moneymaven
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Post by moneymaven on Dec 11, 2013 1:07:04 GMT -5
Tomorrow is our marriage anniversary and DH has totally spaced it out. When I asked what we should do he said "for what?" Mind you, we talked about making plans on Saturday and he said he'd take care of it. I told him how annoyed I am again that he constantly forgets anything that is important to me. Then we argued and I couldn't help but laugh at the absurdity and walk away. Arguing about how we should celebrate our marriage.
Jerk hasn't even come to bed tonight. This kind of stuff is really getting old.
So, what type of things do you all do for your anniversary? Who remembers it? Who plans it? I'm trying to not hate DH right now...
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kjto1
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Post by kjto1 on Dec 11, 2013 6:53:40 GMT -5
We go out to dinner. (We don't exchange gifts - on occasion, we bought an item for the house.) Happy Anniversary!
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Dec 11, 2013 7:23:18 GMT -5
What we do for our anniversary depends on our kids.
Our first anniversary, we ate and stayed overnight at the same hotel the we did on our wedding day.
We've gone out to eat. For our tenth, we were able to get away for a 5 day mini vacation without the kids.
This year, we ended celebrating one month late by watching Argo (on DVD) all in one sitting and taking a nap. Our 3rd will not let anyone other than us put her down. She's been like that from the get-go. We have to get really creative about figuring out time away from the kids.
I usually plan everything. But, I'm the planner in the relationship. So, it doesn't bother me so much.
Honestly, we just try to make more of an effort to treat each other nicely/thoughtfully on a daily basis.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Dec 11, 2013 8:15:19 GMT -5
It all depends on teh year. Some years we have taken vacations to celebrate, other years it is just dinner and a movie. This year we went for a couples massage and a movie.
Sorry that he disappointed you..
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 11, 2013 8:26:49 GMT -5
I disappoint my wife all the time. par for the course.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 11, 2013 8:31:11 GMT -5
MEN! Harumpf!!! We get each other gifts. He usually has flowers sent to the office and I do a rift on whatever the Traditional Anniversary gift is for that year. I'd LOVE to go somewhere for our 10th next year but it's hard to find someone to watch two kids for any extended period of time. Time to start buttering up the in-laws... ETA: OOPS...I forgot! HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!!!!!
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Blonde Granny
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Post by Blonde Granny on Dec 11, 2013 8:42:01 GMT -5
We just celebrated anniversary #49. We went out to dinner.
I did receive a 3.5 ct solitaire diamond ring inset into my diamond studded ring jacket....that covered anniversary numbers 45 thru 50. I've had it for 4 years now.
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tractor
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Post by tractor on Dec 11, 2013 8:45:22 GMT -5
Today's my 20th anniversary. I mentioned it to my wife and she said "oh yeah, almost forgot". No dinner plans, but we might be able to go out over the weekend.
After the first one, does it really matter?
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Dec 11, 2013 8:58:40 GMT -5
I'm sorry he didn't make plans especially after telling you he would. Maybe he'll pull something off today still?
Dh does more planning for those things but can't schedule babysitting before the night of which means we don't usually get to do his plans these days.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 11, 2013 9:02:46 GMT -5
It ticks me off every time DH does it. If you say you're going to do something you should do it! Dropping the ball like that certainly doesn't make me look at him in a good light.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Dec 11, 2013 9:15:21 GMT -5
I am sorry your DH is not being more attentive and excited about your anniversary.
We haven't done anything that exciting for our anniversaries. Usually would just go out to dinner.
Like Beer, I am secretly hoping that we can go on some awesome vacation for our 10th. Childcare is not an issue, but my DH is not very big on traveling.
We don't usually do gifts either. My DH would totally do it but 1) he tells me I am too cheap and he can never spend the money that he wants on my gifts and 2) I always say I don't need/want anything so it's hard to find something.
I would give him gifts, but the things he is interested in I don't understand and wouldn't be able to buy something good. And also, I can't imagine giving someone a computer part or a woodworking tool as a gift.
Although, one year I did surprised him with a chainsaw for V-day.
I HOPE YOUR ANNIVERSARY TURNS OUT BETTER THAN YOU EXPECTED!! HAPPY ANNIVERSARY
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Cookies Galore
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Post by Cookies Galore on Dec 11, 2013 9:23:46 GMT -5
First, happy anniversary! Second, I hope he comes through for you!
Hubs and I are already talking about first anniversary (I just love a good excuse to celebrate!) and we're going to do our new favorite thing: book a fancy hotel room and have a night on the town. We started doing this after tropical storm lee forced a cancellation of our trip to Cooperstown. Instead of pouting, we booked a suite!
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Formerly SK
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Post by Formerly SK on Dec 11, 2013 10:11:34 GMT -5
We aren't big into anniversaries. We've never exchanged gifts, and in the past couple of years not even a card. We had our 10th last August and we were camping with the kids. I think we meant to celebrate it later but I don't remember if we did. I do remember feeling a bit badly that some friends of ours went away for a long weekend to celebrate their 1st anniversary and DH and I didn't bother to celebrate our 10th...like maybe we were too old/boring/apathetic. But, that couple has a very rough marriage and DH and I have a really great one so who's to say whether celebrating anniversaries is important.
OP - congrats on your anniversary and I hope you guys celebrate in a way that brings you happiness.
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whoami
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Post by whoami on Dec 11, 2013 10:42:26 GMT -5
DH is more "into" this kind of stuff than I am. He always comes home with cards, balloons, flowers etc for all the "special" days. Most of the time, I don't do much of anything other than toss a card into his suitcase or work bag. He finds it either in the cockpit or hotel room. He is content with that, and has never whined about me not doing more, so I figure I'm good.
We went to Hawaii for our first anniversary and Italy for our 10th. We travel a lot, but those two trips were pretty extravagant.
We go out to dinner all the time, so its not like a big special occasion to do it on our anniversary.
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Sunnyday
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Post by Sunnyday on Dec 11, 2013 11:16:44 GMT -5
We're not the romantic type. So we don't really do things to mark events.
Husband hates Valentine. I don't hate it. A long time ago I use to be romantic, now I'm a bit too cynical about everything.
But every once in a while, Wouldn't it be nice if DH did this or that to surprise me!
It never has happened. But I'm not complaining. I know who I married. We both forget our wedding anniversary. It's often other people who remind us with Congratulations! And almost every year, we're like "what?"
But why don't you do something fabulous for him? It's not just the man's job to wine and dine.
Do something fabulous! Your generosity will be paid back or at the worst you can make him feel guilty and lord it over him for at least a couple of months.[insert wink]
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Gardening Grandma
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Post by Gardening Grandma on Dec 11, 2013 11:17:53 GMT -5
We've done the same thing every year for the last 21 years. Our anniversary id Jan 1. It started because we were juggling the holidays to satisfy family members and decided that New Years would be OUR holiday. I book a cabin out on the coast for 3 days, we'd take our music, favorite foods. books and candles and just enjoy ourselves. It used to be a magical time for me.
About 10 years ago, DH wanted to invite another couple we are close to. I agreed and we all enjoyed it so much that they' ecome every year since.
The dynamic has changed. It's enjoyable enough, but it's not magical anymore.....
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bookkeeper
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Post by bookkeeper on Dec 11, 2013 11:49:13 GMT -5
We host the annual "Beating the odds" party. The location tends to vary. Our anniversary is in August, so we usually spend the weekend at the river and slip into the casino for the crab leg buffet. Last year we road tripped to Arizona.
We threw ourselves a 25th wedding anniversary party at our home. We filled the pop machine with beer and let the good times roll.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Dec 11, 2013 11:58:23 GMT -5
This year we booked a room in a local water park resort and took the kids. It had it's ups and downs. Meals were the down. Next time we take the kids somewhere for a weekend, I want a kitchen. Next year is our 10th. And I think work is sending me to Vegas for a conference a few weeks after our anniversary date. So I think DH is either coming with me or flying out for a couple of days/nights with me. In the past, we've done everything from B&Bs to lunch out. It depends on what's going on with us, the kids and my family (as they're the ones we the kids on)
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Dec 11, 2013 11:59:00 GMT -5
Is it bad that I have to check the engraving inside DH's wedding band to make sure I have the right date? The Iowa State Fair is held at the same time as our anniversary and we go every year. This year DH surprised me with chocolate covered strawberries and champange, compliments of the Hilton we were staying at. I get an ornament every year from a craft booth at the fair. This year I had her write down that it was our 5 year anniversary. It's displayed on the front of the tree right now.
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Baby Fawkes
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Post by Baby Fawkes on Dec 11, 2013 12:17:03 GMT -5
DW gave me one of the most useful wedding presents. She chose 9/10/11 as the date, so it makes it a lot easier to remember. On the flipside it'll make it a lot more of an issue if I forget in the future Neither of us are really into the present things. For the first year I got her a present, but she didn't get me one. That worked out well as I'd rather do something that spend money on things so now we don't do presents. We agreed to just go out for dinner each anniversary and then splurge on each 5 year one with a trip or a vacation of some sort to celebrate.
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flamingo
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Post by flamingo on Dec 11, 2013 12:37:19 GMT -5
We don't exchange gifts/do anything extravagant. I'm impressed if we remember to say Happy Anniversary to each other on the actual date (11/26). We were married the day after Thanksgiving and usually that's when we "celebrate". This year, our anniversary fell 2 days before Thanksgiving. Imagine my surprise when I got a Happy Anniversary email at work, then later at home I got a card with a lotto ticket in it! He even picked up a card for me to sign and give to him DH is the one that is anti gifts other than Xmas and birthdays, so I was surprised he remember AND got cards. It made me smile.
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greeniis10
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Post by greeniis10 on Dec 11, 2013 12:58:22 GMT -5
OP, I'm sorry you are sad and frustrated. Hopefully it will turn out better than you hoped!
DH planned our wedding and picked the date. He chose the day before my birthday, which helps him remember BOTH dates, but I don't care too much. I often worry that I will forget our anniversary. To me it is more important to have a good marriage and remember each other daily rather than on a specific day. I tend to remember (and acknowledge) the day we committed to each other exclusively. The wedding ceremony a few years later was just a formality for family.
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quince
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Post by quince on Dec 11, 2013 15:05:29 GMT -5
My husband's father had our anniversary date engraved on the bottoms of some custom salt/pepper mills. I'm grateful, because while I remember the month, the date itself escapes me.
We don't do anything. We thought about eating at the place we got married at, but we forgot until the next weekend, and we had a baby who was a month old by then, anyway. Not our thing. But your husband knows it's your thing, so he should be paying a little more attention to it.
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sarcasticgirl
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Post by sarcasticgirl on Dec 11, 2013 15:08:16 GMT -5
Sorry that your DH has disappointed you... but happy anniversary!
Personally, I don't really care to make a big deal out of our anniversary. We usually go out to dinner... but we do that fairly regularly anyway. we don't do big gifts or anything... usually something small.
we're only 3 years in and i brought up maybe going with the traditional anniversary gift list and being creative. Mostly I thought it would be fun... probably more so for me than DH.
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whoami
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Post by whoami on Dec 11, 2013 15:09:10 GMT -5
Is it bad that I have to check the engraving inside DH's wedding band to make sure I have the right date? Nope. I know mine is the 30th or 31st...whatever the last day of the month is. I have to think about it every time I'm asked though.
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steph08
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Post by steph08 on Dec 11, 2013 15:32:19 GMT -5
We don't really do anyting for our anniversary. The weekend before or after, we'll go out to eat and to a movie, usually, but that's about it. I think I got take-out for our anniversary this year and we sat at home and watched a DVD.
We usually buy ourselves whatever we want during the year, so I don't feel the need to spend hundreds of dollars on each other for our anniversary or Christmas.
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Peace Of Mind
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Dec 11, 2013 15:45:37 GMT -5
Happy Anniversary! I hope him staying up late was to get what he promised done. DH is not a planner nor is he very romantic (and I'm not really either) but he will surprise me with little things that he knows I love throughout the year. I prefer a husband that is faithful, responsible, sweet, respectful, capable, etc. instead of a romantic planner once or twice a year. I hope yours is too. We also celebrate our dating anniversary and when we moved in together (after dating 6 weeks) more than our marriage one. It's longer and more impressive and some would probably even say a miracle!
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moneymaven
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Post by moneymaven on Dec 11, 2013 20:12:25 GMT -5
We're not the romantic type. So we don't really do things to mark events. Husband hates Valentine. I don't hate it. A long time ago I use to be romantic, now I'm a bit too cynical about everything. But every once in a while, Wouldn't it be nice if DH did this or that to surprise me! It never has happened. But I'm not complaining. I know who I married. We both forget our wedding anniversary. It's often other people who remind us with Congratulations! And almost every year, we're like "what?" But why don't you do something fabulous for him? It's not just the man's job to wine and dine. Do something fabulous! Your generosity will be paid back or at the worst you can make him feel guilty and lord it over him for at least a couple of months.[insert wink] I already did. I redid the entertainment center while he was on a business trip so he could enjoy the new TV he bought but didn't fit into our existing space. He said he'd plan it so I expected him to make good on his word!
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moneymaven
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Post by moneymaven on Dec 11, 2013 21:32:08 GMT -5
To address a few points:
DH used to be the most thoughtful and romantic person. He no longer is. Apparently it's my fault because I overfunction for him...? Yeah, I don't get it either.
I never ask for any gifts, flowers, anything. I am very simple to do things for. Buy my me favorite $.99 Chapstick, a note on a post it would do it for me, anything to show a little thought and effort.
We rarely eat out or buy gifts for each other. I try to do meaningful or thoughtful things for him all the time. I don't need an occasion to remember that I love him or appreciate him.
It's been especially challenging over the past year with DH. He's become difficult to be around because of his attitude and general disinterest in anything but himself.
He ended up taking half of the day off to grocery shop and try to make dinner. I appreciate the thought.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Dec 12, 2013 9:16:35 GMT -5
That sounds a tad more serious than just general forgetfulness. May I suggest a visit to the doctor with you telling the doctor your concerns before the visit?
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