NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Dec 12, 2013 9:40:59 GMT -5
That sounds a tad more serious than just general forgetfulness. May I suggest a visit to the doctor with you telling the doctor your concerns before the visit
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Dec 12, 2013 9:47:09 GMT -5
To address a few points: DH used to be the most thoughtful and romantic person. He no longer is. Apparently it's my fault because I overfunction for him...? Yeah, I don't get it either. I never ask for any gifts, flowers, anything. I am very simple to do things for. Buy my me favorite $.99 Chapstick, a note on a post it would do it for me, anything to show a little thought and effort. We rarely eat out or buy gifts for each other. I try to do meaningful or thoughtful things for him all the time. I don't need an occasion to remember that I love him or appreciate him. It's been especially challenging over the past year with DH. He's become difficult to be around because of his attitude and general disinterest in anything but himself. He ended up taking half of the day off to grocery shop and try to make dinner. I appreciate the thought. I agree with the others. This sounds like something more than not following through on his promises. I would have him see his doctor.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Dec 12, 2013 10:02:58 GMT -5
OK, so I am curious, what dr does a person has to see if he starts breaking his promises?
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Dec 12, 2013 10:06:34 GMT -5
OK, so I am curious, what dr does a person has to see if he starts breaking his promises? LOL! To me, it was more the change in his personality that she is describing versus the fact that he isn't keeping his promises.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Dec 12, 2013 14:40:00 GMT -5
I agree. Forgetting is different than never intending to keep those promises to begin with. I don't think anyone purposely sets out to forget something that will hurt another person. His reaction when it was pointed out isn't normal, either. Something is wrong. No one normal spends a half a day in a grocery store. Yuck. I think he may have just simply drifted and lost track of the time. That's not normal, either, for an adult. For an airhead kid, yes. They forget why they went into the bedroom or the bathroom. Duh, to get ready for bed or to take a shower. Sigh.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Dec 12, 2013 14:43:28 GMT -5
OK, so I am curious, what dr does a person has to see if he starts breaking his promises
Dr. Phil
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Dec 12, 2013 17:42:18 GMT -5
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whoami
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Post by whoami on Dec 12, 2013 19:41:03 GMT -5
If my husband behaved this way I would not be thinking medical problem at all...and Id be looking into any possible extra curricular activities. Sorry, but JMO.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Dec 12, 2013 22:17:47 GMT -5
I didn't want to mention that so I didn't. It does seem suspicious but I'd rule out medical first.
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whoami
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Post by whoami on Dec 13, 2013 0:36:27 GMT -5
I'm sure its possible there is a medical explaination for his behavior.
It just would not be *my first suspicion.
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Sunnyday
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Post by Sunnyday on Dec 13, 2013 10:35:34 GMT -5
why does it have to go to such extremes? He must be depressed! He must be cheating on her!!
How about, couples get stale and stop appreciating each other? Benign, I know but it's the reality for many couples.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Dec 13, 2013 17:29:23 GMT -5
Well, if she were okay with it, then she wouldn't mention it here. Obviously she is not okay with it and asked for advice. Advice was given. What she does with it is up to her. I don't think his reaction is normal, period, but maybe for him it is and she doesn't like it anymore. Don't know.
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moneymaven
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Post by moneymaven on Dec 14, 2013 21:11:42 GMT -5
DH was diagnosed with ADD this year by two practitioners. It became especially bad after DS was born and he won't take his meds unless he's at work. It's been very challenging.
Definitely not cheating. Of all the things DH can be, I would never say unfaithful.
He grew up in a broken home and his mom disappeared from his life for a number of years.
It's no surprise to him though that I expect more. He ended up making a very nice meal for us and got me something I've been asking for, for our house. It was a nice evening because at that point, I hadn't expected anything.
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sarcasticgirl
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Post by sarcasticgirl on Dec 14, 2013 23:15:58 GMT -5
Sounds like a nice evening! I'd love for my DH to cook dinner for me without me having to do anything at all... Like he used to do when we were dating. *sigh* Perhaps his change of behavior is a side effect of the medications?!?!
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
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Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Dec 14, 2013 23:34:31 GMT -5
Sounds like it turned out after all.
Since he has been diagnosed with ADD, he might not think of "important dates" the same way you do.
But I'm glad it turned into a nice day for you in the end.
DH (when he was still here) used to give or send me a dozen yellow roses every year (the flower from my wedding bouquet). That stopped after about 15 yrs and I didn't mind. Gifts every year became "old hat" - and we usually ended up cooking (together) a really nice seafood dinner - usually escargot appetizers, lobster bisque& king crab legs with wine or champagne. We only gave each other cards - gifts were reserved for more "important" marriage milestones after ten years - like the 15th, 20th or 25th Anniversary.
Just having a nice romantic dinner either at home or at a nice (classy adult) restaurant was plenty for us.
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