 2013 13:52:14 GMT -5
As frustrating as it is in this instance I think we're all glad that a random family can't just declare us unsafe to drive and take away our licenses / cars. I took my 17 year old sons keys when he got a speeding ticket. The car was in my name and he was on my insurance. He was given them back once he turned 18, obtained his own insurance and the title was transferred to him. The idea that I would take the keys away from my 70+ year old MIL because I thought she was a menace is laughable. Exactly what right do I have to swoop in, confiscate another adults keys to a car that I dont insure or own? Ridiculous.
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Bonny
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Post by Bonny on Dec 14, 2013 14:18:38 GMT -5
As frustrating as it is in this instance I think we're all glad that a random family can't just declare us unsafe to drive and take away our licenses / cars. I took my 17 year old sons keys when he got a speeding ticket. The car was in my name and he was on my insurance. He was given them back once he turned 18, obtained his own insurance and the title was transferred to him. The idea that I would take the keys away from my 70+ year old MIL because I thought she was a menace is laughable. Exactly what right do I have to swoop in, confiscate another adults keys to a car that I dont insure or own? Ridiculous. Our approach might be different if we knew that she was driving on a suspended license especially given the accidents. I think we would have a heart to heart with her attorney and decide whether we should sell her car or attempt to go to court to declare her mentally incompetent. We both have both financial and health POAs for her.
Fingers crossed that we NEVER have to go down this path.
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whoami
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Post by whoami on Dec 14, 2013 14:40:07 GMT -5
I took my 17 year old sons keys when he got a speeding ticket. The car was in my name and he was on my insurance. He was given them back once he turned 18, obtained his own insurance and the title was transferred to him. The idea that I would take the keys away from my 70+ year old MIL because I thought she was a menace is laughable. Exactly what right do I have to swoop in, confiscate another adults keys to a car that I dont insure or own? Ridiculous. Our approach might be different if we knew that she was driving on a suspended license especially given the accidents. I think we would have a heart to heart with her attorney and decide whether we should sell her car or attempt to go to court to declare her mentally incompetent. We both have both financial and health POAs for her.
Fingers crossed that we NEVER have to go down this path.
Absolutely. In MILs case, regardless of my feelings, the state of California issued her a license long after I refused to get into a car with her. You have to go in to the DMV after a certain age (70 I think) and renew. They were apparently satisfied that she could drive. When you dealing with a difficult personality, the idea that you just take the keys and that is the end of it is a very simplistic and unrealistic view. No way would MIL have sat back and done nothing. It would have been WW3.
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Dec 14, 2013 16:05:18 GMT -5
I'm sorry about this. bon-bon. I went through it as well. My mother was mentally competent, and the nicest person on the planet. Unfortunately, it was diabetic neuropathy in both hands and feet that ended her driving. Her doctor had her license suspended. I had to take the car, they keys and the title. In her case, the loss of driving privileges was the beginning of the end for her. She just could not handle the loss of what that car meant in terms of freedom, and no offers from me or my siblings made up for it. Granted, you could say she made her own decision on that, but after so many years of making her own plans and decisions, having it taken away was just too much. I think the doctor made the right decision, as did the DMV. She'd had a few minor accidents, no one injured, but it was really a matter of time. Her health was deteriorating, and her passing would have occurred regardless of the status of her drivers license. I have said this before, on threads of this nature. We all need to think about what's ahead. The time to give up the keys is not when you are forced to, or when your kids are faced with the task because the doctor or the DMV or the cops tells them they have to. You need to test yourself after a certain age - AARP offers a course in many cities for those over age 50. It's not a legally binding thing; it just tests your abilities and reaction times behind the wheel, and makes sure you still have what it takes to be safe. ( Vhttp://www.aarp.org/home-garden/transportation/driver_safety/). Taking the course can also get you a discount on your insurance. Thinking about this ahead of time, and planning for your transportation needs in later years, can alleviate problems later on.
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Gardening Grandma
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Post by Gardening Grandma on Dec 14, 2013 16:27:48 GMT -5
We went through something similar (however not as bad as bon-bon's situation) with my mother before her Alzheimers diagnosis. Mt mother, never a really good driver, was getting worse and worse. Trying to talk to her about alternatives to driving was met with hostility and denial.
Eventually she was in an accident - her fault. She pulled out in front of a truck and totaled her vehicle. Unfortunately my sister was riding with her. Fortunately no one was hurt. Mother was indignant that the police cited her stating that she caused the accident. However, she did not replace the vehicle, so that put an end to her driving. Sis and I heaved a big sigh of relief...
It's a tough, tough situation. I'd like to think that I would be realistic enough to know and accept when the time comes that I should not be driving.
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Bonny
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Post by Bonny on Dec 14, 2013 16:44:31 GMT -5
Nancy,
Thank you for your kind and thoughtful post. Both DH and I understand that what makes MIL so difficult to deal with now is a survivor instinct that has gotten her through some really tough times. Her independence is VERY important to her (and I truly understand that) but her failure to come to grips with her limits is making her a danger to herself and others. And of course the defensiveness and paranoia means that she is just down right nasty with anyone who disagrees with her or tries to help her because it's never her fault.
We're trying to walk a fine line between being available to help/checking on her without trying to take over. Some days are better than others.
Because she is in stage 4 kidney disease I don't think she will be around more than a couple more years. She's already said she doesn't want dialysis and one of my friends who is a Nephrologist has already told me that given her ADD it won't work for her.
I started this thread because I know we aren't the only folks to be going through it. And while some of the stuff we go through with her is emotionally painful, putting it in writing often makes me find the humor (or insanity!) of the situation.
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Works4me
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Post by Works4me on Dec 14, 2013 17:28:54 GMT -5
Curious about what you mean by ADD and how would that play into her not being a good dialysis patient?
As for not driving, due to lupus and medications, there already times I should not and therefore do not drive - I will be 52 on Monday and damn, that sounds old! I know that driving represents freedom, especially to our parents generation. Having dealt with the issue both professionally for about 25 years and now personally, I want to keep my driving privilege for as long as is possible. Therefore I choose not to get behind the wheel when I am compromised and truly hope that I continue to show such judgment in the future.
There was an article in the local paper today about a 56 year old woman who is facing her 4th DUI due to prescription drugs. She admits to driving while taking prescription drugs including morphine and dilaudid.
1999 - Probation
2001 - Hit and killed tow truck driver on highway Pled no contest and was sentenced to 7 years
2007 - Still on Probation, found slumped behind wheel
2013 - Stopped in Sept for weaving on same hwy as '01 Currently charged with felony DUI
As asked in the article, what is it going to take to get her off the road?
Source:
www.sanluisobispo.com/2013/12/13/2833964/denise-gafner-mendoza-dui-arrest.html
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Bonny
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Post by Bonny on Dec 14, 2013 18:27:55 GMT -5
Curious about what you mean by ADD and how would that play into her not being a good dialysis patient?
The classic ADD Attention Deficit Disorder. She's been on a prescription for it for over 20 years. She has NO attention span.
My friend says that between the dementia and the ADD they do not do well on dialysis. He's been a nephrologist for over 25 years. I think they can't sit still long enough due to the ADD and with the dementia (or denial of dementia) won't accept/don't remember why they are hooked up to the machine. I've seen MIL in the hospital before and she is one of those who will start ripping out stuff from her arms, tell the hospital folks she has a medical background (sort of) and gets released before she's ready.
If she says she doesn't want dialysis, I'm not going to push it. It would be pure torture for her and everyone around her.
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Works4me
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Post by Works4me on Dec 14, 2013 20:15:40 GMT -5
Bon Bon - thanks for clarifying the situation. That was my guess but wanted to be sure. I also agree that if she does not want to do dialysis and it is not recommended that she should not be encouraged.
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Anne_in_VA
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Post by Anne_in_VA on Dec 14, 2013 21:13:22 GMT -5
I'm so sorry you're going through this Bon Bon! We went through this with Ex-H's grandmother. She drove long after she should have given up driving. Unfortunately, she lived in a very small town and the town police knew to watch out for her. She eventually had an accident and was forced to give up driving.
I'm one of those who voluntarily gave up my license due to health issues. About 10 years ago I developed macular degeneration in one eye and found I no longer had the depth perception I needed to navigate turns and around cars on narrow streets. While I hated giving up my independence, I really felt it was better for everyone on the road if I didn't drive any more.
Good luck with your MIL.
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Peace77
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Post by Peace77 on Dec 14, 2013 23:53:50 GMT -5
I suggest putting the car keys in a metal cash box and lock it with a combination (locker style) lock. If you use a keyless lock, the agency and each caregiver can have the code and there is no worry about losing or sharing keys.
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milee
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Post by milee on Dec 15, 2013 9:33:06 GMT -5
OK, so this brought back a childhood memory of an experience my sister and I still talk about sometimes.
My favorite grandmother (my grandfather was an artist and ladies' man, married a lot) was this wonderful southern belle who had been the daughter of a governor, knew how to entertain and always had interesting stories. She was fascinating and glamorous and we adored her. Now that we're adults, we realized she was a serious alcoholic, but at ages 7 and 5, we didn't know that. Being in her early 70s with vision so poor she was virtually blind did not improve her driving skills. Anyway, she was always a terrible driver (wonder why? tough to drive when you drink a fifth or two a day...) and none of the adults in the family would ride with her.
She was preparing for a party and discovered she was missing something. None of the adults present - grandfather, father, step mother - wanted to drive to the store so she went. And of course we wanted to go with her. This was around 4 in the afternoon, so by that point, she'd probably drunk at least 1/2 a bottle of vodka. She, my younger sister and I headed to the store and I'm pretty sure as we exited the driveway, I heard a pinging noise as she sideswiped the mailbox. The ride to the store was like something out of the Disney attraction "Mr Toad's Wild Ride" with high speed and random swerving. Even at age 5 and 7, my sister and I both kept looking at each other like this:
We pulled into the grocery store parking lot and she tried to park the car. Remember, this is Florida, land of the old people. Parking spaces here are a good 6 feet wider than they are in any other place and most all of them are angled to help the octogenarians park. There is no tricky parking. But that day, parking appeared to be a challenge. She pulled in way too close to the car on the driver's side and realized she couldn't open her door to get out. Unfortunately, when she had parked she had jammed her car into a shopping cart, so the front bumper of the car was firmly hooked onto said cart. When she started to back out of the space to try again, the shopping cart impaled on the front of grandma's car dragged all along the side of the car next to us - making the loudest SCREEEEEEECH ever and actually striking a trail of sparks as metal scraped metal. After she backed out, she scooted over a few feet and re-parked, dragging the shopping cart all along the side of the parked car again. My grandmother was completely oblivious, turned off the car, exited and went inside to buy the missing ingredient. Sis and I were still like this and unsure what to say. So after a minute, we collected our wits and followed her in to the store.
Since she only needed one ingredient, we were only in the store for a few minutes and the other car - scraped all down its side - was still there; the owner hadn't yet come out and seen the damage. Grandma casually walked past the damage, got into her car, threw it into reverse and backed out, making the horrible screeching and sparks for a third time as we backed out. We dragged that shopping cart for a few miles - and it made a different screech as we dragged it on the road at 60 mph - until for some reason, it just fell free a mile or so from the house. Grandma's huge boat of a car with those old style huge separate metal bumpers didn't look any worse for the wear as she calmly parked it at home and went inside to continue her party prep. Sis and I sat in the car for a while, still looking like this:
Almost 40 years have passed and we now laugh about it.
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Bonny
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Post by Bonny on Dec 15, 2013 10:15:50 GMT -5
OMG!
I'm surprised your folks let you guys drive with her. Did you tell them the story?
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milee
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Post by milee on Dec 15, 2013 10:28:33 GMT -5
Of course the adults knew about this, why do you think none of them would ride with her?
When you grow up like this, you don't realize it's not normal for parents to not take care of their children. It wasn't until I'd moved out and lived around and with other people that I understood how unacceptable their parenting was. It will sound like I'm an idiot, but it's been a big challenge for me to do some of the very basic things that come naturally to other parents, simply because they're so foreign and not what I've known. I try very hard to be a good parent and break the cycle. In other words, I'm messing my kids up in entirely new and unique ways...
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Dec 15, 2013 17:34:07 GMT -5
Nancy,
Thank you for your kind and thoughtful post. Both DH and I understand that what makes MIL so difficult to deal with now is a survivor instinct that has gotten her through some really tough times. Her independence is VERY important to her (and I truly understand that) but her failure to come to grips with her limits is making her a danger to herself and others. And of course the defensiveness and paranoia means that she is just down right nasty with anyone who disagrees with her or tries to help her because it's never her fault.
We're trying to walk a fine line between being available to help/checking on her without trying to take over. Some days are better than others.
Because she is in stage 4 kidney disease I don't think she will be around more than a couple more years. She's already said she doesn't want dialysis and one of my friends who is a Nephrologist has already told me that given her ADD it won't work for her.
I started this thread because I know we aren't the only folks to be going through it. And while some of the stuff we go through with her is emotionally painful, putting it in writing often makes me find the humor (or insanity!) of the situation.
You're welcome. And make sure her final wishes are in writing. You don't mention if MIL has siblings or if your husband has siblings. At the end, you do not want arguments. Make sure her medical directives, power of attorney and all legal paperwork required by your state are in order. She will receive only palliative care (hospice) at the end to alleviate her pain. That was my mother's wish and I carried it out, because she had it in writing. I'm pretty sure I became a grownup the day I faced down a room full of ER doctors and said, "Enough. You want to give her a few more bedridden weeks of living, but no life. That's all you've got? It's not who she is, it never was. Now go get hospice." Absolutely the worst day of my life. But probably one of her better ones. She was without pain for the first time in a very long time.
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Bonny
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Post by Bonny on Dec 15, 2013 18:11:11 GMT -5
Nancy,
MIL only has one mentally competent sibling who actually was a hospice social worker for a while.
DH is an only child which is why MIL's situation affects us so much.
We just re-did her Trust documents with her attorney this summer. He also prepared the four POAs. I think we're in pretty good shape.
What a tough situation for you to have been in. I congratulate you for standing up to them!
I had to face a similar situation with my mom. When she got diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer the doctor told her that she had about six months. She chose not to pursue chemo which I think was the right decision. She had about 4 really good weeks and we were able to throw her a wonderful 70th birthday party. Then she died 5 days later.
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Dec 15, 2013 19:31:07 GMT -5
Nancy,
MIL only has one mentally competent sibling who actually was a hospice social worker for a while.
DH is an only child which is why MIL's situation affects us so much.
We just re-did her Trust documents with her attorney this summer. He also prepared the four POAs. I think we're in pretty good shape.
What a tough situation for you to have been in. I congratulate you for standing up to them!
I had to face a similar situation with my mom. When she got diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer the doctor told her that she had about six months. She chose not to pursue chemo which I think was the right decision. She had about 4 really good weeks and we were able to throw her a wonderful 70th birthday party. Then she died 5 days later. Good for you on all the paperwork. Interesting coincidence on MIL having a sibling who worked with hospice. Is MIL close to that sibling? Part of your first sentence caught my attention: MIL only has one mentally competent siblingJust curious: your MIL sounds like she's mentally competent, but she sounds like a difficult personality, to say the least. Do the mental/emotional issues run in the family?
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Bonny
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Post by Bonny on Dec 15, 2013 19:47:05 GMT -5
I know you're serious but I can't help with "You mean in DH?"
For a more serious reply, MIL is the 3rd of 4 kids. Oldest brother has been institutionalized with dementia within the last year or so. I think he's 85. 2nd brother died about 2 years ago from complications related to Parkinson's. DH doesn't think dementia runs in the family but it sounds like depression probably does. DH's grandfather who lived to 102 was a really nice man and was pretty sharp up until he turned 100. DH says when he sees some of this really mean behavior it reminds him of his maternal grandmother but she had passed before I met DH.
They are all pretty high IQ folks but like everyone, they have their "stuff".
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Sammy
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Post by Sammy on Dec 16, 2013 0:02:05 GMT -5
We have a house in Florida in an over 55 community of 100,000+ citizens. There's a steady stream of accidents caused by drivers who should absolutely not be driving. I've taken to using extra caution when I am in a car because of the wacky stuff I've witnessed on the local roads. Sometimes I don't know whether to laugh of shout obsenities at some of the dumb drivers.
One man in his 90's was told he could no longer drive so he would borrow his friends golf cart and tool around. One day last year he hit a bicyclist knocking the man down. He stopped, backed up and drove the cart over the man on the ground then pulled forward and drove over him again. The then proceeded to back up again drive over the man stopping the cart on top of him. Took several people to remove the cart off the poor guy who was then med flighted to a regional emergency center with extensive injuries.
We do our dangerious driving seniors (and the innocent public) a favor by removing their access to vehicles. MIL has proven that she is not beyond taking dangerous measures to get her way when the operator of the car she is in is not doing what she wants. Sadly MIL is now at a point in her life where she is not the same person she once was. The task right now is coming to terms with the realization that for her safety she needs to be blocked from driving.
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Works4me
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Post by Works4me on Dec 16, 2013 2:21:09 GMT -5
My favorite grandmother (my grandfather was an artist and ladies' man, married a lot) was this wonderful southern belle who had been the daughter of a governor, knew how to entertain and always had interesting stories. She was fascinating and glamorous and we adored her. Now that we're adults, we realized she was a serious alcoholic, but at ages 7 and 5, we didn't know that. Being in her early 70s with vision so poor she was virtually blind did not improve her driving skills. Anyway, she was always a terrible driver (wonder why? tough to drive when you drink a fifth or two a day...) and none of the adults in the family would ride with her.
She was preparing for a party and discovered she was missing something. None of the adults present - grandfather, father, step mother - wanted to drive to the store so she went. And of course we wanted to go with her. This was around 4 in the afternoon, so by that point, she'd probably drunk at least 1/2 a bottle of vodka. She, my younger sister and I headed to the store and I'm pretty sure as we exited the driveway, I heard a pinging noise as she sideswiped the mailbox. The ride to the store was like something out of the Disney attraction "Mr Toad's Wild Ride" with high speed and random swerving. Even at age 5 and 7, my sister and I both kept looking at each other like this:
We pulled into the grocery store parking lot and she tried to park the car. Remember, this is Florida, land of the old people. Parking spaces here are a good 6 feet wider than they are in any other place and most all of them are angled to help the octogenarians park. There is no tricky parking. But that day, parking appeared to be a challenge. She pulled in way too close to the car on the driver's side and realized she couldn't open her door to get out. Unfortunately, when she had parked she had jammed her car into a shopping cart, so the front bumper of the car was firmly hooked onto said cart. When she started to back out of the space to try again, the shopping cart impaled on the front of grandma's car dragged all along the side of the car next to us - making the loudest SCREEEEEEECH ever and actually striking a trail of sparks as metal scraped metal. After she backed out, she scooted over a few feet and re-parked, dragging the shopping cart all along the side of the parked car again. My grandmother was completely oblivious, turned off the car, exited and went inside to buy the missing ingredient. Sis and I were still like this and unsure what to say. So after a minute, we collected our wits and followed her in to the store.
Since she only needed one ingredient, we were only in the store for a few minutes and the other car - scraped all down its side - was still there; the owner hadn't yet come out and seen the damage. Grandma casually walked past the damage, got into her car, threw it into reverse and backed out, making the horrible screeching and sparks for a third time as we backed out. We dragged that shopping cart for a few miles - and it made a different screech as we dragged it on the road at 60 mph - until for some reason, it just fell free a mile or so from the house. Grandma's huge boat of a car with those old style huge separate metal bumpers didn't look any worse for the wear as she calmly parked it at home and went inside to continue her party prep. Sis and I sat in the car for a while, still looking like this: OMG - I have been laughing so hard I have tears running down my face and I think I almost peed my pants!
Worst part is the more I realize how wrong what happened the was more I laugh because it is just so insane and the harder I laugh the worse it is that I am laughing about something like that and off I go again!
The dog keeps looking at me like I have lost my mind and I may never be able to look at that wide eyes Smilie again without laughing!
I say this in all seriousness - thank you for surviving your upbringing and thank you for a well needed laugh!
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milee
Senior Associate
Joined: Jan 17, 2012 13:20:00 GMT -5
Posts: 12,344
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Post by milee on Dec 16, 2013 6:17:19 GMT -5
OK, if you think that's wrong, I just have to add that she is still my favorite grandma.
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NancysSummerSip
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 19:19:42 GMT -5
Posts: 36,682
Today's Mood: Full of piss and vinegar
Favorite Drink: Anything with ice
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Dec 16, 2013 11:07:08 GMT -5
I know you're serious but I can't help with "You mean in DH?"
For a more serious reply, MIL is the 3rd of 4 kids. Oldest brother has been institutionalized with dementia within the last year or so. I think he's 85. 2nd brother died about 2 years ago from complications related to Parkinson's. DH doesn't think dementia runs in the family but it sounds like depression probably does. DH's grandfather who lived to 102 was a really nice man and was pretty sharp up until he turned 100. DH says when he sees some of this really mean behavior it reminds him of his maternal grandmother but she had passed before I met DH.
They are all pretty high IQ folks but like everyone, they have their "stuff".
Sounds like the "stuff" does perhaps have a genetic/family connection. Parkinson's, dementia and depression may not be exactly related to one another, but there are some underlying connections there. I'm not sure knowing that will help your MIL at this stage, but it's an interesting insight to see a family pattern.
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The Captain
Junior Associate
Hugs are good...
Joined: Jan 4, 2011 16:21:23 GMT -5
Posts: 8,717
Location: State of confusion
Favorite Drink: Whinnnne
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Post by The Captain on Dec 16, 2013 14:06:10 GMT -5
For some of the posters on here I know this is hard. However those of us who are also, or will have to deal with the same issues really appreciate the stories and ideas!
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Works4me
Senior Member
Someone responded to your personal ad - a German Shepherd named Tara wants to have you for dinner...
Joined: May 5, 2012 12:11:37 GMT -5
Posts: 2,553
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Post by Works4me on Dec 16, 2013 14:41:36 GMT -5
OK, if you think that's wrong, I just have to add that she is still my favorite grandma. Meant that in this day and age it is wrong to laugh at drunk driving. Glad you and your sister are able to laugh at it and every time I think of the SCREEEEECH with sparks I crack up.
And it sounds like there is a good reason she is your favorite. Hope I did not offend you as that was not my intent.
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